The MX Book of New Sherlock Holmes Stories Part II

by David Marcum

  HOLMES: Mrs. Guttridge did everything by the letter of the law. The doctor was sent for straight away.

  WATSON: And?

  HOLMES: “No obvious cause of death”.

  WATSON: It may not have been the most rigorous examination. Those East End practices are desperately overworked.

  HOLMES: And some of the doctors there are not above taking money to turn a blind eye.

  WATSON: That is a disgusting suggestion.

  HOLMES: Which you know full well to be true. Every barrel has its rotten apples, Watson. It will always be so.

  WATSON: (Reluctantly) Yes, I’m afraid you’re right. (A moment) I take it you investigated this Guttridge man, then? Was it your first murder case?

  HOLMES: Actually, I was reluctant to get involved.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 23. INT. SMITH’S OFFICE, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

  HOLMES: You must go to the police.

  JENNY: The police! I can’t! Don’t you know what happens to servants who criticise their masters, sir? I’d be out on my ear and no character. Then what would happen to me?

  HOLMES: You have your job here.

  JENNY: Four hours work at fivepence a night? Could you live on that?

  SMITH: No, he couldn’t. I understand your problem, my dear.

  JENNY: (Very fearful) There’s something else, sir. Something I haven’t said.

  SMITH: And what is that?

  HOLMES: She’s afraid that Guttridge knows of her suspicions.

  JENNY: That’s it, sir. He knows I saw him doing it - whatever it was. With the medicines.

  HOLMES: When was this?

  JENNY: Five days ago.

  SMITH: Have you been in to work there since?

  JENNY: Every day. I’d get the elbow otherwise.

  HOLMES: You are a very brave young woman.

  JENNY: Brave? Not me, sir. I’ve been terrified, I tell you straight.

  HOLMES: Has Mr. Guttridge said anything to you? Or done anything suspicious?

  JENNY: No. But I’ve kept away from him best I could.

  SMITH: Very sensible of you. (A moment) My young friend here will look into the matter.

  JENNY: (Gratefully) Oh, sir...

  HOLMES: Smith?

  JENNY: I’m ever so grateful, sir. I had to tell someone - I’m glad it was you.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 24. EXT. OUTSIDE THE BRITISH MUSEUM. NIGHT.

  Quiet traffic, pedestrians.

  SMITH: (Deep breath) Another fine night.

  HOLMES: Why did you say that to the girl?

  SMITH: My dear Mr. Holmes, surely you found the story... interesting?

  HOLMES: Of course. The girl is observant and intelligent, and her suspicions are probably correct.

  SMITH: And she appears to have great faith in your ability to help her. Which I share.

  HOLMES: Thank you. But the fact remains I don’t see what on earth I can do.

  SMITH: You can stir yourself out from behind your books and look into the real world for a change. What sort of detective turns his back on a possible murder case?

  HOLMES: I can hardly march up to this woman’s... establishment and tell her I’m investigating three suspicious deaths.

  SMITH: Of course you can’t. But there are other ways. Put that brain of yours to use.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 25. INT. AN EAST END PUB.

  Full, raucous and a bit frightening. Conversations, arguments, laughter.

  Glass breaks. An ironic cheer goes up.

  Closer, some of the regulars react to an incongruous sight...

  REGULARS: Look what the cat dragged home / Slumming it, are you dearie? / Gordon Bennett, it’s champagne Charlie hisself...

  The object of their attention makes it unscathed to the bar.

  LANDLADY: Good evening sir. What’s your pleasure?

  HOLMES: Whisky, please. And have one yourself.

  LANDLADY: Thank you sir. (Louder, pointedly) Pleasure to encounter a real gent, for a change.

  REGULARS: (Good–natured jeers)

  Holmes fishes out coins as the landlady pours his drink.

  LANDLADY: There. Best in the house.

  HOLMES: Thank you.

