“No, I had breakfast with dad, he said he cooks better than you.” Ali looked up at her mom, a mischievous smile on her face, and erupted into giggles when Tess responded playfully with, “That is because your dad is more of a girl than mommy and girls are better cooks.” Brad chimed in from behind, “Your mom is just jealous because I’m prettier than she is.” Ali giggled again. “Mom is beautiful, Dad.” Brad agreed and turned to his daughter when Tess walked out of the room. “But I’m prettier,” he whispered, “right?” Ali whispered back, “You are both pretty, Dad,” and giggled again when Brad made a sad face and left the room.
He found Tess in the kitchen making a pot of coffee. “Come out with me this weekend.”
Tess rolled her eyes. “Just because I’m single doesn’t mean you’re getting in my pants, Brad.”
“Oh, single or not, if I wanted in your pants, I could get in your pants.” Brad grinned and motioned towards himself. “No woman can resist this.” When Tess rolled her eyes again, he continued. “I mean it, come on, you need a night out. I’ll be your wing man. You can get drunk, complain about the crazy, and then we will find you a nice lady to take home to get her off your mind.”
“Ugh,” Tess groaned and took two coffee cups out of the cupboard. “I have no desire to find a lady, Brad.” She picked at the handle of her coffee cup. “It has only been a month. I think I am good for a while.”
It was Brad’s turn to roll his eyes. “Women.” He shook his head. “You know, this is where men get it right and women get it wrong.” When Tess raised her eyebrows, Brad defended his statement. “I know, us males don’t get it right often, but when it comes to relationship endings, we have this down. See your problem is, you wallow—”
Tess cut him off. “I do not wallow.” She gave him a pointed look and stressed her statement. “I am not wallowing.”
Brad squeezed her shoulders and looked at her sympathetically. “Sure you aren’t, but for the sake of my argument, let us pretend you are.” He continued when Tess swatted his hands away. “Instead of sitting around thinking about old times, look at the future. Get out of the house, have sex, for Pete’s sake, and live a little. You aren’t going to get over her by sitting at home staring at your phone and pretending you aren’t eventually going to answer it and start the unhealthy cycle all over again.”
Tess handed him the cup of coffee she had just poured and added a teaspoon of sugar before turning to get her own. “Not everyone can go out and have mindless sex with anything that looks in their general direction, Brad. Some people actually like to connect with another person on some level.”
“Negative.”
“Of course you say ‘negative,” Tess sneered, “you think with your penis.”
Brad put his spoon in the sink. “It may be a paradox, but I’m right. Everyone does it, Tessie, but not everyone talks about it. I don’t care if you have a penis or a vagina, everyone is capable of enjoying a simple, no-strings-attached, totally self-fulfilling, one-night stand. The fact that it is not socially acceptable to talk about, does not make it any less true.”
Tess rolled her eyes again. “Well I am not one of those people, and even if I were, I am not interested.” She leaned against the counter and sipped at her coffee. “I just want some time to relax and move on. Besides I work nights this weekend, we are short staffed at the hospital. Don’t you pay attention to anything I tell you?”
Brad leaned on the counter next to Tess and draped an arm around her shoulders. “I pay attention to the important things.” He kissed her temple. “Another time, then. Should I pick Ali up at your sister’s on Saturday?”
Tess leaned against Brad for a moment and nodded. “Yeah, I work Saturday too, so can you drop her off there as well?”
“Sure thing, my dear.” Brad gave Tess’s shoulder one last squeeze before downing the remainder of his coffee. “I’m going to kiss my girl goodbye and I am off to work. The offer is on the table though.” Brad turned and grinned, “Wing man… roll in the sheets… your choice — really.” He barely finished his sentence when a spoon was hurled dangerously close to his head.
“I don’t want your penis Brad.” Tess sighed and sipped more of her coffee. She was thankful for the relationship she had with Brad, and he was right. She needed to smile more, but it was difficult when so many things seemed to insist she didn’t. She rubbed her finger across the brim of her coffee cup and stared at the door of the refrigerator. It was littered with pictures that Ali had drawn. She focused her attention on the one in the middle. Two stick figures, one big, one little, and a stick figure cat. I love you kid, she thought, and smiled. If nothing else in this world ever goes right, I know one thing did.
