For the Love of an Outlaw

by T. S. Joyce

  He lifted his arm smoothly over her shoulder and tucked her against his warm ribs, then smiled down at her. Sure, his eyes still couldn’t pass for human in any way, but that smile leveled her insides and eased a tension in her shoulders she hadn’t known she was carrying. He was okay, and she was okay, and everything was going to be okay.

  The Long Island and the whiskey had done its job. The edge of the pain in her shoulder was nice and fuzzy now. Trigger had taped gauze to it, and if she didn’t move her arm, it was fine. When a country song she recognized came on the radio, she smiled. It was about a first date.

  “Was tonight our first date?” she asked.

  “Woman, if I took you on a date, you wouldn’t be questioning it.”

  “Well, you took me shoe shopping. And we grocery shopped together. And we got in a barfight together.”

  A deep chuckle reverberated from Trig’s chest. “You want our first date to include a barfight?”

  “Well, who else could say that about their first date?” She clamped her teeth gently onto his shoulder, and a soft groan sounded from him. Whoa, sexy man. She did it again, and he rolled his hips slightly.

  Ava slid her hand to the seam of his pants where his hard erection pressed against it. She couldn’t help the smile that took over her face if she tried. She’d done that—made him want her back, like she wanted him.

  It was warm in the truck, and the snowy woods were blurring by outside the window, but she was completely taken by his relaxed profile. His knuckles were still bleeding, but he looked the epitome of calm.

  “Usually, I’m worked up after a fight and I need to Change right away. Sometimes it’s really bad, and I Change during a fight.”

  “You seem okay right now.”

  Trig frowned. “I am. You confuse me. Half the time you make my animal harder to manage, and the other half you make him quiet and watchful. Tonight was close. I almost Changed in that bar, and if that ever happens and you’re around, you have to make me a promise.”

  “Anything.”

  “Promise me you’ll run.”

  “Leave you in a fight?”

  “Yep. Leave me, leave Colton, leave the fuckin’ town until you know I’m Changed back. No hesitation, just get the hell out of there.”

  “What are you?”

  He brushed his lips against her hair. “I’m a weapon.”

  “A weapon?”

  He pulled to the side of the road and pushed the gear shift on the steering column all the way up into park. “I’m the trigger. It’s why my dad gave me that name. Anyone messes with someone I care about, I get obsessed and don’t back down until they pay. I can’t back down. I don’t have it in me.”

  “Trigger,” she whispered, and then repeated because she had to know, “What are you?”

  He leaned into her and kissed her deep, and when he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers and murmured, “I’m yours.”

  It wasn’t the answer she’d expected. It was so much better. Someday he would show her what dark creature dwelled inside of him, but for now he was giving her something just as big. Himself.

  She only winced a little when she cupped his cheeks and kissed him. And the pain dulled even more when he laid her back on the bench seat and pushed his tongue past her lips. His fingers dug into her hip, into her thigh, into her knee, and back to her thigh as he touched her rough, how he wanted. She loved this. Loved how he couldn’t seem to control his hands around her. It was the perfect amount of pressure to rev her up. Already, she was writhing against him, needy sounds in her throat as he kissed her senseless. She remembered exactly what his fingers felt like sliding inside of her, and right now, she wanted—no, needed—that so she could feel centered again. She’d been floating off the ground since she’d watched Chase turn into a big cat, but Trigger could fix it. He could give her relief. He could anchor her to the world again with his touch. He could make her forget her fear from earlier and she could get lost in him, and right now, she didn’t want anything else.

  He shoved her legs apart and laid his full weight on her. She should’ve been uncomfortable under such a big man, but it was fine. The pressure made her feel safe. His kisses were becoming more urgent, and she ignored the pain when she lifted the hem of his shirt. He reached over his head and yanked his shirt off, shoved his jacket out of their way, unzipped hers, and lifted her sweater. And then he did something she fell in love with. He laid down on top of her and let off this sigh of relief when the skin of their stomachs touched. He was so warm, and she got that same sense of happiness touching him like this, too. He was the perfect fit for her.

