Rebirth - The Beautiful Fallen

by K. D. Peters

I felt myself blush a little, but I didn’t attempt to push him away either. “I don’t understand though. Why are you apologizing to me when I was the one that got myself into this mess?” I asked him.

  “Because it was my fault. I’m the one who pushed you away today. And I’m the one who let you go out there alone, when I knew that she was out there somewhere.” Chris admitted, closing his eyes.

  I had to shake my head as he pulled back slightly and opened his beautiful eyes to look into mine again. “You know, I don’t think I understand any of this anymore. I haven’t been able to understand you from the day I met you. You do all of these things for me, you risk your life for me, and yet you still treat me like you don’t really want to be around me a lot of the time. Just why are you doing all of this anyway? Are you trying to mess with me? Or is it only because of Saffron?” I asked him. Honestly, they were hard questions for me to voice, but I also had to know now. If anything, I had to know why he kept stringing me along. And if I even could make myself get over him.

  Chris just looked at me for a moment, then let out a long breath as he looked down and shook his head. “I guess I’m not doing so well with this, am I?” he muttered. It was funny, but he actually sounded mad at himself again.

  “What do you mean?” I asked him.

  For a moment, Chris was quiet. I wondered just what he was thinking. Maybe he was even trying to think of a good response to what I'd asked. But then, to my surprise, he leaned forward again and gently pressed his lips to mine. I felt myself blink a few times, then closed my eyes and leaned into it. I had always read in romance novels that the first kiss is magical, and I'll concede that it's very true. Even though I was surprised, I found that it was easy for me to just go with it and enjoy it.

  After what seemed like a happy eternity, he pulled back again. "I'm sorry. I'll be the first to admit that I'm not that good with others. I've never been, and a lot of that was his fault. I wasn't really raised to be with others for the first half of my life, and when I started meeting others like me, it took me a long time to understand just how it was to be around them and be normal. I guess even to understand that I didn't always have to fight along for my survival. Meeting Zane and eventually Will showed me that. But something's always been missing, even then. It was always something that I couldn't put my finger on. But from the day I found you, it's felt like I may have found that something. And as I've gotten to know you and be with you, it's only grown for me." he explained softly.

  I nodded, although I couldn't say that I was that sure that I was following him. But I at least got some of what he'd been saying. Apparently, Chris just wasn't that used to being around others and interacting with them. And he'd always felt like something was missing. That was, until he'd met me. "So, you really do care about me?" I heard myself ask.

  Chris gently pulled me in close, kissing me again. I felt myself instantly melt into it. I didn't think I would've ever imagined this moment happening. In a way, I was actually thanking Norma now. She'd given this just the push that it had needed. "You know, I didn't start looking for you three years ago just because of Saffron." Chris whispered as he pulled away again. He smiled slightly as he sat there with his face close to mine. "I have a bad habit of not doing anything unless it really interests me. And although I'd been hearing rumors about you being around for years by then, that's all they ever seemed to be. Even Zane couldn't confirm with any conviction that they were true, although he'd foreseen you being among us through his dream visions long ago. But I can admit now that I was certain of it deep inside. And the moment that Jade confirmed to me that it was true, I knew I was going to find you. So I began traveling across the country, and searching myself."

  "So you seriously looked for me for three years?" I asked, gently holding him close with my good arm. I couldn't quite move the other one, considering it was still very numb.

  "Yes. I really had no idea of where that woman had taken you, but I kept trying. And eventually, I found a forwarding address that she'd left behind by accident in the last place you lived. So I decided to check on it and see if I had any luck. And as it turned out, I did." Chris said. He moved over beside me and I curled up to him against his shoulder.

  "So how long had you been there before I saw you?" I had to ask.

