For the Love of an Outlaw

by T. S. Joyce

  Chapter Fourteen

  Life with Trigger was good. So good. It was easy. It was fun and romantic in ways she hadn’t expected. He did little things for her. Yesterday, he’d bought her a little reindeer stuffed animal in town and handed it to her with a trio of her favorite children’s snacks—animal crackers, Cheeto paws chips, and gummy worms. It was better than any bouquet of flowers. It was her love language he had deciphered in record time. She didn’t need big expensive gifts. She just needed him to listen and think of her sometimes.

  It was the countdown each day that took away from her happiness here. She had her daily planner lying open on the dining table among all the Two Claws Trail Ride business paperwork. It was something she tried to ignore as she set up the business that was a total Hail Mary to save this place. Each day, Trigger opened up more, hugged her, held her hand, talked to her about his childhood, the things he loved, the things he wished for, the life he wanted. He made her laugh all the time. He could be broody when his bear was in his eyes, turning them gold, and he was witty and fun when his eyes were chocolate brown. She had fallen in love with all parts of him, but it was terrifying to admit that out loud. He’d taken her under his wing, taught her how to saddle her own horse again, taken her out on rides, showed her the million things he did around the ranch to keep everything running. He cooked for her sometimes, and she cooked for him others. Each evening before dinner, he practiced shooting targets with her, and when they went into town, he always asked her along and held her close to his side in his truck.

  Life with him was comfortable. It made her appreciate taking moments to find peace, because that’s what this quiet man did. He observed and pointed out beautiful things. Birds in the snowy brush, an early born calf finding it’s legs in the barn for the first time. She was even finding the humor in his hellion horse’s attitude.

  Trigger was a man who talked when it was important, and he always surprised her with his wisdom. Days were full and perfect and covered in smiles. But each night, when he would go check the animals in the barn one last time, or when he needed to Change, she would go into the dining room and mark through another day in her planner with a red pen.

  And each time she did, it was as if she was dragging the tip of that sharp pen across the most sensitive part of her heart.

  Three days left, and she didn’t want to leave.

  Scratch.

  Ava put the pen down and closed the planner so she didn’t have to see all those marked-off days, and feeling a little upset, she did something she hadn’t done since she was a kid. She went to find Colton for comfort.

  Clad in a sweater, leggings, and snow boots, she crossed her arms over her chest to ward off the bitter wind and jogged across the snowy lawn to the small cabin that sat just to the west.

  Three knocks had her knuckles feeling raw on that wooden door, and then Colton yanked it open exactly three inches. Eyes narrowed in suspicion, he asked, “What?”

  “Okay, hermit,” she said with a giggle, “let me in. I’m ready to meet your squirrel.”

  “You called her a rat the other day.”

  “Oh, my gosh, it was a joke. Now move.” She pushed her way in and barely ducked out of the way when a tiny, hairy torpedo went sailing at her face.

  Colton snatched the little squirrel out of the air and held her to his chest as she struggled to escape, beady eyes on Ava. “Genie doesn’t like being called a rat.”

  “Genie probably needs to be a free squirrel in the wild!” Ava exclaimed, clutching her chest over her pounding heart.

  Colton snorted. “I’ve tried to set her free like eight hundred times. She comes right back. She chewed a hole in my damn door getting back in here. She’s loyal,” he deadpanned as he put Genie in an oversized cage covered in hanging, colorful toys. She would’ve been a cute squirrel if she wasn’t staring at Ava and biting the bars of her cage like she was rabid.

  “She’s got an attitude problem,” Ava murmured, sinking down onto the couch in the small living area.

  “Reminds me of someone else I know.”

  It would’ve been more offensive if Colton hadn’t relaxed and wasn’t wearing a baiting grin right now. He plopped into the old leather recliner across from the couch and rested his boot on the coffee table with a clunk. “You got somethin’ to tell me about you and Trigger?”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” she said coyly.

  “Hmmm, well he’s been humming under his breath, and he is about fifty percent less murdery. Yesterday, I caught him googling baby reindeers for sale on his phone. When I called him out, he asked if it was okay that he likes you. I nearly lost my breakfast.”