“Ali, how does the park sound?” Tess peeked into Ali’s bedroom and smiled at the little girl, still laying on her belly with the cat.
Ali pressed her finger to her lips and seemed to be in deep thought for several moments before turning her attention to her mother. “Ice cream too?”
Tess smiled, already knowing that the question was coming, as Ali’s latest obsession seemed to be ice cream cones. “You do realize that every excursion from the house does not require a trip for ice cream, right?”
Ali’s face twisted, lips pursed as she gave her mom a funny look and repeated the word. “What’s ‘excursion’?”
“It means, every time we go somewhere we don’t have to get ice cream.” Tess laughed and sat on the floor next to her daughter. “But I suppose, it can include ice cream if you want.”
Ali squealed, “I do!” She laid her head on Tess’s lap and closed her eyes when she felt her mother’s hand running through her hair. “Is Hilly coming?”
Tess smiled at the way her daughter said Hillary’s name and then frowned at the question in general. Though Ali could correctly pronounce Hillary’s name, she began calling her Hilly before she was old enough to say it fully, and the childish version had stuck. “No not today, love, I think maybe she works,” Tess lied, not wanted to upset her daughter by saying she simply wasn’t willing to invite Hillary to spend time with them just yet. To her surprise, her daughter smiled widely.
“Good.”
Tess started to shrug the statement off, but was curious about the thoughts rolling around her daughter’s tiny mind. They had not seen Hillary since Tess had thrown her out, and she had agonized about how to explain to her daughter that Hillary was gone, upset that this wasn’t the first time Hillary had been bounced in and out of Ali’s life. When Tess had told Ali that Hillary had moved out, Ali had only asked if she was going to see Hillary again, and if they got to keep Snickers, her beloved cat. Ali hadn’t brought Hillary up again, and though ashamed that she was scared of a conversation with her six-year-old daughter, Tess was grateful that she didn’t have to do too much explaining to the usually inquisitive child. “Why good? Do you not like it when Hillary goes to the park with us?” Tess questioned.
Ali shook her head with the exuberance of a small child. “She always makes us leave early because she gets bored. I like it when it’s just me and you mom.”
Tess nodded, satisfied with the child’s simple answer. She didn’t want to pry more, but thought maybe it was healthy for Ali to talk about things and felt guilty for not giving her daughter the opportunity, due to the train wreck that her own emotions had become. “Do you miss Hillary?”
Ali scrunched her face up again in thought. “Sometimes I do. She was funny, and she let me play with her phone.” She looked up at her mom, shrugging her hair out of the woman’s fingers. “Do you miss her?”
Tess looked at her daughter’s tiny face and thought about the innocence in her answer and her question. “Sometimes,” she agreed. “You’re right, she was funny.” She thought about the many times Hillary had handed her daughter her cell phone with a game to keep her busy and how often they had argued about it. Although she liked having time with Hillary, Tess didn’t like the sit-down-and-be-quiet approach that Hillary often took with her daughter.
She returned her daughter’s smile and watched as the girl bounded over to the closet and pulled her raincoat down. “You don’t need that, sweetie, it isn’t raining.” Tess had forgotten that Ali even had a raincoat, and thought about the night that they had bought it for her.
Hillary had taken them to see the falls and on Tess’s insistence, because of the cooler weather, Hillary had purchased a raincoat and sweatshirt for underneath, so Ali could stay warm and dry. It was one of the happier memories of the time they had spent together. They had seen the falls, gone out for dinner, spent the night in a hotel, and come home the next morning without a single argument. Tess remembered how much they had laughed that evening and felt a familiar lump in her throat before she reminded herself that though they had a good time, Hillary had also spent the majority of it staring at her cell phone. Tess realized now how naïve she had been, thinking that even the one happy memory that they had was probably sullied by Hillary’s frequent infidelity. She shook the thought from her mind and stood.