  "Maybe a week. I actually took some time to wait on looking for you, considering I kind of didn't want you to see me at first. I wasn't that sure of what was going on with all of it at that moment, so I was being careful. But as soon as I saw you walking out of that house that afternoon I finally decided to look, I knew that it was you. I could feel the power sleeping inside of you, and I could tell it was definitely from a child of a Fallen One. But, there was something else too. Something I felt as soon as I saw you. And it made me decide to just say to hell with everything and get you myself." Chris admitted.

  "I was being hunted, wasn't I?" I guessed.

  Chris shook his head. "No. They still didn't know you existed. It was actually because of how I felt at that moment." he said.

  I looked back up at him then. "Really?" I said, feeling a little bit surprised now.

  At that, Chris turned slightly so I could face him. "You really don't get it?" he asked, a slight smile playing on his face.

  "Get what?" I replied. Seriously, I hated it when he did this. But then again, I think a part of me was a little bit nervous now too. I hadn't quite been expecting him to actually tell me the truth. And a part of me was really anticipating hearing a certain three words.

  Chris gave me a gentle kiss on my forehead. "Guess I have to say it out loud, don't I?" he said, laughing a little. "But it's okay. I think I probably should, especially because it seems like you keep missing it. Maybe that's my fault too. I haven't exactly been that good with this. But anyway, I had met other female Shadow Wings before. But they had always been just like all of the rest. You were different though. I felt it from the moment I saw you. And since I've gotten to know you and be around you, that feeling has only grown for me. And now, I think I know why."

  "You do?" I whispered, feeling a little bit more than captivated all at once.

  Chris smiled. "You really need me to say it?" he teased. All at once, he'd seemed like he'd loosened up a lot. It was actually nice to see.

  But I also felt myself pout a little. "Don't do that. You know it's not fair." I complained.

  Chris laughed softly. "Yeah, I guess you're right." he said. "But the truth is there. Even though Jade still tells me that I've lost my mind, I know that this is true. I know that I'm in love with you." he said.

  I almost felt my heart stop with those words and that soft kiss. But at the same time, it felt like my soul was suddenly lightened too. Chris was in love with me. He'd been in love with me from the very moment he'd seen me. And I think I knew my truth too. That I loved him . I couldn't deny that anymore...

  The sound of the clock chiming brought us out of this sweet moment. "Looks like it's getting pretty late. You should try to get some rest for now, or that arm isn't going to heal." Chris said as he pulled back.

  "I guess. It's been a really long day huh?" I reluctantly agreed.

  "No kidding. But at least something good came out of it." Chris said.

  I felt myself smile back at him, cuddling up close to him again. "Yeah. And I love you too. I want to stay with you forever." I told him.

  "Well, I think we can do that. After all, that's what they give us with these lives." Chris said, yawning slightly. He gently touched my arm. "Are you sure you're okay?"

  "I'm fine. It's still numb, so at least I can try to sleep. Just promise you'll stay beside me." I said, glancing back up at him. I was a little taken back by the content look he seemed to have. It was just like I'd seen in that vision from long ago.

  "All right." Chris agreed, starting to fall asleep.

  Closing my eyes, I felt very comfortable in his embrace. It was funny, but I always seemed to have this feeling whenever I was close to him. Was it because I had always b
een in love with him? I couldn’t help but wonder that as I drifted off to sleep.

  It often seemed that when I slept next to Chris, I wouldn’t dream. But this time, I found myself opening my eyes, and seeing that I was in a different place again. Looking around, I realized that it was the same room I’d seen Saffron in weeks before, right before he’d awoke my powers. The room itself was very quiet though, and I didn’t see any sign of him. Walking over to the bed, I sat myself down and looked around me again, anticipating his arrival. It felt so odd being there. Even though this really was just a dream for me, it was also a reality too. Somehow, a small piece of me had come there to see him. Everything, at least in a sense, was real. I could even feel the softness of the blanket I was sitting on as if I was awake and fully alert.

  But as I sat there, I couldn’t help but feel a little bit puzzled. Just how had I gotten there again? Saffron must have summoned me there. But I didn’t see a sign of him….

