Friendship on Fire

by Danielle Weiler

  It made me sad that I couldn’t go away with both of them. Then my life would have been perfect, if not unrealistic.

  Five minutes later Nate came out with a steaming package of chips, two drinks and two chocolate mousses. I looked for the tomato sauce automatically, but remembered he wasn’t Roman. How could I expect him to know what I wanted without telling him? He wasn’t a mind reader. So I ate my chips without tomato sauce for the first time in six years.

  We parked across the road under a tree and wound down our windows. The sea breeze was picking up and the potent smell of salt air filled my lungs. I had not been to Portsmouth in a very long time. I vaguely remember passing through it when I was young on our way to another city, with my parents, but other than that this holiday was like a brand new experience.

  ‘Let’s walk,’ I suggested after we finished lunch. Nate put our rubbish in the bin and locked the car.

  We walked up and down a long strip of white sand, the place almost completely to ourselves. Small sailing boats lined the harbour on one side of the water, with a wharf joining both sides. Children were jumping off the wharf, while Nate and I talked. We spoke about everything from our childhood to our most embarrassing moments to most special. I didn’t tire of his company.

  The air around us grew chilly. Startled, I checked the sun to see that it had just set; an orange, blood red glow buoying on the horizon. My stomach rumbled and Nate patted it, promising he would feed it soon.

  ‘What do you feel like for dinner?’ he asked, holding me tight against the fresh wind.

  ‘I don’t mind. I’m easy,’ I replied.

  ‘No you’re not.’

  ‘Are we still talking about food?’

  ‘Of course we’re not,’ he laughed.

  ‘Then you decide. Are you easy?’

  ‘Wouldn’t you like to know?’

  I smiled, defeated and shy.

  ‘I know just the place,’ he said, taking my hand as we walked to the car.

  I was determined to pay for this meal, one way or another. He had paid for everything already and I promised myself before I came I would pay for some things.

  A cute French cafe stood on the corner of the main street. Nate swung into a park immediately and started getting out of the car.

  The cafe was lit up with candles inside and was made of dark, thick limestone. It looked archaic, like a castle.

  After dinner, Nate found our beach shack. It was as good as on the beachfront; from inside we could hear the waves crashing if all was still and we concentrated. Nate caught me smiling at the two separate beds.

  ‘I won’t bite, you know. Unless you want me to. I can make a home-made double bed,’ he persisted.

  ‘It’s OK, I like my space. I’m a bit of a star fish when it comes to beds,’ I lied.

  ‘I can be a star fish too, you know.’

  ‘Oh shush. You’re insatiable.’

  ‘Only for you.’ He kissed me, his hands in my hair, mine on his chest.

  ‘Maybe on the second night?’ he murmured, lips still on mine.

  ‘We’ll see.’

  Monday turned out to have great weather. It was like the calm before the storm. Windless, sunny, without a cloud in the sky.

  We went shopping at tacky touristy shops, cruised the harbour on jet skis and even went parasailing. Trouble set in just before sunset. Eating dinner outside, I saw the sky morph from blue to grey. The fat raindrops fell on my face instantly. I squealed at their cool touch and the way they took over everything; clothes, food, and hair. Running to Nate’s car, we drove back to the shack, where we stayed all night without leaving again.

  Nate hadn’t minded that I wanted to sleep in separate beds last night. His only request was that we spoon for a while. I loved the feeling of his breath on my ear, his strong body fitting into the groove of my back. His hand rested just on the underwire of my bra; enough for me to pay attention, not enough for me to slap his hand.

  Tonight, however, he was more determined.

  His kisses grew more desperate and mine followed close behind. At one point Nate’s head disappeared under the covers. I inhaled sharply as I felt his warm mouth on my stomach, hips, and ribs. Not being able to see him only made the sensations more intense. I tried to hold his head to predict where he was going, but he pinned my hands under my back; I was trapped and at his mercy.

  I didn’t want this to go too far, which I’m sure Nate was aware of, but at the same time, I didn’t want him to stop whatever he was doing. It was like the first night we kissed; I wanted to learn to surrender to him; not necessarily to sleep with him, but to escape reality and live in the moment. He was helping me get better at it. Much better.

  When I couldn’t take it anymore I pulled my arms out and lifted up the covers to discover his eyes gazing into mine. They were filled with a level of desire that frightened a small part of me.

  ‘Excuse me,’ he said softly and snapped the covers back over his head. He then proceeded to tug at my shirt until I relented and took it off.

  ‘Nate,’ I squirmed, and he laid his hand flat on my stomach to settle me. Then his mouth moved up the middle of my chest.

  lay awake in the early hours of Tuesday morning wondering how Nate could sleep after what we experienced tonight. My whole body was shivering, not with cold, but nerves. For some people such things might not be a big deal, because I hadn’t exactly slept with him. Not even close. It was enough for me and where I was at.

  My mind played the scenes over and over. His eyes, the darkness. The way he held my body.

  Nate had smiled at me when he finally released me. ‘My next lesson’, he’d called it, before falling back into bed, exhausted.

  It was only now, alone in my moment of reminiscence, with the rain drizzling softly on the shack’s roof, that I felt the full effects of falling in love with him.

  The rain continued into breakfast. By mid-morning, we’d checked out and decided to cut our losses and drive back to Twin Rocks. The dangerous pearl coloured ocean thundered back at me as I waved it goodbye. Scooping up my legs under me, I leant over as far as I could to rest my head on Nate’s shoulder and enjoy our last few hours of freedom from the watchful eyes at home.

  At three, I opened my eyes to see a familiar house. Had we made it home already? It barely felt like we’d left Portsmouth. Nate smiled and patted my hand.

  ‘You talked my ear off for the first hour or so, then you stopped. I was bored. You could have paced yourself,’ he chuckled.

  ‘Sorry, I didn’t realise.’ I rubbed my eyes wearily. Staying up half of last night showed on my face. I had better wake up before my parents saw me; I didn’t want to think of my Dad accusing Nate of all sorts of sexual misdemeanours. The thought of last night made my back shiver anyway; he was amazing.

  I stole a moment to gaze at his features close up. The shape of his jaw, his chin, his perfect ears and the way his hair sat on his forehead. He was better looking than the first moment I saw him at school. Better still, he was mine.

  Catching me looking, he grinned and kissed me one last time before my parents stole me from him.

  ‘When will I see you next? I’m getting used to having you around on a more regular basis,’ I said.

  ‘Me too. I’m not sure. I need to help Dad a bit these hols. The house is getting run down because Dad’s too lazy to organise a gardener or housekeeper now that Mum’s gone. He’s bloody useless, Dais,’ he commented, shaking his head. ‘So it might not be for a few days.’

  I pouted.

  ‘Look at you. So cute. Trust me, I can’t stay away for very long. I’ll be banging on your door before you know it.’

  ‘Can’t I come to your house sometime? Help you a bit? I just want your company. I don’t care about mess.’

  He shook his head. ‘Not until it’s clean. I have pride, you know.’

  ‘OK.’

  I had to respect that. He would invite me over when he saw fit.

  Shane came out of the house in
his manager’s uniform and waved to us casually.

  ‘Crap,’ I yelled.

  ‘What?’ He looked startled at my outburst.

  ‘I have to be at work in an hour. I forgot.’

  ‘Don’t stress. I’ll help you take your bag inside and I’ll get going.’

  I stopped and looked at him. ‘I’m so tired though. Can’t I call in sick and hide with you?’

  ‘Nope. You need the money. Sorry for wearing you out,’ he said without a sorry look on his face.

  I kissed his cheek, being sure to breathe in his sweet scent and hold it in my memory before I left him in his car, about to re-enter my world that just got a whole lot less interesting.

  I didn’t see Nate for nearly a week. Had I done something wrong? Surely not. Was he so busy that he didn’t have time for me? Had we saturated our quality time to last a whole week without seeing each other? I got no answers and no peace. His texts would come frequently, telling me he missed me and would see me soon. When?

  I managed to keep busy at home, took extra shifts at work and hung out alone at the beach. Shopping with Sarah helped, but I didn’t see Rach. What was she doing with herself? Maybe she had got a job and was working full time, or catching up on the week that she missed while she was sick. All I was sure of was that things were changing and next term would be very different.

  On Wednesday of the second week of the holidays, a removalist truck backed into a house down the street. It was a cute little cottage, previously owned by an old lady I didn’t ever get to know. I assumed she had died, as an ambulance appeared in our street nearly a month before. The cottage was white, with navy blue edgings and a beautiful rose garden. I was glad someone was moving in; the garden needed tending to maintain its grandeur.

  I strained my neck ungracefully out my window to see who the house had attracted. Two cars were in the driveway; one a Ford Falcon, the other a Toyota Corolla with P-plates, and stickers around the back windscreen. Must be a girl. My age? I hoped she wasn’t a nerd.

  I tossed up whether I should be the good neighbour and take her over a tray of biscuits to introduce myself. No, that was so Hollywood. People in the movies only ever did that if they wanted to gossip and interfere.

  I raced to the kitchen and made my best batch of Anzac biscuits, hoping they would be ready within the hour. Treston came out of his room, sniffing the air. Luckily I had brought my diary into the kitchen with me to write while I guarded my bikkies. They might have disappeared while I was distracted writing my memoirs in another room.

  ‘Aren’t you a good sister, Daisy,’ he said, all sweetness.

  ‘Not for you, sorry.’ I didn’t look up from my diary.

  ‘Nice to see you looking after your older brother,’ he said, walking back into his room.

  I giggled and opened the oven to check on them. They smelt so good I wanted to smuggle a few into my room for later.

  Closing the front door behind me, I called, ‘I’m going to meet the new people. Be back soon.’ I got no answer . They’d be sorry if I got kidnapped, I grumbled to myself.

  After dinner, I raced to my room and opened my bedside drawer. The anticipation waiting for my Anzacs was unbearable and my subtlety was blown. My family knew there was something important in my room and Treston followed me to see what it was.

  My saved biscuits weren’t there. Had I had a blonde moment and put them somewhere else? I looked in my drawers, even behind my laptop. Nothing.

  Treston watched from the doorway, amused.

  ‘They were good,’ he complimented. ‘However, you should have given me some in the first place, as any good sister would have done. Now the chef gets none. Oh well.’

  ‘How could you?’ I screamed, slamming the door in his face. His chuckles from outside only infuriated me further.

  I picked up my diary again. Secretly, I didn’t want to forget anything that had happened during my two days away. My parents didn’t question me about Nate’s conduct; I suspected Mum warned Dad beforehand. She would have told him that if I had any news, I’d tell them in good time. As it turned out, I didn’t. They were content to hear the mundane tourist stories I told them.

  My mind wandered to Roman and his holidays at Marion Bay. The rain must have hit them as well. Would he be back now with his parents? Had they had a nice time together? Had he spent the whole time hating me because I should have been there with him? Did he know I’d gone away with Nate? I still felt bad. I knew he wouldn’t listen if I told him; it’d just make it worse. Better to keep it to myself.

  he new girl Shana seemed nice. A little aloof, but nice. She was probably shy and wouldn’t have expected a stranger to visit so soon. She hadn’t unpacked properly yet and might have felt awkward because her things weren’t arranged and sorted. That’s how I’d have felt anyway. Oh well, no use feeling stupid, I thought. She now knows I exist and can hang out with me when she gets sick of her dad.

  The next morning I was woken by a knock at my door. Groaning, I rolled over and managed to croak, ‘Come in.’

  Mum opened the door and whispered, ‘Daisy. The new girl is here. It’s a bit early to hang out isn’t it? Did you plan something with her? You should be dressed already if you have.’

  Checking the time, I nearly fainted. Seven-thirty in the morning, on school holidays, was an ungodly hour. ‘No, I haven’t made plans with her. Tell her I’ll be out in a minute, please?’

  What does she want? I grumbled to myself as I pulled on some jeans and a long sleeve round neck top.