  Giggling, Ava sat cross-legged and pointed to Dad’s old revolver. “Is that why they call you the Peacemaker?”

  “Nah, that’s coincidence. I used to stop Trigger from maiming people who provoked him in town. I was his keeper in a way.”

  “But not anymore?”

  “Now, I’m like him. I want to fight just as much. I don’t keep the peace that much anymore.”

  “You’re loyal,” she murmured.

  The smile slipped from his face, and her brother rubbed his blond, two-day stubble. “Sometimes loyalty is a curse.”

  “I don’t think it is. I think you got all the things Dad lacked.”

  His startled gaze twitched to her. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re a badass, Colton. Look what you did. You raised me the rest of the way when Dad left. You must have been hurting too, but you never showed it. You just worked hard and paid the bills and kept me in school. I used to think you checked out on me, but Trigger told me what it was really like for you.” Her voice cracked because this was hard to say. She swallowed a few times and tried again. “You stepped up for me, and I think you step up for Trigger more often than anyone realizes. I think you’re still the Peacemaker. Dad was a leaver, but you’re a stayer. I’m glad I came back and got to see you for what you are. I was wrong to stay away for so long.”

  Colton’s eyes filled with emotion and lightened to a muddy gold just before he gave his attention to the crackling fire in the small stone hearth. “I wanted to go where you were.”

  “I know. Trig told me. The bear got in the way, huh?”

  His eyes filled with emotion. “It don’t matter. The past is the past. It’s been good on the soul to have you around here smarting off. Plus, it’s been funny as hell watching you try to learn to saddle that old swaybacked nag you keep wanting to ride.”

  “Hey! She’s safe and beautiful. White like a snowflake, and I feel like a queen when I sit on her.”

  “Well you look like the court jester, but keep imagining yourself royal.”

  She threw a cardboard coaster from the end table at him as he cracked himself up.

  Grinning wickedly, Colton said, “I’m gonna take a picture of you bouncing around on that Shetland-sized pony beside Trig on his black stallion. Y’all look hilarious.”

  With an eyeroll, she leaned against the armrest and pulled the sleeves of her sweater over her hands. “I came in here to make amends and tell you I missed you, and you’ve ruined it and reminded me that I don’t actually miss you at all.”

  “I’m gonna sic my squirrel on you if you don’t be nice in my house.”

  Scrunching up her face, Ava grimaced at Genie, who had two tiny hands around the bars of her cage and was staring back at her. That little, furry demon was going to visit her nightmares.

  “I have an admission,” she said.

  “Oh, God, I don’t care about your lady time of the month. Just tell me when to throw chocolate at you and leave you alone.”

  “Ha! I forgot you actually used to do that my senior year. No, I need advice. Like…brotherly advice.”

  Colton’s eyebrows arched up, and he relaxed back in the chair. “Wow. Okay, lay it on me.”

  “I like it here. I like Trigger, and I like being around you again. I like learning about the ranch. I like trying to save it.” She inhaled de
eply because it suddenly felt like an elephant was sitting on her chest. “But I built up this life, and I should go back to it. I’m right on the verge of being really successful in my business. I’ve worked so hard to get where I am, and I thought that was all I wanted and needed. No friends, and no meaningful relationships because those are risky, right?”

  Colton twitched his attention to the door and back. “Go on.”

  “Well, I’ve been counting down since I got here to when I could leave, and at first I was so happy to mark off the days, but now I hate it. It’s one more day I can’t have back, one more day closer to leaving, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to take time off and come back. I had everything figured out, Colt. Everything down to the littlest detail of my future. And then I came here, and now I feel so different. Like…from my bones outward…I’ve changed.”

  Colton’s face had morphed from confusion to something more while she’d talked. Hopefulness? Pride? But he twitched his attention to the door again, and his eyebrows lowered slightly. “How are you different?” he asked, standing up.