  The roll of his hips was smooth against hers, and his hard erection was rubbing her in the perfect spot. There was a soft rumbling sound in his throat that gave her chills. Desperately, she reached between them and unfastened his belt. Trig’s hips jerked as she popped the button of his jeans. God, he was beautiful, propped up on massive, tattooed, locked arms, his triceps flexing as he looked down at her. His gaze and touch were flames against her skin, and all she wanted…the only thing…was for him to be buried deep inside of her, connected. This wouldn’t be like her first time. This would be even bigger. She didn’t know how she knew, but she just did. Tonight, he was letting her in. He was letting them build a bond.

  She’d never felt so close to another person in her entire life, and she was high on the thought that she wasn’t alone anymore. Trigger had been the most unexpected thing to happen to her.

  Hands steady, he undid her jeans and pulled them along with her panties down her hips to her knees, then past her ankles. His focus stayed between her legs as he pushed the head of his cock into her by an inch. He drew back and lifted that gold gaze to hers, watched her face as he gripped her hip and pushed all the way inside her.

  God, it felt so good. She arched her back and let off a helpless sound, spread her knees wider for him as he withdrew and pushed in again. How could anything feel this incredible?

  “Trig,” she whispered as he pushed all the way in again, bumping her just right as he did.

  Lowering himself to her, he made her feel safe and secure as he kissed her and bucked into her faster, faster. No taking their time on this one, and she didn’t want to. Already, she was close to climax, the pressure building and building until she was yelling with every stroke. “Right there,” she pleaded, and he kept steady as her body shattered.

  Big, rutting, dominant man. He milked every aftershock until she was twitching, and then he eased out of her and flipped her over like she weighed nothing. It hurt staying propped up on her one arm, but his hand went gently around her throat, and locking his other arm right beside her, he helped her stay upright in the sexiest damn way she could imagine. It was a gentle choke. She could still breathe just fine, but having his big hand right there, holding her in place as he slid into her from behind had her gasping his name.

  The growl in his chest filled the cab of the truck, and the windows were all steamed up. She slammed her hand against the passenger’s side window as he bucked into her over and over, faster and faster. His hand went from her throat to between her legs, and he touched her clit as he stroked into her. His teeth grazed her ear and she lost it. Again. She cried out as her climax came out of nowhere, and Trig reared back, then slammed into her deep. He froze for a second as his big dick pulsed hard inside of her, spilling warmth. A dozen more strokes, and he’d emptied himself into her, and their throbbing releases matched.

  “Oh, my gosh,” she whispered, rocking back and forth with his leisurely pumping motion. That had been…everything. She never wanted to be disconnected from him. She could’ve stayed just like this forever. For two songs, it was bliss. It was a hand print on the steamed-up window, warm air from the vent, and soft country music. It was her man behind her, taking care of her body with slow strokes, making her feel safer than she’d ever felt. It was the dull ache in her arm that reminded her he’d finally let her in on this town’s secrets and drawn her from the o
utside right into the center of the circle. It was snow falling in the high beams, and his soft kisses on her shoulders, the back of her neck, and her ears. He was adoring her and making her fall for him even harder.

  This was that life-changing moment when she knew she would never be the same. Not after tonight. Not after all she’d seen and done. Not after being with him like this.

  After tonight, there would be no leaving Trigger easily.

  Chapter Twelve

  What had he done?

  Trigger eased his arm out from under Ava and stared at her in the dark. She was curled on her side, the blue moonlight highlighting her beautiful face, her dark lashes lying on her cheeks as she slept soundly. How could a woman feel so safe to let her body go unconscious around a monster like him?

  What had he done?

