Hot Christmas Nights

by Rachel Bailey

  She glanced out at the water and then back. “My work and your friendship are the only good things in my life at the moment. They’re…they’re what’s keeping me going.”

  “What scenario are you imagining here?” he demanded. “That we’ll make love and then never talk to each other again?”

  “The truth?”

  He gave a hard nod. “The truth.”

  “Fine.” She folded her arms. “Here’s one scenario for you. We make love here in this amazing place and have a wonderful time.”

  He thrust out his jaw. “Sounds great so far.”

  “We go home to Belltrees next week as planned and continue the affair there because we had so much fun here and…well, why wouldn’t we?”

  He pursed his lips and nodded. “Yep.”

  “And that’s where cold hard reality slaps us upside the head.”

  “How so?”

  “You’ll be attentive and lovely—” Because that’s how he always was with his girlfriends “—dropping around to spend time with me…until my mother’s snide remarks and resentment drive you away.”

  “Whoa!’ He held up both hands. ‘Wait, I—”

  “You asked me to tell you! Do you want to hear it or not?”

  He glared at her, but subsided with a growl.

  “You’ll start wanting to see me outside of my home, wanting me to meet you at your place, at the pub, at the golf club, but then you’ll resent the fact that I have to leave early to get home to my mother. That’ll make me feel guilty and I’ll start resenting you for putting those demands on me.”

  He stared at her, evidently appalled, but she forced herself to continue. “We’ll carry on in that fashion for a long time because we have so much respect for each other and care about each other so much, but eventually you’ll give me an ultimatum to choose between you and my mother and, Josh, no matter how much I might want to, I can’t abandon her. We’ll have a huge fight and break up.”

  His mouth opened and closed.

  “We’ll never be as good friends again after that, but what I think will happen is that we’ll both be so hurt we won’t be able to stand looking at each other. I’d have to convince my mother to leave Belltrees. Either that or sell my half of the practice and find work elsewhere.”

  “No!”

  “I’d have lost the job I loved and the friend I loved and I’d have gained nothing.”

  His nostrils flared. “That’s what you see?”

  “Yes.” And it scared her witless.

  He dragged a hand down his face.

  Her chest clenched. He looked shell-shocked, flattened, as if she’d just rammed him with her station wagon. She forced herself to continue, “So you see…”

  He reached out briefly to cover her hands. “I do see.”

  She waited for the weight to lift from her shoulders, waited for her smile to feel natural rather than a mask frozen to her face. She kept right on waiting. An itch started up between her shoulder blades.

  “I’ve been an idiot.” He gestured around them. “All of this sun, sand and sea have gone to my head. Ordinarily I’d have never tried to violate that boundary.”

  The smile he sent her didn’t reach his eyes. She moistened her lips. “We’ve both been working so hard over the last few months, I don’t think we should be surprised that the moment we find ourselves at a loose end that… I mean, it’s only natural our minds should turn to other things, right?”

  He nodded.

  Neither of them spoke. Eventually she picked up her book, loathing the awkwardness that stretched between them.

  She started when he shot to his feet. “I’m going for a dip.”

  He didn’t ask her to join him.

  As she watched him stalk away, she prayed things would return to normal as soon as possible. If she ever lost his friendship…

  Her heart pounded, but it was an old sense of loss that beat at her—the same sense of loss she’d experienced that night eight years ago when he’d walked away after kissing her. The sense that a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity had presented itself to her and she’d squandered it by getting drunk and throwing up.

  “Don’t be an idiot,” she muttered, settling back with her book. Protecting the most important friendship of her life was the smart thing to do. They’d just let the romance of this place go to their heads. Which was understandable given neither of them had had sex in a while.

  Don’t think about sex!

  She concentrated on her breathing and forced herself to focus on the beauty of her surroundings. The air was drenched with coconut-scented sun cream and the sun twinkled in a thousand points of light on clear emerald water, creating the perfect foil for the fine white sand of the beach. Shadows cast by the palm trees swayed and danced reminding her of the way she and Josh had danced together last night—slow and dreamy as if the real world couldn’t touch them.

  Heat flushed through her. She adjusted her sun hat and flapped at her t-shirt, but neither stopped her skin from growing warm and sticky. What she needed was a cool dip but she didn’t want to invade Josh’s space, and she didn’t know how to go swimming in the nets while ignoring him at the same time.

  Damn this awkwardness!

  She renewed her sunscreen. She feigned interest in her book.

  Josh swam for a long time.

  When he finally emerged from the water, she pushed to her feet with as bright a grin as she could muster. “A dip sounds like an excellent idea. I need a cool down from all of this sun.”

  All he said was, “Water’s great.”

  The water wasn’t just great—it was divine. She floated on her back for a long time listening to the rhythmic shush of waves washing up to shore, the cries of seagulls and the laughter of children.

  Life is good, Erin Timms. You have no reason to mope. You’re holidaying in one of the most spectacular places on earth—relish it. You and Josh will work it out.

  They had in the past and they would now. She just needed to trust him. And herself.

  Eventually her stomach growled informing her it was time for food. She headed to shore feeling oddly refreshed.

