The Merchant's Yield

by Lorri Dudley

  “Don’t get up. I didn’t mean to disturb you. I couldn’t sleep.” She eyed the large slice of bread and the hunk of cheese on the plate in front of Adana. “Did you not get enough at dinner?”

  Adana’s eyes lowered. “I guess I couldn’t have kept it a secret any longer.” She twisted her apron. “I’m going ta have Mr. Tallant’s babe.”

  Lottie’s breath hitched, but she forced her expression to remain neutral as she sat.

  “It’s one of da reason’s I became so angry wit you.” She lifted her gaze. “But I should have been thankin’ you. He has decided ta mek an honest woman of me. Wit Mr. Winthrop’s approval, we shall be married by da end of next week.”

  “How splendid.” Lottie leaned forward over the table. “I’m truly happy for you.”

  “It’s because of wat you said. He got right wit God.” She broke off a piece of bread and offered it to Lottie.

  “No, thank you. You’re the one eating for two.”

  Adana smiled, and they discussed the wedding and the baby arrangements. Mr. Tallant, in his free time, was building a crib, and Lu was sewing some tiny clothes. Lottie offered her help also.

  “You should be sewin’ clothes for yer own child.”

  It was Lottie’s turn to lower her gaze.

  Adana’s hand squeezed hers. “Deh isn’t much dat stays a secret. I know Mr. Winthrop hasn’t been visiting yer room.”

  Anger heated Lottie’s neck. It wasn’t her place to speak so plainly.

  “I only say dis because you did me a favor when you spoke tough to me.”

  Lottie’s anger evaporated. “He fears the curse more than he loves me.”

  “He fears da curse because he loves you.”

  “I can’t live in fear. Living in fear isn’t living.”

  “Den why are you down here?”

  Lottie blinked at her.

  “Show him a taste of what real lovin’ is.”

  Her prayer before the Carlton’s ball echoed in her mind. Your word says a man shall leave his father and his mother, and cleave unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. Let it be so with our marriage. It was still the prayer of her heart, but could she make herself vulnerable and face rejection again? She rubbed her face. Shouldn’t Nathan come to her? God, I’m not brave enough.

  I did not give you a spirit of fear.

  Lottie straightened.

  Love perseveres.

  Adana pointed to the door. “Go, Dage. God is wit you.”

  Lottie rose. She could do this. “You’re right.” She strode to the door but pivoted back around. “Why did you call me Dage?”

  Adana smiled, her white teeth illuminated by the candlelight. “It means takes a firm stand.” She nodded towards the door. “Go, for you are courageous and yer faith is strong. Yer God will bless you for yer boldness.”

  Lottie patted the door frame. “God loves you too, you know.”

  “I’m beginin’ ta understand.”

  Tears filled Lottie’s eyes. “You are a wise woman. Thank you, my friend.”

  Adana rolled her lips, and she looked away, but not before Lottie caught the shimmer of tears in the woman’s eyes.

  Lottie strode into the foyer and placed a steady hand on the stairway railing. Ready or not, Nathan, here comes Dage.

  Nathan woke and fought to gain his bearings. The floor didn’t sway and the moon’s rays outlined a pair of frilly curtains above the window. Katherine’s room. He thought sleeping here would further solidify his resolve to stay away from Lottie, but the persistent ache that penetrated deep in his heart hadn’t lifted. It didn’t help that every time he drifted off to sleep, he dreamed of Lottie. Especially tonight. He rolled onto his back and stretched. His hand bumped something… something warm… something human.

  Nathan jerked upright. “Who’s there?”

  “It’s me.” The female voice wavered. “Your wife.”

  Knowing who it was didn’t lessen his panic. Why would she speak as if he wouldn’t recognize her voice, as if he didn’t know her—as if she hadn’t permeated his thoughts every minute of every day since the moment she asked him to dance. Didn’t she understand the danger? “Why are you here?”

  Her hand touched his chest. His muscles tensed, and he retracted. Her fingers slid up and cupped his cheek.

  He grabbed her hand. “What are you doing?”

