Collision

by K. A. Sterritt

  “Not at all. I went to uni for a few years but didn’t finish my degree.” I wasn’t ready to tell her the reason I withdrew. “I’ve been working events and bars ever since. Plus the fights help pay the rent too.”

  “I wanted to live on campus, but my mother wouldn’t let me. I lived at home until I graduated and got a job.”

  “So why didn’t you get an apartment in St Kilda when you were earning your own money if you like it here so much?”

  “My city apartment was a university graduation gift from my parents.”

  “Wow. That’s some gift.”

  “I know.” She shifted on her chair and fidgeted with the end of her long ponytail hanging over her shoulder. “It was ridiculously extravagant and I didn’t want to accept it, but refusing it would’ve ruffled feathers. My mother didn’t like having her feathers ruffled. It would’ve been viewed as a childish act of defiance if I’d refused it. Mum used it as another example of all they did for me and brought it up if I ever put a foot out of place.”

  “So accepting the apartment was a double-edged sword?” I wondered out loud. “Part of you didn’t want to owe them anything that could be used against you, but the little girl in you still yearned to please your mum and dad?”

  She nodded. “They were like two opposing forces. Dad wanted me to be independent whilst Mum wanted my absolute obedience.”

  “Men are wired differently from women.”

  “I get that, but there’s a balance. Neither of them ever really made me feel loved unconditionally.”

  “And you think risking your safety fighting and whatever else you probably do to fill the void is the only answer?”

  She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest. “Here we go again.”

  “I’m just trying to understand you completely, but I’m sorry. Today was meant to be about having some fun.” I stood up and walked around the table, crouching down next to her and taking hold of her hand. “I want to take you on a first date. Where would you like to go?”

  She placed her hand behind my head and leaned down to kiss me. “I think we’re past the first date stage.” She smiled against my lips.

  I sat back so I could look her in the eye. “We might have muddled things up a bit, but I’m trying to rectify the situation here. You kissing me like that just makes me want to throw you on the bed and steal your virtue.”

  Juliette threw her head back and laughed. “Pretty sure that’s long gone.”

  “You know what I mean.” I jumped up, kissing her on the way. “I’m going to get changed. Help yourself to anything in the fridge or cupboards. I want a first date with you.” I desperately hoped Google was going to come to my rescue. Romantic dates were a foreign concept for me, but I was willing to give it a crack.

  “Hey, Leo,” she called out as I walked towards the bathroom. I turned back. “I’m glad I took the day off.”

  “Just so you know, I was going to talk you into it one way or another.”

  She stood up and sauntered towards me. Fuck, she was sexy.

  She put her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear. “Now I wish I’d said no.”

  How was it possible this girl had never felt sexy before? She didn’t take my breath away—I gave it to her willingly. The realisation hit me and warmth spread through my body. I was falling in love with this girl.

  I kissed her hard. “I’d prefer you said ‘yes’. Really loud.” I rested my forehead on hers and kissed her nose.

  “I’m sure that can be arranged.” She chuckled then kissed me with an urgency I hadn’t felt from her before.

  I stumbled over towards the bed and we fell down onto the soft covers together. There was no time for laughing. It was just a blur of clothes and shoes being tossed and flung from our lust-fuelled bodies.

  I loved the way her body fit against my much larger frame. She was strong and confident yet soft and responsive to my touch. What started as a crazy desire to take her hard and fast didn’t last the second I had her naked beneath me, staring up into my eyes. I made love to her the way she deserved. All her life, she’d never felt good enough, and I wanted her to know she was so far beyond good enough. She was making me feel things and consider things I had thought were impossible. I wanted to lose myself in her body, in her smile and in her soul, and then maybe I’d find my way home.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Juliette

  “Studley Park Boathouse? Really? With everything you know about me, is this really what you thought the ideal first date would be?” I asked, somewhere between confusion and amusement.

  “Did you think I’d take you to mud wrestling?”

  I put my hands on my hips but couldn’t help smiling. I had a strong suspicion this would be the first result in a ‘Romantic dates in Melbourne’ Google search. “Well, that might have been closer to the mark.”

  “Settle down, angel.” He grabbed my hand to help me keep my balance as I stepped onto the small row boat. “I’ve got this.”

  “Just so you know, if there’s a flock of swans and a thunderstorm on this date, I’m going to throw myself overboard and swim to shore.”

  “I have no idea what you mean by that, but I’ll take my chances. Do ducks count?”

  “Yes! Ducks count.”

  “Guess I shouldn’t have bought the duck food, then?” He laughed, and I couldn’t help laughing too. He was so hot when he was being cute.

  When I was safely seated opposite him, he pushed off the side with one oar and then got into a steady rhythm. I questioned why I’d mocked this date. I had a front row seat to the hottest man alive making good use of his muscles. He was wearing dark jeans and a black v-neck sweater over a white t-shirt. I cursed the season, wishing he would ditch the sweater.

  “Tell me about Beatrix,” I suggested as Leo rowed effortlessly down river. The serenity was all consuming and lent itself to real conversation, something I realised I had actively avoided with Richard. “Have you known her all your life?”

