Heart of the Ocean

by Jason A. Gilbert

  "No one wants you here, Magus!" The young man's voice rose, drawing more attention from the larger crowd near them. Seeing the disturbance, several people moved to join the group surrounding Laila.

  "Please. I just want to go home," Laila whispered to the young man in front of her.

  "This is not your home," he said in response.

  Connor put a hand on her shoulder. "We should leave, now."

  Dio also walked up behind her. "He's right, Laila." And then to the young man, "She's leaving now. We don't want any more trouble, Lycus."

  Lycus turned to the crowd, ignoring the two young men. "Do you all see who the Consulate is protecting? This Magus!" He pointed at Laila.

  Laila thought back to that first encounter with Icarus, so many months ago in this very city center. She knew that this was not going to end well. Connor tensed next to her. She could see that he was just on the edge of calling up his Sword. She gently placed her hand on top of his, drawing his eyes toward her. She shook her head.

  "They're right, you know," Selene said from behind Laila.

  Laila spun, staring at her friend as the crowd surrounding them grew louder.

  "What...what do you mean?" Laila asked, already afraid of the answer.

  "You don't belong here. You're not a Consul anymore. Your mother's been cast out of the Guardians. Your father barely holds onto his position in the Consulate. Every day that you stay here reflects against him. I...I thought I might be able to change that. But you are different. I see that now for myself. You're a Magus. We can't have that in Terus. We can’t have you in Terus, Laila."

  "Selene..." Laila's voice trailed off as her friend stepped back from the three of them and into the crowd around them.

  Lycus turned back to her. "See? Even your friends abandon you. Leave, Magus! Leave Terus! You are not wanted."

  Connor stepped in front of Laila as Lycus approached.

  "Connor, no," Laila said.

  "What is going on here?" a voice called out from the crowd. A number of the growing crowd turned to see who the voice had come from and they parted as a group of five on-duty Guardians, wearing their weapons at their waists, stepped through the crowd into the center.

  "Ah, Guardians. We were just discussing how this Magus needs to leave Terus," Lycus explained.

  The lead Guardian looked at Laila and then back to Lycus. "While that may be so, she is currently under the protection of the Consulate. Until that protection is revoked, she has the same rights as any Citizen."

  Lycus deflated visibly. There were a few angry shouts from the crowd, but Laila could see that Lycus knew better than to argue with a Guardian.

  The older Guardian quickly turned to Laila. "You should still get home. I don't know that this area is going to stay safe for you."

  Laila heard a hint of actual concern in the man's voice, but it was tinged with the same frustration and anger displayed by the rest of the crowd. She nodded, turning away and brushing past Lycus as quickly as she could. Connor followed, with Dio close behind. Selene had disappeared. Laila moved through the crowd, suffering though the muttered comments and rough shoulders as she went.

  "No more Magi!"

  "Her father should be ashamed."

  "Get out of Terus!"

  Laila pulled at her hood, bringing it over her face again, this time to hide the tears that began to gather in her eyes. She had been right to stay isolated at home. She should never have left. Once free of the crowd, she began to run down the main avenue. She did not look back to see if Connor and Dio were keeping up. She just wanted to get home. Get back to her room.

  Back to her staff.

  Two

  Father

  Laila burst through the gate and ran through the gardens. She caught a glimpse of Clara and stumbled over a small stone in the garden. Catching herself, she ignored Clara and rushed toward her room. The door to her room flew open, and she immediately grabbed at her staff, which was leaning against the wall. As soon as her hand touched the stone, she drew at the energy inside. Warmth and confidence roared into her, banishing some of her roiling emotions. Not completely, though: the fear and shame still hung on at the edge of her awareness. She continued to pull at the staff with her mind, eliciting a dim glow of earthlight.

  She closed her eyes, letting her power wash over her. She should never have left her staff. She should never have left the house.

  There was a gentle knock on her door.

  "I'm fine, Clara. Please," she said. Despite the effects of the staff, she could not help the edge of emotion in her voice.

  "It's Connor." Connor's voice drifted through the door. She wanted to see him even less. He would try to convince her that everything was fine. That she had no reason to be sad. Connor did not know Terus.

  "I... Just give me some time," she answered finally.

  "No." The response surprised Laila. She could not remember Connor ever flat out refusing her.

  "Connor. I know what you want to say. But you don't know. Terus is different than Custos. The people are different."

  She heard a muffled bump against the door. Connor must have leaned up against it.

  "Aye, it is different." She heard him sigh through the door. "I frequently find myself wondering why I'm here. Custos was so much simpler. We all knew our place. We all worked for the good of everyone else."

  Laila moved closer to the door. She was not going to open it, but she wanted to hear him more clearly. She sat down and leaned her back against it.

  "You don't do that here. We always heard stories about how wonderful the Confederacy was. Cities so big you couldn't walk across them in a day. Everyone rich and happy. No worries.

  "But, it's not like that. It's rough and hard. I think it's like that everywhere. There is no place free of problems."

