by Terra Wolf
“We can argue about whose fault it was all night,” Kellan said. “Or we can just talk about the future. What happens now?”
“What do you mean?” I asked. My stomach wiggled nervously. I knew this conversation was coming, but I wasn’t sure how to proceed. What if Kellan still wanted us to run away together? Or what if he wanted custody? What did that look like?
“How do we navigate our new situation?” Kellan asked. “Now that Lillian knows about me and I know about her, I can’t stay away. I want to be in her life, Julia. I have to be. She needs me too, you know that.”
“And I want that, too,” I promised. “I would never think of keeping her from you again.”
“I know you wouldn’t,” Kellan smiled. “And I love you for that.”
Kellan’s words sent a spark flying up my spine. I felt myself flush as our eyes met. He reached forward and took my hand in his. He raised it to his lips and kissed my palm gently. I couldn’t breathe, I was so shocked I couldn’t move.
After our fight and the revelations from that morning, I didn’t think Kellan would still want to be with me. I thought any chance of us being together was long gone. Keeping Lillian from him was something I wasn’t sure he would ever forgive.
“I thought you were mad at me,” I said weakly.
“I am,” he admitted. “I’ll probably be mad at you for a long time, but I’m willing to bet you’re just as mad at me. Everything that happened today doesn’t change our history. We can’t fix this overnight, but I want to try. If you do.”
“I don’t know how we do that,” I said softly. “Where do we go from here?”
Kellan didn’t answer. He just looked into my eyes for a few seconds before leaning forward and kissing me gently. The second our lips met I knew I would do anything to make things work between us. The idea of leaving Kellan behind wasn’t even a possibility anymore. I needed him too much.
We kissed slowly, our lips dancing and our tongues barely peeking into each other’s mouths. It was slow and deliberate. Every emotion we felt was being poured into that kiss and I felt it in my entire body. My desire for him wasn’t hungry and desperate like I was used to, it was complex and well thought out. I considered our past and our future and still, I wanted him.
I pulled away from him reluctantly. I knew where the kiss was leading, but I also knew our daughter could walk in at any moment.
“Let me get Lillian to bed,” I said. “I’ll meet you in my room.”
Twenty- Seven
Julia
Once Lillian was fast asleep, I pulled the blankets up to her neck and kissed her forehead. I’d just finished reading her three different bedtime stories and promising her ten times that she would see Kellan in the morning. It took longer than normal for her to fall asleep, but I knew it was because she’d had such an eventful day.
“Hey, you,” I whispered as I closed the door quietly. Kellan was laying on the bed in my childhood bedroom. His body looked too big for the tiny bed, but I couldn’t help but grin at the sight. He smiled back and held his arms out to me.
“Come here,” he ordered.
I moved toward him, taking my clothes off as I did. He watched me with hungry eyes, but didn’t move. I knew our passion was still there. We still longed for each other as much as we ever had, but that night wasn’t about passion. It was about forgiveness. Possibility.
As I pulled Kellan’s shirt over his head and he stepped out of his boxers, we touched each other’s skin lightly. Kellan kissed my shoulder softly, barely letting his lips touch me. He laid me down on the pillows and braced himself above me, his eyes never leaving mine.
Our lips touched and I sighed deeply. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him again and again. I let everything out in that kiss. All my anger, all my resentment, every negative emotion I’d ever felt for him, escaped inside that one kiss. Our tongues met and I knew he was doing the same. He was slowly forgiving me for hiding my pregnancy, for not telling him about our daughter. As we kissed and held each other’s naked bodies, we let go of the past.
“I love you,” Kellan whispered against my lips.
“I love you, too,” I said back.
His lips moved down to my neck where he licked me slowly. My skin tickled and my entire body trembled. That night, Kellan kissed every inch of my body. We weren’t in a hurry. We had all the time in the world. We teased and played with each other. He tasted me and I tasted him until we finally had to have each other.
“I want to remember this,” he said roughly as pulled me up. He sat up on the bed and I straddled his waist, slowly sliding him inside of me. “Every second of this moment. I want to memorize the way you feel.”
I kissed him and pushed him deeper inside of me. His hands massaged the skin on my back as we moved in perfect synchrony. Our tongues found each other and we moved faster. I held him tighter than I ever had. My lips found the muscles on his arms. I kissed every part of him I could reach.
We moved together, more in sync than ever. Our breathing became ragged and our bodies were drenched in sweat, but we kept the same slow pace.
“I could do this for hours,” I moaned into his ear. I nibbled his earlobe and he pushed me backward. I arched my back. He buried his face in my breasts, his tongue flicking across my nipples. My entire body was alive with energy. I knew we wouldn’t last much longer.
Our speed increased, our bodies taking over for us. I sat up and gripped his hair. My hips had a mind of their own. They propelled me up and down on top of him, my toes beginning to curl. He groaned into my neck, trying desperately to stay quiet.
The way he said my name when he finished sent bolts of lightning flying through my body. I felt him shudder inside of me and I knew I could never feel more complete than I did in that moment.
