by Lylah James
Instead of doing just that, I took a step away. And another. I kept moving back until the door was against my back.
An act of rebellion meant more pain. Not just for me.
So I didn’t let my anger out. I reined it in, deep inside of me, locking it there, hiding it. With another glance, I walked out of the bathroom and into my bedroom again.
My eyes moved around the bedroom, everything polished and perfect. Except the bed.
Taking a deep breath, I fixed it and made it perfect—just like everything.
The sun shone into the room, bathing it with warmth. I craved to feel it on my skin yet here I was, trapped inside with just a glimpse.
I shook the thought from my head before taking my wool and knitting materials in my hand. Sitting on the chair that faced the window, I started knitting.
A shawl for my sister.
The closet to my left was filled with them. Shawls with different colors. Different patterns. All for my sister. And every night I dreamed of giving them to her—a token of my love. To show her my love without being able to say the words.
To silently tell her that she was my heart and how I wished I could have hugged her one last time.
Every day I missed her. But every day I was thankful that it was me, not her. Every day I sent a silent prayer and thanked God that Valentin chose me.
At least then my little sister could live a normal life. A happy life.
My gaze moved across the room, where the nightstand stood beside the bed. I smiled, knowing what was in the drawer.
A photo of her. Her beautiful smile. Her twinkling eyes. The sun shining on her face as she stared into the camera.
But then I lost that smile, when I remembered how I got the photo.
Another nightmare. Another day spent with the Devil.
Every year he would show me a picture of my family—for me to see that they were happy and healthy. To show my sacrifice was not for nothing.
And every year, I only had five minutes to stare at those pictures before they were ripped away from my hands, never to be seen again.
I only had five minutes to see my family. I only had five minutes to see their smiles.
But a few years ago, one look at my happy sister, I couldn’t let her go. Five minutes wasn’t enough.
So I begged. I begged so much. So hard. I cried, my cheeks pressed against his feet, begging. My heart cracked open as I hoped for his mercy.
But every gift meant that something was taken away from me. That night, I gave him my submission willingly so he could let me keep my sister. I submitted, gave him my body and soul.
He asked me to suck his cock; I did. He came into my mouth, his cum dripping down my body as he watched in depraved lust. He marked my body with his filth, branding me as his slave.
He asked me to open my legs wide so he could fuck me; I did. I spread them open and welcomed him into my body.
He asked me to parade around his friends with his cum dripping down between my legs; I did as I was commanded.
He asked me to be on my knees as he fucked my ass raw, and I went on my knees just like he wanted. While he fucked me again, causing me to cry out in pain, his friends shot their cum on my skin.
Their moans and groans could still be heard in my ears as if it was just minutes ago. Their laughter was haunting, just like my broken cries were melodious to them.
That night, I let my husband do every depraved thing he wanted to my body. I let him abuse me—I let him own me, willingly.
That night, I became what he wanted. A disgusting whore. A filthy slave. A pet who did as she was commanded.
But it was all worth it in the end. Because by early morning, when he had enough fun, he left the room.
Not before throwing my sister’s picture next to my ravaged, broken body.
I remembered holding it in my hand so gently as I caressed her face. It was mine to keep. I had fought for it, and I won.
The drawer kept my sister safe, and I smiled yet again.
I miss you.
I continued knitting while dreaming that one day, one day I would be united with her. With my family.
One day, I would be able to give her these shawls.
One day, I would no longer hold a picture, but I would hold her in my arms.
Chapter 10
Viktor
Maila poked my cheek, her lips pursing out in concentration. “Hi.”
“Hi,” I replied, trying to hold back my laughter.
“Hi.”
I nodded when she poked my cheek again. “Hi.”
“Hi.”
“Hiiii.” She dragged it out, almost slapping me in the face with her excitement.
We had been at it for about thirty minutes, and she was still stuck on “Hi.” I wasn’t complaining one fucking bit. At least she was talking to me and not crying her heart out.
