“Would you come with me?” She hesitated for a moment, always slightly afraid of the crowd, and what could happen to her, and there was no one to protect her. The others looked a little concerned, but no one had recognized her so far, and it was tempting to just go with him and do it.
“Do you want me to go with you?” Hartley asked, he didn't want her to be in any danger, and he was more than happy to go with her to offer his protection.
“I think I'll be all right,” she said in an undertone to him. “I'll stay out in the open, and if you see anything strange happen, or a crowd closing in, get the security right away, call the police, just get them out there.” But they might not be fast enough and she knew that.
“I don't think you should do this,” he said conservatively.
“It's a nice thing to do though. It would mean a lot to them.” And it was a gift she could give to Gordon. She wanted to do it for him and the people of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. “Don't worry,” she said, patted his arm, glanced at her friends, and followed the perspiring man from the rodeo down a flight of stairs out of the bleachers and around the ring. They were right out in the open and the others could watch her. What they were proposing was that she stand on a box in the middle of the ring with a microphone and sing, or if she preferred, she could do it on horseback. It was a scenario she much preferred. She was a target either way, but she had more mobility on a horse than on foot, and she was a good enough rider to get out of any situation if she had a horse on which to do it. They were more than happy to have her do it on horseback, and they offered her a beautiful palomino which matched her hair and her outfit. It was more theatrical that way anyway. She only hoped she wasn't making herself an easy target for a crazy with a gun. It was an awful way to think, but when she did concerts, she had to. Her agent would have had a nervous breakdown, if he'd known what she was about to do, with no protection, and for free yet. But the little girl from Texas still lived in her. If she had thought when she was a child she would sing the anthem at the rodeo one day, she would never have believed it. It was something she had never done, and used to dream of, as a kid from Texas. And she agreed to do it on horseback. They explained to her that she'd go on in the next ten minutes. And as she looked around, she wondered if she'd see Gordon, but she didn't. No one seemed to be in the least aware of her presence, or what was coming. No one knew she was in the audience, or so she thought, although the people from the rodeo said that the girl at the ranch who'd ordered the tickets for her had said who they were for, which annoyed her a little, but it was hard to control that. Someone always said something. But the crowd at the rodeo was in no way prepared for the announcement that was made as the rodeo began, nor was Gordon.
“Ladies and gentlemen,” the grand marshal said into a mike as he sat in the ring on a big, black stallion. “We have a real treat in store for you this evening. The Jackson Hole Rodeo welcomes you tonight, and to thank you for coming here to see our bulls and our broncs and our cowboys, we have a real nice lady who's going to give you quite a treat. She's going to sing our anthem. She's visiting Jackson Hole,” and as he said it, Tanya prayed he'd have the brains not to say where she was slaying, and the others hoped the same thing as they sat in the bleachers, but mercifully he didn't. “And she's pretty familiar with the rodeo herself. She's a Texas gal… ladies and gentlemen,” there was a powerful drumroll from the members of the high school band who were about to play the anthem, “I give you… Tanya Thomas!” And as he said the words, a cowboy opened the gate, and she galloped into the ring on the palomino. She made an incredible sight with her blond hair flying out behind her. She was holding the mike in one hand and the reins in the other, and the horse was livelier than she'd expected, and she was praying she wouldn't fall off before she got to sing the anthem. And according to plan, she galloped once around the ring, and then walked the horse into the middle, smiling at the crowd and waving as they screamed and cheered her. People were on their feet and unable to believe their good fortune. And for a fraction of an instant, she was afraid they would stampede her. She could almost smell it brewing. And she wished she could see Gordon, but she couldn't. He was standing far behind her, straddling the bronc pens, unable to believe what he was seeing, or the crowd's reactions. He was surprised that she hadn't warned him, but he watched as the crowd continued to scream and shout her name, and stamp their feet in rhythm. But she was holding up a hand, and they stopped finally so they could hear her.
