No Expectations

by Morgan Thomas

  Tess’s jaw dropped. Oh, no, you didn’t. “So that’s how it’s going to be? You two are going to gang up on me now?”

  Courtney ignored Tess and directed her voice at Ali. “So what do you think, should we stop and grab ice cream on the way? I have popcorn at home.”

  Ali’s face lit up in excitement. “Awesome! Can we be done now?” Ali asked Tess, a smile spread wide across her face as she pushed her plate away from her. “I’m going to ride with Courtney.”

  Tess sighed heavily. She was exhausted, but she was already out, and this didn’t look like a battle she had any chance of winning. She shot Courtney a pleading look, but the woman was too busy deliberately avoiding eye contact and talking to Ali. She felt like she had spent a lot of time the last few weeks telling Ali she was tired, and that made her feel like a terrible parent. It’s not your fault I work long hours. “Alright, one movie, but you’re riding with me.”

  Tess listened to Ali’s squeals of excitement on the way out to the parking lot and during the entire ride as they followed Courtney’s car. When they pulled into the driveway, Tess barely had the key out of the ignition and Ali was unbuckling her booster and bouncing out of the car. “Hey wait!” Tess called after her, jumping out of the car to catch up to the child.

  Courtney opened the front door and was in the process of telling the two girls she had a dog when Ali came bouncing through the door past her, spotted Jasper, and started squealing all over again. “I guess she isn’t afraid of dogs.” Courtney laughed, watching as Jasper rolled on his back excitedly while Ali rubbed his belly.

  “I’m sorry.” Tess looked at Courtney, embarrassed that her daughter had plowed through the door in front of Courtney. “When she gets excited, she forgets she has manners.”

  Courtney rolled her eyes. “Loosen up, Tess.” She watched with a smile on her face as Ali lay on her back next to Jasper and tried to wriggle in the same motion he was, all the while giggling hysterically at the dog’s high-pitched whining. She laughed and made her way to the cupboard. She grabbed a bag of popcorn and stuck it in the microwave, motioning for Tess to follow. “Come on, you don’t need to stand in the doorway.”

  Tess watched her daughter giggling on the floor and thought maybe this had been a good idea after all. She followed Courtney to the living room and watched her thumb through DVDs before plucking three from the shelf.

  “Ali, come pick.” She handed the DVDs to Tess when she heard the microwave ding and went to get the popcorn. Tess looked at the DVDs in her hand, surprised to see that all three were actually movies about Panda's. After Ali had picked one and they were settled on the couch in the living room, Courtney pressed play. It was all of ten minutes before Ali slid off the couch to lay on the floor with Jasper, leaving Courtney on one side of the couch and Tess on the other. It was five minutes more before Courtney noticed that Tess’s breathing had slowed. She looked over and smiled. Tess had fallen asleep, her head resting on her hand. Courtney gave her a few minutes before getting a blanket and covering her, a triumphant look on her face.

  She leaned back on her side of the couch and watched the woman sleep, wondering what it was about her that piqued her interest. She had never been involved with a woman with a kid before, nor had she ever attempted to be involved with someone in the midst of a messy breakup. In fact, Courtney searched her mind for the last time she had actually been genuinely interested in a woman, and frowned. Aside from the more than the occasional roll in the sheets, Courtney couldn’t remember the last time she had even considered getting to know another female. In fact, when she added up the numbers in her mind, the fact that she had been talking to Tess for a few weeks made this possibly the longest relationship she had had with a woman in years.

  She frowned again, reminding herself that Tess was not interested in a relationship, and tried to convince herself that she wasn’t either. I don’t do relationships, she reassured herself, but the way Tess cuddled down into the corner of her couch warmed something inside her that she wasn’t used to feeling. Way to go, Courtney, she thought to herself, not only have you established that you have the emotional mind set of your little brother, you have now graduated to full-on ridiculousness by being interested in possibly the only woman you have every spent any amount of time with that is not equally as interested in you.