  LANDLADY: (Lower) Now sir, what tickles your fancy? Big, skinny, ripe for the plucking, what’re you after?

  HOLMES: What I’m after is information.

  LANDLADY: (Suddenly cagey) What sort of information?

  HOLMES: Do you know a man called Guttridge?

  Cut to:

  SCENE 26. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

  HOLMES: It was a mistake, of course. She shut her mouth and didn’t open it again.

  WATSON: They’re very suspicious of strangers in those parts. Especially ones from up west.

  HOLMES: Yes, so I discovered. It was a stupid miscalculation.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 27. INT. THE READING ROOM, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

  SMITH: Don’t berate yourself. The basic idea was perfectly sound.

  HOLMES: If you want the local gossip go to the local pub. (Ruefully) Just don’t go dressed for the opera.

  SMITH: I trust you didn’t give up the quest quite that easily.

  HOLMES: Of course not. I waited until it was full dark and went round to the house itself.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 28. EXT. OUTSIDE THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE. NIGHT.

  Cripplegate Square is not in a salubrious neighbourhood. Distant raised voices, dogs, perhaps even a muffled scream from well in the distance.

  HOLMES (over): The area wasn’t... pleasant. Guttridge’s Private Orphanage was a rambling old building set back from the street. It must have been quite a place in its day.

  WATSON (over): Didn’t you feel even more conspicuous there than in the pub?

  HOLMES (over): Oddly enough, no I didn’t. Evening wear is ideally suited to hiding in the undergrowth. Every burglar should invest in a set of tails.

  In the scene, the front door opens. Two women emerge.

  WOMAN: (Sobbing)

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Easy now. Easy. She’ll be safe and well–cared for. And you can come and visit her whenever you want, I’ve told you that.

  WOMAN: I don’t think I could bear it. I really don’t.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: I understand. But if you change your mind, there’s always a welcome for you here.

  WOMAN: You’re so kind. Without you, I... I’d have had to...

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Now there’s no sense dwelling on might–have–beens. Will you be all right going home?

  WOMAN: It’s not far. I’ll be quite safe. Oh...

  With a final rush of emotion, she hugs Mrs. Guttridge.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: There, there child. It’s mended. Everything’s all right now.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 29. INT. SMITH’S OFFICE, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

  HOLMES: It was immensely frustrating. I could see in the front door, but I couldn’t learn anything of use. And there was no sign of Mr. Guttridge at all. If I’m going to see this thing through, I need to get inside.

  SMITH: And how exactly do you propose to do that?

  HOLMES: I don’t know yet.

  SMITH: If I might make a small suggestion?

  HOLMES: Please do.

  SMITH: This could be an ideal opportunity to put some of that expensive university experience to good use.

  HOLMES: Applied chemistry?

  SMITH: That wasn’t what I had in mind, no. Try to think in something other than straight lines.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 30. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

  WATSON: So that’s where you got it from.

  HOLM
ES: Watson, you’re interrupting my flow. Got what from?

  WATSON: That infuriating expression. How many times have you told me to stop thinking in straight lines?

  HOLMES: It’s very good advice.

  WATSON: Well, did it work?

  HOLMES: Actually, yes, it did.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 31. EXT. AN EAST END STREET. DAY.

  Holmes is in disguise. He’s a market supervisor - working class but not the lowest rung.

  HOLMES: ‘Scuse me, mate.

  MAN: Yeah?

  HOLMES: I’m looking for Guttridge’s Orphanage. D’you know it?

  Cut to:

  SCENE 32. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

  WATSON: Are you really saying - (that was the first time...)

  Holmes is annoyed at yet another interruption.

  HOLMES: Watson.

  WATSON: Sorry. But this is fascinating. You’re saying that was the very first time you ever used a disguise?

  HOLMES: Exactly so. Thinking sideways, you see? What did I do at university apart from study - I acted.

  WATSON: You’ve never told me that.