“Okay, now… I'm excited to see you too, but this isn't a concert. It's a rodeo… and we're going to sing our anthem, so let's settle down. It's a real honor for me to be here,” she said it with such feeling that they actually quieted down and really listened. “This is a special song for all of us Americans,” she said, plucking at their heartstrings. “And I want you to think about what it says, and sing it with me.” She bowed her head for a minute and there was an instant of silence and then the band began, and they played it better than any professional orchestra she'd ever heard play it. They were doing it just for her, and she sang her heart out for the people of Jackson Hole, and the tourists, and her friends, and the people of Texas… and Gordon. She sang it mostly for him, and hoped that he knew that. She knew what the rodeo meant to him, the same thing it had meant to her as a little girl in Texas. It was the high point of his existence, at least it always had been. But at that moment, the only thing he could think of was her, and what he was hearing and seeing. He had never seen or heard anything more beautiful than Tanya singing the anthem, and he wished he had it on tape, so he could play it forever. It brought tears to his eyes, and to almost everyone who heard her. And they went absolutely insane when she finished. She gave them one last wave and galloped out of the ring, before they could leap over the barricades and mob her. She was out the gate before they could move, and had the mike in the hands of the man from the rodeo who kissed her on the cheek so hard he almost knocked her over, and then she dismounted and literally disappeared into the crowd, and headed toward the bronc pens to see if she could find Gordon. She was shaking with excitement.
No one actually saw where she went, and she moved so quickly that they lost track of her in the crowd. Even Hartley couldn't see her now, and Mary Stuart and Zoe were worried about her, hut she knew exactly where she was going. She had hung around rodeos too long not to know how to find the bronc pens, and within two minutes she saw him, still looking dazed, astride pen number five. And as though he sensed her nearby, he looked down and saw her. And he clambered down the rails like a monkey until he stood beside her. He towered over her, and she was beaming.
“Why didn't you tell me you were going to do that?” He looked hurt that she hadn't told him, but he was still moved by her singing.
“I didn't know till I got here. They came and asked me the minute I sat down.”
“You were unbelievable,” he said proudly. He couldn't believe he knew her. The last few days had been like a dream for him, and now he was standing there talking to her, as though he'd always known her. He was wearing green-and-silver leather chaps, and handmade boots to match them, a bright green shirt, and a gray cowboy hat, and silver spurs that jangled. “I've never heard anyone sing like that,” he said in amazement, as people jostled around them, but no one seemed to realize who he was talking to. They hadn't figured it out yet.
“It's a crazy thing to say,” she said, feeling shy suddenly, like a kid, and she wasn't sure if he should hear it, “but I did it for you. I thought it might bring you luck… I thought you might like it…”
His eyes were a caress as he looked at her, but he felt as shy as she did. “I don't know what to say to you. I just don't know, Tanya…” Tanya… Tanya Thomas… he kept wanting to pinch himself. Was this happening to him? Was she talking to him? Had he been riding with her since Monday? It was crazy. He was dreaming.
“It was kind of my gift to you… now you give me one too.” He was terrified of what she would ask of him. But at that moment, he would have done j
ust about anything for her. “You stay safe, that's all I want. Take care. Even if it means no score. It's not worth it otherwise, Gordon. Life's too important.” She had seen so many people come and go in her life, so many stupid things happen, so many people who risked everything for something that meant nothing. She didn't want him killing himself for seventy-five bucks on a stupid bronco. In some ways, rodeos were like bullfights. The stakes were just too high sometimes, and you had to know when to cut your losses.
“I promise,” he said, sounding hoarse as their eyes met. His knees were turning to water.