  She was still deep in thought when she suddenly found herself with a little blonde-haired girl crawling in her lap. She was shocked at first, not used to being around kids, and amazed at Ali’s brazen boldness that involved saying and doing anything that came to mind at the moment. She envied the child for her ability to not only be so brazen and bold, but also for the easy way she seemed to get away with it. She lifted her arm when Ali tried to snuggle beneath it and was equally as surprised when Jasper scotched his chunky body across the floor so he was nestled under Ali’s overhanging foot. You like them too, huh?, she thought, watching as her rolly polly dog squished himself underneath the small girl’s toes.

  With the girl nestled in her lap, dog in tow and a beautiful woman on the other end of the couch, Courtney felt her heart doing a dance that she was definitely not familiar with and thought that something about this moment was going to stick in her mind. She looked down at Jasper again and thought, We are in trouble, bud.

  She looked back up at Tess again and couldn’t help but smile, though this time her smile was filled with a new sense of nervous. She spent the rest of the movie watching the woman sleep.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  Tess woke with a start, suddenly aware of the quiet. She heard music, playing low, but when she looked around, she didn’t see anyone. Ali. She jumped up, but took only two steps when Courtney appeared in the hallway, holding her hands up to calm the almost instantly frazzled-looking mother.

  “She’s in my room,” Courtney whispered before Tess could ask. “She’s sleeping, she ordered music. You can check on her, it’s the first door down the hall on the right.” Courtney led Tess down the hall and cracked open the door. Tess looked in and saw her daughter sprawled over the chunky dog, one arm draped around his neck and one leg hanging off the bed.

  “I think Jasper thinks he’s a pillow.”

  Tess felt the warmth of Courtney’s breath on the back of her neck with each word. “Thank you, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, looking at Courtney apologetically, and then took a step quietly into the doorway before Courtney stopped her.

  “What are you doing?” Courtney whispered, “It’s after ten, she’s already sleeping. Come on.” She reached for Tess’s forearm and slid her hand down to grasp Tess’s hand. She pulled her gently away from the door and latched it behind them. “She’ll be safe in there with Jasper. Let her sleep.”

  Tess looked back at the bedroom door hesitantly before allowing herself to be led to the kitchen. What Courtney said hit her again when she walked into the kitchen and noticed the time. “It’s after ten! I am so sorry, you should’ve woken me. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” She ran her hand through her hair and glanced towards the hallway apprehensively, her face full of guilt and embarrassment. “Was she good?”

  “She was great,” Courtney smiled at Tess reassuringly. “We had fun.” Courtney was surprised even as she spoke that she was telling Tess the truth. She had fun with Ali, even if she had spent the entire span of both movies watching Tess sleep while Ali was enthralled in the not-so-secret lives of Pandas. “We watched two movies and then we googled information on Panda’s and played with Jasper. She is really smart for her age.”

  Tess bit the corner of her lip. “I’m really sorry. I should get her home.”

  Courtney looked at Tess, feigning irritation, but bordering amusement. “Are you trying to get away from me?”

  “What? No. It’s just late and I wasted your entire night sleeping on your couch.” Tess bit the corner of her lip a little harder, still embarrassed that she had passed out for so long, especially when she had Ali with her.

  “Exactly, and it’s late and Ali is a
lready sleeping, so just stay here tonight.” When Courtney saw a mixture of what she assumed to be apprehensive terror cross Tess’s face, she smiled and explained, “You can sleep with Ali, and I’ll take the spare room.” Courtney reached up with her finger and brushed it over Tess’s lip lightly. “Stop chewing on your lip. Will you please just relax a little? Everything is fine.” She ran her hands down Tess’ arms and held her hands. She was surprised at her sudden need to touch the woman, but couldn’t stop herself from making the simple, yet endearing contacts. “Okay?”

  Tess met Courtney’s gaze and nodded. Everything was not okay. The way that Courtney was rubbing her thumbs on the back of Tess’s hands suddenly made her breath quicken. She felt her face flushing with nerves and willed herself to calm down, reminding herself that she was a grown woman and not a teenage school girl. “Okay.”