  Laila listened to the odd cadence in Connor's voice. There was something about it that she found soothing. It was different. It had almost a singsong flow to it. And he was right. The world was not an easy place. She wanted to believe that she had thought differently before everything that had happened with Torin. But she had not. She had questioned the structure of Terus before she had even taken her Test. Foolishly, she had thought that she could change it, if only she could become a Consul. Now she saw the truth. Things would only change if people wanted them to change. And most people were too comfortable. Most knew nothing of the world outside of Terus. Many people knew little of the other cities of the Confederacy. And the Aurai were still out there. A threat hovering that few could see.

  "I thought you were going to try and make me feel better," Laila finally said.

  She heard a light chuckle. "I think I've learned enough about you to know better than that."

  Laila smiled. "So what do we do? How do we deal with these things? Especially with everything else that's going on."

  There was a long moment of silence. Connor knew the story of what had happened with Nuriel, and she, Connor, and Icarus had discussed some of the implications of the information they had learned in the last two months. But Connor was also the only one she had told about what she had discovered in the Earth Treatise. About the fate of the Magusari. As such, part of Laila wondered if any of this was even worth figuring out.

  "We keep on," Connor finally said. "That's what the elders used to talk about back home. We held to all of these beliefs and traditions, but we didn't know where most of them came from. Even our oldest stories don't mention the Moon Kingdom that Icarus always talks about. But we held to those beliefs anyways. It gave us a path, a purpose. I never really understood it until I met you. And if we had abandoned those traditions... Would I have ever met you? I don't know. But it seems unlikely."

  She had never heard Connor speak so freely, even during their time traveling together. Though that was likely because she had always been so concerned about what was going on with her. It was nice to hear his perspective.

  "I never thought of it that way. Icarus always talks about following the path."
/>   "'The Magusari will right the balance,'" Connor said, lowering his voice and imitating Icarus. "Whatever that means."

  Laila chuckled at his imitation. "I think there would be a little more scratchiness to his voice, and then you need to talk about some obscure topic that neither of us really understand."

  "Aye." She heard Connor laugh with her. "But, as we've learned, I'm just a simple boy from some nothing village in the south. At least, that's what your friend seemed to think."

  "Selene..." Laila began, remembering her reaction to the crowd. She did not think Selene would turn against her so quickly. "Thank you, Connor."

  "For what?"

  "For making me feel better. I know I don't always cooperate."

  "No, you don't." She could hear the smile in his voice. "But that's why I'm here. I guess."

  “What happened to Dio?”

  “He went to speak to Selene, or try at least. I don’t think it’ll do any good, but he went anyways.”

  “He’ll try. She won’t listen, if she’ll even talk to him…”

  Laila leaned her head back against the wood of the door, letting the anxiety from earlier leave her. She looked down at her hand, still grasping her staff, but realized that she had not been calling on her power, not since she and Connor had started talking. He really had helped her.

  There was a shuffle on the other side of the door. "Connor?" Laila asked.

  No response. She pulled herself up off the floor, bracing herself against her staff. There was a brief hint of pain in her right arm. It had never fully healed from the Mander attack, and it still ached from time to time. But the sensation passed quickly. She swung the door open, expecting to see Connor standing there. Instead, she saw her father. Connor leaned out from behind him, shrugging apologetically.

  "Father," Laila said, flatly.

  "Laila-sa," Alain responded.

  "Why... What are you doing home? Shouldn't you be at the Consulate?"

  Alain studied his daughter for a moment before answering. Laila thought she could see a hint of regret in his eyes. "I heard what happened. I knew you'd come home. I wanted to make sure you were all right."

  "It was nothing," Laila said, moving away from the door, further into her room. Alain followed her. Connor took a step forward and stood in the doorway. Laila waved him off and he reluctantly turned to leave.

  "It did not sound like nothing," Alain continued.

  "There are still some people who think like Torin, I guess."

  Alain tilted his head to the side, considering. "Laila-sa, there are many who think like Torin. Especially concerning the Magi. You would be hard pressed to find those who did not feel the same."

  "But Icarus has done nothing but help me. I don't understand why everyone hates him... And me." The last was spoken a little softer.

  "I don't know if ‘hate’ is the right word," Alain said, moving across the room and standing near her window, looking to the east. "Fear is probably a better term. Fear of a return to how things were before. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown. The Magi have been the shadow hung over us for a hundred years. That is not an easy shadow to move away from."

  "Do you feel that way?" Laila asked. The forwardness of the question surprised even her, but she needed to know.

  Alain turned toward her. She saw his eyes drift to the staff in her hands.

  "I don't know. You are my daughter. And I want nothing but to protect you. But..." He motioned toward the staff. "This...and what happened at the Consulate." He turned away from her. "I just don't know. I'm sorry."

  He hung his head. Laila had never seen her father this way. He had always been the strong one. The commanding one. Now he was just a concerned father, worrying over his daughter. First her mother's fall from grace, and now her father. Laila's world continued to spin beyond her control or comprehension.

  "Maybe," Laila began slowly, surprised at how calm her voice was, "maybe I need to leave Terus. Again. I know Icarus thinks I need to." Her father almost flinched. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do. But I don't think I can do it here." She turned and looked out the window herself, considering the implications of that statement and finally feeling confident in the decision.