  Leo smiled. “Bea, Angus and I grew up together. We were like the three amigos as kids and the bond just stuck.”

  “Were she and Angus childhood sweethearts? Were you the third wheel or did another girl infiltrate the trio?”

  “Actually, Bea and I had an on-again off-again relationship through high school.”

  “Oh! What happened? She’s lovely and gorgeous.” I felt a mild pang of jealousy.

  “We were great friends, but the chemistry wasn’t there. I wanted to go away to uni and then see the world, and she wanted to stay home and run a café.”

  “And make the best coffee in the world.”

  “That’s it.” Leo adjusted the oars so they were safely inside the boat. We just drifted with the gentle current. “Angus and I were best mates and decided to apply to the same uni.”

  “Time for you and Angus to sow your wild oats?” I cringed. Another ridiculous pang of jealousy hit me. The idea of him with another girl made me see red.

  Leo laughed. “Are you pissed at me for being with women before I knew you?”

  “No!” Yes.

  Leo threw his head back and laughed mercilessly. “You are so cute.” He leaned forward and kissed me and I kissed him back, because I could never resist kissing him back. “You do realise it was you with the boyfriend when we met, right?”

  “Tell me the rest of the story.” I pushed him lightly on the shoulder.

  “Okay, bossy boots. So it was one drunken evening in our first year, Angus confessed his love for Beatrix. I’d had no idea he was so into her, but as it turned out, he had been broken hearted, fearing his chances with her were gone because of me. Over many, many beers and several manly hugs, I insisted we were just friends and he had my blessing to pursue her.”

  “Wow. Poor Angus.”

  “The next morning, he drove home and declared his love on her doorstep. Apparently, she burst into tears and they never looked back.”

  “Happily ever after.”

  “Pretty
much. He went home to the Yarra Valley every weekend.”

  “And what about you? Actually, don’t tell me.” I held up my hand and turned my head to the side. “I don’t want to hear about all your girlfriends.”

  “Not much to tell, really.” His expression softened and his eyes blazed with passion. “I didn’t know what I was waiting for until I found a lost soul who belonged to me.”

  I gasped. I had no experience with romance, but in my heart, that was the most perfect thing anyone had ever said to anyone.

  A noisy flock of what looked like magpies drew my attention to the bushland lining both sides of the river. It was hard to tell if they were fighting or mating. I smiled. Who needed swans?

  I turned back to the gorgeous man sitting opposite me and sighed.

  “Are you going to say anything?” he asked.

  “I think you need to turn the boat around and paddle us back to shore.”

  Leo looked worried. “Did I say something wrong?”

  “No. You said the most right thing.”

  “I don’t think that’s grammatically correct.”

  “You’re questioning my grammar when I’m trying to tell you how much I loved what you said?”

  Leo chuckled, his beautiful eyes the lightest I’d seen them. “So why do you want to leave?”

  I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees and cupping my face in my hands. “Because I want to sit on your lap and kiss you, and when that happens in the movies, the couple tip the boat and fall overboard.”

  “Well, you were the one who threatened swimming to shore.”

  “I wasn’t serious. The water would be bloody freezing.”

  “So, you just referred to us as a couple.” Leo raised his eyebrows and his expression was unreadable.

  My cheeks immediately flushed. “Um… well, I didn’t exactly. I said couples in movies.”

  Leo’s face erupted in laughter. “I’m kidding. You’re mine. I’m yours. It’s a fait accompli, Jules.”

  “Seriously.” I shook my head, unable to hide my goofy grin. “You need to stop saying stuff like that while I can’t show my appreciation properly.”

  “We have plenty of time for that, beautiful girl.”

  He did, however, turn the boat around and start rowing back the way we’d come.

  “So a romantic boat ride wasn’t so bad after all?” he asked as he helped me onto the small jetty. “I know it wasn’t exactly an adrenaline junkie’s dream.”

  “It was okay,” I taunted, looking back at him over my shoulder as I sauntered away.

  Strong arms hugged me from behind and soft lips kissed my neck. “I guess I’ll have to up my game.”

  I turned to face him and wrapped my arms around his lean waist. “I guess you will, Mr…” I stared at him. “I don’t know your last name.”

  “Ashlar.”

  The name rang a bell somewhere in my mind, but I had no idea why.

  “We really do things the wrong way around, don’t we? I think I just agreed to be your girlfriend without knowing your last name. Who does that?”

  “We do. We’re fucking perfect, Juliette. Don’t question the order of things. Just enjoy the ride.”

  I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. He was right. We were fucking perfect.

  “So what now, Leo Ashlar?”

  “Now I want to make out with you at my apartment, and then I have to be at the bar at eight.”

  “Work? Really?” I was disappointed. I wasn’t ready to be apart from him.

  “Come with me? I’m not ready to be apart from you just yet.”

  “Okay. I’ll give Sia a call and see if she wants to meet me there. She can help me fend off your female groupies.” I remembered watching as every girl had ogled him last time I was there. At the time, he hadn’t been mine and I hadn’t known if he ever would be. This time would be different.

