The Masquerade

by Rae, Alexa

He stared at me incredulously. "He was an Undead. That right there is reason enough, but at the time it didn't matter who he was. He was hungry and he was coming after you. I didn't think twice when I heard you scream."

  "An Undead was after me?"

  Ben frowned, "They don't trust me to bring you back so they're starting to come look for you themselves. I've taken care of every one of them that has come near Covington."

  I nodded and my gaze fell to the ground along with my expression. "What will the Undead do to me when they find me?"

  Ben was in front of me. The space between us was minimal. He grabbed a hold of my face, desperately searching for my eyes. I lifted my gaze and he trapped it immediately. "Listen to me, Ella. I'm not going to let them touch you. I'll rip their arms off before they can lay a finger on you, understand?"

  His voice was harsh and demanding, but it still managed to melt my heart. I couldn't focus on the way I felt about Ben. He came back to Covington to kidnap me and hand me over to venomous creatures of the night. I couldn't ignore that. When did he change his mind? Did he change his mind? He said he wasn't going to hurt me, but that didn't mean much knowing what he was and what his intentions were. He got close to me and I let my guard down. I trusted him, even after I promised myself I would never trust another guy, and it almost got me killed.

  "You used me," I mumbled, my voice lost in my throat.

  His eyes narrowed. "What?"

  I shrugged. "You came here with a plan to manipulate me, right? You used my emotions and my demons against me so that I would trust you. It's the only way I would have let my guard down." Parts of the puzzle began to come together. He knew where I lived. He must have known about my past. Hell, everyone did.

  I stepped out of his reach, feeling the weight of the situation press against my shoulders. "You knew about my past going into this, didn't you? My brother's suicide and my shit for brains father." I threw my hands up, feeling the anger override the fear and the confusion and the hurt. My eyes watered, but I kept my voice firm. "It's the only way I could have let you in so easily."

  Ben stared at me, dumbfounded and angry. "I never used you, Ella. I came to Covington to kidnap you, emotions aside. I had to save my brothers, but when I found you everything I worked hard to push away flooded back to the surface." His voice began to rise as he spoke. "I knew from the moment we met in the alley that you were a tortured soul, haunted by something in your past. I also knew you refused to let it rule your life. When I saw you dancing on that park bench in the square, singing your heart out to a mediocre pop song, I lost it. I saw this poor, haunted girl having the time of her life, letting herself go. She wasn't going to let her demons control her."

  I listened to him, feeling my stomach clench. The tears spilled over my eyes, but for different reasons now. Ben closed the space between us again, but he kept his hands to himself this time. "Before we officially met in the graveyard, before the concert in the square, I knew I couldn't let the Undead take you. I would say there was something about you, but it wasn't something it was everything. I wanted to know you. I wanted to protect you from everything in the world that could hurt you. I wanted to know your pain and take it away. I wanted you." He brushed a strand of my hair behind my ear. "I'll always want you. Only you."

  His hands moved to cup my cheeks. He held my face tenderly. The pads of his thumbs brushed away my tears. I allowed myself to get lost in the warmth that radiated from his gaze as his eyes bore into mine. I believed him, but I couldn't fall completely into him this time. I had to hold myself back. I was scared and in love with a monster who killed people to survive.

  "Everything I know about you, I found out from you. Your past is still a mystery to me and I'm ready to listen when you're ready to talk about it. I never used you. I lied to you about certain things, but I never pretended to be anything other than the monster I am."

  My body began to shake again. A sob ripped from my chest and the tears continued to spill over. I turned away from him, drawing his hands back from my face. I loved him and I trusted him with every ounce of my being, but for once it wasn't enough. He was a monster. Loving him was incredibly and undoubtedly wrong. I was in danger of breaking down again now that this new door had been opened. I was scared to be with him.

  "Ella," Ben pleaded, "Tell me what's wrong." His hands grasped my neck, searching for me. He tried to pull me to face him, but I willed against his touch. My hands clasped his in my own and pulled them back to his sides.

  I sucked in a deep breath. "I need you to take me home, Ben. Please."

