by Mia Knight
“Lyla, it’s me,” Blade said.
“G-give me a minute,” she wheezed and placed a hand over her racing heart.
“It’s all in your head.”
Lyla raised her head and glared at Blade. “You think I don’t know that?”
“This isn’t the place to have a panic attack,” he snapped impatiently.
Lyla was seriously considering shooting him when she heard one of her guards say, “Can I help you?”
“Morgan?”
Lyla straightened abruptly. Something about that voice snapped her out of her nightmare and into the present. It couldn’t be... Lyla looked around Blade and came face to face with her past. Her body went cold with shock. Jonathan, the ex she left in Maine was standing less than eight feet from her.
CHAPTER THREE
Lyla
“Jonathan,” she whispered.
Jonathan was just shy of six feet with light brown hair and eyes. He was clean-cut and approachable in khaki pants and a purple button up shirt. Jonathan had the softness of a man who didn’t go to the gym and the paleness of someone who worked in front of a computer twelve hours a day. He hadn’t changed a bit. Seeing him sent a spear of something sharp and painful zinging through her. It was as if Gavin’s questions about romance conjured Jonathan out of thin air.
Memories of their first meeting tickled the back of her mind.
“Can I take you out to dinner?” he asked the first time he stepped up to her window at the bank.
“Sorry, no,” she told him and tried to steer their conversation back on a professional level. “How do you want your bills?”
“Boyfriend?” Jonathan asked.
“No, I’m not looking for a relationship.”
“Are you looking for a friend?”
She took in his awkward smile and nerdy appearance. It wasn’t the first time she had been asked out, but it was the first time that line had been used and it hit her in the gut. She had been alone for so long and this guy exuded quiet strength and goodness. It was the lack of artifice in his clothing and smile. He wasn’t playing a game.
Even though she wanted to say yes, she replied with, “Maybe some other time.”
Jonathan didn’t give up. For the next two months, he came in at least once a week and would wait until she was free, even if it was to withdraw ten dollars. Despite his persistence, he always kept the conversation light and never failed to make her smile. He always ended with a request to go out and she finally accepted. It was one of the best things she had ever done.
Her first everything had been Gavin. She didn’t know anything else. Jonathan was a breath of fresh air. He lived modestly and had a normal nine to five. He filled her life with innocent movie dates and weekends exploring lighthouses along the coast. Their relationship morphed naturally. She kept waiting for something fucked up to surface, but it never had. Being with Jonathan restored her faith in humanity until Blade arrived and shattered her world.
“Morgan,” Jonathan said and took a step forward.
He stopped when her guards blocked his way. Lyla drank him in. It was like seeing a ghost. She mourned the simple life she had in Maine and now it was in her face, rousing memories that made her feel as if she was in free fall.
“Morgan, are you all right?” Jonathan asked urgently.
“I’m...” She couldn’t think. Her past life and lover were standing right there. She had been happy with him and now... Lyla was suddenly very aware of the layer of cold sweat on her skin, her scarred chest and the gun in her purse. What happened to the bank teller who dated Jonathan Huskin and lived an ordinary life on the East coast?
“We need to go,” Blade said abruptly and grasped her arm.
When Blade fetched her from Maine, Jonathan had been on a business trip. That was a lucky coincidence for Jonathan since Blade had orders to kill him. Blade had never met Jonathan, but he wasn’t slow on the uptake. Blade knew exactly who he was.
“What are you doing in Las Vegas? Who are these men?” Jonathan asked.
Her stomach rocked with regret and guilt. Jonathan was a great guy. She hadn’t let herself think of him after she’d been forced to return to Gavin. Jonathan was the nice guy women regretted for the rest of their lives. He was gentle, caring and dependable. He coaxed her out of her fear and paranoia and into a healthy relationship that left her cautiously hopeful until Gavin ruthlessly took over again.
“Why did you leave, Morgan?” Jonathan asked.
The ache in his voice made her eyes sting with tears. After all this time he still cared.
Lyla opened her mouth, but no sound came out. Blade propelled her forward. She had no choice but to try to keep up with him.
“Morgan!” Jonathan kept his distance so her guards wouldn’t get physical with him. “What’s going on? Who are these people?”
“We’re her security detail,” Blade said. “I’d back off if I were you.”
“Why do you need security?”
Lyla closed her eyes against the sound of his voice, which roused nostalgia and happy memories that clashed with her recent panic attack. Her insides were a mishmash of emotion and turbulence.
“Morgan, tell me why you left,” he begged.
Morgan. That name belonged to a woman who didn’t exist. Lyla blinked back tears. Seeing Jonathan was just too much on top of everything else. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here for a conference. Why do you need security? Did something happen? Are you all right?”
“She’s married to the casino owner, Gavin Pyre,” Blade said abruptly. “I’d watch my step if I were you.”
Jonathan stopped in his tracks and disappeared from sight as Blade marched her along.