  She didn’t glance at Josh as she fell down onto her towel beside him. “You were right. It’s glorious out there.”

  “You look better.”

  She risked glancing at him and her heart unclenched a fraction. “So do you.” Some of the strain around his eyes had eased. She told herself she was glad they’d cleared the air, had reset boundaries. “I’m famished, is it lunchtime yet?”

  The grin he sent her curled her toes.

  No toe curling!

  “It’s only just gone eleven. What time did you come down here?”

  She lifted a shoulder and then let it drop. “Haven’t you noticed how the sun is streaming through our windows by six o’clock?”

  “Nope. Normal people are still asleep then.”

  “But the beach at that time is utterly amazing—so still and fresh.”

  “You’ve been up for five hours and all you’ve eaten in that time is a mango?”

  “And a bunch of grapes.”

  “It’s just as well I raced up to the shop while you were swimming then.”

  From the sack beside him he pulled out cartons of chocolate milk and bags of salt and vinegar chips. She laughed and for a moment everything between them returned to normal.

  “It’s so quiet here in the morning.” She tore open one of the bags of crisps. “Which would you choose? To live on a beautiful twenty-acre property—it’s your dream parcel of land—but you have to live in a caravan, or would you rather your dream house—it has everything you’ve ever wanted in a house—but neighbors hem you in on all sides?”

  “You mean my house would have a theatre room, and a three car garage for all the toys, and…and a fireman’s pole?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Then I’m taking the house.”

  CHAPTER SIX

  Josh watched Erin sip her chocolate milk and wished he
could slake his thirst as easily.

  After the horror scenario she’d just presented him with he shouldn’t have had an ounce of thirst left. It should’ve been annihilated to within an inch of its life.

  She was right, though, and thank God she’d spoken up before he’d done something stupid to risk their friendship and their business partnership. The thought of not having Erin in his life froze him to the core. Her declaration that she’d have to leave Belltrees if things went wrong made him break out again in a cold sweat. Erin belonged in Belltrees. If anyone had to leave it’d be him.

  If he didn’t rock the boat, no one would have to leave.

  She was doing her best to act natural, but the way her gaze slid from his and the lines of strain around her mouth told a different story. He’d brought her to this gorgeous place to unwind and all he’d done was stress her out more. He had to stop acting like a hormone-ridden teenager and get things on an even footing between them again.

  He rested back, arms behind his head, deliberately casual. “Let me guess, you’d choose the acreage with the caravan?”

  “Without hesitation.”

  “Hermit.”

  “But I’d be a hermit with my own private lagoon and an orchard.”

  But what would she plant there—mango or apple trees?

  The smile she sent him was strained. He straightened. “I’m sorry I suggested the friends-with-benefits thing.” He used her euphemism because it made a potentially huge mistake sound almost innocuous—and at the moment he was all about removing any threat from their situation and easing her mind.

  She glanced across at him. “That’s okay.”

  He reached out and covered her hand. “I want you to know I’d never do anything to knowingly hurt you. I’d never do anything to harm our friendship. It means too much to me.”

  Her eyes scanned his and he knew the moment she believed him because her shoulders relaxed. When she said, “Thank you,” he felt as if he’d won the lottery.

  He rested back on his elbows. “It’s New Year’s Eve the day after tomorrow.”

  “Uh huh.”

  “I was thinking we could go on a tour to Green Island. Once we’re there, we can snorkel the Great Barrier Reef or check it out in a semi-submersible boat…or both. Then we could explore the island until we’re exhausted. It’s a full day tour, but the island has a resort so refreshments would be near at hand.”

  She leaned towards him. “A whole day on the reef?”

  “The catamaran leaves Cairns at 10:30 am and doesn’t get back until 4:30 pm. The concierge can book it for us. Should we do it?”

  Her whole face lit up. “Yes!”

  He laughed. “Good, because I took the liberty of booking it earlier.”

  “I’ve always wanted to see the reef.”

  Had she? What else had she always wanted to do?

  He coughed the thought away. “The resort has a banquet on the beach planned in the evening. There’ll be a band. Apparently they set up a wooden dance floor. The concierge suggested we join in with some of the other singles to make up a bigger table.”

  No cozy candlelit tables for two for them.

  She nodded emphatically. “Excellent!”

  “And there’ll be fireworks at midnight.”

  “Better and better.”

  That took care of the day after tomorrow. As long as they stayed part of a crowd there’d be no temptation to pull her into his arms and kiss her.

  Correction, there might be temptation, but there wouldn’t be opportunity.

  “What do you have planned for the rest of the day?”

  He glanced across as she asked the question. He’d wanted to raise something that had been troubling him since their earlier conversation, but his gaze fixed on her lips and his gut gave such a kick he knew he needed to put some distance between them for a while.

  He needed to do something physical that would tire him out. “Apparently there are kite surfing lessons at a place farther down that way.” He gestured down towards the far end of the beach. “I thought I might give it a try.”

  She blinked. “Really?”

  Damn! Was that interest in her eyes? Was kite surfing something she’d always wanted to try too? He swallowed and forced himself to ask, “Interested?”

