Dark Surrender

by Rachel Van Dyken

  I WONDERED IF he understood that even now, even without him trying, people were staring, the barista was fanning herself, and I could have sworn the flowers outside the window weren’t plastered against the glass when we originally walked in.

  Some things never changed.

  Alex had been talking for hours.

  It took everything in me not to interrupt his words with kisses. His mouth moved, and I focused, I really did, because what he was saying was important. But he was talking about us, and when he talked about us, our past, the past I’d been forced to forget… I was also forced to remember all the times that he refused to take me.

  “Why?” I interrupted when I couldn’t take it anymore. “You had me. I loved you. Love you,” I corrected. “Why wouldn’t you make love to me? You hurt me when you went to other women. A part of me understands that you felt tarnished, unworthy but—”

  “Hope.” His eyes lit up. “You still don’t understand.” Warm hands reached for mine. I let out a little breath as he brushed his fingertips down my skin. “I wanted you every second of the day, but to use you in that way, to take your essence, your energy, every part of you for my own selfish needs — I couldn’t fathom doing that to someone so innocent, so pure.”

  “And now?” I gulped.

  His smile turned lethal. “Now, I’m going to make up for a few hundred years and lock you in my room.”

  “But I get bathroom breaks like a normal weak little human right? And you’ll feed me?” I teased.

  “If you’re good.” He shrugged teasingly. “I may even let you take a bat to the timer…”

  I scowled. “That was an asinine thing to do, just saying.”

  “At the time it seemed the smartest thing to do, piss you off, keep you away from me… again.” He shook his head as pieces of rainbow hair fell across his sculpted cheekbones. “It seems I have a really nasty habit of letting my own insecurity decide what’s best for both of us.”

  Staring at him and only touching him, was basically killing me slowly. Because with every touch, I was reminded of the other touches, the kisses, the times he told me he loved me, the laughter we shared weeks before we were going to go to my real parents and tell them about our relationship.

  Weeks before my mother was slaughtered and my werewolf father was found dead in an alley.

  “Two hours.” Alex released me and took one last sip of coffee and stood. “I gave you two hours of talking and no sex. Basically, you almost just killed me, so if you don’t mind, I’d like to get you naked.”

  My erratic heartbeat was clearly on board. I nodded my head dumbly and stood, only to hear the damn bell go off on the door.

  “There you are!” Mason shouted, running toward me and pulling me into his arms. “I missed my best friend.”

  Alex groaned.

  Mason ignored him.

  “I loved your hands.” Mason said in gruff voice. “I knew it felt familiar. We were inseparable until a narcissistic siren caught your eye.”

  “Thanks,” Alex said from behind me.

  Mason continued ignoring him. “He asked about you… we were dancing together at one of those horrible dinner parties and he heard your laugh first, and then saw you second. I always thought it was peculiar that a siren would be attracted to laughter before he even saw the woman it was attached to.” Mason finally looked at Alex as he set me back on my feet. “You wanted her soul first, you just didn’t know it.”

  Alex gaped.

  Mason shrugged. “That is love.”

  “If you start crying I’m going to punch you.” Alex said in a hoarse voice.

  Mason held out his hand. “I would have helped you.”

  Alex tilted his head, “Helped me?”

  “I would have helped you back then, helped you go to the council, helped you talk to the remaining elves. I knew you loved her even if you were too afraid to admit it.”

  “I was never afraid.”

  “Yes, you were.” Mason and I said in unison.

  “Not afraid,” Alex corrected, “More like terrified that she’d finally see what I was capable of and walk away.”

  “Hate to break it to you, but we’ve all seen that scary as hell shit, and look, still friends. This reminds me of when King Lion—”

  “NOPE!” Alex cupped his ears with his hands. “Our lives are not Disney movies.”

  “But they could be!” Mason said in a teasing tone and then winked at me. I knew he was just trying to mess with Alex, as per usual.

  The bell above the door rang again.

  Cassius waltzed in, his wings tucked away from human sight.

  “Seriously?” Alex looked toward the ceiling. “Must everyone interrupt us before—”

  Cassius crossed his arms.

  “—tag.” Mason finished. “Before a rousing game of tag.”

  “Tag, my ass.” Ethan said behind Cassius followed by Stephanie and finally Genesis.

  “Alex!” Genesis surged forward. “I’m so glad you’re okay! Also, there are a few stray dogs outside. I think they want to…” She blushed.

  “Hell.” Ethan pinched the bridge of his nose.

  “Why is everyone here?” I asked, since Alex looked too irritated to say anything more.

  “Family.” Cassius shrugged. “We’re a family.”

  I glanced around as my throat swelled.

  We were dysfunctional.

  But he was right.

  This was my family.

  It always had been.

  Always would be.

  The bell clanged again.

  I sucked in a breath as Timber slowly walked past everyone and stopped in front of me.

  Alex bit back a curse.

  “My Queen.” Timber’s blue eyes flickered with appreciation. “Personal bodyguard at your service.”

  “I can protect her,” Alex pointed out.