  Courtney smiled and released her hands to reach over Tess’s shoulder for a bottle of wine. “Now, I told you that I would make you love wine, so you need to taste this.” When Tess started to protest, Courtney countered. “She is sleeping, and I’m just giving you a taste. I’m not going to get you drunk.”

  Tess knew Courtney was right and thought at this point that even a few putrid sips of wine may calm her nerves. When Courtney had reached over her shoulder, brushing their bodies lightly together, for that brief moment, her entire body had tingled. She took a deep breath and willed her body to calm itself. She was attracted to Courtney, this was something she already knew, but every time the woman was close to her, it was magnified and she felt like a teenager again.

  Courtney took two glasses from the island and poured an inch of wine in each before handing one to Tess. “This one is my favorite. It’s sweet, mostly a raspberry flavor.” She watched as Tess glanced in the glass and wrinkled up her nose. “Just try it,” she laughed, “if you don’t like it I promise, I will never bother you with wine talk again.”

  Tess swirled the wine in the glass, acting like she thought a wine connoisseur would, already certain that she wouldn’t like what she was about to taste, but amusing Courtney nonetheless. At Courtney’s insistence, she finally took a tentative sip and was instantly impressed. It was the first wine she had ever tasted that hadn’t left her throat dry and prompted an instant gag reflex. However, knowing Courtney was watching her with an arrogant smirk and unwilling to admit that the woman had won her over, she wrinkled up her nose in disgust and made a loud “ick” sound.

  “No way! There is no way that you don’t like this! It’s practically sweeter than juice.” Courtney pointed at the bottle in disbelief and took a sip of her own to make sure it had not for some reason gone bad.

  “I don’t like juice.” Tess kept a straight face, amused by Courtney’s astonished doubt.

  Satisfied that the wine hadn’t gone bad, Courtney turned her attention back to Tess. “Well, you have terrible taste. I don’t know if we can be friends anymore.”

  Tess smirked arrogantly, “That’s okay, I didn’t want to be your friend anyways, I just needed a babysitter for a few hours,” she yawned dramatically, “my life is exhausting.”

  Courtney’s jaw dropped in shock and amusement. “A babysitter huh? She set her glass on the counter and looked at Tess mischievously. Well I don’t work for free, so I guess now you need to pay up.”

  Tess’s smirk melted when she saw the challenge in Courtney’s eyes. She was suddenly nervous, but not necessarily in a bad way, and the sip of wine she had taken seemed to be spreading a warm feeling in her belly. Her brain told her that it was time to go, but every other part of her body rooted her to the kitchen floor. She surprised even herself when she heard her own voice reply, “Sorry, I’m all out of cash.”

  Courtney could suddenly feel every nerve ending in her body. Every ounce of will power that was telling her to keep her distance from Tess dissipated with the mischievous look that twinkled in the woman’s eyes. She wondered how far the woman was willing to take the game they were playing. She set her glass on the island and reached for Tess’s waist, pulling just enough to close the distance between them. She turned, just enough to pin Tess between the island and herself. Though their midsections were pressed firmly together, Courtney removed the hand from Tess’s waist and instead, put a hand on either side of her hips, resting them just behind Tess on the island counter. She leaned in enough that her nose brushed Tess’s ear and whispered, “Well what should we do about that?”

  Tess’s entire body was suddenly on fire. She could feel the heat from Courtney’s breath dampening her neck and had to put her hands behind her, gripping the island with her hands to stop them from entwining themselves into Courtney’s dark hair. She tried to think of something clever, but her mind was jumbled by the feel of Courtney so close to her. When Courtney nibbled on the delicate skin just underneath Tess’s ear, she thought for sure she would melt to the floor. Her breath caught in her throat, and before she realized any sound had come out, she heard herself, “Mmmmm.”

  Courtney’s own body lit up when she heard the mewl escape Tess’s lips. What had started as playful banter suddenly had Courtney feeling on fire. She gripped the counter a little tighter to keep her hands where they were and made her way down Tess’s neck, fanning delicate kisses and hot breath lightly down her collar bone. When the second sound left Tess’s lips, Courtney mirrored it and moved her way up to fan kisses lightly up Tess’s jawline and back to the spot just below her ear. When she felt Tess shiver against her, she fought herself for control. She kissed the spot below Tess’s ear one last time teasingly and using every ounce of control she had left, pulled herself away from Tess and planted a smirk on her face. “I suppose that will do,” she whispered, her voice suddenly coarse.