“I know, but I like it, and what if it does rain?”
Tess looked out the bedroom window at the crystal-clear, cloudless and blue, Pennsylvania sky. “I guess, better to be safe than sorry.” She smiled down at her daughter. If a raincoat makes her happy, who am I to judge? She reached in the closet, still smiling and pulled a small Minnie Mouse umbrella out of the corner, handing it to her daughter. “Here, you might as well go all out.”
Ali squealed and jumped up and down. “Rain boots too?”
Tess glanced towards the clear sky again, thinking that the temperature outside would be pushing 75 to 80 by afternoon and smiled down at her daughter. “Sure, little love, rain boots too.”
CHAPTER THREE
“Don’t be an ass, Chris.” Courtney smacked her brother on the back of the head as she walked passed. He choked on the bite of cereal he was putting in his mouth, before protesting with a loud, “Hey!” He wiped the corner of his mouth with a napkin and protested again, “How can I be an ass? I am eating a bowl of cereal, and this is the first time I’ve seen you all morning!” He rubbed the back of his head lightly, balled up his used napkin, and sent it flying across the kitchen at his sister.
Courtney rolled her eyes when the napkin bounced off of her shoulder. “You’re overcharging. An hour and a half for a hard drive, Chris?” She pointed at her brother accusingly when he started to protest. “It’s dishonest, and you’re better than that.”
Chris argued with his sister. “I don’t overcharge, I’m fair with my fees! Who are you talking about?” When Courtney smacked a file on the walnut table, next to his bowl, he nodded in acknowledgement. He recognized the appointment he had sent his sister on the prior week. “I didn’t overcharge her.” Chris grinned at his sister, dimples prominent beneath his morning stubble, “I took my time because she was hot!” He pointed at the numbers on the last page, “I only charged her for the hour.”
“Mmmmhmm.” Courtney rolled her eyes at the milk splatter on the counter and the remnants of cereal he had spilled and left for her to clean. “Ugh. No wonder you don’t have a girlfriend, Chris, you are so gross.” She pulled the dishcloth out of the sink and wiped up her younger brother’s mess. “Would it kill you to clean up after yourself? When I agreed that you could stay here, I didn’t realize I was agreeing to be your maid.” When Chris just grunted and dropped his bowl and spoon in the sink, glancing at the dishwasher on his way to the door, Courtney smacked at his head again. “Did you talk to dad yet?” Courtney was referring to the fact that her brother had dropped out of college, which her father was paying for, for no apparent reason except that he seemed to be bored.
Chris groaned loudly and pulled his sneakers on. “I will, Court. Soon.” He pulled a basketball from the closet and bounced it on the hardwood floor a few times. “Three on three with the boys, want to play?” Chris grinned again when his sister rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue in the corner of her mouth as if she were dead. “I’m going to look at an apartment this afternoon too, think you could take another appointment for me?” Chris pressed his hands together and looked at his sister with pleading eyes, saying, “because you love your little brother so much and you have no life,” he added, with a twinkle in his eye.
“I have a life, Chris! Some of us have full-time jobs that require our attention. Just because I plan to spend my time off relaxing does not mean I do not have a life!” She pulled his bowl and spoon out of the sink and waved them towards him before opening the dish washer. “Besides, lucky for you I have more time on my hands or you wouldn’t have anyone to pick up your appointment slack while you go play ball with your friends.” Courtney sighed when her brother disappeared from the kitchen and reappeared a moment later with a new file. He kissed her on the cheek and thanked her before rushing out the front door.