  “I’m being a wife.”

  Her tone radiated confidence, but her hand trembled. The satin strands of her hair brushed over his skin and wafted the scent of lilac under his nose. Her soft lips pressed against his.

  He tried to pull back, but her hands slid around his shoulders and down his back. Her mouth coaxed his, and the heat of her body lured him into an intoxicating trance. Her soft curves met his bare chest, and he grew fully aware that the only thing separating them was her night shift.

  A warning surfaced in the fog. He broke their kiss. “Don’t.” His voice sounded harsh to his own ears.

  “I am your wife.” She matched his tone. “It is not right for you to turn me away.”

  “You don’t understand.”

  “Oh, but I do.”

  “The curse will kill you.”

  “The curse holds no power over me. It can never take my hope.” She pressed a kiss on his shoulder. “I may be hard pressed from every side, but I cannot be crushed.”

  Nathan sucked in a breath.

  She brushed a kiss on his temple. “I may be perplexed, but I will not despair.”

  His fingers curled into fists as he fought to resist his desire.

  She kissed the hollow of his neck between his collar bones. “I may be persecuted, but I will not be abandoned.”

  She was his wife. She wanted him, and he wanted her.

  She kissed the corner of his mouth. “I know I can be struck down, but I will not be destroyed.”

  God help me. I am a weak man. He loved her more than life itself. “Keeping you alive is my one chance to redeem myself. I can’t add to my list of sins.”

  She backed off, and Nathan inhaled a shattered breath. Thank you, Lord.

  Stillness fell over the room except the sound of the distant waves.

  Lottie didn’t leave. “Why do you believe you’re unforgivable?”

  “I told you.” He swallowed. “I allowed a woman to be beaten so horrifically she bled out and died before my eyes when I could have stopped it.”

  “You tried.”

  “I didn’t try hard enough.” His voice slashed the night air.

  Silence, once again, stretched between them.

  “Did you know Moses beat an Egyptian to death?” Her soft voice cut through the silence. “He ran and hid in the desert afterward, but God forgave him. He sought Moses out and made him one of the great forefathers of our faith.”

  His mother had shared a Bible story of a baby found in a river. Moses was raised by an Egyptian princess, and he later freed the Israelites from slavery through many signs and miracles. But Nathan had never heard the story Lottie spoke of.

  “Did you know King David had one of his mighty men killed in order to cover David’s sin of adultery? Yet, God still called David His beloved.”

  He knew the story of Bathsheba, but he’d never correlated it with himself.

  “One of the psalms David wrote says God knows all of our thoughts. He’s familiar with all of our ways, and there is nowhere we can go where He isn’t present. Even the darkness cannot hide us from His love.”

  She cupped his face and peered deep into his soul. “God forgave you before you were even born. Your sins are covered by Jesus’s blood, and God chooses to remember them no longer. You must do the same. You must decide whether you want to keep managing your guilt and pain at the sacrifice of our marriage—of me.” Her voice cracked. “Or you can relinquish it to God.”

  His body quaked as if stretching to reach something just out of his grasp. “I don’t know how.”

  “Pray with me.” She folded his shaking hands between hers. �
�Lord, forgive me of my sins. Come into my heart and take control of my life. I relinquish it all to you. Show me your unconditional love.”

  He sucked in a deep breath and whispered, “Yes, Lord.”

  “Nathan.”

  He opened his eyes.

  “We are stronger together.” Love shown in her eyes as she trailed her fingertips along his jawline. She slowly pushed off the bed as if to leave.

  God, I’m entrusting Lottie—myself—our marriage—into your care. He gripped her hand.

  In the still of the darkness, God answered.

  The same peace he’d experienced the moment he’d agreed to marry Lottie filled him now, settling his mind and spirit, scattering his doubts. He pulled her to him and devoured her mouth, making her flesh of his flesh and bone of his bone. She clung to him as he laid her among the scattered blankets and pillows and loved her the way a wife should be loved.