  HOLMES: You’ve never asked me. May I continue?

  WATSON: No more interruptions, I promise. What did you find when you got to the orphanage?

  HOLMES: What I expected to find. My primary suspect.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 33. EXT. THE FRONT PORCH, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE. DAY.

  Holmes is still in character.

  GUTTRIDGE: Yes?

  HOLMES: I want to see Mrs. Guttridge.

  GUTTRIDGE: What makes you think she’s here?

  HOLMES: Look, mate, don’t mess me about. This is Guttridge’s Private Orphanage, right? Where else is she going to be?

  GUTTRIDGE: (Very suspicious) Who are you?

  HOLMES: (Less aggressively) I’m someone who wants to see the... proprietor. Look, please.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: (Off, inside) Who is it, Toby?

  GUTTRIDGE: Someone for you.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: (Approaching) Then why didn’t you send Jenny to find me? (She sees Holmes. A moment) Good afternoon.

  HOLMES: Mrs. Guttridge? I was told... Look...

  A moment.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: It’s a chilly day. We’ll be more comfortable inside.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 34. INT. THE PARLOUR, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE.

  Mrs. Guttridge and Holmes sit.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: That’s better. Now, I expect you’d like some tea.

  She rings a small handbell.

  HOLMES: (Hastily) No, that’s all right. Don’t bother on my account.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: It’s no bother.

  She rings again.

  Where is that girl?

  HOLMES: Look, really...

  The door opens. It’s Jenny.

  JENNY: Yes, ma’am?

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Tea please, Jenny. And some of the cherry cake.

  JENNY: Ma’am.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 35. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

  WATSON: Did she recognise you?

  HOLMES: I was sure she would. But no, she didn’t. Quite a boost to my confidence, I can tell you.

  WATSON: It’s not easy to imagine your confidence ever needing a boost.

  HOLMES: It was a long time ago.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 36. INT. THE PARLOUR, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE.

  Mrs. Guttridge is pouring the tea.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Now, Mr...?

  HOLMES: Hawkins, ma’am. Albert Hawkins.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Now, Mr. Hawkins. You drink your tea and I’ll tell you why you’ve come to me.

  HOLMES: Ma’am?

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: There.

  She passes him the tea.

  Both in and out of character, Holmes is a touch nonplussed.

  HOLMES: Thanks. What do you mean, ma’am? You’ll tell me?

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: My dear Mr. Hawkins, people only come here for one reason. The details vary, but the basic facts are always the same. Now let me see... You’re in work, yes?

  HOLMES: Market supervisor.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Decent enough pay but not enough to feed one more mouth. Am I right?

  HOLMES: We’ve got five already. Look, no offence and all, but if there was any other way I wouldn’t be here.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: You’re not alone, Mr. Hawkins. Oh no, you’re definitely not alone. At least you’re not contemplating something more... drastic.

  HOLMES: I’ll have nothing to do with that! And no more will my Elsie. I’ve seen what those butchers do.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: And so have I, I’m sorry to say. We shan’t mention it again. Does your wife know you’re here?

  HOLMES: Oh yes.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Good. Well, we do have space at the moment. Would you like to see round the house?

  HOLMES: I wouldn’t mind. Put my mind at rest, like.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Of course. Drink up your tea and I’ll give you a tour.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 37. INT. A BEDROOM, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE.

  The babies are asleep. Odd noises.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: (Low) You’ve made a good choice, Mr. Hawkins. I never take in more babies than I can cope with, unlike some, I’m sorry to say.

  HOLMES: (Low) We have heard stories, my Else and me.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: And some of them are undoubtedly true, I’m afraid.

  HOLMES: What happens if they get sick?

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: I can care for most common illnesses myself. And of course we’re registered with a local doctor.

  HOLMES: Good. That’s good... And they do look all right, like. Look at ‘em sleeping so peaceful. Happy, and that... (He can’t continue, overcome with emotion)

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Oh, my dear young man. I realize how hard this must be for you.