“Take care,” she said, and touched his arm, and the velvet of her suede suit brushed past his hand and she literally vanished. She had seen people watching them, and before anyone took a picture, or they mobbed her, she wanted to get back to the bleachers. It might be impossible to stay now anyway, now that they knew she was there, but she was dying to see him ride. It took her a full five minutes, but she got back to her seat with no mishap, and her heart was pounding when she got there, but it was because of Gordon, not the crowd or the performance. She had never been as moved by anyone in her life as she was by him, and she knew it could be dangerous for both of them. She didn't need another scandal, and he didn't need his life turned upside down by a singer who was going to get on her bus and leave town two weeks later.
“Where the hell were you?” Zoe was frantic when she got back to where they were sitting, and so was Mary Stuart and even Hartley. They had just been about to call the security when she got there.
“I'm really sorry,” she apologized profusely to all of them, “I didn't mean to worry you. It took me a while to get through the crowd, and I ran into Gordon.” Everyone accepted it and she sat down and they did too, and half a minute later, Mary Stuart leaned toward her and spoke to her in a whisper.
“You're full of shit, you went to find him.” There was mischief in her eyes, and Tanya avoided eye contact with her. She really didn't want to admit it. She was far more smitten with him than she was ready to tell them.
“Of course not.” She tried to brush her off and pretended to watch the first event, which was roping, which always bored her.
“I saw you,” Mary Stuart said, and their eyes met. Her friend was smiling. “Be careful,” she whispered into Tanya's ear, but as they were talking, half a dozen people approached them and asked Tanya to sign autographs. And since she had made a willing spectacle of herself, she didn't think she could refuse them. It was like that all night, through the team roping, the barrel racing, the bareback broncos, the bulls, and then finally, she saw him. He was riding a fierce, bucking bronco with a saddle. And the thing she hated most about saddle broncs was that the cowboys taped one hand into the horn on the saddle. They had to come off specifically on one side, and be able to get their hand out. And if they didn't, they could be dragged around on their head for ten minutes before the pickup men could catch them. She had seen some horrifying accidents while she was a child in Texas, And she found herself terrified as she watched him come out of the gate on a vicious brown horse that did everything it could to get rid of its rider. His feet were in the air just as they were meant to be, his legs straight forward, his head and torso tilted far back, and he didn't touch the saddle with his free hand. And he seemed to ride forever. He rode until the bell, he had stayed on longer than anyone, and he made a nice clean jump to the ground, while the pickup men went after the bronco and got him. He got an almost perfect score and waved his hat and his taped hand in her direction and then strode across the ring back to the pens, with his chaps and his boots, looking glorious. It had been a real victory for him. And he had done it for Tanya.
They stayed until the last event, a final round of bulls, followed by fourteen-year-old boys on young steers, that made you wonder about the boys’ parents. It was certainly not as dangerous as the bulls, but close enough, and Mary Stuart was outraged.
“Those people should be put in jail for letting those boys do that.” In fact, one of the youths had been stomped, a boy of twelve, but he was on his feet again within a few minutes. Zoe and the others had been watching closely.
But in spite of some of the barbarism, and the sheer hokiness, Tanya had to admit she loved it, it was everything she had always loved as a child. And as they left, the others couldn't believe the number of people who asked for autographs on the way out, who snapped her picture, and tried to touch her. But the grand marshal had very kindly sent the security and the real police over to her, anticipating that, and she managed to get back to the bus without any real problems. There were still about fifty people standing outside the bus when they left, waving and shouting, and running alongside the bus as it drove away. It was an amazing phenomenon. It was the adoration that always came before the hatred. If she stayed long enough, they would have torn her limb from limb, in order to get a piece of her or maybe some lunatic would really hurt her. It was the kind of atmosphere that always made her very nervous in crowds, or out in public.
“Tanya, you're amazing,” Hartley said to her as they pulled away. He was filled with admiration. She was gracious to everyone, while still maintaining her dignity, and trying to give them what they wanted, and yet keep a reasonable distance. But through it all, one sensed constantly how precarious the balance of the crowd was. “I would be terrified of even a little crowd like that,” he said sensibly. “I'm an inveterate coward.” But she was used to doing concerts in front of as many as seventy-five thousand. Yet even in a crowd like the one tonight, someone could easily have lost control and killed her. And she knew it. “You also have a voice straight from God,” he said. “Everyone around us was crying.”
“Me too,” Mary Stuart said, smiling,
“I always cry when you sing,” Zoe said matter-of-factly, and Tanya smiled, touched by all of them. It had been a remarkable evening, and Hartley sat with them for a while when they went back, and then he and Mary Stuart took a walk, and he brought her back around eleven-thirty. They had stood in the moonlight for ages kissing, and Tanya and Zoe thought they were cute and incredibly romantic.
“What do you think will happen?” Tanya asked Zoe as they sat in the living room, talking.
“It would be nice for her if things worked out with him, but it's hard to tell. I have the feeling in a place like this it's a little bit like a shipboard romance. And I'm not sure she's worked it all out in her head with Bill yet.” It was astute of Zoe to notice.
“He's been such a bastard to her all year, I hope she leaves him,” Tanya said, sounding harder than usual, but she was angry at Bill, and she felt sorry for Mary Stuart.
“But he's been in pain too.” Zoe was more familiar with the strain a death in the family put on otherwise decent people. It turned some of them into saints, others into monsters. And Bill Walker had definitely been the latter.
Zoe was going to say something about Tanya's wrangler too, but Mary Stuart came in then, beaming.
“Are we allowed to check for beard burn?” Tanya asked, reminiscent of school, and they all collapsed in laughter.
“God, I'd forgotten what that is,” Mary Stuart laughed, and then turned to Tanya. “You were unbelievable tonight, Tan. Better than ever. I've never heard you like that.”
“It was fun. That's the good part. I always love the singing.”
“Well, you give a lot of people a great deal of pleasure,” Mary Stuart said kindly.
They chatted for a little while, and Mary Stuart and Zoe went to bed, and Tanya decided to stay in the living room reading. She was still exhilarated from the rodeo, and her brief performance, and just after midnight, she heard a soft tapping on the window. She thought it was an animal outside at first, and then she looked up and saw a flash of green shirt, and then a face smiling at her like a mischievous boy. It was Gordon. And she grinned when she saw him. She wondered if in some instinctive part of her she had been waiting for him. The thought crossed her mind as she slipped quietly out to see him. It was chilly outside, and she was still wear
ing her velvety suedes, and she was barefoot.
“Shhh!” He put a finger to his lips, but she hadn't been about to call his name. She had already guessed that he could get in a lot of trouble for being there at that hour, with her. His cottage was down behind the stables.
“What are you doing here?” she whispered, and he beamed at her. He was as excited as she was.
“I don't know. I think I'm crazy. Maybe almost as crazy as you are.” It was as though he had known her forever. And he would never forget what she had done for him that night, or the voice with which she sang it.
“You were great,” she said, smiling at him. “Congratulations. You won.”
“Thank you,” he said proudly. It mattered to him. A lot. And just as she had, he said he had done it for her. It was his gift to Tanny, as he called her. It made her seem less like Tanya Thomas.
“I know you did.” He was standing next to a tree as she talked to him, and he suddenly leaned against it and pulled her toward him.
“I don't know what I'm doing here. I'm crazy. I could get fired for this.”
“I don't want you to get hurt,” she said honestly, standing close to him, hoping no one would see them.
“I don't want you to get hurt either.” And then he frowned, looking at her. He had never been as afraid as he was that night, not for himself, but for her, when the crowd engulfed her when she left him. “I was terrified… I was so afraid someone might hurt you.”
“They might one day,” she said sorrowfully, it came with the territory for her, and she accepted it. Almost. “It could happen.” She tried to sound casual about it, but she wasn't.
“I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Ever.” And then he surprised himself with what he said, “I wish I could be there to protect you.”
“You can't all the time. Someone could get me coming out of my house any morning, or onstage at a concert. Or at a supermarket.” She smiled philosophically, but he looked unhappy.
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