  “I’m well aware of that.” Timber eyed him over my shoulder. “But it’s an honor to be in her service.”

  “Listen if anyone is servicing—”

  “Thanks, Timber.” I pulled him in for a quick hug, ignoring Alex’s sexual innuendo. “Why don’t we all go home?”

  Amidst nods and chatter, I reached for Alex’s hand and squeezed.

  “Home.” He sighed. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to a hotel?”

  “I’ve been waiting my whole life to be in your bed,” I admitted. “I just didn’t know it until recently, so no, I don’t want to go to some random hotel like a normal horny human couple. I want to be in your arms, on your sheets, sliding against—”

  His mouth found mine with ferocity as he tugged me into his arms and lifted me off the ground.

  In the hazy distance, I heard something from Cassius and suddenly I was back at Ethan’s with Alex.

  I stumbled back. “What just happened?”

  Alex grabbed for me again. “Archangel party trick. He’s here all week, yay. Come back here.” With a groan, he surrounded me with his arms then had my shirt over my head, my pants a torn pool at my feet. “I’ve been waiting to claim you for hundreds of years,” he whispered against my lips.

  “But—” His mouth was amazing. “We’ve already had sex.”

  “Yes.” His hot lips trailed kisses down my neck. “But we’ve never made love.”

  Had I not already been in love with him then — that would have sealed the deal. As tears filled my eyes, he lifted me into his arms and placed me gently on the bed, then kissed me.

  And kissed.

  And kissed.

  He kissed my body until I lost track of time.

  Until my body ached for more.

  And when I cried out for him.

  He kept kissing.

  He worshipped with his mouth, he pleasured with his hands, and he did it over and over again.

  Sex with Alex had been out of this world.

  Making love with Alex — was going to alter my world.

  Then again, that was what love did, wasn’t it?

 
Alex

  NOBODY WOULD EVER accuse me of being a patient person.

  I was selfish.

  Narcissistic.

  I was a lot of things.

  But with Hope — I felt different, like I was finally able to take my time kissing the spot where her neck met her collarbone. Suddenly, it was okay to take my time because I loved her — because it wasn’t about finding release and gaining more power.

  Power I had.

  Love — I needed.

  Desperately.

  I knew I was changed — knew that since I’d reached my full potential and recognized my powers — that my job was to give.

  Not to take.

  So I gave.

  I gave her everything.

  I laid down every freaking part of my body and soul at her feet and gave more.

  “I have loved you… for as long as I remember.” Tears pricked my eyes as I realized the intensity behind my words; they shook with truth. Thank God Sariel had thought ahead.

  I stopped kissing her briefly, my thoughts focused on Sariel, maybe, just maybe he saw this future.

  Maybe he saw my potential.

  Maybe he saw what it would be when I had a mate.

  I had to believe that his death on this human plane meant something.

  And with Hope in my arms — I did.

  I believed that sometimes death had to occur for new life to begin.

  “Children,” I blurted finding her mouth. “I want loads of cranky, whiny children with rainbow hair.”

  Hope laughed against my mouth. “Then we better get started, don’t you think?”

  “I don’t care if they’re elves,” I whispered reverently, running my hands down her naked body. “I don’t care if they make cookies.” She burst out laughing, “Or if they live in a shoe.”

  “I didn’t have my old memories!” Her laughter was infectious. “I didn’t know!”

  “It was adorable.”

  “It was not.”

  “I fell in love with you twice, you know.” I cupped her face between my hands. “Hundreds of years ago, I fell in love with you — and a week ago, the process started all over again. I think I could live through several lifetimes, searching for you, only to find you and fall in love all over again.”

  Tears welled in her eyes.

  “But luckily we don’t have to worry about that.” I brushed another feather-light kiss across her lips.

  “I love you, Alex.”

  “I love you too.”

  We stopped talking.

  Our bodies moved in sync as I did my best to pleasure her, to feel every part of her, to make sure that she understood — I was giving.

  Not taking.

  I gave until I had nothing left.

  And she took.

  With each pulse between our bodies, I gave a little bit more, until I was spent.

  Until day turned to night, and night turned to day again.

  Until our sweaty bodies were too exhausted to make it to the door.

  Until the sheets fell from the mattress and the bed threatened to break.

  I gave it all.

  And for the first time in my existence, when I woke up with sunlight streaming across our naked bodies.

  I didn’t burn.

  I was free.

  Mason

  “I KNOW…” CASSIUS had been trying to have a heart-to-heart with me ever since Alex and Hope disappeared into their room a week ago — I’d brought food to their door.

  I wanted my friend to eat.

  Even if Alex didn’t care about anything but sex.

  She at least needed nutrition that wasn’t a part of licking his sweat off his body.

  I shuddered at the thought.

  A small pinprick of jealousy accompanied it. I shoved it away as hard and fast as possible.

  For a brief moment, I’d felt what they’d felt.

  And it was — everything.

  Another painful reminder that I would never have that.

  I’d always felt close to Hope and now I knew why. She’d been my best friend, and I her protector. As a wolf it had been my job to be by her side day and night — until she made her choice and that choice ended up being the very thing I was to protect her from. Anyone who would use her body without wanting her soul.