  HOLMES: Hard? Hard’s not the half of it.

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: Of course it’s not. And nothing I can say to you will ease the pain. But look around you, Mr. Hawkins. These babies are clean and well–fed and content. If I can give your little one those blessings, well, isn’t that better than the life he’ll face outside these walls?

  HOLMES: Yeah. Yeah, it is. Course it is. (A moment) So - I suppose all I need to know now... Well... (He trails off)

  MRS. GUTTRIDGE: I think there’s still some cherry cake downstairs. We can discuss the practicalities over some more tea. Come along.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 38. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

  HOLMES: “The practicalities” turned out to be three-pence a day or a single payment of five pounds.

  WATSON: (A whistle)

  HOLMES: Yes, it was certainly more than the going rate, I checked. But it was a superior establishment.

  WATSON: How many working class women could afford five pounds?

  HOLMES: Well, when you consider the alternatives...

  WATSON: I’m afraid the alternatives are the only way for most people in that position. Something’s going to have to be done, you know. Sooner or later.

  HOLMES: I agree. But we are straying somewhat from the story.

  WATSON: Sorry. Did you manage to see that medicine store room?

  HOLMES: It would have been too out of character, I’m afraid. But I did at least succeed in getting another look at the alleged child–killer. He was summoned to show me out.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 39. INT. THE HALLWAY, THE GUTTRIDGE HOUSE.

  Holmes and Guttridge approach.

  HOLMES: Your wife’s a wonderful woman, Mr. Guttridge.

  GUTTRIDGE: So I’m constantly being told.

&n
bsp; HOLMES: You must be proud of her.

  GUTTRIDGE: There are perhaps... nobler ways to make a living.

  HOLMES: I can’t think of any. She’s a real Godsend, she is.

  Guttridge opens the front door.

  GUTTRIDGE: Do you say so.

  HOLMES: (Leaving) I do, sir. God bless her - and you too.

  GUTTRIDGE: Good day to you, Mr. Hawkins.

  He shuts the door.

  (Breathes deeply)

  Cut to:

  SCENE 40. INT. SMITH’S OFFICE, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

  HOLMES: There’s a definite undercurrent of... I’m not sure - hate, possibly. Weariness, distaste... But I’m not prepared to brand him as a murderer on the strength of it.

  SMITH: I’m pleased to hear it.

  HOLMES: I have to know what’s in that medicine store.

  SMITH: And how do you propose to find out?

  HOLMES: I’ve thought of two separate ways. Neither of them is ideal. One is positively illegal.

  SMITH: And the other?

  Cut to:

  SCENE 41. INT. A GALLERY, THE BRITISH MUSEUM.

  Open and echoing.

  JENNY: No! I can’t!

  HOLMES: Jenny...

  JENNY: Suppose he catches me?

  HOLMES: I’ll make sure he’s out of the way.

  JENNY: But I wouldn’t know what to look for.

  HOLMES: I’ll give you a list.

  JENNY: A list? Oh, sir... What good’s a list to me?

  HOLMES: (Realising) You can’t read.

  JENNY: Nor write. No, sir, I can’t.

  Cut to:

  SCENE 42. INT. THE SITTING ROOM, 221b BAKER STREET.

  WATSON: Thank God for it. Holmes, what the devil were you thinking of?

  HOLMES: Collington Smith used exactly those words.

  WATSON: Good for him. To put that child into danger...

  HOLMES: I had a perfectly foolproof diversion worked out.

  WATSON: Did you.

  HOLMES: (A sigh) As I said, it was a long time ago. I wouldn’t do it now.

  WATSON: Unless there was no other way.

  HOLMES: The point is academic. I had to fall back on my second plan of attack.

  WATSON: The illegal one.

  HOLMES: Quite.

  WATSON: I know exactly what it was.

  HOLMES: Of course you do.

  Cut to: