by A. M. Kusi
They spent the day talking about his life in Boston, and all the things he loved about it. He helped her go over the social media accounts she had created for the inn and offered critiques. River suggested a card game, and they managed to watch a movie snuggled up together. The day passed blissfully, and they enjoyed being inside their little bubble.
At five o’clock, they got ready for dinner. He wore grey dress pants and a white buttoned shirt with a tie. Ella was surprised he chose something so formal and looked into her suitcase, unsure. She pulled out the bright yellow sundress she had packed. It came to the top of her knee, with three-quarter-length sleeves and a low V-cut neckline.
River wrapped his arms around her, inhaling deeply as he kissed her cheek and whispered, “You look stunning.”
Ella’s nerves were calmed as she melted against him. Feeling his arousal behind her, she turned to face him. “The best part about it is it has pockets!” She laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him into a kiss, taking her time to slowly tease his mouth. She heard him growl as he squeezed her closer against his body.
“If you keep kissing me like that, we won’t make it to dinner.”
“I’d much rather have you for dinner,” Ella teased.
River pushed her down to the bed, falling on top of her. Ella let out a surprised gasp. He lifted the hem of her dress, ripping off her black lace panties.
“We’re going to be late!” Ella said, thoroughly turned on.
“It will be worth it.”
River’s voice was the last thing Ella heard, and then any coherent thought left her mind as her body was racked with pleasure. She loved the emotionally caring and helpful side of River that she’d gotten to know so well. But he was dominant in bed and that was the absolute perfect flipside in a man. She shivered from his brazen touch, relishing the unabashed delight he took licking and sucking her exposed sex.
They pulled into the restaurant only ten minutes later than they had planned. There was a valet to park the car. River opened Ella’s door and handed the man his keys, taking the ticket from him. They entered the restaurant, and Ella felt immediately out of place. The room was far fancier than any she had ever seen. She guessed the hostess’s dress and shoes cost more than she could make in a year, and she suddenly felt underdressed, pockets or no. Ella saw the stares from other customers as the hostess led them to a table with a middle-aged white couple. Ella looked at River, confused, as he pulled a chair out for her. Ella sat and forced a smile.
“Ella, this is my mother, Sandra, and my dad, David Parker,” River said.
Ella managed to speak. “It’s nice to meet you.”
River’s mother spoke first. She held out her perfectly manicured hand to rest on Ella’s arm. The diamond rings sparkled under the soft lights of the restaurant, distracting Ella momentarily. “Ella, it is so nice to finally meet the woman who has brought out this new River.”
Ella looked questioningly towards River, “What was the old River like?”
“Oh, he just didn’t know how to loosen up and have some fun once in a while. Always working. Withdrawn and robotic, even with—”
Ella watched as Sandra suddenly realized she was about to bring up River’s ex, Coraline, but clearly thought better of it.
River’s mother continued, “Well, anyhow, I am glad you have helped him find himself again.” Sandra reached over to pat her son’s hand across the table.
“Hey, don’t discourage my son’s work ethic,” David said, offering a warm smile that lit up his blue eyes. He seemed friendly enough, but Ella knew instinctively that these people were in a class far above her own.
She watched the three of them joke and banter throughout dinner, realizing just how different her life really was from River’s. It was one thing to know it in theory, but to actually see the vast chasm between the way they were raised was a stark contrast. The waiter came and took their orders.
“Your name is Ella Shaw?” Sandra asked.
Ella noticed something different in her brown eyes. “Yes.”
“River said you were close to the previous owner of the inn.”
“He was like a father to me,” Ella answered honestly.
“Oh.” Sandra suddenly looked uncomfortable, glancing between River and Ella. “How was he? I mean, did he pass comfortably?” Sandra pressed.
“Mom,” River interjected protectively.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked,” Sandra apologized.
Ella said, “It’s alright. He passed at home in his bed. I was there.”
Sandra looked like she wanted to know more and Ella felt uncomfortable.
“Stowe is quite far from Boston,” David said, thankfully changing the subject.
River firmly answered, “Not too far.”
David took the hint and moved on keeping his gaze fixed on Ella. “You are rather young to be running a business by yourself. That’s quite an accomplishment.”
“Yes,” Ella said. She didn’t need to prove her capabilities to anyone. She wondered if River’s parents were insinuating that she had taken advantage of a sick and dying man. She felt the bile rise in her throat. They must think I’m a gold digger. Ella looked down at her scar- and tattoo-covered forearms, feeling inferior, wishing to be back in River’s house. He must have sensed her uneasiness, because she felt his hand move down to rest on her thigh, comfortingly.
Ella decided, family or not, she was not going to let anyone look down their nose at her. She rose to meet his father’s eyes. “I’ve worked hard for everything I have. I went to college, got my degree, and helped turn a little country inn into a popular wedding destination in Vermont. Now I’m working on expanding that reach to all of New England. Your son has been kind enough to help me with learning online marketing. But everything else, I have done on my own.”
Sandra looked taken aback. She reached her French-manicured hand out to touch Ella’s, which conveniently was painted black—another perfect image of their contrasting worlds. “It sounds like you have done an amazing job from everything River has told us about the inn. I hope you know we didn’t mean to imply anything less.”
Ella offered Sandra a small smile, trying to remain polite. “Of course.”
The rest of dinner went by with small talk about Boston and Sandra and David’s upcoming month-long trip to Japan. They finished dessert, and River told his parents he and Ella needed to get home. They thanked them for dinner and waited for the valet in silence. River went to open Ella’s door but she beat him to it, shutting it quickly behind her. River hesitated for a second before walking around to his side of the car. They drove towards his home to the sound of a pop song on the radio as the city lights filled the darkness.
“You want to talk about it?” River asked.
“I don’t need your money. I don’t need your connections. That is not why I am with you, River.”
“I know,” River said emphatically, placing his hand on her leg.
“I don’t think your parents do,” Ella said directly, hating the fact that she cared what they thought of her.
“I’m sorry they made you feel that way. My mom was very excited to meet you. I don’t know what got into her tonight. She’s never acted that way before.”
“You never told me you were adopted,” Ella stated, feeling like maybe she didn’t know River as well as she’d thought.
“I didn’t think to mention it. David adopted me right after he married my mom,” River explained.
“So, she’s your biological mom?”
“Yes.”
“It was just a surprise is all,” Ella said, taking a deep breath. She didn’t like this feeling between them, and she didn’t want to argue. She was leaving the next day and she wanted to enjoy this time together. Because it won’t last.
River pulled his hand back to his own lap. “He’s bee
n my dad ever since I was like three, so I never see the point in clarifying that we don’t share genetics. It takes more than DNA to be a parent. I thought you would understand that better than most,” he bit out.
Ella placed her hand on his again, pulling his palm back onto her lap as she said, “You’re right. I think I was just overwhelmed with everything tonight.”
River sighed. “I should have prepared you this past week instead of dumping it on you today. I was afraid you wouldn’t come to Boston at all.”
Ella brought his hand to her lips and kissed it.
They drove the rest of the way home in silence. Ella let River open her car door and they walked into the dark house hand in hand, up the stairs, and to the bedroom. He reached out and flicked the gas fireplace on, creating just enough light to cover the room in a soft glow. River turned to look at Ella intently.
Ella saw how tired River was and the question in his face. She hated that the smile was gone from his light hazel eyes. She reached out and grabbed his tie, pulling him into her kiss, feeling his hands holding her tighter against him. His smell was hypnotic. His touch was intoxicating. Ella ripped open his shirt, hearing the buttons pop off onto the floor. River groaned with want. He ran his fingers up her thighs, leaving scorch marks as he pulled her dress over her head. She needed his closeness more than she needed air.
River turned and closed the door, shutting out the rest of the world for a little while.
Chapter 22
The next morning, Ella woke to an empty bed. She looked at the clock, seeing a sticky note attached to it, Out for a run. I’ll bring back breakfast. -R. Ella relaxed and saw the clock read seven; she had slept in. She got up, showered, and dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a black tank top.
She packed her bags and set them in her car before heading back to the kitchen. She opened his cupboards and found what she was looking for. Pouring some coconut flakes into a blender with a bit of water and a dash of salt, she turned it on and blended until it was frothy. Ella found a mesh colander and strained out pieces of the coconut flesh. She poured the finished coconut milk product into a glass jar just as River walked in the front door.
He saw her and smiled. “Brought you some donuts and a tea,” he said, setting the items on the counter next to her.
“Thank you,” Ella said.
“What’s this?” River asked, pointing to the milk.
“Now you can have a proper latte while I’m gone.”
River kissed her in thanks before he ran off to shower and change into his work clothes for the day.
Ella ate the donuts he’d brought for her and drank the hot minty tea, savoring the feeling of being in the same house as him for as long as she could.
When River came back downstairs, Ella was in the living room looking at the pictures on the wall. She saw him smiling and laughing with his friends, and his parents. A beautiful dark-haired woman getting a kiss from River on the cheek caught her attention. She felt a tinge of jealousy burn her cheeks. She wondered if that was Coraline, and why he would still have pictures of her.
River wrapped his arms around her, and she turned to hug him back. She breathed him in, not wanting to part.
“I’m going to miss you,” River said.
“Me too.”
“I can find some time to take a trip next weekend, I know you have to work, but at least we can be together. I’ll come Friday after work.”
Ella nodded, not ready to say goodbye yet. Reluctantly they untangled enough to walk her to the Jeep. Ella kissed him again, memorizing his taste and the feel of his lips one last time. She wondered how much longer they could both keep doing this.
River kissed her back, placing his forehead to hers after their lips parted. He kissed it and then her nose before saying, “See you Friday,”
“Eight days,” Ella said, beginning the countdown.
Ella fought to restrain her tears as she drove away, seeing River’s waving hand grow smaller in her rearview mirror. Once she had driven out of the city, she felt like she could breathe again. The almost four-hour drive from Boston went by relatively easier than her drive there.
Ella walked into the inn after noon. Heading to the kitchen with her bags, she saw Maggie.
“Oh! You’re back. How was it?” she asked.
“Interesting. Magical. Hard.”
“Explain,” Maggie prodded. “Did you finally sleep with him?”
“Well, we didn’t exactly have sex, but we didn’t not have sex either. We didn’t go all the way.”
“And?” Maggie asked impatiently.
“It was the best non-sex sexual experience of my life,” Ella admitted.
“Wow! Ella, I’m so happy you got an orgasm!” Maggie said excitedly.
“Actually, it was several last night and three the previous day,” Ella said in a quieter voice. “I mean, I know you told me that it was possible for a woman, but I never thought I would get to experience it.”
“Welcome to the coveted club!” Maggie exclaimed, clapping her hands. “Now I know he’s a keeper.”
Ella laughed.
“So what was hard, besides him? Sorry! I couldn’t help it!”
Ella rolled her eyes and said, “He took me to meet his parents.”
“Wow…How did that go?” her friend asked in a more serious tone, taking a seat on one of the barstools. Ella sat next to her and told Maggie about the conversation they’d had at dinner.
“That definitely sounds weird. I’m sorry, Ella. I’m glad you stood up for yourself. It sounds like River tried to help too.”
Ella recognized her growth. Even a year ago, she would have had trouble asserting herself. She was making strides in her healing and learning to retrain her brain.
Ella said goodbye and left Maggie, heading to her room to put her things away. She put on some laundry before tackling the one task she had put off for too long.
Ella opened Mac’s office and turned the light on. The room smelled musty, of old books with a faint hint of sweet pine that was Mac. She opened the door wide in an attempt to air out the stuffiness. A large antique wooden desk sat against the wall to her left, covered in dust and cobwebs. The surrounding walls were built-in bookshelves filled with various volumes in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Ella decided dusting would be the first task. She got to work and swept the room before grabbing a few boxes to help sort the items left.
Ella started on the desk; Mac had kept everything organized. Beginning with the stack of letters she’d found on the top, she recognized the name on the return address of the first letter. Her hand froze. Why was Sandra Parker sending letters to Mac? Ella lifted the paper as if it was breakable and carefully opened it, unsure of why she was afraid of the contents. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest.
Ella opened the letter and read the feminine script:
Dear Lloyd,
Words cannot express how sorry I am for not having contacted you sooner. I am ashamed of my actions, and how I left. My reasons were honorable, but nonetheless, you had the right to know.
Twenty-nine years ago, when I left, it was before I found out I was pregnant. With our son. Once I knew, I was afraid our child would grow up having to deal with the small-town-mindedness and racist threats that we’d experienced. I was terrified for him, so I stayed at home in California where I felt safe. We lived in the city where I knew there would be more people who looked like him.
He has turned into a wonderful man, but I can see he is missing a piece of himself. I think he needs you. He needs to know where he came from—his roots on both of his parents’ sides.
His name is River, and I have arranged for him to come to your inn in June. He doesn’t know who you are. I left his birth certificate blank. I am ashamed of that now. I know you will never be able to forgive me, but please find it in your heart to get to know your son.
&n
bsp; I will leave the rest up to you, proceed how you wish.
Sincerely,
Sandra
Ella felt panic rise in her stomach as she realized what the letter meant. River was Mac’s son, and he had no idea. Suddenly, Sandra’s questions at dinner made more sense. Ella reeled from the shocking revelation. The date on that letter had read November fourteenth.
She opened the next letter, dated December twelfth.
Dear Lloyd,
My heart breaks with the news of your diagnosis. I urge you to reconsider meeting River before it is too late. Meeting you sick is better than him not knowing you at all. I blame myself for this, and wish I had not taken those years from you. I will keep his reservation for the beginning of June in hopes you will reconsider.
Sincerely,
Sandra
There were no more letters from Sandra in the stack. Ella clutched the words to her chest as she ran back to her room and fell to her bed in shock and disbelief. She wanted to tell River but knew that this kind of news would be better in person. She didn’t know if she should reach out to Sandra, or if River might feel betrayed by that. Ella decided she would wait until he came the following Friday to address it.
***
The days after Ella left Boston passed slowly for River. He texted and called as he had before, but Ella seemed distant. River was worried that she was upset about the dinner with his parents. He knew she felt uncomfortable, and he wondered how he could fix it. He started to worry that she was pulling away from him. He thought about everything he had learned from her in the short time since they’d met. She had helped him grow out of his comfort zone and start asking himself the tough questions about what he truly wanted in life. She had given him the opportunity to share things about himself with her.
He realized he would do anything to keep her in his life and he needed to tell her just how much she meant to him. River wasn’t sure when it was exactly that he had fallen in love with her, but he knew he had, hook, line, and sinker. He was hers, and River wanted Ella to be his.