  She was waiting shyly on the couch in the lounge room, a cup of hot chocolate in her hand, courtesy of Mum. Mum was getting ready for work and looked relieved when I came out so she could get back to her own business.

  ‘Hey,’ I said, collapsing on the couch like a bogan.

  ‘Hey,’ she replied, drinking her hot chocolate.

  ‘What’s up?’ I asked, trying not to appear irritated.

  She fidgeted her thumbs on the mug, seeming uncomfortable. ‘Well.’ Her eyes darted around the room, unsure of her presence in my house. ‘You said I could come over whenever I wanted, if I wanted to hang out. So, here I am.’

  Fighting waves of sleepy nausea, I forced a smile. ‘So I did. And here you are. Early. It’s good to see you.’ I was a horrible liar.

  She smiled back genuinely and waited for me to continue. Couldn’t she come back later?

  ‘What would you like to do then? My house isn’t that interesting.’

  Her eyes lit up at the choice. ‘Can you show me where the beach is? I love it so much. And I’ve missed it, with all our travelling.’

  My beach antennas pricked up. She loved the beach? Like me? As much as me? Was it possible? Rach had tolerated the beach, but she didn’t particularly like it. Shana was instantly forgiven for waking me up so early. If she could prove her love, that is.

  ‘Sure we can. It’ll be a bit cold there at this time of the morning, but the wind won’t have picked up yet. It’s a perfect opportunity. Wait here.’

  I bounced into my room to collect Roman’s birthday presents. The Billabong scarf, gloves and beanie especially would come in handy until the sun came out later.

  Shana had already rugged up in case I accepted her request. Her olive skin shone with telltale signs of sun worshipping and her choice of clothes indicated she’d come from a beach culture before here.

  ‘We’ll take my car, if you like,’ she offered.

  ‘I was about to ask you that. I have my licence, but no car yet. Wonderful. Have you had breakfast?’ I asked, my stomach rumbling.

  ‘We haven’t had a chance to do proper food shopping yet, so I brought these.’ She dug into her satchel and pulled out five of my Anzac bikkies, wrapped in a tea towel. My heart lifted at the sight of them. I could taste them after all. This girl was a gem.

  ‘You’re awesome,’ I squealed, as she frowned and held the biscuits up to me. To explain, I said, ‘I saved three for me last night, but my brother stole them from my room.
I wouldn’t give him any of your batch. I have three of them.’ Nodding towards the rest of my sleeping house, she smiled with understanding.

  ‘I’m an only child, but I can only imagine what it’s like to have older brothers.’ She got up to leave with me. We were about the same height. She was slightly smaller than me in body size.

  I had the magnificent task of holding the biscuits while she drove us to the beach. I nearly forgot to direct her a few times. I was so used to people knowing where they were going in Twin Rocks. Only a few cars were staggered in the car park at South Beach and I could see why. Light fog veiled much of the water and sand, making it hard to see for surfers, the only other ones up at this hour.

  ‘Sorry it’s not the best time to introduce you to South Beach. It’s normally much more beautiful than this,’ I said, sweeping my hand in front of me.

  ‘I don’t care what it looks like, honestly. I’m excited to be at a beach. It’s home for me, like I can be at one with nature.’

  A hippy? I was trying not to be judgmental, but this girl was hard to read. Or put into a box.

  We stood at the lookout and breathed in the salty air, staring out as far as we could where the fog wasn’t as thick. Then we hit the sand, walking right towards the massive white sand dunes.

  ‘So what school are you going to? You are still at school, aren’t you?’ I asked.

  ‘Yeah, year twelve. I think the school is called St Dominic’s?’ Her eyebrows furrowed at the name.

  ‘Oh cool that’s my school. It’s a big change for part way through the year, isn’t it?’ I asked, reading her face as she spoke.

  ‘Sure is.’

  I kept quiet after that response, not wanting to put pressure on her to tell me why she’d left in the first place.

  ‘What classes are you taking?’ I asked to change the subject.

  Shrugging, she responded, ‘Not sure if I’ll do the same ones yet. I probably should. It’d be too hard to start something new, being so close to mid-year exams.’