  He’d been so good as a kid, was unselfish and let her go make a life for herself. But now he was forming a bond with her. Testing her. Tethering her to him. To this place. To this town she’d been so uncomfortable in. And she’d come back, and look at him now. He’d let himself lose control with her twice now because he was weak around her. Because he needed to touch her and hear those sexy little noises while he made her feel good. He’d been getting more and more attached to her, and then seeing her under Chase’s teeth had done something awful to him. It had scared him and made him desperate to make sure she was okay. Alive. Breathing. Warm under his touch. He’d taken her rough, and what had she done? Loved it. He could tell just by her body’s reaction. By the sounds she made, encouraging him. She’d awakened a monster, gained his fealty, and what good did that do her? None at all if she was still leaving next week.

  She was it for him. Always had been, and now that he’d had her, he wanted to keep her for always. He couldn’t stop staring at the rips on her shoulder, the slices that had caused her pain. Those claw marks represented his life. His existence was pain, and look what had happened to her just a few days in.

  What had he done? He’d ruined himself. He’d wrecked his damn heart, and he would spiral bad when she left. He would Change uncontrollably and mourn the loss of his mate, and his soul would always feel a little darker. And it would always feel like he was carrying his heart outside of his body. That pain would never go away. He knew this. Knew that’s the way it would be because that’s how it was for shifters when they picked their person. It was permanent. There was no take-backs, and what the fuck had he done to both of them?

  He’d ruined them.

  He rested his elbows on his knees and ran his hands over and over his hair, unsure of how to feel. It was hard to regret being with the woman he’d thought about for so long. It was better being with her than he’d imagined. And he, hardened bear shifter, loner, Clan of One, outcast of Darby, and ruiner of her brother’s life, had an even weaker moment and imagined her holding his cub. Imagined her looking down at his little dark-haired baby boy, her neck arched gracefully, curves fuller from getting his son to air, humming under her breath and rocking back and forth on the front porch swing he’d carved with his dad all those years ago.

  Goddammit, he wanted that more than anything, and he had no right to it. His body felt like someone had just shoved a saber into his guts. His body tensed and tingled in waves, and he knew he was on his way out. The grizzly was giving him warnings. Vacate quick because the monster wanted the body soon.

  He’d never hated what he was so much until now. She deserved normal, and he could never be that. Oh sure, he could keep her body safe. She had the protection of a beast. But he was the biggest risk to Ava’s happiness. A flash of memory filled his head…the vision of Colton’s body after he’d mauled him. The night he’d Turned his best friend. What would keep him from doing that to Ava?

  On the end table sat a notepad with numbers scrawled all over the top page. Trig grunted in pain as his body jerked with the need to Change. Soon now. Soon he wouldn’t exist, and the bear would be roaming the ranch, causing havoc.

  Doubling over the pain in his center, Trigger scribbled a note to Ava so she would know exactly what happened when she woke up and he was different toward her.

  Dear Ava,

  I’ve never been scared of anything until you came along. What happens if I lose it? What if I bite you and make you a monster like me? Or worse? What if you don’t survive me? The animal isn’t a blessing, it’s a curse, and the longer you stay here, the deeper you sink into that curse.

  The clan calls me Hairpin Trigger.

  To you, I’m Quicksand.

  You’re safe from everyone but me,

  Trig

  Chapter Thirteen

  Three days. Three days of waiting for this dang claw mark to heal, three days of sifting through mountains of paperwork, trying to figure out a way to make this place viable again, three days of Colton staying conveniently off the ranch, and three days of Trigger being too busy to even talk to her in passing.

  She’d woken up to a letter that she’d read a couple dozen times, trying to understand what had gone wrong. Trigger had shut down on her, gone cold, and the sting of it was like a slap on frozen skin.

  The boys had been so close-knit in the bar, moving as one, and she’d been a part of that. She’d felt it. She was theirs to protect, and now she was theirs to ignore?

