Kings of Mayhem (The Kings of Mayhem Book 1)

by Penny Dee

  “I want to kiss you,” he whispered.

  The gentleness in his voice tugged at my heart.

  “Cade. . .” I breathed his name, but my own yearning cut me off, taking up a pulse at the very core of me.

  “I know you’re not mine but you should be.”

  “Please. . .”

  He held me even tighter, his body hard and enticing, stealing the strength from me so I couldn’t pull away. I longed for his touch and the wine in me told me it was a good idea.

  “Tell me you didn’t think about us when you watched Jacob and Mirabella become man and wife. Tell me you have no regrets.”

  “Don’t do this,” I pleaded. “Let’s just enjoy tonight.”

  His lips brushed my throat. “Tell me there is a chance for us.”

  Before I could reply, Joker bumped into us and slung his arms around our shoulders.

  “Bitches . . .” he cried. Too much bourbon had taken its toll on him and it wasn’t even seven o’clock. “Let’s dance! Whoa!”

  I saw my chance to escape and I took it. I pulled away from Cade and walked off the dance floor leaving him to untangle himself from Joker.

  Sitting down at one of the tables I poured myself a big glass of wine. I needed it. My heart was hopping all over the place. I downed it in three gulps and quickly poured another. I felt myself being pulled toward Cade and I couldn’t stop. I had spent too long running from my past. Now it had caught up with me and was all up in my face, forcing me to look at what I had left behind. And that was all of this. All of these people.

  And Cade.

  Sometime between running away and now, I had forgiven him. He was a good guy. Yes, he had broken my heart. But it was time to let it go. Move on. My heart was healed. I could leave Destiny knowing I was free of all the angst I had dragged around with me for twelve years.

  Yet the idea of leaving was no longer as appealing as it had been.

  I glanced over to where Cade had sat down. Mirabella’s sister, Cora, was talking to him and must have asked him to dance because he rose from his chair and followed her onto the dance floor. When he took her by the hips, she curled her arms around his neck and crushed her body up against his. Something close to possessiveness raced through me. I could live a million years and never be okay with seeing him in the arms of another woman. I looked away and drained my glass. Stupid heart. Staying the extra week had been a mistake. It was making me feel things I had buried a long time ago.

  When I glanced back at them, Cora was looking up at Cade with starry-eyed affection.

  Oh Christ. She didn’t just want to fuck him. She had a crush on him.

  “She’s always had a thing for him,” Mirabella said, sitting down next to me. “But he’s never shown any interest in her.”

  “Until now.” I went to take a sip, but my glass was empty. Leaning forward, I refilled it from the open bottle on the table.

  “Oh, that’s nothing. He’s just being sweet, is all.” Mirabella’s beautiful brown eyes found mine. “I’m sure it would be different if you were out there dancing with him.”

  “We’re not together,” I said.

  “He’s in love with you.” Mirabella leaned in so her shoulder nudged mine. “And I think you’re a little bit in love with him, too.”

  I didn’t get a chance to respond because Jacob appeared beside us with an open bottle of champagne in his hand, asking his wife to dance.

  “You and I are going to continue this conversation soon, okay?” she said with a broad smile as her giant man of a husband swept her away.

  I watched them on the dance floor. Jacob and Mirabella’s love was a once-in-a-lifetime thing. They were a perfect match and I couldn’t help but feel envious. Theirs would last. Mine was already over.

  Abby sat down in the chair Mirabella had just vacated.

  “They look great together, don’t they?” she said, talking about the bride and groom.

  “They’re the best,” I said, trying not to look at Cade and Cora still out on the dance floor. I took a mouthful of wine but felt Abby’s eyes on me. “What?”

  “I can’t believe it,” she said.

  “What can’t you believe?”

  “How much of a coward you are.”

  I looked at her. “Gee, Abby. Why don’t you say what you really mean?”

  It was the second time in a week someone had called me a coward and I was beginning to see a trend. Unfortunately, somewhere deep inside I knew they were right.