When Lyla discovered who Gavin was beneath the tailored suits, she left him. She got as far away from Gavin as possible and met Jonathan who could offer her the normal life she wanted. Jonathan loved her out of her trust issues and many hang-ups. Nothing dissuaded Jonathan. He became her rock and talked about moving to the suburbs, owning his own company and having her be a stay at home mom. That felt like a lifetime ago.
“There’s no going back,” Blade said.
Lyla glanced at him. “I know that.”
“Then why do you look so devastated?”
Blade led her to Gavin’s office and gave a perfunctory knock before he opened the door. Nora stood on Gavin’s desk, hands braced against her father’s chest as he conducted a business call on speakerphone. Blade closed the door behind her. Lyla stood there for a moment, trying to get herself together. Nora bounced excitedly and held out her hands. Lyla forced herself to move.
“Hold,” Gavin said and pressed the mute button on the phone.
With one arm wrapped around their daughter, he grasped her by the chin and kissed her. Lyla was too rattled by Jonathan’s appearance to respond. Gavin pulled back. She felt the heat of his gaze on her face, but didn’t look up.
“Okay?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
Lyla settled on Gavin’s couch with Nora and shifted her scarf so she could breastfeed. Gavin resumed his call and paced as he talked on the phone.
Seeing Jonathan had shaken her to the core. Cozy memories of a life she forced herself to forget drifted through her mind. Jonathan was the first person to make her feel safe after she left Gavin. She’d begun to believe that she could have a future and some kind of normal in her life. If she stayed with Jonathan would they be married? Life with Jonathan would be smooth sailing. She wouldn’t be scarred, responsible for killing at least two men or be dogged by panic attacks.
Her eyes latched on Gavin as he paced. Jonathan and Gavin couldn’t be more different from one another. Gavin was dominant and possessed an aura of power and danger that was palpable. His role as the crime lord fed his natural tendency to control and manipulate things to his liking. Even as a teenager, she sensed something wild inside of Gavin and ignored it to her own cost. He was borderline psychotic, possessive and domineering, but he loved her
Gavin caught her staring and raised a brow. Lyla immediately shifted her gaze to Nora. She leaned down to draw in her sweet scent and wasn’t prepared for the onslaught of sorrow. She had lost so many people—Manny, Vinny, her parents. Jonathan was a man she would trust with her life, but if he knew the real her he would run and never look back. Her heart squeezed painfully over things that could never be.
That note of hurt in his voice when he asked why she left made her feel like crap. The day Blade came for her was the first time Jonathan had gone on a business trip since they moved in together. Did Jonathan think she had been waiting for him to travel so she could leave him?
“Lyla?”
She jerked and saw Gavin watching her. Apparently, he had finished his call.
Gavin frowned. “What’s wrong?”
She cleared her throat and adjusted Nora in her arms. “Nothing’s wrong.”
There was a long silence. She clenched her teeth and hoped she appeared serene rather than deeply troubled.
Lyla mentally bitch slapped herself. Jonathan was her past. There was no sense in wondering what could have been. This was her reality. She was married to Gavin Pyre and had a child with him. Her life would never be normal. She would have security guards, a gun and night terrors for the rest of her life. She couldn’t get rid of her scars or change the fact that Gavin blackmailed her into leaving Jonathan and then coerced her into marriage by threatening Carmen’s life. Gavin was who he was and she... She was now a part of him, good and bad.
“How did the meeting with Alice go?” Gavin asked.
Lyla placed Nora on her shoulder and rubbed her back. “It went well. Your donation for the hospital is very generous.”
“It’s a good cause.” Gavin paused and then said, “I don’t want you going to the event.”
“I’m going,” she said with more heat than she intended.
Gavin’s brows drew together.
She tried to soften her tone. “Like you said, it’s a good cause and they need as many hands as they can. I want to be a part of it.”
“There will be other events.”
Lyla tensed. “I want to go to this one.”
“I said no, Lyla.”
After the effort Alice, Janice and the employees exerted, the least she could do was show up. Besides, she needed to do something productive and be reminded that there were good people in the world, not only scum. Why spend another day pacing the house, waiting for bad news when she could be doing something that would make a difference?
“I’m going,” Lyla said firmly.
There was a loaded silence in the soundproof office.
“You haven’t left the house for months and now you want to volunteer at a hospital event to give him another shot?”
She didn’t need clarification on who Gavin was referring to. “I’m not going to the mall, Gavin. I’m going to an event being hosted by your foundation.”
“No.”
No discussion, no elaboration. Just, no. The dictator telling her what she could and couldn’t do. She ground her teeth.
“Blade will come with me. So will the other guards. I’ve been training—”
“You train in case of an emergency, not so you can attend parties.”
“It’s not a party!”
He slashed a hand through the air. “This isn’t a discussion, Lyla. My answer’s no.”
“I already told Janice and Alice I would be there.”
“I’ll talk to them.”
Lyla glared at him. “So I’m supposed to stay cooped up in the house forever?”
“Not forever, just until I find him.”
“And when will that be?”
Gavin’s eyes narrowed into slits. “What’s gotten into you?”
“I need something to look forward to.”