  In the morning, Nathan awoke feeling more alive than he had in a long time. Maybe ever. He understood now why the rooster crowed and why the lion roared. The first rays of sun crept in through the window, illuminating Lottie’s hair in a reddish-blond halo. He stroked the silky strands between his fingers. The fans of her long eyelashes rested against her rosy cheeks.

  She was his. He could never have guessed how well they would fit each other, or imagined the love he’d feel for her, or known how much he needed her. She was a blessing.

  He was lucky…

  No. He was cursed.

  He squeezed his eyes shut to block out the invasion of his thoughts.

  Now, so was she.

  “What’s the matter?” Lottie’s blue eyes were open, and they searched his. She propped her head up on her elbow. The blanket draped around her and made her look like a Greek goddess.

  “I didn’t mean to wake you.” He shifted onto his back and stared at the ceiling. He could feel her patiently waiting for an answer. “It’s always when life feels too good to be true that the doubts cry out even louder.”

  She slid her hand over his and laced their fingers. “There will be troubles. No one is denying that, but God will turn them around for our good. I count it a blessing that I was sick as a child, because it made me appreciate my health. I count it a blessing to have had a domineering mother because she taught me how to be strong and instilled in me an appreciation for healthy relationships. I’m blessed to have come to this beautiful island because it strengthened my faith and taught me who I truly am. I’m blessed by you.” She leaned over him, and smiled. Waves of red hair cascaded over him. “You have shown my heart what it is to love.”

  She was right, but he couldn’t release the knot of tension in his chest.

  “Life is only a breath, a fading morning mist. You can waste it living in fear.” She folded his hands in both of hers. “Or we can face it together. But you must make that choice. I can’t make it for you.”

  Her face shone with strength. Her blue eyes glistened with steadfast love. He leaned into her faith, absorbing it as his own as he encased her in his arms.

  “I choose blessing.”

  Chapter 30

  On your morning off, meet me by the fishermen’s rocks. I shall not sleep until I look upon your bonny face.

  ~ From Charlie, sent in secret to Franny

  Later the following morning, Lottie had a worker drive she and Franny to the Cockleshell. She waved the driver off after they disembarked. “We’ll be several hours, so enjoy your morning and check back after the noon meal.”

  Franny had the morning off, so they parted ways in front of the inn. “Give Charlie my regards,” Lottie said before the giddy girl crossed the street to the dockside. “And tell him he’d better conduct himself as a gentleman, or I’ll have him placed back on deck-swabbing duty.”

  A blush tinged Franny’s cheeks, but she muttered, “Yes, mum.”

  Adana had given her a list of items she needed from town, so Lottie used it as an excuse to call upon Julia and return the pocket Bible.

  She missed her friend. A visit was long overdue. She bit her lip to keep from smiling as she mounted the steps to the entrance. She couldn’t wait to tell Julia the wonderful news about her and Nathan.

  The wind chime shells jingled as she opened the front door and stepped into the dim foyer. The smell of spirits hung in the air, and a faint muttering came from the few men who nursed their aching heads after a night of drinking.

  A mulatto woman greeted her.

  “Is Mrs. Fielding in?” Lottie asked.

  “She’s in the back hall dining room,” the woman said. “You may follow me.”

  The sea shells chimed again. Another customer opened the front door, and the mulatto woman hesitated, in case the person needed assistance.

  “I know the way. I’ll see myself there.” Lottie stepped past the woman and avoided walking through the tavern. The familiar scent of mango chicken and rice caused her stomach to growl. Maybe she could join Julia for an early dinner.

  The door to the dining room stood closed, which was odd. It usually remained open. She lifted her hand to knock, but hesitated when she heard a voice within.

  “Winthrop won’t know we’re smuggling black ivory.”

  Captain Fielding’s voice stilled her hand.

  “If this run goes to plan,” he said, “we’ll have proven ourselves, and then they’ll let us transport slaves, and we’ll be in on the dealings where the real profits lie.”

  “How are you going to smuggle slaves under Winthrop’s nose?” The tenor voice was too high to have been Paul’s.