  She shrugged. “You asked.”

  “Okay, I’ll bite. Why are you calling me a coward?”

  “Because you still have feelings for him, yet here you are, sitting here like a wallflower as another woman crawls all over him.” She poured herself a glass of wine. “You know, the old Indy wouldn’t put up with another woman pawing her man.”

  “Yeah, well, the old Indy grew up.”

  “I don’t think so. I think she is in there somewhere. Begging to crawl out and go and get her man.”

  “Don’t hold your breath.”

  We were quiet for a moment, both watching Cade trying to keep Cora at arm’s length.

  It was Abby who broke the silence. And just like I suspected, she wasn’t going to let it rest.

  “Boy, you were wild once,” she said, bumping her shoulder to mine. “Wild Indy Parrish. Fearless and as cool as a cucumber. The original Nature’s Child.”

  “I don’t even know what that means.”

  “You’re kidding, right?” She looked at me like I was crazy. “Steppenwolf? Born To Be Wild? Like a true nature’s child . . .”

  I laughed. “And now?”

  She looked at me, her eyebrows raised. “Now . . . not so much.”

  I looked away and sighed. “We’ve all got to grow up sometime, Abby.”

  “Yeah, but it’s not just that. You’re so grown up and . . .”

  My eyes shot to hers. “And?”

  “Some would say you’ve got a bit of a pole up your ass.”

  Her response was classic Abby. She had always been brutally honest, and I loved her for it.

  I looked at her sheepishly and cocked an eyebrow. “A pole, huh?”

  She grinned. “A fucking giant pole!”

  I looked horrified. “Ouch.”

  We laughed and she put her arm around my shoulders. “I’ve missed you. Have I told you how pleased I am that you are back? Not that I understand why you left in the first place.”

  “You know why.”

  She took a sip of her wine. “No. Not really.”

  I watched Cora rest her head on Cade’s shoulder. The one I’d grabbed onto only five nights ago when he’d given me a mind-blowing orgasm.

  I looked away and focused on the floral arrangement in the center of the table.

  Being in love sucked.

  “It got to be too much,” I said. “Being in the MC. The lifestyle, the expectation…”

  When I looked over at Abby she was giving me her classic don’t bullshit me look, and I sighed. There was no point in being anything but honest with Abby because she’d just call me out on it.

  “I didn’t want to become my mother, okay. A slave to the man she once loved. Tolerating his shit. Picking up after him. Putting out for him even when he’d stuck his dick into some club skank right in front of her.” I chewed on my lip as the memories surged forward. “When he hit her, that was it for me. I wanted out. I didn’t want to end up like that and I knew if I stayed . . .”

  “Cade’s not like that. He would never hit a woman. He doesn’t tolerate that old-school behavior. There are not too many guys in the club who would put up with that shit.”

  “I know. But when you’re sixteen and you watch your father crumble before your very eyes, and you watch him deteriorate into this monster who beats and cheats on his wife,” I shook my head, hating the memories. “I wanted out. I wanted out and as far away from that as possible.”

  “And you got out. And you did everything you said you wanted to
do.” Abby looked me right in the eye. “But yet, here you are.”

  I gave her a pointed look. “My father died. I had to come back and make sure the asshole was buried.”

  Bad memories made me mean.

  “But you’re still here. A week later. Maybe that’s because there is something here that is worth hanging around for?”

  “I stayed for Mirabella and Jacob’s wedding.” I was still unwilling to admit my feelings to anyone.

  But the look she gave me told me I was wasting my time.

  My confusion peaked and I had an overwhelming need to confide in someone. To get my tangle of emotions out in the open for someone else to unravel.

  I let out a deep, confused breath. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Abby. I have this amazing life back in Seattle. And I’m happy. Really. But then I came back here and this place, and these people . . . I feel like I belong here, too.” I covered my face with my hands. “I don’t get it. What do I do?”