  “No, thank you.” She laid back and grabbed her book. “I plan on doing a whole lot more of this lazing on the beach thing. After lunch I might go exploring the rock pools.” She gestured to the opposite end of the beach to the kite surfing.

  He let out a long slow breath. An afternoon away from each other would give them both some much-needed breathing space.

  He sat up. “How about we meet for pre-dinner cocktails in the bar at six-thirty?”

  “Make it by the pool and you have yourself a date.”

  His heart tripped at the word date. Not that she meant it that way. He rose. “Wear your swimmers underneath your clothes. I have my heart set on drinking at least one cocktail in the pool.”

  If the truth be told, he had his heart set on catching at least one glimpse of her in that sexy bikini. He had no intention of going beyond the bounds of friendship—no intention of touching—but he was still a man, and looking couldn’t hurt.

  The breath jammed in Josh’s throat as Erin wove her way between tables and chairs towards the table he’d snaffled by the pool. Instinct screamed at him to rise, to take her hand and kiss her cheek—to breathe her in deeply and slowly.

  All actions of a lover.

  He forced himself to stay in his seat and toss a peanut into his mouth. “You’ve been hitting the resort shops again.”

  She glanced down at herself.

  “You look great,” he added. He might not be her lover, but he could still give her a compliment.

  “Thanks.” The smile she sent him was shy, but it didn’t hide her pleasure.

  She wore a deceptively simple shift dress that stopped an inch or two above her knees and tied with a silken cord at the place where her breastbone dipped. The multiple shades of apricot, peach and pale yellow highlighted the tan she’d started to develop after only two days at the beach. However, it was the utter fineness of the cotton clinging to her that made his mouth dry—the knowledge that only the flimsiest barrier of material stood between her and utter nakedness.

  He was rescued from tongue-tied awkwardness when their drinks and a plate of fresh bar snacks arrived. He cleared his throat. “I took the liberty of ordering. You chose mojitos yesterday. I figured it was my turn today. I give you Singapore Slings.” He lifted his glass and saluted her.

  She sat and took a sip. Her eyes widened. “Whoa! That packs a punch.”

  Which is why he’d also ordered a carafe of water along with the bar snacks. He shrugged, aiming for casual, but at the back of his mind he told himself one drink was all he’d be able to handle if he didn’t want to make a drunken fool of himself. “We can take our time. We have nowhere to go, no appointments to keep, nothing to do except lap up all of this relaxation.”

  He wanted her to de-stress.

  “No emergency house calls to make,” she said, selecting a cashew.

  He stretched out his legs. “No emergency surgeries.”

  She leant back. “Utter luxury.”

  He wanted her to be happy. The simplicity of that desire made him blink. He wanted Erin to be happy. But she wasn’t.

  She glanced at him. “You look very serious. What’s up?”

  He’d resolved during the kite surfing not to raise the topic, but one glance at her face with its warm concern and his resolve crumbled. He and Erin had always been honest with each other. Sometimes brutally. “Something’s been troubling me ever since our conversation this morning.”

  She’d started to reach for her drink, but she pulled her hand back and eyed him with a frown. “Okay, out with it.”

  She said it without hesitation, her desire to put his mind at rest proof positive of the depth of her friendship because he knew how difficult this morn
ing’s conversation had been for her too.

  Yet she hadn’t shied away from instigating it.

  He rubbed both hands back through his hair. “This morning you said that your job and our friendship were the only good things in your life.”

  Her gaze dropped. She fiddled with her straw.

  “That shocked me.”

  “I didn’t mean to—”

  He held up a hand and her words stumbled to a halt. “I hadn’t noticed. I hadn’t realized. I haven’t been much of a friend to you lately.”

  “So not true! Look around. I wouldn’t be here on this glorious holiday if it weren’t for you.”

  “And yet you’re still not happy.”

  She froze. Her gaze darted to her drink, her lap, the pool. Eventually she swallowed. “That’s not your fault. And for the record, I’m enjoying all of this.”

  Enjoyment wasn’t the same as happiness. By happiness he wasn’t talking about wild delight and unbridled joy. He meant contentment—being happy with one’s lot. “You haven’t been happy since you moved back in with your mother.”

  She didn’t deny it.

  “Why are you still there? She’s recovered from her surgery. It’s time for you to get on with your life.”

  “She’s frightened, Josh—frightened she’ll have another heart attack. And she’s lonely. I can’t just abandon her.”

  “Time will alleviate her fear. As for being lonely, she has no one to blame but herself. How many invitations has she had in the last six months? More than either one of us could count on our fingers and toes. She’s shunned every single one of them.”

  Erin didn’t say anything.

  He dragged a hand down his face. “Look, Erin, the woman is emotionally manipulating you. You’re not dumb. You have to realize that.”

  Erin stared at Josh and her heart thumped.

  His frown deepened. “What I don’t understand is why you’re letting Eunice bully you.”

  Her stomach roiled. She didn’t want to talk about this. If she slipped off her dress and stood in front of him in her blue bikini, dove into the pool tossing a flirty grin at him over her shoulder, that’d divert his attention.

  But what would it lead to?