After I spent almost two days trying to gain her trust, she finally felt comfortable enough to let me hold her while her mother wasn’t in the same room.
Mission accomplished.
Her Royal Highness was now on Uncle Viktor’s side. Fuck yeah!
Let’s do some dirty dancing in our heads, shall we?
“Is she still playing the Hi game with you?”
Ayla walked into the room. She smiled, her eyes going straight to her daughter. Maila bounced on my lap at the sight of her mother.
I grabbed hold of her when she tried to reach out to Ayla. “Careful there,” I mumbled. Her tiny body was held close to my chest for a second, breathing in her sweet baby scent before handing her over to Ayla.
Not before I caught Ayla’s scent on Maila. It was mixed with the baby smell, and I closed my eyes, holding this moment close to my chest.
“I have to put her to bed,” Ayla muttered. “Is it okay if I take her away?”
I nodded with a tight smile. “Yeah. She seems a little worn out. Wouldn’t want the potato to lose her beauty sleep.”
Ayla laughed while rocking Maila in her arms. The little one was already yawning before cuddling closer to her mother’s chest.
“Are you ever going to stop calling her that, Viktor? I can imagine her wanting to rip your hair off when she’s fifteen and you’re still calling her potato,” she said quietly.
“Never. She is forever my potato Princess.” I winked before standing up. I wrapped them both in my arms, holding them in my embrace before letting them go, far too quickly for my liking.
I tried to clear the stupid fucking thoughts from my head—the ones that whispered in my ears like the Devil they were. Always taunting me. Pulling and pushing me in the wrong fucking direction.
Every time, I had to fight the urge to succumb to the Devil’s taunting. I could feel the tip of its tongue flicking against my ear, whispering, laughing.
I stared at Ayla and she gave me a sweet smile, oblivious to the effect she had on me. Clearing my throat, I glanced at the open doors. “I have to go. Alessio called for a meeting,” I finally said.
She nodded mutely, her eyes now on Maila. A sign of dismissal. Taking a deep breath, and with a final look toward the woman who had been haunting me for months, I walked away.
It was the best I could do. Walk away. Walk in the opposite direction because she was already taken. A wife and a mother.
A heavy heart was hard to bear, but in my situation, it meant nothing, because I couldn’t let my heart control my actions. My mind and my dick were in my favour right now.
And I needed to fuck someone—fuck Ayla out of my system.
Find a new tight pussy and a new obsession.
Maybe I’ll fuck a redhead this time. Or a blondie. Whoever is willing.
The doors to Alessio’s office were open, and I walked inside before closing them behind me.
Everyone was there, including the mafia daddies. Oh, how fucking sweet. I rolled my eyes at the look they gave me.
“Happy to see me, Father dearest?” I asked with raised eyebrows. “Surprised I’m still alive?
I should be thanking for you for that, by the way.”
He shook his head before leveling me with a glare. I didn’t give a fuck. I was in this stupid, fucked-up mess because of him.
Because he couldn’t keep his dick away from a willing pussy.
I paused at the thought. Oh well, like father, like son. Fuck my life.
“Are you ever going to let this go?” he asked, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall.
I shrugged at the question. “Let it go? Ha. Maybe in a few hundred…years? Give or take.”
“Viktor—” Lyov started, but Alessio cut him off.
“Don’t start, old man. You’re just as guilty.”
“It seems you two have forgotten who Isaak and I are. You might be the Boss now, Alessio. But that doesn’t mean I’m powerless. You make it so fucking difficult not to blow your brains out,” Lyov hissed.
And the glaring contest has started. A—fucking—gain.
“And make Maila fatherless? Ayla a widow?” Alessio asked, just chilling in his chair like his father didn’t just threaten him. Oh, you know. Just the daily life of the Ivanshov family.
Lyov’s mouth snapped shut, and Alessio held back a smirk. “I didn’t think so.”
