"Please, Andrew. Tell me why." I'm hysterical now. I'm full out crying my eyes out and he's still giving me no answers at all. I don't deserve this. All this is happening because of that damn messenger.
"Nina, for your safety I can't tell you. You just have to understand!" Andrew begins to cry. Tears start falling down his face. "Just please don't blame yourself. You don't know how I feel. Everyday I wake up and all I can think about is you. You're the first person I want to see when I wake up each morning and when I go to sleep each night," he pauses for a few seconds. "I always told myself, some day I would find someone who would make me feel like the wait was worth it, someone that would give me a reason to want to exist in this world, give me a reason to start living again," he pauses again for a few seconds. "That someone is you." I can hear the sincerity in his voice.
I just sit there. He leaves me speechless. He loves me. I know he does. I don't need to hear him say it. I'm the reason why he wants to exist in this world, but what do I say back? There's no way I can say anything that would amount to what he said. Looking at him, he looks absolutely flawless. His pale white skin. His beautiful eyes. He's amazing, everything about him. Even though I hate to see him cry. It's heartbreaking. I'm not sure if I should tell him how I feel. I've been trying to guard my heart for so long. I have built this wall so high and so thick around my heart to keep it from getting broken. I have to try to keep it guarded because he could have it all too easily, but I can't go my whole life being scared of getting hurt. I have to take chances and let people in. I think I really do want him to have my heart. I want him to be the one that has the other half of me to make me whole. He needs to know how I feel. It's now or never.
"I need you in my life, Andrew," I admit with so much emotion. I begin to raise my voice a little. "You don't think your name doesn't come across my mind every minute, every second of every day? After my father died, I had trouble getting out of bed each morning. I was depressed. I always put a fake smile on my face throughout the time he's been gone, but with you, I don't have to pretend to smile anymore. It's real. You make me want to live again. You give me hope. You give me a reason to still want to be in this world. It's safe to say that we're both on the same page!" It's a relief to tell him how I feel. I've been holding it in for much to long now. Every word that came out of my mouth is the truth. I haven't smiled one real smile since my dad was gone, until now.
He stares at me for a moment and sighs. Then he puts his head down. He still has tears running down his face.
We sit in silence for a few minutes. I think we are both just trying to soak up what was just said. Then he breaks the silence with a soft voice. "I'm determined to do everything it takes to keep you safe. I promise you that," he says and then pauses for a second. "I think it's best if you go into your house now," he says as he's looking down.
I shake my head to agree to his request and get out of his car. I think it would be best if we both just take a couple of days to think about what just happened.
Andrew starts his car up and begins to drive down the road. I feel the urge to follow him, but it's like my feet won't work. They won't move. I was so emotionally unstable before I met Andrew and now it's going to be worse. I'm so confused and so utterly heartbroken.
In that instant, I know that I'm absolutely in love with Andrew Madsen.
CHAPTER 13
1 Week Later
Dear Diary,
It's been a whole week since I've heard from Andrew. I'm getting sick of him ignoring me. He hasn't shown up for school or answered my phone calls. Something is truly wrong. I feel it in the pit of my stomach. I just confessed my love for him and now he's avoiding me. It just doesn't make sense. I really believed he felt the same way about me. He gave me all the right signs. The dates, the car rides to school, the CD he made for me. Why is he acting so distant? It was like he jumped off the planet into a new world and forgot all about me. What's Andrew hiding from me? I thought he loved me back. All of these secrets are filling the air and it feels like they're going to start suffocating me soon if I don't figure them out.
Love, Nina
* * * *
Sitting in class this morning is miserable. I don't want to be here right now. I can't sit still or pay attention. I don't understand what the teacher is going on about. I catch myself looking at the clock every few seconds. My mind is racing. My thoughts are all screwed up and going crazy inside my head. Questions are floating around in my brain waiting to be answered. The only one that can answer them is Andrew. I doubt he's even in school today. He hasn't been here in a week. Butterflies fill my stomach at the thought of his name. Even if Andrew's in school what would I do? Would I go up to him and confess my love for him again or would I punch him in the face for ignoring me for this long? Knowing me, I would get nervous and completely shut him out and pretend he doesn't even exist until he comes up and approaches me first.