  I could feel the hurt in his eyes, piercing into my soul and taking a stab at my heart. I tried not to wince at the physical pain I felt in his reaction. I had to hold myself together before I fell apart completely in front of him. He said nothing. The silence was eating me alive, as ironic as it seemed. There was a shard of ice in my chest that chilled me to the bone. I felt sick, as though my stomach was deteriorating inside my body. I needed to get home.

  "Please Ben."

  He gave one short nod. "I'll take you home."

  That was it. There wasn't anything left to exchange. He stepped forward and let me walk in front of him. He remained close enough for comfort, but with enough distance to show me he respected my decision. I felt my throat closing, the water works threatening to start, knowing what Ben assumed. He knew I was afraid. He knew it was the right way for me to respond.

  He didn't know that, despite everything, his presence still brought me comfort. I melted into place by his side. I was supposed to recoil in reaction to his touch. I was supposed be terrified of a man, who was not only dead, but had taken countless lives of others. The information was unsettling, but deep down I knew it didn't matter. I still wanted him, which was why I had to let him go. I'd was too close. So close that the wrong was desperately searching for a way to override the right.

  When we made our way back to the house, I noticed someone standing on the porch, waiting for our return. When we neared the gravel drive my eyes focused on his face. It was Jesse, the stranger who let Cam bite me.

  I halted to a stop the second I saw him. Ben tensed beside me, waiting for my reaction. He cast a glance over to Jesse and descended down the porch steps. His pace was slow, he was being cautious. He didn't want to frighten me. I should have been scared, but I felt nothing. Ben was with me.

  Jesse stopped a few feet away and tossed something to Ben. His eyes never left me. It wasn't a stare that made me uneasy. He looked at me as though he were trying to convince himself I was real.

  "Thanks," Ben said, holding a set of car keys in his hand.

  Jesse cleared his throat. His eyes were still on me when he spoke. "I'm sorry."

  His tone was sincere but it was his eyes told me he regretted the night's previous events. Still, there was a small note of resentment in his voice. Ben's decision had not been popular. He wanted to live and I was standing in the way. I couldn't blame him for that reason.

  I couldn't answer him. I swallowed and responded with a small nod. Ben took that as his cue and motioned to the car I hadn't seen before. The sleek black muscle car was parked in the grass beside the gravel. It was an older build that I didn't care to identify. I knew cars well, but tonight was not the night to show off.

  Ben unlocked the door and I slipped inside. Without a word, he walked around to the other side, slid in and started the car. The rumble of the engine vibrated through the floorboard beneath my feet. I took note of the purr and the interior design and predicted a Chevelle. It was hard to tell in the dark. I consumed myself with the model of the car to pass the time. I stared straight out the windshield without sneaking a glimpse at Ben. I couldn't with fear that I might give in to him.

  He drove out of the woods and turned onto a couple streets that I immediately recognized. Camouflaged by a barrage of trees, his house was only a few streets away from mine. How had I never noticed it? He pulled up to my driveway and killed the engine. The throaty rumble would catch the attention of
my neighbors if they were home.

  We sat frozen. Neither of us moved for several moments. I drowned myself into the darkness of the car, waiting to disappear. Ben's eyes bore into something through the windshield, his expression unreadable.

  "Is your mom home?"

  I shook my head without moving my eyes from the dashboard that I had been focusing on. I should have said something, but I couldn't find the courage to open my mouth. I wasn't ready to talk yet. Every attempt I made to speak, the words ended up snared in my throat.

  "Are you going to be okay?"

  My hand found door handle and pushed it open. "Thank you for taking me home," I said quietly. My feet hit the pavement, but before I could climb out of the car I felt his hand capture my forearm.

  His intense eyes found mine when I turned to him. "Answer me, Ella."

  "How am I supposed to be okay?" I responded, my voice barely a notch above a whisper.

  He nodded, his eyes hardening to blue steel. He worked the muscle in his jaw while I waited for him to speak. "I can't change what I am."

  "I know."