“Why do you two make everything so difficult? Why go against us on every step?” Isaak muttered. “We’re trying to help!”
“You have helped enough, Isaak,” I quickly cut in.
He growled, taking a step forward. “I am done with your disrespect, boy. This ends here or I will be forced to take you down, got it? Don’t embarrass yourself in front of your brothers.”
Game on, Father.
His eyes sparked in warning and anger. When I took a step forward, he snapped.
Moving forward in a flash, his fist made contact with my face before I could move. He grabbed me by the throat, slamming me into the wall. I winced at the impact but stayed stubbornly quiet.
Whatever he believed, and the disrespect I pushed his way, I wasn’t going to raise my hands on my father. Call me a pussy and make me wear a fucking pink tutu, at least I knew when to draw a line.
His fingers tightened around my throat, but I didn’t give him the satisfaction of wincing again. I bore the pain and stared straight into his eyes. “This isn’t going to make me submit…” I strained to get the words out.
His hold loosened just a little, giving me enough space to talk without choking me. “You fucked up and now I’m paying for it. Before I was even born, you messed up my life.”
At my words, he lost the angry demeanor. His expression turned almost sorrowful. “I didn’t think it would come to this. If I knew what I was doing then, I would have stopped. I would never fuck up your life willingly, son. Believe me or not, if I had a choice, I would have protected you from this stupid game.”
He let me go and took a step back. The regret in his voice couldn’t be mistaken, and for a moment I forgot my anger too.
Isaak shook his head, his eyes staring down at his feet for a moment before his hard stare pinned me against the wall again. “But we are too deep into this shit—and we have no choice. To protect those we care about, we make sacrifices. And this is a sacrifice you have to make. I’m just sorry that my past brought you to this path.”
When I remembered the shit hole I had to crawl back into, the anger came back. Ten times worse.
His past fucked up my future, and now I was an unwilling piece in this game. Some days I was the pawn and others, I was the knight. A slave and then a fighter.
“Because of you, now Solonik thinks he owns me. He thinks I am someone he can use. All because of you, Isaak. If you’re looking for forgiveness, you aren’t getting it,” I mumbled.
I moved away from the wall and turned my attention to Alessio, who was watching the scene silently, his face void of any emotions.
“You are leaving tomorrow,” he said when Isaak didn’t reply.
I nodded, my back straightening at his order. “Get back to Solonik and do whatever you have to do. Make him believe you, play the cards carefully, and when the time is right, he will fall and we will rise yet again.”
Alessio looked thoughtful for a moment, but he didn’t say anything. I knew whatever he was thinking was another fucked up plan. He loved games, and he never did anything without a back-up plan.
“Back to the hell hole, huh?” Phoenix muttered from the other side of the room.
“Couldn’t have said it better,” I agreed.
Alessio’s expression didn’t change. No sympathy whatsoever. One minute he was a caring brother, but he could be a heartless son of a bitch when he wanted.
Speaking of being a heartless bastard…there was a big fucking loophole here.
“Why is Ayla not pissed off or surprised that I’m alive? Actually, Maddie doesn’t seem that surprised either,” I asked.
Alessio closed his eyes before resting his head back against his chair.
“Oh! That’s a story you would want to know. Epic, man!” Phoenix laughed. Even Nikolay was smiling—or half smiling—well, smiling in his standards.
“Fuck you,” Alessio snapped, his eyes still closed. If I knew better, he was probably hoping a hole would open and swallow him whole.
Well, that was new.
“Ayla heard us talking a few months ago. She was spying behind the door,” Alessio started. “When I went back to our room, she confronted me. I couldn’t lie anymore. It was no use. She already heard us talking.”
“Tell him what happened afterwards,” Phoenix pushed, still laughing like a fucking hyena.
“Shethrewavaseatme.”
“Huh?” I asked, not understanding a word he said during his gibberish.