  So basically, a soul sucking siren. As the last of her race, and royalty, she was the only elf alive that could reproduce and have children without dying. It was a waste to do that with a man who wanted nothing but sex.

  And yet? All I heard from the upstairs bedroom was Alex doing his damnedest to make sure she was pregnant before sunrise. Leave it to a sex obsessed siren to be partially in charge of rebuilding an entire race of elves. I hated admitting it, but if anyone could do it, it would be him.

  Another crashing sound emitted from upstairs, sending my hair on edge.

  Years ago he would have destroyed the blue light within her.

  And now? Now he was fanning it.

  No wonder Sariel kept her in a deep slumber.

  Because finally, Alex loved someone more than himself, and as the strongest siren in the world — he alone could give his essence and create something powerful — something good.

  I growled as I swiped a pine cone off the table and chucked it in the air, only to nearly hit Cassius in the face.

  He caught the pine cone, twisted it to the side and sighed. “This war is not over.” Cassius tried again. “I still need you to mate.”

  And there it was.

  “I need more time.” I stared down at my furry hands. It seemed the longer I waited, the harder it was to stay in human form; it was easier to let myself go, easier to regress, easier to sleep under a tree rather than in my bed, easier to forget to eat then to hunt.

  “Mason!” Cassius roared, I jerked out of my seat and stood on my haunches ready to attack. “Either pick a mate, or I’ll do it for you.”

  I sucked in a sharp breath. “You wouldn’t.”

  “I would.” He hissed, his wings fanned out behind him. The purple and blue feathers shuddered as if shaking themselves at me, judging me. “So what’s it going to be?”

  “I need more time. I can’t think, I—”

  His eyes went white.

  And then all hell broke loose as Ethan charged into the house with a bloody body in his arms. “She’s been hurt.”

  “Who is she?”

  “Vampire. Young.” He shook his head. “I’ve done all I can, she was dropped off at the front gate, it looks like someone tried to suck her dry and left her for dead.”

  “Mason.” Cassius nodded at me. “Do your job.”

  “Of course.” My job, I could do. Healing I could do. I reached down and pressed my hand against her forehead as I licked around the wounds, cleaning the sweet-tasting vampire blood and sealing every wound closed. Normally I hated their taste, it was too much of a sugar rush — and I was used to dirt, pinecones, berries. But her? She tasted like — life. When I was finished, I took a step back to survey my work careful to keep my reaction completely indifferent.

  The woman’s hand shot out and grabbed my arm. “You.”

  I quickly glanced to Cassius who had the brightest smile I’d ever seen on his face in all the years I’d known him.

  “You bastard!” I roared.

  “I guess I’ll just leave you to it.” Cassius shrugged and walked off.

  Ethan gaped at the two of us. “But she’s a vampire.”

  “Because that wasn’t obvious!” I yelled.

  He looked between us, then smiled, barely managing to cover said smile with his hand before he coughed and then slapped me twice on the back. “Yeah, good luck with that.”

  Cursing, I returned my attention to the woman, who still held me in a viselike grip, ready to scare her off, fight her if need be.

  Instead, she released her hold, her green eyes flashing. “You look like my first puppy…” She passed out on the table.

  And I was left wondering… if she’d been trying to
insult me on purpose.

  Or just didn’t realize that a wolf never wanted to be compared to a dog.

  “Hell,” I muttered, transforming back to my human form. “Thanks for nothing, Cassius.”

  Laughter echoed in my head.

  Sometimes, I hated that guy.

  RACHEL VAN DYKEN is the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and USA Today Bestselling author of regency and contemporary romances. When she's not writing you can find her drinking coffee at Starbucks and plotting her next book while watching The Bachelor.

  She keeps her home in Idaho with her Husband, adorable son, and two snoring boxers! She loves to hear from readers!

  Want to be kept up to date on new releases? Text MAFIA to 66866!

  You can connect with her on Facebook or join her fan group Rachel's New Rockin Readers. And make sure to check out her website.

  I am SO thankful to God that I'm able to write day in and day out, this is seriously such a passion for me! My poor husband never complains when I have crazy deadlines, which this year has been filled with them! And my friends are so understanding when I’m like sorry dudes gotta go kill a vampire! ;) Thanks to Jill for not killing me when I was behind on this book and needed to finish it, and thank you SO MUCH for all your hard work with it! You are the best!!! To my rockin’ readers, the only reason I even wrote this series was because you guys said you would read it, and one book has now turned into five, ugh, let’s blame Molly McAdams for the reason Timber just HAS to have a book now! *shakes fist* Thank you to all of the bloggers and reviewers for being so amazing as I switch genres, and my publishers — thank you for letting me do my own thing every once in a while, it's always so refreshing and fun!

  If you want to hang out with me, join Rachel’s New Rockin’ Readers, loads of awesome book talk takes place in there or you can follow me on instagram @RachVD don't forget to join my newsletter here and thank you so much for your support!

  HUGS,

  RVD

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