  Leo took my hand and led me back to his Jeep.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Juliette

  On the drive back to Leo’s apartment, I felt peaceful. I loved being with Leo. He was so easy to be around, not only because he was so easy on the eyes but because I could breathe around him. For the first time in my life, someone was really taking the time to get to know me without an agenda. Life had turned around for me in a relatively short period of time. It was just over a month ago that I had first laid eyes on the incredibly gorgeous, and seemingly untouchable, Leo Ashlar. The impact that moment had had on me was unforgettable and set in motion the end of my life as I knew it. I had barely been living. I glanced over to Leo, who appeared to be deep in thought himself as he drove.

  Obviously sensing my gaze, he stole a quick glance and smiled before returning his eyes to the road. “What are you thinking about?”

  “Honestly, I was just thinking about how much my life has changed since I met you.”

  “I’m going to assume you mean for the better.”

  “Absolutely for the better.” I suddenly felt emotional. “I was drowning and I didn’t care.”

  He glanced at me again with a concerned expression but didn’t say anything. We were stopped at a T intersection. Turning left would take us to his home, but he went right and I knew where we were headed.

  ***

  “Chocolate?” Leo guessed.

  “How did you know?”

  “I didn’t, but the way your eyes just lit up, I’m thinking I got it right.”

  “Chocolate is the answer to the problems in the world that coffee can’t fix.”

  “I thought alcohol would rate a mention too as a problem solver?” He handed the money over to the teenager working the ice cream cart.

  “You make a good point. Chocolate, coffee and wine—solving the problems of the world, one guilty pleasure at a time.”

  Once we had our ice creams, Leo took my hand and we walked along the St Kilda pier and stopped halfway along and leaned against the railing. It really was the most incredible view of Port Phillip, and the sunset was casting a peach glow over the Bay.

  “It used to be all about the sunrise for me, but now I prefer the sunset.”

  I managed to smudge ice cream on my face from laughing. “Leo Ashlar. You are a soppy romantic. How was it that you didn’t pick up on my reference to the Nicholas Sparks’ novel The Notebook back at the boathouse?

  “Excuse me.” He smiled, but only briefly. “My reason isn’t romantic, I’m afraid.” He stared out across the water.

  “I’m sorry for laughing.” I touched his arm and he placed his hand over mine, holding it in place. “Tell me why you love the sunset,” I whispered.

  “Tell me first why you felt like you were drowning and didn’t care.”

  I exhaled a long breath. I’d never talked about it before, and part of me was scared to verbalise the dark thoughts I’d always had. Leo, however, made me feel so safe, and I loved that he cared. I stepped up onto the bottom railing so I could lean over the top and peer down at the dark water below. “I use my mind and my body to escape.” The water swirled below and I closed my eyes, mentally imagining tipping myself forward and tumbling down until I splashed through the rough surface. “I imagine myself plunging into water and I enjoy the sensation of sinking into the darkness. It’s completely silent and I can shut out the voices.”

  “That’s fucked up, Juliette.”

  I snapped my eyes open and looked into the fearful eyes of Leo.

  “I didn’t actually do it. Obviously,” I retorted, upset by his angry reaction “I just imagined it and I found it relaxed me.”

  “You find it relaxing?” he asked, clenching his jaw.

  I stepped down off the railing and started walking away. He grabbed my arm before I made it two steps. “Where are you going?”

  “I just opened up to you with something very personal and you shot me down.” My eyes glazed with disappointment.

  “Life isn’t something you throw away because it gets too hard.” He took my hand in his and brought me back to the ra
iling. “When most people feel their hand is being forced, their instinct is either fight or flight. Mine is fight. With you, it’s both. You run towards danger to escape. Even your imagination is reckless and suicidal.” The intensity of his eyes made my pulse quicken. “Open your eyes, Juliette. Stop seeing the darkness as your way out.”

  “You love the sunset. Isn’t that the prelude to darkness?”

  “You can be quite depressing.” He chuckled lightly. “The night is lit up by a billion stars. If you focus on the black sky, you’re missing the light show.”

  I looked up into the darkening sky and saw a few evening stars. I’d never noticed them before. “You’re a surprising man, Leo Ashlar.”

  “Come on. I have to get changed for work, but tomorrow night I’m going to take you to a light show.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Leo

  I desperately didn’t want to go to work. It had been a big day for us, and I wanted nothing more than to be alone with her. Instead, I had to work in a busy bar and sneak as many moments with her as I could.

  “Give me fifteen minutes?” she asked, kissing me before disappearing towards her bedroom.

  We’d stopped by her apartment on the way to the bar so she could get changed. While she was in the shower, I called Angus.

  “Hey, mate. What’s up?”

  “I’m taking Jules to the farm tomorrow night. Any chance we can crash at yours if it gets too late to drive home?”

  “Course, mate. You know you’re always welcome and I know Bea will be stoked to have Jules here.”

  I heard Bea in the background querying him.

  “Leo?” Bea had taken the phone from her husband. “That girl is a very positive influence on you.”

  “It’s not a big deal, Bea.”

  “It’s a massive deal. For five years you barely set foot on the place, and since you met her—”

  I cut her off. “No big deal.”

  “I’m happy you found her, or maybe she found you. Who knows? Maybe you’ll talk to her about what happened.”