I've been waiting a week. A whole seven days for him to come up and approach me. That obviously hasn't worked out. I'm in a position where I have to either keep waiting for him or go to his house to sort this whole mess out myself.
The first option, waiting for him, that would probably drive me insane. I don't have that much patience. I've already been waiting a week. It's been the longest seven days of my entire life. He hasn't even called me or texted me.
The second option, go to his house, is kind of terrifying me every time I think about it. I can't just go to his house and start demanding answers to what the hell is going on with him.
Actually, I could.
My patience grows weak. There's no way I can wait for him. Who knows how long I would be waiting. Maybe a few more weeks or maybe even a month. I would be miserable the whole time.
The bell finally rings and I jump up and head for the door.
Option two is now in motion.
* * * *
While driving to Andrew's house, I try to think of what I'm going to say first. Maybe I should just start with the most obvious question and ask him what the hell happened last week. That would be a good start to try to end this madness creeping inside my thoughts.
I pull into Andrew's driveway and my nerves are definitely getting the best of me right now. I feel my palms sweating and shaking. I wipe the sweat, that's starting to form on my forehead, away.
I stop the car, put it in park, and turn my engine off. It feels like the butterflies inside my stomach have been poisoned, and I feel like I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I can't do this. Why did I come here? I think I made a huge mistake. This is so desperate.
It's just my nerves talking. I have to continue to keep telling myself this, over and over again until I reach his door. It's not desperate of me to demand answers. All of this nonsense happened because of that stupid messenger. I can't even understand what the hell is going on. One minute Andrew and I are lovey dovey and the next minute we aren't on talking terms. This is absurd.
I hesitate to knock on the door. My fist is in the position to knock, but it won't move. I feel paralyzed. I'm unable to move.
Then, the door bursts open. It's William. "I thought I heard someone pull into the driveway."
My mouth won't move. The words I'm trying to say won't come out.
"Are you looking for Andrew?" William asks me. My mouth still won't cooperate, so I just nod yes.
I'm able to get my head to move up and down. That's the most I can do at this point. I need to slap myself out of this state of mind.
"Andrew," William yells.
I take a deep breath and try to shake my nerves away. I can't get any words out to William, but I hope that doesn't happen when I'm face to face with Andrew.
I see Andrew's face coming toward me. He walks outside and shuts the door behind him. Andrew's eyes meet mine only one time and then it feels like he's trying to avoid eye contact with me. We're both standing here in utter silence and I decide it's time to change that. "What happened last week?" The words choke out of my mouth. "I'
ve been trying to make sense of it for seven days now. Just tell me what's going on Andrew. Help me make sense of this all," I shout.
Andrew sighs and takes a deep breath. "I don't think it's safe for us to be together," he hesitates to say.
"What the hell do you mean it's not safe for us to be together?" I yell. I just want to get a straight answer out of him for once.
"Nina!" Andrew yells. "I'm not human," he pauses for a moment. "Is that what you want to hear?" I just stand here with no words at all. Andrew just said he wasn't human. What on earth is he talking about?
"What do you mean by 'you're not human'?" I ask with complete confusion.
"It's safer for you if you don't know what I am." I think I should be the judge of what's safe for me to be involved in or not.
"Andrew," I pause. "What are you, if you aren't human?"
"I'm a monster. That's what I am," he confesses.
"No, you're not," I say as I start to cry. Andrew's the sweetest guy I've ever met, with such a gentle and warm heart. He could never be portrayed as a monster. That's just nonsense.