  She stood for a moment, watching the gulls drift on the winds over the harbor. As she watched, she felt strong arms wrap around her shoulders. Her father pulled her to him, hugging her tightly. At first she stood stiffly; her father had never been an affectionate person. But, after a moment, she let herself lean against him, drawing strength from the embrace. She wrapped her arms around him in return and they stood together, silent.

  Finally, after a long time, Alain pushed his daughter away from him and looked down into her young face. "You will never know how truly proud of you I am. I can't even begin to express it..." He held her gaze for a moment longer before turning away, overcome.

  "I can stay until the trial, at least?" Laila asked, hoping to ease her father's emotions.

  He took a deep breath. "Yes. It is two days from today. You'll need to testify."

  "Do you think they'll listen to me?"

  "They'll listen to me. And I trust you. Therefore, at least in this, so will the Consulate."

  Laila nodded. "Thank you, Father."

  Alain placed his hands on her shoulders. "Always, Laila-sa."

  With no further discussion, her father left her room, closing the door behind him.

  Later that evening, Laila still sat in her room, contemplating her decision. Even with everything that had happened, Terus was still her home. But she knew that there was something else out there. Something that was working toward Terus's destruction. Perhaps it would be necessary for her to leave in order to protect the place and the people that she loved.

  There was a slight rustle of feet by her door that snapped her out of her thoughts. She waited for the knock, but it didn’t come. Standing, she moved toward the door, opening it slowly. Looking out, she saw a flash of robe disappear into the door to her mother's study. Steeling herself, Laila decided that it was time to make her mother speak to her. Every attempt had been ignored so far, and she did not know if her father had spoken to her or not. Regardless, she needed to tell her mother what she’d decided, and hopefully begin find out what had happened to the strong woman Lunete had once been.

  Laila reached the door to her mother's study and saw that it was open slightly. Pushing gently on the wooden door, it swung inward. The study was a mess. Furniture was scattered across the room. Her mother's desk was littered with books and papers with no semblance of organization. Weapons that were usually displayed neatly on the wall opposite the desk were strewn about the floor; some looked as though they had simply been taken off the wall and thrown. Laila stood and took in the scene for a moment. In the chaos, her mother sat at the far end of the study, in a simple wooden chair, staring out the window. She did not turn as Laila entered the room.

  "Mother?" Laila said, stepping carefully around the items cast about on the floor.

  Lunete sat up a little straighter, but she did not turn toward Laila.

  "Mother, please?" Laila said.

  Laila saw her mother's shoulders sag slightly. Finally, her eyes swung toward her daughter. "What is it, child?"

  Laila could hear the dejected tone in her mother's voice. The entire scene, the chaotic study, her mother's forlorn look, and the broken tone of her voice; it struck Laila deeply. She knew that her mother had taken losing her place as a Guardian hard, but this went beyond that. This room demonstrated a broken spirit. Laila needed to understand why.

  "Have you spoken to Father?" Laila asked, afraid to ask the real question just yet.

  Lunete's head cocked to one side, as though she knew that was not what Laila wanted to ask either. "No, Laila-sa. Your father and I have not spoken for...a while."

  "Why not?"

  "There has been no reason. Your father is busy at the Consulate, and I...I have nothing to discuss with the Consul."

  Laila took a deep breath. "
I have to leave again, Mother."

  Lunete turned back to the window, not willing or able to look at Laila any longer. "I know. I knew you'd eventually have to leave again. Even when you returned, against all my hopes, I knew you'd have to go again. He told me."

  Lunete’s voice trailed off with the last statement, and Laila almost did not hear her last sentence.

  "Who told you?" Laila asked.

  "Torin."

  Laila did not know how to respond. How could Torin have known what would happen?

  "What...what did he tell you?" pressed Laila.

  Lunete did not respond. Her gaze had taken on the absent look again as she stared out her window into the starry sky.

  "Mother, what did Torin tell you?"

  "That even if you returned, eventually you'd leave again. That there were too many players involved. And that, in the end, you would fail."

  The flatness of her mother's tone actually made the words strike harder. Torin had been playing a much deeper game than she’d realized. But why would he share any of this with her mother?

  "When did this happen?" Laila continued.

  "I don't want to talk about it any more, child."

  "Mother, please. I need to know."

  "No, child. It is not your concern. Torin was being manipulative. That is how he operates."

  "But...Mother. Don't you see that this is what Torin wanted? He wanted you to be broken by this! By me!"

  "I know," her mother said, lowering her head.

  "Tell me what happened. I need to know. Why are you letting him win?"

  Her mother sat silent. Laila took a step closer and reached out to put her hand on her mother's shoulder. Lunete flinched away from her touch, leaving her seat and moving away from the window.

  "Mother..." Laila began, but Lunete continued to head toward the hallway. Laila watched, unable to do anything more. Her mother stopped at the door, resting her hand on the frame but keeping her back to Laila still.

  "He told me that even if you succeed, you'll still fail. In the end, all that you will achieve is your own death. And, despite everything, there's nothing that I can do to protect you."