  As he made his way to the front window to push the curtains aside, she explained. “I was working sixty hours a week and so driven. Just happy to be working toward a goal, and I thought I was fulfilled, fixing the holes people had dug themselves into, or helping them invest in their future. But I came here, and I work maybe eight hours a day on saving this place, but I get so much downtime to just…be. To spend time getting to know Trigger, spend time getting to know you again. I feel a part of something, and I don’t know if I’ve had that since it was me and you and Dad against the world, you know? Now it’s kinda scary thinking about going back to that life I’ve worked so hard for, and what if it isn’t enough anymore? What if I want to take coffee on the porch and watch the snow in the mornings, or pet the baby cow—”

  “Calf.”

  “Whatever. What if I miss the open space and miss dinners actually eating at a table talking to someone I care about? What if I miss you?”

  Colton leaned his back against the wall by the window and shook his head sadly. “This place has turned you into a sappy girl.”

  With a giggle, Ava said, “It really has. I can shoot guns and herd cattle on my little ancient steed, clean a chicken coop and my hands have blisters. I gave a baby cow a bottle, and I feel tougher in some ways, but in others? Feels like I let too many walls down, and now I don’t know how to build them back up again. I think y’all broke me.”

  “You ain’t broken, Ava. There’s no shame in feeling. What do you want to do?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Stop thinking about your business and what you did to get here for thirty seconds, and just ask yourself what would make you have the happiest life.” He leaned his head back on the log wall and repeated, “What do you want? Do you want your safe life back at home? You’ll probably kill your seven plants within the year because, last I remember, you were shit at keeping things alive. You want your sixty-hour work weeks? You want those TV dinners in your apartment surrounded by paperwork? Because you’re bringing your work home, right? You want to keep your shutdown? Keep the old Ava, the one Dad still has power over, because you’re still struggling to let anyone in? Or do you look around this place and want something different? This is a dangerous life, Ava. You’ll get hurt. You’ll get scars. You’ll have to stand by while Trig and I make some really fucked-up decisions sometimes. You’ll watch your man hurt. You’ll watch him struggle with that fuckin’ grizzly that never settled inside of him. Do you keep those shallow, emotionless roots you grew in Alabama? Or do you get loyal and accept your place here, under our protection? Grow them deep, thick roots that won’t let go of a place. Do you want to stay alone, or do you want to grow a Clan? Do you want to become royalty? Because that’s what you’ll be here. You get that right? Trig will put you on the throne of this place and make you queen.” Colton shuffled his feet. “I can’t make this decision for you, but I can make an observation. I’ve been watching you. You came in sour-faced and tired. Chewed up by the world and shut down. And over the last week and a half, I watched you smile more, laugh more. Watched you melt against a man when Trig hugged you. It’s not my place to tell you whether you should chase a half-life or not, little sister. I can only tell you what I wish you would do.”

  On the edge of the couch, emotion thickening in her throat, hope stirring in her blood, she asked her brother, “What do you wish?”

  “That you’ll stay here and give me and Trig something to fight for.”

  Boom!

  The sound of a gunshot was deafening in the quiet that stretched between them. Ava jumped.

  “Shit,” Colton muttered, reaching for the rifle above the door. “I knew something was off. Get to the big house, Ava. House rule, don’t come out of there.” He waited for her to make it to the front porch before he yanked the door closed behind them.

  “What’s happening?” she asked, panicking and stumbling as fast as she could through the snow in a beeline for the big house.

  “That was Trig’s gun. Bolt that door, Ava, and don’t you come out of there,” he called over his shoulder as he ran for the barn. “No matter what you see, don’t you come out.”

  Boom! Boom! “Colton!” Trig’s voice echoed through the clearing. “Stay with Ava!”

  She strained her eyes, but couldn’t see where Trig was. It was too dark in the space outside of the porch lights.

  A roar filled the air. It seemed to come up from the earth and vibrate through her entire body. It was the most terrifying sound she’d ever heard. It promised destruction.

  “Colton!” Trig yelled again. He was in trouble.