"I feel like we share this kind of love that is dark. The kind of love that exists when we let fear guide the way we love each other. My fear has been you knowing what I am," Andrew says as he starts tearing up.
"You can trust me, Andrew. Tell me what you are?" I ask.
Andrew stands there staring into my eyes. If eyes could speak, his would be telling me that he's going to regret what he's about to say to me. "I'm a," he pauses. We're still looking into each other's eyes, "I'm a vampire."
I just stand here with no expression on my face. My emotions don't know what to do or know how to feel. The word vampire is echoing in my head. This can't be happening. "What?" I ask as I'm disoriented and unstable. That's all I manage to get out of my mouth.
"I'm a vampire, Nina," Andrew says as his eyes can't seem to be able to meet mine.
"A vampire?" I ask. Andrew stands there and shakes his head.
A vampire. This is insane. I hear about them in stories and see them in movies, but supposedly one is standing right in front of me. I'm in love with one.
My hands go up to my face as I gasp for air. Reality just doesn't seem like it's actually real.
All of the sudden, it's happening again. My body is starting to shut down and I start to feel weightless. My body starts leaning to the side as if I'm about to tumble over onto the hard surface of the ground. My eyes began to close and all I see is darkness.
* * * *
I feel my eyes flutter open. I pick up my head and look around at my surroundings. I'm in my room. I must have been dreaming. I had a dream that Andrew told me he's a vampire. That's deranged, and I'm delirious.
I sigh in relief as I sit up and stretch my arms far above my head. It must be Saturday morning. I slept all through the afternoon and the night time of yesterday. I must have been really tired.
I rub my eyes and try to wake myself up. How am I still tired? That's impossible. I get off my bed and go look at myself in the mirror. I look like I'm exhausted. It can't be possible. I rub my eyes again and look back at myself in the mirror. My hair is a disaster. Some of my makeup is all over my face. I look like I need to go back to sleep, but I've already slept way too long. What I really do need is a shower or a cup of hot tea.
I catch a glimpse of a piece of paper that's taped to my mirror. I grab it and it's folded up neatly. I wonder who taped it to my mirror.
It's a note from Andrew. The note says, "Nina, I'm deeply sorry for causing you to faint last night. I caught you, again. So, you should be alright, physically. Mentally, I know your head is all messed up with thoughts and accusations about what I told you. Please know that I only want the best for you. If you want to talk, you know where to find me. Love, Andrew."
It wasn't a dream. It's real. Andrew's a vampire.
CHAPTER 14
Ambrogio and Selene
Dear Diary,
Andrew confessed to me that he's a vampire. It sounds strange, but I believe him. All my life I've grown up watching movies and reading books about vampires. I've never once thought it was real. It was always this fantasy world that people lived in. Vampires are not fantasy creatures, they're real. They live and walk among us secretly. At this moment I believe that if I were to walk outside and look into the sky that there would be flying pigs smiling at me and yelling my name.
I'm in love with a vampire. I don't know if I should fear him or accept him. I try to keep telling myself that I'm dreaming and soon I will wake up to the sound of my mother's voice waking me up from school. So far, I haven't woken up from this dream in my head. It must be real life. How am I ever going to be able to keep something like this a secret?
Love, Nina
* * * *
I have to be dreaming. This can't be real. There's absolutely no way that I'm in love with a vampire. I sit on my bed for an hour trying to pinch and slap myself to try to wake myself up, but it isn't working.
Reality finally kicks in. I definitely am in love with Andrew. He's a vampire. His sister and brother must be vampires. Vampires are real.
All of the sudden, without even thinking, I grab my purse and my keys and head for my car. I need to make sense of all this vampire talk. I have questions that need answers. I have to go to Andrew's house. I need to talk to him.
* * * *
I arrive at Andrew's house. It only takes me about ten minutes. I sit in my car for a minute trying to gather my thoughts. When all of a sudden Andrew's knocking on my window. I jump and scream at the same time, "AH." Does he really have to sneak up on me like that? He can't do that. Especially with me now knowing he's a vampire. Is he trying to give me a heart attack?