  His hand slid down my arm until he held my own in his. His fingers slipped through mine and he grasped my hand as though to remind me of every intimate moment we shared together. I wanted to sigh in the simple touch of our hands. Skin against skin, a connection that drove me insane until I fought for more. Tonight, my hand was limp in his. I couldn't fight this time.

  I watched him swallow. "I'm not right for you."

  "No, you're not," I agreed trying to swallow the lump forming in the back of my throat. My stomach clenched as the words left my mouth. I couldn't push away the feeling that I was lying to myself. Something inside of me was screaming in protest.

  "But this," he raised our joined hands, "feels fucking right." His eyes flashed to mine. "I know I can't have you and I don't blame you for wanting out, but I'm not going to stop protecting you. It's my fault the Undead are looking for you and I promise I won't stop until I know you're safe again.

  I sat there stunned. He was still going to protect me even if I didn't choose to be with him. "Why?" I asked him, my voice hoarse. The tears threatened to come back which meant I needed to get the hell out of that car.

  "You know why?"

  We were quiet, gazing into the other's eyes, desperate for a way out. I wanted this to end. I wanted to go back a few short hours, when I didn't know the truth. When I wasn't aware of how far I'd fallen. For once I caught myself before I hit the bottom and I had good reason to back out.

  A single tear slipped over my cheek and trickled over my chin. Ben's eyes followed it, pain breaking into his hardened stare. "Goodnight Ben," I whispered before I pulled my hand out of his.

  I got out of the car. As I shut the door, I heard Ben respond, "Goodnight Ella."

  My heart wrenched as I felt the weight of the night crash over my shoulders. I turned away from the car. I could feel Ben's gaze follow me to my front door. Then, I heard the sound of his engine. In a moment, he was gone. I unlocked the door with the spare key that was amazingly still in my back pocket. I wasn't sure of the time, but the sky was gradually fading into a lighter blue to welcome the morning.

  More tears stained my cheeks when I shut my door behind me. My back fell against the wood and I slid until my butt hit the floor. I choked back a sob. My chest felt as though it would cave in with each breath. My head fell into my hands as I cried. The reality of the night, the creatures I'd been exposed to seemed part of a nightmare that I would eventually wake up from. I prayed I'd wake up, but I continued to sit on the floor with the taste of my tears on my tongue until the dim morning light began to shine through the windows. I never woke up.

  Twenty-Two

  The sound of my phone ringing pulled me from the darkness. My hand smacked against my nightstand as I fumbled for my cellphone. Finally, I grasped the vibrating piece of shit that woke me up. I turned my head to the side on the pillow so that I could put the phone to my ear.

  "What?" I croaked.

  "Ella?"

  My eyes snapped open at the sound of Ava's voice on the other line. "Ava?" I pulled myself up to a sitting position. My neck was stiff and the skin on my bandaged shoulder burned. I pulled the phone away from my mouth and winced.

  "I was going to ask if you're still good to babysit tonight, but you don't sound too good. Are you okay honey?"

  "Oh!" I exclaimed, my eyes darting to the clock on my nightstand. It was Saturday. I promised to babysit Ava's daughter, Mallie, at six. It was a quarter past five already. I'd slept almost twelve hours. "Yes, of course. Six o'clock right?"

  "That would be perfect. Are you sure you're okay?" The concern in her voice was comforting. I loved Ava and it touched my heart knowing she cared about my wellbeing. I'd only known her for the past two years I worked at the diner but we formed an instant bond. She was like my second mom. Her daughter Mallie was the baby sister I never had.

  I forced a laugh. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just woke up from a nap. I'll be over there in a few."

  "Thanks, Ella!"

  I gave a faint smile at the excitement in her voice. Josh was probably taking her somewhere really special outside of Covington. On date nights, the sassy four year old expected me to bring a DVD from my Disney movie stash and a bag of giant marshmallows that I even got a little bit excited thinking about. Not tonight though. Tonight I would wear a fake smile and pretend everything was okay. I would pretend Ben never came to Covington. I would tell myself that zombies were works of fiction. The wound on my shoulder came from my two left feet.

  .

