Collision

by K. A. Sterritt

  “Thanks,” I replied sarcastically. “I like your dress.”

  “I’ll be in my office if you need me,” Dad said. “You mother would like some private time with you.”

  “Fine.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I’d get this over and done with and then I’d go home and hide from the world. I was teetering on the edge of a full-blown freak-out session.

  We walked down the hallway towards the back of the house and I inhaled the smell of Jean’s homemade chocolate chip cookies.

  Before saying anything, she busied herself getting the tea ready. I was even being honoured with the use of her Versace cups and saucers.

  “How are you feeling, Mum?” I asked tentatively.

  She looked up at me and smiled. “Wonderful. Thank you.”

  “Really?” I recoiled. I didn’t mean to say that out loud. “I mean. That’s great.”

  When the tea was ready, we moved to the lounge room and sat in the wing chairs facing the fireplace.

  “I’m sorry for what happened at Richard’s house.” She took a sip of her tea, holding the cup’s handle delicately between her thumb and pointer finger. “I wasn’t myself at all.”

  “It’s okay, Mum.” I felt numb to her apology. “I’m just glad you’re going to get some help.” I stared into my cup and gently moved it around, fixating on the swirling tea and occasional tea leaf popping to the surface.

  “You need to know something about Leo before you throw your life away.”

  “What do you mean?” I looked at her, suddenly wary.

  “He’s not right for you and he knows it.”

  I shook my head and sighed. “Mum, I need you to let me make my own mistakes. I need to live my own life.”

  “I’m really sorry to tell you this, darling, but I wanted to show you what kind of man he was. I offered him a generous monthly allowance to stay away from you.”

  I almost dropped the expensive gold-plated cup when I jumped up. “You did what?” I snarled, outraged.

  “Sit down, Juliette. I’ve done you a favour.”

  “By offering money to the man I love to stay away from me? How exactly is that doing me a favour?” I was losing my mind.

  Obviously realising I wasn’t going to sit back down, she stood up. In heels, she was taller than me. “Have a think about it, Juliette. You’re a smart girl.” She tapped the side of her head. “I wouldn’t be telling you this if he said no.”

  Everything I knew about Leo told me it wasn’t true. “I don’t believe you. Leo loves me.”

  She smiled and nodded then sashayed from the room, leaving me standing there dumbfounded. She returned moments later holding her phone out to me.

  “What is that?”

  “It’s a text from the man who loves you,” she stated sarcastically.

  Grimacing, I took the phone and read the message.

  I’ll stay away from Juliette.

  I stared at the screen until it faded to black. Once again, loving me had a price tag and once again, the price was right. I calmly returned the phone to my smug mother.

  “I hope you get the help you need,” I whispered, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Bye, Mum.”

  When I was outside, I fumbled for my phone and called Sia.

  “You leave for London in two weeks, right?” I asked when she picked up.

  “Yep. Why?” she asked slowly.

  “I’d like to come with you. I need a break.”

  “What? Are you serious? What’s happened, Jules? What about Leo?”

  “Yes or no, Sia.”

  “Yes. Of course. I’d love you to come with me.”

  I let out the breath I’d been holding. “Okay.”

  “Okay.”

  “So, I’ll speak to Heath tomorrow about getting a temp to cover me.”

  Sia squealed and I had to hold my phone away from my ear. I tried to share in her excitement, but at that moment I just felt sad.

  Chapter Forty-One

  Juliette

  Ignoring Leo’s constant calls, my sadness turned to anger and my anger turned to rage. I told the guys at the front desk not to let him up to my apartment. Years of suppressing my real feelings had taken its toll. I’d become an expert at rationalising other’s behaviour and compromising my own. I was a dangerous wreck of swirling hatred, bubbling up from the depths of my stomach. My only saving grace was knowing my debut fight was a matter of days away. If I had any compassion left in me, I might’ve felt sorry for my opponent, walking around somewhere, ignorant to the fact hell was going to be unleashed on her come Saturday.

  “I don’t think you’re ready, Jules,” Zac stated firmly at the end of my Thursday training session.

  “What?” My gloved hands dropped to my side, completely deflated. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.” I felt my eyes glaze over and I swallowed hard, refusing to give in to the threatening tears.

  “See that,” he said, pointing at my eyes. “You’re too emotional. You won’t be able to focus properly.”

  “I’m doing this, Zac,” I whispered as he helped me remove my gloves. “With or without you, I’m doing this.”

  “Well, you have forty-eight hours to get your head in the right place. I know you’ve been through a lot lately, and you have every right to be a bit fucked up right now, but that will cost you in the ring. Eye of the Tiger, remember?”

  “I’ll be fine. Trust me.”

  “Okay, Jules. Rest up and do some of the meditation techniques I showed you.”

  I rolled my eyes. Despite being a seasoned fighter, dolphin music and crashing waves could be the soundtrack to Zac’s life.

  Walking back to my apartment, I felt like the weight of the world was back on my shoulders. I missed Leo. I hated that I missed him so much. It was impossible to just switch off my feelings for him when they were so genuine. I’d really fallen hard for him and he’d discarded me like yesterday’s news. It hurt like a bitch. Just when I had summoned the courage to defy my mother and break up with Richard, their affair had been slammed in my face. Leo’s love had helped me survive that massive blow. The full weight of that betrayal had not really been given a chance to infiltrate my heart, because I’d been enveloped in Leo’s. It had felt like I’d found my soul mate, and being so wrong was a hard pill to swallow.

  My phone started ringing and his face appeared on my screen. It was a photo I’d taken at the farm when he was chopping wood. I’d called out to him and he’d turned around, run his hands through his hair and smiled. I’d captured a candid shot of him looking hotter than he’d ever looked before. My heart ached as I stared at the screen.

  “Hello,” I whispered. I nearly didn’t answer the call, but I’d become too desperate to hear his gravelly voice again. I was too greedy for the way his voice spoke directly to the depths of who I was.

  “Juliette,” Leo said on an exhale. “Thank God.”

  “What do you want, Leo?” I closed my eyes, absorbing the way my body shivered.

  “I want to talk to you. Fuck. I want so many things, Jules. Why have you ignored all my calls?”

  “You don’t want me. You made that clear when you accepted money to stay away from me.” A wave of nausea hit me, and I had to sit down on the footpath, my back against the brick wall of a shopfront.

  “Stop,” he demanded. “It’s complicated. Please don’t give up on us. I just needed time.”

  “There’s nothing complicated here. You said you loved me. I said it back and meant it. You made me feel like you meant it too. Then the next day, you dumped me. Later, I see a text message you sent my mum, accepting her disgusting offer. Pretty black and white, Leo.”

  I could hear him groan, and it sounded like something had broken in the background.

  “Fuuuck. I didn’t take any money. I swear to you.”

  Taken aback, I paused, trying to process what he’d just said. “But I saw the text.”

  “Firstly, I thought it was Dick making the threats to your life.
He’s a money-driven arsehole, so I had to at least consider the threat wasn’t idle.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s what I wanted to talk to you about at the café and then all week. You’ve been ignoring my calls and wouldn’t see me.” He paused, and I tried to reconcile what he was saying. “I was offered money to stay away from you or risk your safety.”

  A few lonely tears fell from my eyes. What an epic clusterfuck. “It was my mother who made the offer, not Dick.”

  “I get that now. I just needed time to sort it out and didn’t want you endangered in the meantime. I agreed to stay away from you in return for your assured safety. That was the offer I accepted.”

  I ran my hand through my sweaty hair and closed my eyes. I was a disaster area of colliding emotions and I couldn’t breathe properly. “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions, Leo, but you should’ve told me immediately what was going on instead of shutting down the way you did,” I whispered. “I’m leaving for Europe with Sia in a week. I just need some space from everything that’s happened the last few months. I just need…” I felt the tears threatening and struggled to get any more words out.

  “What do you need, Juliette?” Leo’s voice sounded as broken as mine.

  “I need to forget.” I sobbed the words out, allowing the tears to flow freely down my cheeks.

  “You need to forget about me.” It was a statement rather than a question.

  “I don’t think I could forget about you even if I wanted to, Leo.” I sniffed, wiping my arm across my eyes. “I just need to take a break for a while and just try to forget about my life here. The last few months have been…” I looked to the sky, unable to finish my sentence.

  “How long will you be gone?”

  “Six weeks.”

  I could hear him sigh. “You deserve this. You deserve to spread your wings.” He paused, and I thought for a second he’d hung up. “This is for the best, but please, can we talk in person when you get home? I love you.”

  Hearing those words again from him was both confusing and wonderful.

  “Okay,” I managed to sob out.

  “Take care of yourself, Juliette.”

  His words managed to jolt me from my self-destructive path. I had been a caged bird, held captive by people I loved, was meant to love or who were meant to love me. I was always waiting for the magic moments, but now I had my whole life ahead of me, and the cage door was wide open. My mother wouldn’t be telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. I had no boyfriend belittling me or using me for his own agenda. Even Leo, the man I loved, had broken my fragile heart even if he didn’t mean to.

  Friendship had come to have real meaning, and I was slowly finding out who I really was. I wasn’t going to be anyone’s punching bag, because I was worth more than that.

  I still cried myself to sleep that night, like I’d done every night that week, but it felt more therapeutic than the previous nights. I woke up determined and focused.

  ***

  When I arrived at the Lightning Fight Centre on Saturday evening, I was itching to punch something or someone. I was riddled with nervous energy, and I had no idea if I could channel it properly in the ring. Zac greeted me inside and escorted me to the weigh-in area where I met my opponent, Christina Lee. Her trainer hovered over the scales as my weight was recorded. Zac did the same for Christina to ensure she was a legitimate lightweight. It was all very serious and intimidating, but I kept my shoulders back and my expression neutral.

  “You’ll be in the red corner,” one of the officials stated, as he handed me a red singlet emblazoned with the promoter’s logo before turning to Christina and handing one to her. “You’re blue.”

  “Thanks.” I walked back to my locker, where Zac was studying his clipboard.

  “How are you feeling, Jules?” He looked up when I sat down on the bench next to him.

  “I’m nervous but ready. Just want to get it over and done with, really.” Butterflies weren’t just in my stomach. They had taken over my whole body, and it was hard to sit still. “I’ll be back in a sec.”

  I jumped up and walked to the door that led into the large main room where the crowd was assembling. Poking my head through the door, I gasped. I had already heard the hard rock music from the back room, but once the door was open, it was much louder. The Guns N’ Roses song, Welcome to the Jungle, pulsed out of the speakers. In the middle of the room was the raised boxing ring, surrounded by tables set up for the judges, officials and VIPs. Punters were flooding in through the main entrance to my left, raising the noise level with every passing minute.

  I couldn’t see them, but Juniper and Sia had insisted on coming when Zac had told them about it, and I wondered if they were there yet. It would be good to have a few friendly faces in the audience for my first fight, and I was grateful for their support. Apparently it’s different when you’re in the ring, and nothing can prepare you for how you’ll react.

  Knowing I would be called soon, I made my way back to Zac, who was now standing, and a relieved expression replaced his furrowed brow when he saw me.

  “You’re on in fifteen minutes. Let’s start warming up.”

  I glanced over at Christina who was busy admiring her reflection in a hand mirror, and I felt some of my butterflies disappear. Vanity has no place in the ring.

  “Don’t get too complacent, Jules,” Zac said when he saw what I was looking at. “She may look like a show pony, but she has more experience than you in the ring.

  “I don’t care what experience she’s had,” I stated. “I’m going to smash her.”

  After my warm-up, Zac stood in front of me and held both my upper arms, looking me dead in the eye. “Sweat more in peace. Bleed less in war.”

  I looked at him quizzically, a fine trickle of sweat dripping down the side of my face.

  “That’s an old boxing mantra.” Zac’s soothing voice calmed more of my nerves. “You’ve put in the hard work, Jules, and now it’s your time to fight for glory.”

  “Juliette Salinger. You’re up,” the official announced. Then he moved over to my opponent, Christina Lee, and I watched her nod as she bounced around, warming up. She’d thrown a few glares my way, but they bounced off me like ping-pongs.

  Zac put my red hooded gown over my shoulders and ushered me towards the door. I was glad I’d taken a look earlier so I wasn’t so awestruck by the room, even though it was now full and a lot noisier. We made a beeline for the ring as the MC announced us to the sound of loud applause. I climbed into the ring and moved to my corner. I was glad to have Zac with me for last-minute advice based on what he’d seen of Christina’s warm-up.

  “You’ve got this, Jules,” he stated firmly as he pushed my mouthguard into place. “You’ve got three rounds of three minutes each. Make every second count.”

  I nodded and moved away from him, turning to face my opponent. I cast my gaze quickly around the audience, immediately spotting my friends. It was hard to miss Sia jumping up and down like a yo-yo, calling out in an over excited tone, “That’s my friend up there.” Sitting down next to her was Juniper, Jason and Aspen. Wow. I had a lot of support. I scanned the rest of the audience, unable to shake the strange feeling making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I could feel Leo’s presence, even though I couldn’t see him. It was probably just nervous tension.

  I bounced on the spot, my head protector firmly in place and my hands securely covered in black Everlast gloves held up in front of me. My mouthguard was uncomfortable, and I jostled it around in my mouth, trying to get used to its presence.

  It was time to focus. It was time to be in the moment and find my magic.

  Unlike martial arts, boxing does appear simple, with just the punches, but there’s far more to it than that. Unlike kickboxing, where you can kick opponents from a distance and keep them at bay to slow the fight down and get a breather, and Muay Thai, where you can gain a breather by locking your opponent in a grapple, boxing affords you no bre
ak. You can’t hold, so you can only keep the opponent at arm’s length. Effectively, they can always punch you. This will mean the work rate is exceptionally high, as you need to keep exchanging blows to keep ahead on the score cards.

  I knew my punches were far from perfect. Zac had done his best to train me, but I had an inner strength and a steely resolve to harness adrenaline rather than be crippled by it. I’d been tapping into it for years, and I was banking on that being my ultimate weapon.

  I stared in the eyes of my opponent and, in that moment, I could see all her demons. My eyes were speaking to her and I knew she understood. “I’m going to win. I’m going to own this fight and I’m going to own you.” Her eyes faltered and I thought I had her.

  I thought wrong.

  The three minutes between the buzzer announcing the start and finish were a blur. I honestly wouldn’t have been able to describe a single thing that happened.

  When I stumbled back to my corner, Zac was waiting for me. He took out my mouthguard, wiped my face with a towel and gave me a mouthful of water, holding out a bucket for me to spit in. “You need to slow down, Juliette. You rushed all your punches and you’re not being effective. You’re just trying to smash her without thinking.”

  I nodded my head, barely able to form a single cohesive thought. What if I can’t channel my adrenaline? What if I fail? What if she really hurts me? A flurry of negative thoughts entered my psyche, and I felt my confidence seeping out of my sweaty pores. When I’d seen all of Christina’s demons, I guess she’d seen mine too.

  The second round wasn’t much better. If anything, it was worse.

  “You totally gassed out on nervous energy, Jules,” Zac chided, looking me straight in the eyes. “Fortunately, Christina did too, so I reckon you’re probably about even on points. Tell me what Christina’s strongest punch is.”

  I tried to replay some of the last two rounds in my head. “She has a strong left hook.”

  “Exactly. Be ready for it and move to your left.”

  This night was not going to plan. I was supposed to come in and claim victory for myself, annihilating the opposition. Nothing was further from the truth.