Turning Grace

by J. Q. Davis

  It literally felt like he took five seconds to shower and get dressed before he came out of the gym. He was now wearing a hoodie, tight fitting jeans, and…well what do you know, Chucks. This made me smile. His hair was still messy, which made me even happier. He had great hair too.

  “Where are you going, Hoss?”

  “Just taking a walk. Hey, rematch tomorrow night?”

  “Yeah, if Sonny let’s you out,” Kasey stated

  “Dude, you know she ain’t lettin’ him go nowhere,” Dexter chimed in.

  “I’ll be here at eight,” Tristen said as he continued to stroll over to the fence.

  “We’ll see,” Kasey didn’t seem at all convinced.

  Was he not allowed to play with his friends? I didn’t get it.

  He reached me at the fence and we both made our way toward the opening so he could get out. Once we were on the sidewalk together, we stood face to face, hands in our pockets. He then pulled his hood over his head. I smiled…and so did he.

  “So, where are we walking to?”

  “Well, I was thinking about going to the lake. Is that okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah, that’s cool with me.”

  We stood for another moment before we both turned to begin our walk. There was silence for the first two minutes, and I wasn’t sure if I should start a conversation.

  “So, how was your day today?”

  Good, he broke the ice. I instantly thought of poor kitty and the sound of its neck bones shattering in my hands.

  “Um…it was okay.”

  He sensed my hesitation. “Wanna talk about it?”

  “Not really,” I said, hoping that he would just drop it. I knew I would have to lie to him, but for some reason I found it may be extremely hard to do so. Hopefully he would sense that I really didn’t want to talk about it, and let it go.

  “Well if you do, you can tell me. I’m all ears.”

  “Thanks.” I briefly considered his invitation, but decided that it would be insane. I decided to just change the subject before I mouthed off anything. “Do you guys play at night often?”

  “Yeah. It’s not practice or anything. I’m actually not that big into basketball, but it’s a good workout and a chance to hang out with the boys.”

  “And be jocks?”

  “Exactly. You know, we trade jock straps sometimes,” he said without breaking a beat. For a second I thought he was serious. I looked over at him in horror, but once I noticed he was visibly trying hard to keep a straight face, I couldn’t hold my laughter in.

  The walk over to the lake was short. There was a levee, otherwise known as a manmade water barrier, that was blocking our view of the water. We took long strides over and short steps coming down the other side to reach it. We walked over to the steps of the lake’s edge and took our seats. There was only one street lamp behind us, and it wasn’t on. The moon was the only light reflecting off the vast lake. The water was calm, softly slapping the last visible step. I inhaled the smell of the brackish water.

  I took a quick look around to see if there were any other people trying to escape their own lives. There was usually a late night fisherman here and there trying to catch some catfish. But tonight, there seemed to be no one in our view. Perfect. Just Tristen and me.

  Chapter 9

  The Coast

  “Wow, it’s beautiful out,” he said while looking up at the sky. I glanced up with him and noticed the millions of stars scattered in the night sky. The moon was bright and hung over our heads. It was beautiful out. “Do you come out here often?”

  “Is that a line?” I asked, allowing my wit to take over. He smiled showing his perfect, white teeth.

  “I can do better than that.”

  My heart fluttered. I chose to answer his question.

  “Sometimes I come out here. I like the sound of the water. It doesn’t crash like waves at a beach. It’s soft. It’s soothing to me,” I said, peering out into it.

  “What do you think about when you’re here?”

  “Um…nothing really,” I said, trying to remember what I actually did think about. Tonight, I would have been trying to figure out the method to my madness, but other nights I had just seemed to sit and stare out into the water, not thinking of much.

  “Well that can’t be true. You have to think about something,” he said. He turned to face me. “Grace, tell me your innermost thoughts.”

  I wasn’t sure if he was trying to be funny or serious this time. It was dark, but I could see his face from the light of the moon. I just couldn’t read it. “Why would you wanna know that?”

  “Because…I wanna know you.” He smiled gently at me. I got goose bumps down my back.

  “Only if you tell me yours.” I decided to play along.

  “Touché. Let’s see.” He looked away for a moment as if he were concentrating really hard. “Okay. I sometimes wonder why I am here.”

  I brought my eyebrows together in confusion. “What do you mean?”

  He turned back to me to explain. “Well, sometimes I wonder why I am the way I am, and why I am here…living. Why was I created? What am I supposed to do with my life?”

  Wow, that was deep.

  “Wow, that’s deep.” It was the only thing I could say. Although, his thoughts did begin to creep into mine. Maybe he was on to something. “So, you mean, what is your destiny?”

  “Something like that. I think everyone is here for some reason. Whether it be something big or small. Sometimes, people are here to make a difference in the whole world, while other times a person is here to make a difference in one person’s life.”

  He looked out into the lake.

  “Doesn’t it seem like every person you have ever known has had someone make an impact in their lives? It could have been their grandma, their best friend, their teacher. It seems like we are destined to change another person’s life in one way or another. Sometimes it’s for the worse, but most times it’s for good.”