  Abby peeled my face from my hands and fixed me with those wise blue eyes of hers. “You work out which one makes you more happy. Your life back in Seattle without Cade. Or a life here in Destiny with Cade. The way I see it, that boy is so in love with you it’s completely your choice.”

  I bit my bottom lip as I digested her words. On the dance floor, Cade untangled Cora from around his neck and kissed her politely on the cheek before walking away.

  The thought of living without him opened a gaping hole in my chest. But the thought of him breaking my heart again was too much to bear. Did I risk it?

  “I’m so confused,” I whispered.

  Abby looked sympathetic. “Do you love him?”

  My eyes found hers. “That’s the sad thing, Abby. I never stopped.”

  CADE

  Now

  I walked down to the river’s edge, away from the party. I needed a break. I was so acutely aware of Indy and it was killing me. Not being able to touch her. Knowing she wasn’t mine. I drained the bourbon from my glass and stared across the river to where the last ribbon of light was slowly sinking beneath the tree line.

  It didn’t matter that I wanted to kiss her. Touch her. Bury myself so deep into her I would lose where I ended and she began. Because she belonged to another man and I had no right.

  Not that I gave a fuck about Anson and what he thought.

  It was Indy I had to respect. And this was what she wanted.

  Fuck!

  I ran my hand through my hair. I wasn’t too proud to admit I was fucking terrified of losing her. Fucking terrified of her returning to Seattle. But it was a fucking hopeless situation. She didn’t want me anymore, and yet I couldn’t imagine a future without her in it. Giving up wasn’t in my nature, but that was exactly what she wanted me to do.

  The snap of a twig told me I wasn’t alone.

  “Cade?”

  I swung around.

  It was Cora. Mirabella’s kid sister who was visiting from college for the wedding.

  I watched her make her way toward me. She was a cute kid. Good looking. And the pink dress she wore did little to hide her smokin’ figure. But she was young. Naïve. Needy. She had a crush on me and she didn’t try to hide it.

  “Here you are,” she said. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. They’re about to cut the cake.”

  “Thanks.” I wasn’t in the mood for cake. Or to see Indy. I wanted bourbon. Not that there was enough bourbon in the world to help me. But for tonight, at least I could drown my sorrows until I passed out. “I might pass on it.”

  Like she could read my mind, Cora pulled a hip flask out from her cleavage. “Maybe I could tempt you with this?”

  I couldn’t help but grin. She was sweet. And she grinned back, because she was pleased to make me happy. She unscrewed the lid and handed it to me. I took a strong mouthful and savored the heat as it travelled down my throat and spread throughout my chest. The second mouthful was just as good. Yeah, drowning my sorrows tonight seemed like a great idea.

  I felt Cora’s eyes on me.

  “Good?” she asked.

  I handed her the flask and watched as she closed her mouth over the top and slowly took a sip, letting bourbon spill on her lips as she pulled the flask away. When she ran her tongue along her bottom lip, she looked up at me through her lashes. She moaned as if it was the best thing she’d ever tasted. She was flirting.

  Making sure I was watching, she slid her tongue across her lip again, this time slow and teasing… inviting.

  Before I could stop it, her mouth was on mine and she wrapped herself around me like she couldn’t get close enough. The flask fell to ground with a loud smack. And because I was unsteady from too much liquor, I fell, too. Cora landed on top of me, and with an enthusiastic moan she straddled me and leaned down to devour my mouth with hers.

  INDY

  Now

  I was a fool.

  I needed to find Cade.

  Maybe I was drunk. Or maybe I was just sick of pretending. Either way, my stupid head was finally ready to listen to my demanding heart. I scanned the reception for him, but he was nowhere. I didn’t know what I was going to say to him.

  I forgive you?

  I want to kiss you?

  I love you?

  No.

  Not I love you.

  Even if it was the truth, I wasn’t stupid enough to think that we had a future together. But I could at least put our history back in the past where it belonged and move forward. I understood now. It wasn’t the club or Cade I was running from; I was running from the ugliness that my mom and dad had become. Somewhere in my teenage mind I had twisted it all around. I had blamed the club—the MC lifestyle—for the demise of their marriage. But in truth, my father had turned mean in his grief over the loss of Bolt, and in my confused teenage mind, his viciousness had manifested into a monster I identified as the MC.