  Suddenly, I felt someone sitting behind me. I didn’t have to turn to know who it was. “So you’ve managed to come and visit me again. I must be getting stronger.” Saffron said as he hugged me from behind.

  “So you are pulling me here. Are you that anxious to visit with me now?” I had to ask. I didn’t bother trying to move. I just knew deep inside that he wasn't going to hurt me.

  I could almost feel the smile cross his face at my words. “Perhaps a little. After all, I haven’t had the chance to even be close to you for a good five years now.” he replied.

  “That was your own fault. You were the one who kept having to go after that woman and ended up getting yourself trapped here.” I said.

  “So they told you what they knew about that, did they? I figured that at least one of them would know something more about it.” Saffron commented.

  I made myself turn to face him then. He really didn’t look that different from the last time I’d seen him. Although he didn’t exactly look that human now either. A large black tattoo laced up the side of his neck to the top of his left check in an intricate pattern, and his arms extended to large, black, claw like hands. Bat like wings were curled around us from his back. Yes, this was a true form for a Fallen One.

  “By the way, your seal on my memories is wearing off now too. I’m starting to remember you around more when I was a kid.” I told him.

  “Yes. Well, that’s fine. You needed to remember now that you’ve woken up.” Saffron said.

  Indeed, I did remember him very well. The unsealed memories were coming more and more every day. Now, I understood that I had known him for a good deal of my life. Saffron had a habit of just popping up to visit me since I was a young child. However, he never told me that he was my father. He’d simply acted like an old friend who loved me very much, and had even brought me gifts from time to time. But the last time he was able to visit me, when I was fourteen, he’d apologized to me, then put a hand over my eyes. I blacked out immediately afterwards. I was guessing that that was when he’d sealed my memories of him. I hadn't had any since that time.

  “So anyways, why was it so important to continue going after her? You had me. You came to see me a lot, so you must have had some kind of feelings for me.” I reasoned.

  Saffron gave me a knowing smile. “Are you really that jealous? I wouldn't imagine so, especially considering that I'm letting you have that boy now.” he told me.

  “It’s not jealousy. It’s the fact that you just left me like that when you knew that I could be hunted down by those things, and by angels. You knew that I would get these wings eventually too.” I argued. I decided that it might be better not to get into the subject of Chris then. No telling where that one might have led to.

  Saffron laughed slightly, and I could hear it echo off of the walls of the cavernous room. “Darling, do you really think that I’d just leave you stranded? I always have a contingency plan for everything I do. That is the difference between myself and many of the others who are like me.” he said.

  “A contingency plan?” I repeated, not quite following him.

  Saffron pulled me close again, pushing my hair back. “Of course. I always knew that boy would find you. I told Jade a long time ago that we would always have a connection, and it has continued through our children. I knew that Christoff would wait for the one that he felt that he was born for. And you are that one. The connection was formed from the moment you came into this world, even if the two of you were thousands of miles and hundreds of years apart. And it will always be there.” he explained.

  “You really think that we’re destined to be together?” I asked. I found that one a little bit hard to believe. It just seemed too strange to me that two people could be destined for true love from the moment they were born.

  “There are a lot of things that you cannot understand yet. But trust me, I know just what I am talking about with this. And I know that he understands it now as well. If you trust anyone in anything, you will trust him. He is the one who will protect you when I cannot. Although I may still consider breaking his arm for the damage that was done to yours in his carelessness.” Saffron replied.

  "You're not going to hurt Chris. Besides, he feels bad enough about what happened." I told him.

  "I'll consider it, if that would make you happy." Saffron replied. "However, I know what I'm talking about with that boy too. You have him wrapped around your little finger now. He'd do anything and everything for you. So you need to make sure to use that to your advantage, and trust him no matter what."

  I looked down, considering his words. I knew that I trusted Chris. I had been trusting him from the moment I’d met him. I couldn’t really explain why that was either. I hadn’t really trusted anyone in my life before. Yet, I trusted Chris with my life from the start. Had that been because I fell in love with him from the moment I first saw him?