  “Oh, my gosh,” she murmured to herself, hands shaking as she shoved the door closed behind her.

  “There she is,” a gritty voice said behind her.

  With a gasp, she spun and slammed her back against the door in terror. Chase stood from where he’d been sitting on the couch. He was almost unrecognizable from the bruising on his face, but she would never forget his feline smile. It was so empty.

  “I didn’t get to finish what I started the other day, sweetheart.” He limped a step closer, and her blood froze. She couldn’t move.

  “I’ve been fuckin’ with Hairpin’s head for a year now. He’s so easy to mess with. Do you know how to topple an apex predator? You don’t corner them, nah.” His frosty silver eyes narrowed, and his smile turned even colder. “You get in their head and make them go crazy. And when they don’t know which way is up or down, you end them and take their territory.”

  “Why are you doing this?” she whispered shakily.

  “Because it’s fun to shatter unbreakable things. Trig messed with the MCs. He wrecked the balance here. Took income from my crew. Took income from me. He fought me too many times. Shamed me in front of my own damn people so I found a bear for hire. He’s been systematically eating Trig’s herd for a year, and all the while Trig thinks it’s his bear doing the damage. I can see it. See him failing. See him losing it. See the guilt he carries.”

  Boom! Boom!

  Ava hunched and whispered a curse, tears welling in her eyes.

  “You came along and fucked up my game. We were ruining his life, and you came in and started fixing the little secret things like the debts. And then I watched Hairpin Trigger keep his human body when I tried to Change you, and I knew my timeline had changed. You’re making him salvageable.” He made a clicking sound behind his teeth. “Can’t have that. Can’t have a bear clan taking roots here. Not when I was so close to ending them. So tonight I brought in that War-Bear I’ve been paying to fuck with him…and he’ll end him. He ain’t weak in the head like Hairpin. He’s good at killing pathetic things.”

  Chace was to her so fast he blurred, and his fist came sailing at her face. She only had time to close her eyes and throw her hands up before impact, but it never came. Instead, a tremendous crash sounded. When she opened her eyes, the alpha of the Darby Clan was pulling hi
mself from a broken wall, and another man was standing in front of her. Kurt?

  “Find your grit, girl,” he snarled over his shoulder. “Your boys are dyin’.”

  And something snapped inside of her. The fear that had been pouring through her like water from a broken faucet just stopped. She went still. The shaking died to nothing.

  Your boys are dyin’.

  My boys. My boys. Mine. My Clan.

  She didn’t react when Kurt hunched into himself and then exploded into a massive mountain lion right in front of her. She didn’t react when Chase did the same. They circled each other slowly, long canines exposed and faces scrunched up with the promise of violence.

  Find your grit, girl.

  Fury took her. Rage, red and infinite, filled every cell in her body until she moved on instinct.

  Fuck house rules.

  The titan cougars behind her clashed like two freight trains, but they could have their fight. She had one of her own. Ava ripped the rifle she’d been practicing with off the hooks by the door. She grabbed a handful of bullets and yanked the door open.

  The biting wind felt like nothing against her cheeks. Her clothes were too thin for the weather, but she didn’t feel the cold at all. All she felt was the fire of the rage that Chase had built in her middle.

  Eyes reflected in the snowy woods around her. “Cougars, Cougars everywhere,” she whispered as she pressed bullet after bullet into the magazine until the rifle wouldn’t take anymore. Then she shoved the bolt lever forward and slid one into the chamber. Safety was on, but she could change that in an instant. The Darby Clan was messing with the wrong damn ranch.

  Behind her, the sound of shattering glass and splintering wood was deafening, but she had to trust Kurt to keep her back safe while she ran for the sound of the roaring bear.

  She ran to the tree line and blasted through it, legs and lungs burning with the effort.

  Harley came barreling through the winter woods directly at her, and she barely had time to jump out of the way. When he screamed and locked his legs as he skidded past her, she nearly stumbled over her feet to avoid his pounding hooves. He spun and gave her his back, reared up, exposing the mountain lion holding on to him. Red splattered on the snow. Fuck.