Her bottled up emotions churned inside of her—the four months without him, the need to be a part of something positive and after seeing Jonathan, the need to appear normal.
Nora fussed, making Lyla feel awful for raising her voice. She was still shaken from her panic attack and seeing Jonathan. She definitely wasn’t up to the challenge of arguing with Gavin.
“You haven’t complained about being confined,” Gavin pointed out. “This morning you were scared to leave the house and now you want to attend a large public event?”
She closed her eyes and tried to rein in her temper. She didn’t want to fight. “This is important to me.”
“Like I said, there will be other events you can attend in the future. I’m through discussing this.”
There was a short knock before Carmen poked her head in the office. “There you are.”
Lyla was relieved by the interruption. She got to her feet and slung the baby bag over her shoulder. “I want to go for a walk.”
Carmen looked between her and Gavin. “Sure.”
Gavin didn’t say anything as she walked out of the office. Blade eyed her suspiciously as she made her way through the employee hallway. Lyla placed Nora in the stroller and grit her teeth when Blade and the rest of her security detail surrounded them. Seeing Jonathan made her realize how fucked up her life was. Security guards, guns and the constant threat of violence—that was her reality. The woman Jonathan knew no longer existed.
“What’s going on?” Carmen asked.
Lyla gripped the handles of the stroller and attempted to smile at the employees she recognized from other events.
“I just saw Jonathan,” Lyla said through clenched teeth.
“Who?” Carmen asked.
“My ex.”
“What ex?”
Lyla gave her a baleful look. Carmen’s mouth sagged a little.
“Here? Did he see you?”
“Oh, yeah, he saw me.”
“Does Gavin know?”
“No.”
“What is he doing here?”
“He’s here for a conference.”
“You talked to him?” Carmen asked, scandalized.
“I was having a panic attack and he noticed me. Maybe that got his attention, I don’t know.” Lyla grimaced and shook her head. “He wanted to know why I left him.”
“It’s been, what, three years since you left? I can’t believe he spoke to you. Most guys would have flipped you off.”
“Jonathan’s not like that.”
“He’s an IT consultant, right?”
“Right.”
“What is that, by the way?”
“I don’t know. He’s obsessed with computers.”
Carmen shook her head. “I can’t imagine you with anyone besides Gavin.”
When they turned toward the casino, Blade materialized at her side.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I want to go home.”
Blade pulled out his phone. She had no doubt who he was calling. She resisted the urge to slap the phone out of his hand and decided her energy was put to better use keeping an eye out for Jonathan.
“Lyla wants to go home,” Blade said and then handed the phone to her.
Lyla wanted to ignore the phone, but knew she wouldn’t be able to leave without Gavin’s consent, which grated on her nerves. Coming out today had definitely been a mistake. The measures Gavin took to ensure her safety now felt like a noose around her neck. Jonathan reminded her of a life that didn’t require such strict rules.
Lyla took the phone from Blade. “Yes?”
“What’s wrong with you?” Gavin growled.
“Nothing’s wrong with me. I want to go home.”
“You fight to go to the hospital event and when I tell you no for your own good, you want to leave?”
“I’m tired.” It was the truth. The past two hours put her through the emotional wringer.
“You weren’t tired before you went to that meeting with Alice and you weren’t tired a minute ago when you argued with me.”
God, he was such a bulldog. “I don’t want to argue, I just want to go home.”
“We’ll talk when I come home.”
That surprised her. “You’re coming home tonight?”
“Yes.” He sounded as if he was speaking through clenched teeth. “You welcomed me home last night and you’re going to do the same tonight. If this meeting couldn’t be put off, I’d force you to come back to the office and settle this now.”
“There’s nothing to settle. You said no and I’m supposed to do what you say, right?” She wasn’t sure where the words were coming from, but they were coming out strong and full of attitude.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Carmen make a clawing motion. Clearly, she approved, but Blade shook his head in warning.
“You’re going to pay for that,” Gavin promised. “Give the phone to Blade.”
Her mouth was a tad bit dry as she handed the phone to Blade who listened for a moment and then pocketed it. He led the way into the casino, which meant Gavin gave his permission for her to leave.
“Holy shit, Lyla. You’re baiting him. I hope you can take the heat,” Carmen said.
She wasn’t trying to bait him. The last huge fight they had was when he forced her to marry him. To date, she had never won a fight, but she was too pissed off to care.
“Are you doing this purposely so he’ll punish you?” Carmen drawled.
Lyla gave her a baleful look.
“Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.”
Blade and the rest of her guards stopped just outside of the lobby. She listened with half an ear as Blade told the driver to bring the SUV around. Lyla searched the milling crowd for Jonathan.
“Do you see him?” Carmen asked in a low undertone, eagerly scanning the crowd.
Was she that obvious? “No.”
“Was he good in bed?”
After being dominated by Gavin in her teens, Jonathan’s gentle lovemaking made her feel cherished and empowered. He let her lead and their time together had been filled with affection and laughter. She couldn’t begin to compare fucking Gavin to making love with Jonathan. The experience couldn’t be more different.
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