  The small dining room was where she’d set up shop. It was a closed-off room, not open to the kitchen or living area, and she used the hand-carved dining table as her desk. She’d picked the chair on the end because right on the corner of the table was an old scrawled carving of a TM. Trigger Massey had been naughty when he was a kid and used some sort of pocket knife to do this. But for Ava, sitting here tracing those little initials while she talked on the phone to settle and consolidate his debts…well, it was a way to feel close to him. Because right now, he felt very far away. Her chest went hollow just thinking about it.

  She’d gone through her life so afraid of being close to anyone, especially a man, and then her heart had landed on the most dangerous one of all. One who harbored some unknown animal, but even scarier, who drew her attention and made her imagine a life she had no business imagining.

  Ava looked at the dark wood walls and the little shelves with the mismatched white and blue teacups. There was a small fireplace near her with crackling flames keeping her warm. It was snowing outside, and the evening shadows were covering the ranch, but in here, it was bright and cheery and warm. So why did she feel so cold inside?

  Three days had given her plenty of time to work through what she’d witnessed and experienced in the GutShot. She’d even gotten a book from the Darby Public Library on shape-shifters, but none of the lore seemed to match up to what she saw and heard of the mountain lions.

  Through the dining room doorway, she could see the heavy steel front door, and it made sense now. Trigger was keeping the monsters out. But perhaps the monster he was trying to keep out…was him.

  Her life in Alabama seemed very small and vanilla compared to what was happening here. She’d left Darby to find an exciting life, not knowing she had enough excitement to last her four lifetimes right here.

  The old baby-puke brown corded phone on the wall rang, and she pushed away from the table and answered it. “Hello?”

  “Yes, is this Two Claws Ranch?” a woman asked.

  “It sure is. I’m Ava, what can I do for you?”

  “Well, I come through on vacation every couple of years with my family, and a few years ago we did a trail ride through your ranch, but I’m looking on the website, and it says it’s no longer booking those. I had the best experience, and my husband actually re-proposed to me up on one of the mountains. I wanted to re-book that experience, but it looks like you are shut down. I thought I would call and just see if you could make an exception, or maybe ask if you were just temporarily shut down? We’re staying a couple nights in Darby next month.”

  Ava’s mouth was hanging open. “A…trail ride?”

  “Yes, ma’am, a couple of good lookin’ cowboys took my
family on a two-day excursion and told us the history of the area. Cooked out for us and set up our tents and everything. It was an experience my family has been talking about for two years.”

  “I’m new here,” Ava explained, “just started last week, so I wasn’t around for the trail-riding part of this ranch, but is it okay if I asked how much Trigger charged you?”

  “Trigger! That was his name. He was real quiet but real polite and was really good with my boys. And yes! I think total we paid eight hundred dollars for four people, and that covered everything.”

  Ava stretched the cord as far as it would go and sank down into her chair as a light bulb went off above her head. Scrambling for her notepad, she shoved the scribbled top page out of the way and asked, “Well, I think I could convince Trigger and Colton to do another trail ride depending on when you’re in town. What dates were you thinking?

  “Oh, my gosh, this is amazing. Um, February six and seventh if you have those dates available.”

  Ava scribbled the dates down, asked for her email address and number, and then said she would talk to the boys and call back as soon as possible. And when she hung up the phone, she leaned back against the wall and whispered to herself, “Why the hell didn’t they tell me?”

  Detective hat on, she sat down to her computer and clacked away at the keys until she found the Two Claws Ranch website. It was simple as hell and needed some major overhauling, but yep, there it was. Information about trail rides. There were one and two-day excursions, prices, and an outline of what it entailed, everything. Holy motherfuckin’ hell, she was going to kick both boys in the shins for keeping this from her.

  She’d been wracking her brains for a solution on syphoning income to this place and paying down the debts so Trigger could get some relief and get out of the red. But he wouldn’t get paid for his cattle at auction until the spring, and something had happened to the herd that cut them way down right before she came. He’d lost a lot of his profit right there, and this place was turning into a money pit.