We fell back against the pillows, not bothering to get dressed. We were physically and emotionally drained from the day, but we refused to let go of each other. I listened to Kellan’s heart beating as I fell asleep.
Twenty- Eight
Kellan
“There’s a barbecue today,” Julia whispered, “Three o’clock. You should come.”
It was five in the morning and I was half naked in Julia’s childhood bedroom. It was pitch black outside, but I knew the sun would begin to rise soon. Julia’s parents were home and Lillian would wake in just a couple hours. The last thing anyone needed was to find me there.
“I’ll be there,” I promised. I pulled on my shirt and leaned down to kiss Julia’s lips.
“Three o’clock,” she said again.
“Three o’clock,” I smiled. With that, I ducked out in the hallway and hurried down the stairs. I glanced at Lillian’s bedroom door. It was closed tight and I breathed a sigh of relief. My feet barely made any noise as they tiptoed through the living room and into the kitchen. I’d snuck out of the Prewitt’s house before and I knew the front door made way more noise than the back. When I reached the kitchen, I moved quickly to the door, but a small cough stopped me in my tracks.
I turned around slowly. Julia’s dad was sitting alone at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. If I’d been paying more attention I would have been able to smell the coffee brewing the second I stepped downstairs. Damn, my skills were slipping.
I sighed and walked over to sit beside him. He watched me carefully, his eyes narrowed and his hands wrapped tightly around his coffee mug.
“Good morning, Mr. Prewitt,” I said simply.
“Coffee?” he asked.
“Thank you,” I nodded. Mr. Prewitt stood up and grabbed a mug from the cabinet above the stove. He filled it to the brim and set it down in front of me.
“Black, right?” he asked.
“Always,” I said. I tried to smile, but it was a weak attempt. I knew he had something to say and I knew I wouldn’t like it.
“What are you doing here, Kellan?” he asked simply. His question was an obvious one, but I still didn’t have an answer for him.
�
�Julia and I fell asleep last night,” I said. “I’m sorry, sir. We didn’t mean for it to happen.”
“Which part?” he asked. “Falling asleep or being in the bedroom to begin with?”
“Falling asleep,” I answered honestly.
“That’s great,” he said with a small chuckle. “She’s not even back a week and you already have your hooks in her.”
“That’s not…” I began.
“Listen,” he interrupted. He leaned forward and fixed his angry eyes on my face. “You don’t know what you did to her when you left. You have no idea how badly she was hurt. It’s not right for you to just swoop back in and…”
“I know about Lili,” I said suddenly. Mr. Prewitt’s expression changed from anger to surprise then back to anger again.
“She told you?” he asked.
“She did,” I nodded. “I met Lili yesterday. At Lacey’s. Then we came back here to put her bed and talk about things.”
“I see,” Mr. Prewitt sat back in his chair and took a long sip of coffee. “Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew she would tell you eventually. She should, after all that little girl is like you.”
“I’m glad she did,” I said quickly.
“What do you plan to do about it?” he asked.
I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out. The truth was, I didn’t know exactly what to do. All I knew was that I loved Julia and Lillian.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “We haven’t gotten that far yet.”
Mr. Prewitt nodded and stood up from the table. We took my untouched cup of coffee and dumped it out in the sink. With a meaningful look, he jerked his head toward the back door.
“Well,” he said. “That’s something you should probably go figure out.”
Without a word, I stood up and crossed the kitchen slowly. When I glanced back at him he was busy washing his own mug. I slipped through the back door and out into the early morning, my head spinning.
Twenty- Nine
Kellan
As I walked around the back of the house that afternoon, Mr. Prewitt’s words were still echoing in my ears. I could still see the look on his face as he scrutinized me in the dim kitchen light. He didn’t trust me. That much was obvious. But, what was worse, was the fact that he was right. It was ridiculous that I hadn’t figured out some sort of plan for being in my daughter’s life. How could I have let the night pass without discussing the logistics with Julia? When were they leaving for New York? How often would they come back to Mountain Creek? How many times would Julia allow me to visit them in the city? What would happen when Lilli changed? Would I be able to help her through it?
These questions and more whirled a destructive path through my brain as I stepped into the backyard. I glanced around until I saw Lillian running toward me. She threw her arms around my waist and grabbed my hand.
“Come on,” she said. “There’s food.”
“Sounds great, kiddo,” I told her. “But I need to find your mom first. Do you know where she is?”
“She’s talking to her cousin or something,” Lillian said. She pointed toward the back fence. I followed her finger and saw Julia standing in front of a young woman. They were talking animatedly.
“I’ll be right back,” I promised Lili.
“Okay,” she shrugged and ran off to play. I made my way across the backyard, nodding and smiling to people as I passed. I recognized a few people there, but most of them were strangers. It was a full-fledged Prewitt reunion. There were people everywhere, but I only had eyes for Julia.
“Hey!” she said when she saw me approaching. “I’m glad you’re here.”
I smiled and hugged her quickly. Her cousin was still standing in front of us and I didn’t want to talk with her there.
“Mel,” Julia said. “This is Kellan, Lillian’s father.”