  I might not be able to be with Cade. But I could stop hating the MC like I had been.

  “I have to talk to Cade,” I said to Abby.

  “I think I saw him head toward the riverbank,” she replied, taking my glass from me.

  I nodded. I knew where he would be. Through the trees was a small, sandy beach where we used to fish for catfish as kids. I slipped away from the wedding reception and disappeared into the darkness, navigating the uneven terrain in my Valentino Garavani heels.

  Almost straight away I heard it.

  The moaning.

  Then a giggle.

  Followed by more moaning.

  I stopped. It was coming from deep within the scrub. I heard the rustle of leaves and then a gasp, followed by a muffled, “You like that, baby?” I couldn’t make out the voices, but the girl gasped again, followed by a long, pornographic moan.

  I thought I could sneak past them. Thought I could get by them without them knowing I was there. But when I started walking, my foot slipped on some damp bark and I yelped.

  Immediately, a gruff voice called out to me. “Who the fuck is there?”

  I grimaced.

  Fuck me.

  Now I looked like a creeper.

  “Sorry! It’s just Indy,” I said, feeling like a voyeuristic loser. Thankfully, we were covered in darkness and this unbearably uncomfortable scene was in audio only.

  “Oh, hey, Indy. It’s Maple and Hawke,” called a female voice.

  I had no idea who Maple was.

  “Hey, Maple. Hawke. Sorry, guys, I’m just on my way to the river,” I called back.

  “You okay, girl?” Hawke asked, like he wasn’t currently inside a woman called Maple.

  “All good,” I called out, climbing to my feet and dusting off my knees. “I’m leaving now.”

  “Okay, have a good night, Indy,” the woman called Maple said.

  “You, too!”

  I scurried off, keen to never relive that moment in my head ever again.

  As I made my way through the trees toward the little beach where Cade and I used to play as kids the clanging of something me
tallic turned my head. I heard noises and walked toward them. It was hard to see in the fading light, but I could just make out the silhouettes of two people as they lay by the water’s edge. As I walked closer and stepped through the trees and into the clearing, I could see who they were.

  I stopped.

  It was Cade.

  And he was kissing Cora.

  INDY—Aged 18

  Then

  I couldn’t stop kissing him. It was like the floodgates were open and we couldn’t keep away from each other. Abby and Isaac teased us, relentlessly, and Mallory walked around in a huff for the first few weeks but eventually got over it and moved onto Blake Lawson. And then, Brody Meyers. And then, Chris Frost.

  To most people it was no surprise we were together. Especially to our families and the MC. To them it had only been a matter of time.

  It didn’t take long for us to settle into a normal routine. Cade would pick me up for school and we would walk the halls of West Destiny High just as we always had, side by side and always together. But now we walked closer with our fingers tangled, and with an intimacy that everyone noticed. We were together every chance we got, losing ourselves in our newfound relationship, always touching, always kissing. And when we separated for class, Cade would hold me to his strong body and kiss the breath out of me.

  Then, at the end of the day, I would fall into those strong arms and lose hours to kissing him. Sometimes things went too far and our bodies would beg for more, but Cade made it clear we should wait for when I was ready. Sometimes I thought I was, I mean, it’s hard to think of anything else when the full weight of his body was on mine and he was kissing me into a stupor.

  “Can I touch you?” I whispered one night when things had gone past the point of no return.

  He nodded and his body trembled when I reached between us. My hand moved down his muscular stomach and slid beneath his boxer shorts. When my fingers found him, his breath left him in a sharp exhale. Desire pooled between my thighs when I felt him harden in my hand, and boy, he was big. Not that I had anything to compare it to. He shivered and his lips parted with a slow exhale. I pressed my palm harder against him, and slowly began to move my wrist in an up and down motion.