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to startle you," Andrew says as he's opening my door.
"It's fine. As long as you aren't going to drain all of my blood out." I stare at him with a somber face.
"Very humorous," he says. I'm not trying to make it seem like a joke. I'm being absolutely serious. There's nothing comical about this situation.
"I have questions that need answers. That's why I'm here."
"Well, I might just have answers to your questions. You want to come inside?" he asks. Is he joking?
"I would rather not. Let's take a walk," I say.
"Fine with me," Andrew mumbles.
We start walking through a path in the woods that leads us to a lake. The whole time we stay quiet. Once we reach a rock next to the lake we sit down and watch the water.
It's peaceful out here. The only sounds I hear is the creatures in the lake water.
It takes me a minute to find the right question to ask first. "You're a vampire," I say as I look around the woods to make sure no one heard me say those words.
"Yes, I am," he confirms. It's not a dream.
"How long have you been one?" I ask.
"I was born in 1886 and I've been a vampire since 1904," he says as he's staring off into the lake.
"Wow," I say. I'm completely astounded. I'm still trying to get sense of this all. "So, that makes you," I begin to say and then he interrupts me.
"127 years old," he giggles a little bit. It's not a humerous giggle. It's more like a 'I can't believe I am actually telling you this' type of laugh.
"How? I don't understand how vampires can actually exist." Is all I manage to force out of my mouth.
"My kind has existed for thousands of years," he says. "In secrecy."
"How though?"
"It all started with Ambrogio and Selene." He's still staring off into the lake.
"Who?"
"You know how they say humans exist from Adam and Eve?" he asks me.
"Yes," I say back.
"Well, in the vampire world it has been said that we exist from Ambrogio and Selene."
"Tell me more," I say. I want to know everything I can. That's why I came here, to try to make sense of this all.
"Ambrogio went to Greece to have his fortune read by the Oracle of Delphi. H
e boarded a ship and sailed to the western edge of Greece," Andrew begins saying. "Are you sure you want to hear this story? It's pretty long?" he asks me.
"Yes, I have time. Keep going," I confirm. I'm already interested in the story.
"Delphi had a great temple of Apollo, the Sun God. It was home to the Pythia. The Pythia always sat in a chamber within the temple, telling fortunes to whoever wanted the Oracle's wisdom.
When Ambrogio arrived at the temple, he went to speak to the Pythia. The Pythia said only a few words to him, "The curse, the moon, the blood will run." Ambrogio was confused because he had no idea what the Pythia was talking about.
The next day, Ambrogio saw a beautiful women walking to the temple. He introduced himself to her. Her name was Selene and she was a maiden of the temple." Andrew looks so lost in his story. I will have to admit, I am too.
"For the next few days, every morning he met Selene before she went into the temple. They soon fell in love.
When it was Ambrogio's last day in Greece, he asked Selene to marry him and move back to Italy with him. She agreed to his proposal. He then told her he would make all of the arrangments and then meet her at their usual meeting spot outside the temple at dawn the next morning," Andrew pauses for a moment. I start to realize that it's a love story. "Apollo, the Sun God, was very angry to find out that Ambrogio came to his temple and is taking away one of his maidens. Apollo then appeared to Ambrogio and cursed him. It was a sunlight curse. The touch of Apollo's sunlight would burn Ambrogio's skin instantly.
Ambrogio ended up having no where to go, he ran to a cave that lead him to Hades, God of the Underworld, for protection.
Hades listened to Ambrogio's story and made him a deal. The deal was for Ambrogio to steal the silver bow of Artemis and bring it back, then Hades would grant him and Selene protection in the underworld. But, Ambrogio had to leave his soul in Hades as collateral. If Ambrogio returned to Hades without the bow, he would have to live in Hades forever.
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