  Lottie’s breath stilled. Captain Fielding was a smuggler? How could he betray Nathan like that? Reminders of her fever-induced nightmare surfaced. Had it not been a dream? Was Julia part of this? Her feet itched to run back to Nathan, but the need to know the full truth kept her legs planted.

  “The same as how we got rid of Skitter and Knuckles.”

  Lottie jolted. The men who’d been killed?

  “The Katherine holds steady shippin’ sugar as our pretense.” Fielding cleared his throat. “We’ll start movin’ black ivory with the Amory. Leave the Katherine until Winthrop’s loyalists meet with one disaster or another.”

  Lottie’s blood stopped flowing. Did he mean Cobble, Baby, Salt, and Cook? Did he intend to kill them? Please, Lord, no.

  She turned to leave, but two men emerged from the taproom. Their backs were to her as they said their farewells, but she recognized the voices of Mr. McCurdy and Mr. Reid from the incident in the study. She wouldn’t be able to get past them without them causing a ruckus. She’d have to wait until they left.

  But instead of leaving, they struck up another conversation and blocked her path to the front entrance. Perspiration broke out on her palms.

  “Every time something bad happens, we blame it on the curse,” Fielding said. “I played it up real good to the point he won’t dare set foot on deck for fear of the curse sinkin’ his ship.”

  “His ships mean everything to him,” the other man said.

  “That they do, and he can’t afford to lose them. They’re his only chance of saving his father’s legacy. He won’t come aboard.”

  “Lottie’s a God-fearing woman. She stopped the practice of black magic at Calico Manor. She won’t be hearing any talk of curses.”

  Lottie recognized Julia’s voice. She quickly cupped her hand over her mouth to muffle her gasp. Julia was in on the deception. They were stealing from Nathan and planned to kill his crew. Her heart stung as if Julia had run her through with her rapier. How many lunches had they talked and laughed with each other? Had those been part of the deception?

  “You were supposed to keep a close eye on her to keep things like that from happening,” The captain sneered.

  There was no response.

  “What if Winthrop rallies because of her?” The tenor asked. “How long can you keep up the charade with her around?”

  Captain Fielding’s voice dropped to a low murmur, and Lottie pressed her ear agai
nst the door. “She should have died of fever. It would have been better for all of us, especially her.”

  A shiver ran through her body.

  Julia spoke. “Maybe we should leave them be. We have enough to build a fine house in Florida. Let’s cut and run.”

  She might be willing to steal their last shilling, but at least Julia didn’t want her dead. Lottie pulled back from the door. Could she slip past McCurdy and Reid? She needed to get to Nathan. He must know the truth. He wasn’t cursed. He was being deceived, and their friends were in grave danger.

  Fielding growled in a deadly tone through the closed door. “I will have justice. Henry Winthrop stole my father’s inheritance, and I won’t stop until I’ve taken every penny away from the Winthrop family.”

  “Winthrop died, along with his wife and two of his children,” Julia said. “Don’t you think they’ve suffered enough?”

  “Not yet.” The captain’s voice rose. “I should have been the sugar baron’s son, reaping a harvest and using the proceeds to buy ships, not toiling in the service of the East India Company like a third child of a poor wretch.”

  “Lower your voice before someone overhears,” the tenor said. “Listen, I’m in, but I want a third, no less, and I’ll leave the problem of the wife to you.”

  There was a long pause.

  “Agreed.” The captain said. “Paul, see to Lady Winthrop.”

  Paul must have been standing nearby for his baritone voice answered. “Consider it done.”

  Leave. Run!

  She stepped back from the door and collided with a servant carrying a tray of empty glasses. They crashed to the floor, sending glass and the smell of spirits everywhere. The two men at the end of the hall swiveled their heads in her direction.

  The door swung open, and Captain Fielding’s eyes leveled on her.

  She grabbed her skirts and sprinted through the glass remnants. She only made it five steps before a hand clamped on her arm. She screamed, but the captain muffled it by pressing her face into his chest.

  “How delightful to see you, my dear.”

  A sharp point jabbed into her side. It pierced the soft cotton of her gown, went through her stays, and poked her flesh. She winced and shifted away, but he held her tight.