  After I showered and changed I went downstairs to find another note from my mom taped to the counter. She left for work just before I woke up. I was surprised she didn't wake me, but also relieved. Missing her meant one less excuse I would have to give in regards to my lethargic behavior.

  My movements were not my own as I maneuvered around the kitchen. I had my purse packed with junk food and movies. Before I worked most nights at the diner, I had a regular babysitting job for most of the people in the neighborhood. I missed watching over kids and now it was mostly Mallie who I cleared my nights for.

  I locked up the house, got in my car, and drove. I didn't turn on the stereo. I didn't hum a tune under my breath. I sat in silence with my eyes glued to the road. I pulled the car off one of the main streets and onto a dirt path that brought me directly to their house. They lived in a nice, newly renovated house with two stories and a koi pond in the front yard. The woods surrounding the clapboard house seemed to envelope the house with serenity.

  I bit down on my bottom lip and steered the car around the bend. I fought back the trepidation that the woods now filled me with. I could scratch running for my life, through the woods, in the dark, off my bucket list. I wasn't going near them anytime soon.

  I parked my car off to the side of the driveway and quickly slipped out of the front street knowing Mallie was waiting for me by the door. Sure enough, when I rounded the corner of the house to their front porch, the door stood wide open with Mallie standing in the middle of the frame dressed as Pocahontas.

  "Hi Ella!" She exclaimed without moving away from the door. "Guess what?"

  I stopped and put my hands to the hips. "If you say chicken,"

  "Chicken butt!" She shrieked.

  I clamped my hands against my ears and waddled past her into the house. "Every time," I stressed and Mallie laughed. I felt her tiny hands grip the sides of my sides. I spun in response and listened to her shriek with laugher as I picked her up and swung her around.

  Ava stepped into the room. I noted her long, dark red hair that was pulled back into a loose bun and her sleek black cocktail dress. I shot her a grin and a nod of approval, which she returned with a little curtsy. Josh, a real estate agent/local musician, came into the room dressed in a black suit and kissed Mallie on the cheek.

  "Be good for Ella," he said to her, shot me a friendly smile, and attempted to hurry Ava out the door. "We're going to b
e late, Babe."

  Ava raised her hand over her shoulder and waved him off. She smiled at me. "Miss Mallie can stay up until the movie's over." Her eyes moved to the little girl in my arms. "Which means right after the movie. No but's, and's, or pretty please with sugar on top."

  "Okay mommy," Mallie drawled, playing with a strand of my hair that she curled around her index finger.

  "We should be home around midnight." Ava looked up at me. "Thanks again Ella."

  I smiled and managed to shoo her out the door with Mallie's help. After the back door was locked, I set Mallie down, and turned to face the kitchen that was open to the living room.

  "Ellaaa," Mallie toyed with my name the way she always did. I loved hearing my name come out of that little girl's mouth.

  "Mallieee," I teased. She put her hand to her hip in response and gave me the look that told me to stop being ridiculous. I laughed at the serious, adult like expression on her face. "Oh Mal, there is just too much sass in this house between the two of us."

  She waved her hand and blinked many times, as I had known her so well to do. "I know." I handed her my purse and she quickly pulled out the movie I'd stashed in my bag. She examined the DVD case in her hands. I watched her eyebrows rise. "Oh, I love Hercules."

  "I couldn't pass up that hunk," I admitted, shrugging my shoulders.

  "He's so delicious," Mallie expressed. I choked back a laugh in response to her diction that she managed to pick up from me.

  My mind drifted momentarily to Ben. A frown fell on my face instantly just as Mallie turned away from me to put the movie into the DVD player. I bit down hard on my tongue trying to ignore the sharp pain in my chest as I imagined his strong, calloused hand holding mine. The feel of his touch made me shudder. I swallowed and shook my head to push the thought away.

  I didn't realize how long I was standing in the middle of the kitchen until I heard Mallie calling my name, telling me the movie was starting. I blinked and walked into the living room to find Mallie sitting on the couch, mesmerized by the Muses on the television screen. I didn't have the heart to tell her that the actual Muses, as told in Greek Mythology, were not five sassy black women.