Courtney set the folder on the table and poured some steaming water into a mug. She grabbed a teabag from the cupboard and dipped it into the liquid. She jumped slightly when she felt a cold nose against the back of her leg. “I have a life, Jasper,” she said, leaning down to ruffle the dog’s ears playfully. She stood and reached for the tea, but Jasper wasn’t having it and bumped his head against her legs again. “Alright,” Courtney laughed, “but you aren’t going to lose that chub by eating three times a day!” She made her way to the pantry and scooped some light dog food into the husky’s dish. The vet had put him on a low calorie diet and reduced his meals to once or twice per day when the scale topped nearly twenty pounds overweight. “No snacks for you tonight.” She ruffled the dogs ears again before taking her tea to the table to look at the file Chris had given her.
She groaned loudly when she realized what the appointment was for. “You so owe me you jerk-wad,” Courtney stated aloud, hating that she was going to be stuck repairing radiology machines all afternoon. Nothing bored Courtney more than sitting in a small room with white walls, attempting to repair archaic machines that the medical field was too cheap to replace. She looked in disgust at the quote that Chris had given the hospital. “If I were going to overcharge, this is where I would do it.”
~~~
Tess sat at the emergency room desk, trying rapidly to finish some of her charts. They had been swamped for the last six hours, and this was the first time she had been able to sit down. They were short staffed, swamped with emergencies and transports out, their computers had been down twice, and she was nearly ten charts behind. Several hours ago, she had resorted to a small tablet and pen in her pocket for all of her notes, and now she was desperately trying to make sense of what she had written in the chaos.
“Logan!” Tess tried to catch the charge nurse’s attention on his way through. “What was the verdict on the kid in bed three?” The tall man stopped briefly and rubbed his hand along his jawline. “I think he was discharged with steroids. Just a rash.” Tess shot him a quick thank you when he turned to rush down the hall. She flipped through the pages in her notebook, paused when she found the bed she was looking for, and typed it into the computer. When she was on her fifth chart, the computer locked her out and restarted. She took a deep breath and tried to refrain from chucking the pen holder into the screen while it loaded.
She took the spare second to send Brad a text and ask how Ali was doing. She instantly regretted looking at her phone when she saw the messages from Hillary appear on the screen. The messages were filled with I miss yous and please talk to mes. Tess felt the knot in her throat and swallowed hard. It had been difficult ignoring Hillary’s messages and shutting her out, but she knew if she let her put her foot back in the door, that she would be right back to where they always were. Though Hillary always promised she would change, she always reverted back after a few months, and their relationship never ended well. I do miss you on nights like tonight though, Tess thought, thinking of Hillary’s lighthearted demeanor. She stared at the messages for a moment and frowned before hitting the save button.
She typed a quick message to Brad and took a deep
breath before diving back into the computer. One chart in, and the screen turned blue and it shut off again. This time, Tess actually picked up the pen holder and had to physically force herself to put it back down again so it didn’t end up embedded into the computer screen. She dialed “2” on the internal line, and her frustration boiled over to the manager on the other end. “I don’t know how we are supposed to get anything done down here when the whole computer system keeps shutting down every ten seconds, John!”
“The repair tech is in radiology, Tess, I can’t do anything about it. She will get to you when she gets to you.”
Tess scoffed “Are you kidding me, John? Radiology isn’t even open right now! Why isn’t she down here fixing the ER computers first?”
“I don’t have time for this either, Tess.” John snapped through the line. “If you have an issue, go speak with the tech. I can’t help you.” When Tess heard the dead signal, she had the overwhelming urge to chuck the phone at the computer and solve both problems with one swift motion. Instead, she replaced the phone on its receiver and told one of the charge nurses she was taking ten. When she was met with a look of disbelief from the nurse, she held up her hand. “I know we are behind, I’m going to find the computer tech. This is ridiculous!” The nurse snorted in protest, but Tess took off anyway. She hadn’t had a break in hours, she was exhausted, she was starving, her feet were killing her, and if the computer shut down on her one more time, she feared she would be shipped up to the psych unit. She needed something, or someone, to take out her anger on, and the computer tech seemed to be a safe bet.
When she reached radiology, her anger was boiling over. When she saw that the section of the hospital was completely empty, because it was late and far past open hours, her rage completely boiled over, and she started talking to herself on the way down the hall to find the tech.
No Expectations Page 2