  Forcing my mind off that subject, I turned back to face Saffron again. “So, are you coming back?” I asked him.

  “I plan to, once I can get myself out of here. I’m already working hard on that one. He won’t keep me locked away forever. And I can feel the punishment coming to an end. He’s probably got some other souls to torture, and will grow bored with mine eventually.” Saffron admitted.

  “I know that you’re asking me to trust Chris. But I’m still scared too. Jade is still there.” I admitted.

  “You have no need to worry about Jade. He has no intentions of harming you. I know that much. I think he’s more fascinated with you than anything else. He probably had begun to think that this would not happen. And besides, he always did say that he wouldn't mind having a girl as well for a child.” Saffron assured me.

  At that time, we heard a strange sound enter the room. It sounded like a low whistling wind. “What is that?” I asked, looking around and trying to detect where it was coming from.

  “Well, it seems my time is up for now. He’s coming back, so I’ll send you back to your love, my dear. But don’t worry. I promise you, I will be with you soon enough.” Saffron promised.

  Within seconds, I found myself waking back up in the bed beside Chris. Blinking my eyes, I tried to register where I was now. Every time Saffron did that, it threw me off from where I was. But looking over at Chris, who was still sleeping soundly, everything came back to me. That was right. Saffron was still trapped, but he’d managed to somehow pull me back to visit with him again. I couldn’t help but think that Saffron really went to extremes to get what he wanted anymore. But then again, I had to wonder if he was used to getting his way…

  I jumped a little when I tried moving my arm, closing my eyes tightly. The pain was definitely back now, and so was I. I carefully readjusted it, lying still and watching Chris as I allowed my mind to wander. After seeing Saffron these two times, and recalling back from when I was a child, I had to wonder about the other fallen ones who had created children like us. Saffron and Jade were the only two that I knew personally as of that moment. But I had learned also through my dreams that Jade had saved C
hris’s life when he was a child. He protected him then, and perhaps still did to an extent. And when I thought about it, Saffron had done a lot to protect me in my life so far too. Could this have meant that some of them loved us as parents should? It seemed so strange to even think that fallen angels could love. And yet, now, it almost seemed possible.

  Feeling Chris move slightly beside me, I looked back at him as he slowly open his eyes. “Waking up?” I asked, keeping my voice soft. It felt wrong to break the wonderful silence in the room.

  “Yeah. Don’t really want to, but I don’t really have a choice I guess. Besides, you probably need some medicine again for that arm. How’s it doing?” He said, sitting himself up a little bit.

  “It hurts pretty bad now.” I admitted, letting him help me to sit up. I was trying my hardest not to move my arm that much.

  “It’ll probably be like that for another day or so. But the medicine should help a lot. Come on. Let’s get downstairs and I’ll redo the bandage.” Chris offered.

  I nodded, letting him help me off of the bed. May as well patch me up again. But at least getting that medicine on this would help the pain. I had to wonder what in the world they were using. I didn’t think even morphine would be as strong as this stuff was that they’d rubbed into that wound last night.

  Looking back on getting up then, I can honestly say that there was the start of a distinct change in the relationship between Chris and myself. He wasn’t looking at me with the distance that he’d had before, and we definitely didn't feel any kind of discomfort in being so close. But even then, I found myself wondering just when this change really began to start for us. Even now, I wonder about it. It seemed like ever since the first day we’d met, the two of us had been drifting towards one another. And I couldn't help but wonder if Saffron had been right all along. This was destiny for us to be together.

  The house was actually pretty quiet as we came downstairs. I halfway wondered if Zane had already gone out. He had said that he had a meeting early that morning. I wanted to ask him when he came back exactly what it was about. Zane had a lot of involvement in Baton Rouge when it came down to it. I was slowly beginning to learn that. For what he was, he certainly wasn’t keeping that low of a profile. I wondered if that would change with the start of another hunt.