“She threw a fucking vase at my head!”
Cue. Laughing like a hyena.
“He has a scar to prove it,” Lyov jumped in. His face was red as he tried to hold in his laughter too. “It’s close to his hair line, so it’s hidden.”
“Ayla threw a vase at your head?” I asked again, not believing them.
He shook his head, finally opening his eyes. Alessio threw everyone a glare, effectively shutting them down. “Her…umm…hormones have been a little off since she became pregnant again. I don’t know if today is the day she cries her eyes out every minute, or she wants to kill me or she suddenly decides that I am the perfect husband.”
Ah. Now everything made sense.
“Like yesterday?”
“Exactly.”
“She even kicked him out of their room,” Phoenix mumbled in between.
“If you don’t shut up, I will shoot your ass—then you and Viktor will have matching holes!”
Speaking of holes in our asses…
“Why the fuck did you shoot me in the ass, you fucking bastard?” I finally exploded. “That wasn’t part of the plan.”
Alessio cleared his throat and then shrugged. “I just wanted to know how it felt to shoot someone in the ass. Trust me, it felt so fucking good. You should try it sometimes. Stress reliever.”
His words were met with silence.
“We should go to…sleep,” Lyov intervened when nobody said anything.
Nikolay and Phoenix nodded, while I stood there—contemplating if I should take Alessio’s advice. Maybe I should shoot him in the ass too. Great fucking stress reliever.
Isaak started to make his way out but not before he stopped by me. “It was a mistake, Viktor. I’m sorry you’re in this mess now because of a mistake I made years ago,” he whispered.
“A mistake? A fucking mistake?” I growled.
“It was an accident,” he snapped back when I didn’t accept his stupid apologies.
“Oh, like you accidentally slip out of one sister’s pussy and end up accidentally dipping into the other’s? Wow, very accidental, I would say.”
He made a frustrated sound at the back of his throat, and I was tempted to ruffle his feathers more. So, I did.
Turning around, I faced him head on. “Next time, remember not to dip
your dick into sisters’ pussies. Or better yet, don’t dip it into the enemy’s sisters’ pussies!”
He scratched the back of his head, his hands curling into fists. I bet he wanted to take a swing at me now. But I wasn’t finished yet.
I took a menacing step forward, but I was still a foot away from Isaak. My voice came out harsher than I wanted, but I didn’t give a fuck. “Now that you have fucked Solonik’s sister and I am the outcome of that, he sees me as his heir. How fucking awesome is that, huh, Father dearest? I am next in line for the family who wants to destroy us.”
“Okay, that’s enough!” Alessio finally said.
“So yeah, next time, keep your tiny di—” I finished off.
That got his attention well. “Fuck you. It’s a python.”
“Ha. Mine is an anaconda.”
“Are you guys comparing your dicks?”
All of us swiveled around to see Evaline standing by the door. Great. Just what we needed. Another person added to the drama.
She walked forward nonchalantly. Evaline stopped beside Nikolay, throwing him a wink. And she smacked his ass.
Wait what?
“What’s your size?” she asked, loud enough for the room to hear. Nikolay’s eyes widened in horror, and I took a step forward.
Hell to the no.
Not happening. Never ever.
“What size?”
Another voice joined in, and I rolled my eyes. What the fuck was this? A circus?
Ayla walked in, her eyes instantly going to Alessio’s.
“Oh, they’re just comparing their dick sizes,” my dear sister replied. I am going to permanently shut you up if you don’t stop talking!
Ayla blushed, her cheeks reddening as she made her way to Alessio. “Oh.”
“Ayla, what’s Alessio’s size, by the way?” Evaline asked. What the fuckity fuck?
Ayla’s blushed deepened. “Huh?” she sputtered.
Alessio was already backpedaling. He wrapped an arm around Ayla’s waist, pulling her away from the chaos. “That’s it. I’m taking my wife out.”