  Tess’s eyes popped open, her breath heavy and her knuckles white from gripping the counter to keep herself upright. Her entire body was throbbing. The arrogant smirk on Courtney’s face had parts of Tess’s body throbbing even harder. Not willing to be bested, she willed her breathing to slow, calming herself before she met Courtney’s smirk with one of her own and reached beside her for the glass of wine. With one motion, she lifted the glass and drank what was left, lifting her finger to wipe a drop that had escaped to the corner of her mouth. “You’re right, not bad.”

  This time, when Courtney’s jaw dropped, it wasn’t in playful shock. “You little liar…” She all but whispered in awe. When Tess smirked again and tilted the glass at her before placing it on the island, Courtney grinned.

  “Alright, I guess you can still be my friend.”

  Both woman laughed in unison, and Tess was grateful for the break in tension. She didn’t know what she was getting herself into, standing with this woman, in her kitchen, in the middle of the night, with wine… but she knew she was enjoying it. She wasn’t thinking about anything except the moment in front of her, and the moment in front of her was made up of long legs, long hair, an impish grin, and a gorgeous body. “What makes you think I want to be your friend anymore?” She crossed her arms in front of her. “You can’t just friend and unfriend me on your whims.”

  “Me?” Courtney raised her hand to her chest in shock. “You called me a babysitter!”

  “Oh… yeah, I guess we’re even then.” Tess grinned. When Courtney moved beside her again, reaching for her own glass of wine to take another sip, Tess couldn’t help but stare. Courtney pointed at her glass, “Do you want more?” Tess nodded her head in a silent yes, and before she could think about what she was doing, she reached to take the glass out of Courtney’s hand. She set it on the counter beside them and lifted her hand to curl it under the hollow of Courtney’s ear and back to the nape of her neck. She rubbed her thumb on the spot under Courtney’s ear that the woman had teased Tess with moments ago and felt the warmth spread across her belly again when Courtney’s eyes closed in appreciation. She pulled Courtney’s face close to hers and fanned their lips together lightly, mirroring the first time Courtney had kissed her on her front porch, before lightly nipping at
the bottom of Courtney’s lip with her teeth.

  Courtney had used all the willpower that evening with the woman standing in front of her. When Tess nipped at Courtney’s lip, her body lit on fire. She curled her hand under the line of Tess’s shirt, and her fingers met the small of her back. She pulled the woman gently against her and kissed Tess, using her tongue to part Tess’s lips, she pressed them firmly together and before she knew it, they were pressed against the island again. She slid her knee between Tess’s and leaned forward just enough that her thigh began throbbing nearly as hard as Tess. She hooked her thumbs in the belt loops of Tess’s jeans and pulled their midsections snugly together.

  Tess ran her fingers into Courtney’s hair, massaging the nape of her neck with one hand, in and out of Courtney’s dark tresses and sliding her other along Courtney’s ribcage a little more firmly. Just as she felt Courtney’s hand slide under the back of her shirt, they heard a loud click, and the light above the front door clicked on.

  Both woman startled, and Courtney jumped back, leaning against the counter behind her. Across from her, Tess adjusted her shirt and both women attempted to look as guiltless as possible.

  When Chris appeared in the doorway, he looked at both women, and a dimple appeared on the corner of his cheek as a smile spread widely across his face. “Am I interrupting?”

  Tess looked at the man, almost recognizing the dimples that popped out on his attractive cheeks, and looked back at Courtney questioningly. Courtney groaned in disgust. “Tess, this is my little brother, Chris. Chris, this is Tess.” Courtney couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or relief that flooded across Tess’s face at the revelation.

  “I believe we have already met, right beautiful?” Chris shot his sister a quick look, masked to Tess by his smile. “I don’t mean to interrupt, let me just grab some water and I will be out of your hair.”