  “So, who has impacted your life?” I wouldn’t think it was Sonny, but I was desperately hoping he wouldn’t say her.

  “My grandfather.”

  There was a noticeable pain in his eyes when he said this. My heart hurt for him as I thought about why that was. Was he close to him? Did he pass away? I chose not to ask anything about it.

  “What about you?”

  It was my turn to stare deeply into the water. As I thought about it, I couldn’t come up with anyone in particular. My dad left when I was too young. I was really pissed with my mom at the moment, but from remembering my life with her, I couldn’t quite place an occasion when I felt like she impacted me really. She was my mother, she was supposed to give me advice and be there for me. Phoebe was my best friend, but I didn’t feel she was mature enough to impact me. This question began to make me feel a sense of sadness as I realized there really wasn’t anyone in my life who had impacted me. Good or bad.

  “I guess no one.”

  Tristen put a hand on my knee and my breath caught. “It’s okay. It just hasn’t happened yet.”

  “Well, how do you know?” I asked, now concerned that maybe I didn’t catch it when it did happen.

  He kept his hand on my knee. “You just know. You just know that you will never forget that person. That person will always be in your thoughts, no matter what happens. You will remember a distinct conversation or something that transpired between the two of you that will squeeze your heart when you think about it. You’ll just…know.”

  “Are you wondering who you are going to impact?” I began to put two and two together about his questions on why he was living.

  “Exactly.” He smiled and squeezed my knee. His touch sent chills through my body. He moved it back into his pocket and I wanted to yell at him not to.

  I thought about everything he had just said. When I said I wanted to know his thoughts, I didn’t know it would happen tonight. However, it was a concept that I really never thought about. And it made absolute sense to me. W
ho will leave a lasting memory in my mind? Who will impact me so much, that it could change decisions I make? Who would mold me? Who would influence me? And vice versa? It seemed I needed some kind of good impact right now in my life.

  “You’re thinking about it now, aren’t you?” he asked.

  I smiled and twisted toward him. “Actually, yes. I think you might have impacted me just now.”

  He smiled widely. “Maybe.”

  “I have a question for you, Tristen.” I decided to be brave. What did I have to lose anyway? I ate a cat tonight. And if I wanted to keep this war going strong with Sonny, I had to start stepping up the game.

  He turned his whole body toward me, completely intrigued. “Shoot.”

  “What’s up with what your friends were saying tonight? About Sonny not letting you go play?” Okay, I downplayed it a bit. My intension was to ask him why he was even dating Sonny. If I asked him that, there was a risk of insulting him or pissing him off.

  His smile dropped and he instantly looked irritated. Great, I pissed him off. “Sorry…I didn’t mean to upset you,” I apologized as I looked down in shame.

  “No, you didn’t make me upset.” He seemed apologetic as well. “It’s just...” He sighed. “I don’t know what to do with her.”

  Oh, this was good. I didn’t say a word.

  “I mean, I care about her. We’ve been dating for so long, you know?”

  I nodded.

  “When I first moved here from Oregon, my parents were too busy working and I didn’t know anyone. She kind of took me under her wing. It was great for the first year. Her friends were welcoming. She showed me around. But then she just became this demanding, self-centered, its-all-about-me chick. At that point, I just didn’t know how to let go. I guess I was just…comfortable. You know what I mean?”

  He scanned my eyes for an answer. Honestly, I didn’t have one. I had never been in his situation.

  However, it made me think of his aggressiveness that afternoon. “Is that why you were mean to her today?” I asked.

  “You thought I was mean to her?” His voice had a surprised tone.

  “Well, I guess a little. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I know she can be—”

  “A bitch,” he finished. I nodded. He took a deep breath as if he knew exactly what I was talking about. “Sometimes she just upsets me. I would never treat a girl badly or with malice in my heart, but man she can push my buttons sometimes.”

  I nodded again. He was venting and needed someone to understand, even if they really didn’t.

  He gazed out into the water again before saying anything. I studied his profile in the moonlight. This guy was truly a perfect specimen. His strong jaw line aligned perfectly with his chin. His tan skin seemed so smooth and I had to fight the urge to caress his cheek. His messy hair moved slowly with the breeze around his hoodie. I watched his subtle Adam’s apple move up and down with every swallow.

  He turned to look at me and I quickly turned toward the lake.

  “So, what about you?” he asked.

  “What about me?”

  “Are you…seeing anyone?”

  A really? chuckle left my throat. “No.”

  “No? That’s surprising!”

  I whipped my head around. “Surprising? Why? Should I be?”

  His face softened as he brought a hand to mine to swipe away a few loose pieces of hair that managed their way out of my messy bun. My pulse quickened. He really needed to stop doing that. Or not.

  “This hair…let me see it.”

  “What?”

  “Come on! Take your hair down. Beautiful hair like that shouldn’t be hidden away.”

  He was serious.

  I looked at him a moment and thought about how much I hated being in the spotlight. Did he like my hair that much?

  But…I did what I was told.

  I pulled my hoodie back. With a quick slip of my hair tie, my curls came crashing down. His face lit up and his smile was devilish. I, on the other hand, wish I had a shell to crawl into. My shyness rushed through me.