“Oh my God, the hunky bear shifter, so nice to finally meet you,” Mel said. Her eyes lit up with excitement as she extended her hand to me. I shook it and smiled widely. Suddenly, everything began to click into place.
Hearing Julia call me Lillian’s father made everything seem clear. There wasn’t anything I wanted more than Julia and Lili. I couldn’t imagine my life without the two of them in it. In that moment, I knew that staying in Mountain Creek wasn’t an option. I knew exactly what I needed to do.
“It’s nice to meet you,” I said to Mel before I turned my attention to Julia. “Julia, can we talk somewhere?”
“Sure,” she said. She waved at Mel and led the way over to the garage. We slipped inside and she turned to face me with a worried expression. “What is it? Is everything okay?”
“It’s more than okay,” I smiled. “I just realized something.”
“What’s that?” she asked.
I took a step forward and grabbed her hands. I held them tightly and stared into her face, memorizing the way her blue eyes looked in that moment.
“I want to come with you,” I said bluntly.
“Come with me?” She asked blankly.
“To New York,” I explained. “I want to go with you. You and Lili.”
“Kellan…”
“Just listen, okay?” I said. “After everything that’s happened this week, I can’t stand to be away from either of you. We already agreed that I would be in Lili’s life, but that’s not enough. I don’t want to see her on weekends or holidays. I want to be with her every day. I want to watch her grow up. I want to help raise her.”
“I want that, too,” Julia said with a smile.
“And I want you,” I said quickly. “It’s not enough to just be Lili’s dad. I want to be with you, Julia. I’ve always wanted that. No matter what has happened these past few years, that’s always been true. You are the love of my life. You are the reason I’m here, the reason I’m still alive after everything I’ve been through. I can’t lose you again.”
“Kellan,” she said. She stepped closer to me and smiled. “I was already going to ask you to come. But this is going to be hard, New York is a city. You need a place to run, to be free.”
“I’ll figure it out, or Central Park will have to do. We’ll make it work.”
She smiled, “Yes we will.”
I laughed and lunged forward. I grabbed her around the waist and lifted her off the ground.
She was mine.
Epilogue
Julia
One Year Later
“Lili, get a move on,” I yelled up the stairs. “You’ll be late for school!”
“I’m right here!” she yelled back as she bounded into view. Her backpack was thrown over her back and her hair was falling all over her face.
“Did you brush your hair?” I asked. Annoyance seeped into my voice.
“Um…”
“Come here,” I ordered. I grabbed her quickly and ran my fingers through her hair, forcing it to lie flat. Her shifter genes were definitely making her hair do some wild things lately. “Go on. Your dad is waiting.”
I followed her into the kitchen where Kellan was making her lunch. He threw a bottle of juice into the lunchbox and zipped it up quickly.
“Morning, kid,” he said, tossing Lili her lunch. She caught it easily and grinned at him.
“Is it peanut butter?” she asked.
“What else would I pack?” he asked. “Let’s go. We’re late.”
“Okay, okay,” she rolled her eyes and gave me a quick hug. “Bye Mom!”
“Bye! Have a good day!”
Kellan gave me a swift kiss and hurried out the front door with Lili following close behind. I waited until their footsteps faded completely before I let myself sink. My stomach was tied in knots as I checked the clock above the stove. I still had two hours before my first meeting of the day.
I walked back to the bathroom and dug underneath the sink for the pregnancy test I hid two days before. When I pulled it out, I felt my heart race wildly. I had a horrible sense of déjà vu, only this time, I wasn’t entirely dreading a positive res
ult.
It had been over a year since Kellan moved in with Lili and me. He moved to New York and took a private security job, which meant he was able to take Lili to school and pick her up. His job only kept him busy in the evenings and it paid great.
Things at the law firm were better than ever. I was working like crazy, but with Kellan’s help I was able to spend more time with Lili. We were a family. It was hard adding Kellan to the mix at first, but he made Lili so happy that I couldn’t help but feel the same way. Having him around made me believe in the fairytale again
As I opened the box and pulled out the stick, my hands began to sweat. I sat down quickly before I talked myself out of it and took it. When I was done, I set it on the counter and waited. I paced back and forth in front of the counter, not knowing which result I was hoping for.
***
Kellan
I dropped Lili off at school and hurried back home. For weeks, I’d been planning this moment. It was the anniversary of the day Julia and I met seven years earlier. There was no better day. My bear was pacing with excitement. He couldn’t wait either.
With my heart racing, I ran through the city. I hurried up our street and hurled myself into the apartment building. I took the stairs two at a time, not slowing down until I made it to our front door. Once outside, I paused for a second.
I took a deep breath and reached my hand into my pocket. I gripped the ring box tightly, turning it over and over in my hand. It felt heavy. Like the most important thing I’d ever held in my life. For weeks, I’d been picturing this moment. I wanted it to be perfect. Julia deserved for it to be perfect.
When I pushed open the door, I was barely breathing. My hand was still stuffed in my pocket, my fingers wrapped about the box. I walked through the apartment, quietly looking for Julia. I wanted it to be a surprise.