  He gently grabbed a hand full of my hair and squeezed. It was still damp from the attempt at a bath earlier. Thankfully, Mom was able to wash the blood off my body, and none of it got in my hair.

  “Your hair is amazing. Have I told you that before?”

  “As a matter of fact, you have.”

  His hand found my cheek and he did exactly what I was wanting to do to him. My goose bumps came back with full force and I unconsciously leaned into him. It felt so right to lean into him. My forehead rested on his cheek as his hand cradled the side of my face. All I had to do was look up and my lips would be inches from his. A hint of his clean cologne made its way up my nostrils. I could do this. I could do—

  I quickly twisted my body away so that I wouldn’t get any vomit on him.

  “Grace, are you okay?”

  I felt his hand on my back. Oh my God! What the hell did I just do!

  I couldn’t stop, I couldn’t catch my breath. I briefly thanked the night for the darkness so that he couldn’t see my spew. I was sure it would be crimson red and full of cat chunks.

  He continued to rub my back till I was done. It was so embarrassing, but I couldn’t help it.

  I wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve before I turned back toward him.

  “C’mon. Let’s get you home,” he said with worry as we stood up and he wrapped his arm around my waist.

  I didn’t say anything.

  The walk home was silent. He insisted that he drive me home since his car was repaired and parked at school, but I refused. The cool breeze on my face was refreshing. Plus, spending as much time with him as I could was my ultimate goal.

  We reached my house and stopped just before my porch.

  “I’m really sorry you were sick tonight.”

  “It’s okay. I think I just ate something bad today. Thanks for keeping me company. It really helped me take my mind off things.” And that was the honest truth.

  “Anytime.” He smiled.

  I smiled too. My stomach flipped. Oh God. It wasn’t butterflies.

  “Well, I really need to get going. Thanks again, Tristen for…”

  He grabbed my hand. “No, Grace…I mean it. Anytime. Okay?”

  He pulled me closer to him. His eyes never left mine.

  This was it. Vomit breath and all. I was going to kiss Tristen Miles. We moved closer to one another, almost in slow motion. The world stopped around us once again, and my lips automatically formed the kissing position. He was calm, sexy, and oozing smolder.

  My heart throbbed like a jackhammer and all I could think was how amazing this was going to be.

  “Gracie!”

  I shut my eyes and exhaled violently. Mom.

  “Grace, I have been worried sick honey. It’s getting cold, please come in.”

  Tristen’s eyes remained on mine.

  “Grace?”

  He began to back away slowly, holding on to my hand as long as he could reach it. When he finally let go, he smiled his famous smile and headed back to school.

  My feet stayed grounded for another minute before I could move them. When I finally did, I saw Mom standing in the doorway with her arms crossed. I rolled my eyes. Her timing was perfection.

  I headed up to the front door, eyes focused on everything but her. She knew I was pissed. I was pissed. There was a little twinge of guilt for what I said to her before I stormed out of the house, but I was still pissed.

  Before I could step onto the first step of our staircase, I couldn’t help but peek over into the kitchen. Of course, the dining room table was covered in dishes filled with food. Okay, I was pissed, but not pissed enough to continue my pissy walk to my room. I headed into the kitchen, ready to devour every morsel. Mom followed, stopping in the doorway to watch for a moment. I didn’t say a word. I was angry, but so, so hungry.

  ~ ~ ~ ~

  The next day was bleak. I stayed home all day, only leaving my room ev
ery other hour to have a snack…or a meal. I didn’t bother to get on Facebook. I knew all I would do was check on Tristen’s profile. Quite honestly, I didn’t have the urge to. The fact was that he liked me. And that was all I needed to know.

  Mom stayed away from me all day. The only times we spoke were when she would let me know food was ready, and I would say thank you. Frankly, I didn’t have the desire to speak to her either. Things were heated, and I would have preferred to cool down before I said another stupid thing to her. Hurting her feelings was not my intention, and I knew I did just that last night.

  I sat in my room for most of the day, studying up for Mrs. Turner’s makeup test and reading. I tried to keep my mind off the cat fiasco the best I could, which wasn’t that hard when I was eating.

  As a matter of fact, the rest of the week seemed to drag on. I met Phoebe in the morning for school and came back home when school was out. We convened at each other’s houses throughout the week to work on our college applications, and she continued to give me status reports on every detail of her and Eric’s relationship. She was falling hard and I was happy for her. I decided to give her very little details about my and Tristen’s encounter by the lake, but only because I was afraid of slipping out the gory details of poor little Fluffy’s short-lived life.

  Tristen and I remained professional at school. We said hi to one another, but secretly gave each other flirty eyes when we did. He knew just as well as I did that if Sonny found out about our walk to the lake, she would probably spit fire and burn down the school. I noticed whenever I saw the two of them together, he was a bit guarded. He didn’t hold her hand as much, and honestly I didn’t see them walking as a pair as often. Although, I did wonder what he was planning to do. He was sweet. He didn’t want to hurt her. I was sure he was waiting for the right time to tell her his true feelings.