Daughters of Artemis

by Della Buckland

  "He has gone to see if the new governess has survived the last three hours with Briana and Niallan." He smiled at her, motioning for her to sit in the chair across from the one he took. "Please," he added when she hesitated.

  It was the 'please'. He hadn't ordered her to sit, but asked. Sasha sat, her head pounding as her anger began to drain from her. Aneira had noted she'd been angrier than usual, which had impacted their relationship in ways Sasha hadn't anticipated. All the challenges from the males always left her too furious and sore to do much of anything with Aneria, and she could feel her mate drifting off, lonely. It was only then that she noticed Gauwyn was talking.

  "—is serious. If you can't bring the pack under control, he will find a male to take your place, and then everything will have been for naught." Gauwyn folded his hands demurely in his lap, making himself appear so approachable, as if she could trust him with her darkest secrets. "I know what it is like to be the center of change. When Terfel chose me, the Council had been adamant: he could bed me, but he could not marry me. He only had the one son, and I was male. How could they possibly allow our marriage if there was no chance for future children?"

  "I remember," Sasha said, nodding. "Terfel was a beast, stalking the halls and barking at everyone as the Council deliberated your situation."

  Gauwyn laughed softly. "And he raged in private. He wanted me, and I wanted him, but the needs of the kingdom were paramount. They always were, and they always will be. You understand that, don't you?"

  Sasha looked away. "I don't want to lose my pack. I've worked so hard to have it."

  "You're still working hard, and I believe we couldn't have chosen better."

  Gauwyn was quiet for a minute, watching her. It was almost unnerving. She could swear he was able to see right to the heart of her. Could he see how afraid she was? How determined? How hard she'd been fighting all her life? How, in just three months, she'd gone from simply an alpha female to Alpha of her own pack? That she'd lost some of her friends, that she was losing Aneira? His lips curved into a sympathetic smile, and Sasha thought, yes, yes, he could see it all because he'd felt it all himself, too, at one point.

  "Life is a series of battles and compromises," Gauwyn finally said. "It's time to compromise, Sasha."

  "Compromise? What am I supposed to compromise? That pack wants a male to lead them, not a female, and all because Terfel's ancestors thought we were unable to lead. There's nothing I can do but beat them back, break every damn bone until they see that I am Alpha."

  Gauwyn wet his lips. "Violence begets violence. It's one thing I think the House of Clouds has right. You can beat the men down every time, but they will only hate you more for it."

  Sasha threw her hands up in defeat. "What am I to do, then? If I don't fight, they will take over the pack. If I do fight, Terfel calls it chaos and will take the pack from me. I can't win, Gauwyn!"

  "Breed."

  That one word was like a splash of cold water. "Bree—what?"

  "You're Alpha, but you are also apart from the pack," Gauwyn said, his voice so reasonable as he suggested she be bitch to some male. "Most packs are headed by an alpha male and his mate, and together they produce offspring for the pack. They help strengthen the pack with children." He flushed a little. "It's what Terfel had to explain to me so many years ago when the Council came back to us, agreeing to the marriage if we agreed to Terfel breeding outside the marriage bed."

  Sasha just stared at him. Gauwyn couldn't be serious. What Terfel and Gauwyn had done two hundred years ago had nothing to do with her! She shook her head. "Aneira would never allow it."

  "Sometimes," Gauwyn murmured, "we have to give up something precious to us for the greater good of everyone else."

  "I don't have to give up Aneira! She's my mate! She's been my mate for a hundred years!"

  Gauwyn leaned forward, his eyes serious, his face grave. "I am not asking you to give up your mate, Sasha. I am merely suggesting that a child conceived with one of the alpha males of your pack would go a long, long way to bridging the gap between the males and females. I am saying, a compromise must be reached, or nothing will change."

  "Aneira—"

  "Aneira will have to come to terms with what it means to be mated to Alpha. Her position is one of honor and love, and she should want what is best for the pack as much as you do." Gauwyn stood and started for the door. He paused beside her, laid his hand on her shoulder. "It isn't easy to be Alpha. It isn't easy to be Alpha-Mate. Sacrifice is part of ruling... and I have never regretted the birth of the children I share with Terfel."

  Sasha sat in the little waiting room for a long time after Gauwyn had left, his words turning over in her head. Aneira would refuse. She could turn her back on the pack and leave the kingdom, take Aneira with her and forget the politics and power and struggles. That would make Aneira happy.

  But it wouldn't make her happy.

  Damn Gauwyn. Damn Terfel. Damn the pack, and damn herself for that matter.

  Sasha stood up and left behind the dim, stuffy room, but the conversation clung to her, lingered, just as she was certain Gauwyn had meant for it to.

  "You've been quiet," Aneira whispered in the darkness of their room. "You barely ate."

  Sasha's fingers stroked up and down Aneira's bare shoulder, the lingering warmth of their lovemaking leaving her sleepy and comfortable. "I have a lot on my mind."

  Aneira nodded against her shoulder, pressed her naked body closer. "Did the audience with the king not go well?"

  "It..." Sasha sighed, closing her eyes. "Terfel threatened to replace me as Alpha with a male if I can't bring the pack around. He says the chaos could spread."

  "It's been hard." Aneira licked delicately at her throat. "They challenge you at every turn. What is it King Terfel wants you to do?"

  Sasha moaned, turning to kiss Aneira. She didn't want to talk about it, but if she put it off, she didn't know if she would bring it up again. "He didn't have any suggestions, but... Gauwyn did."

  Aneira smiled against her lips. "Regent Gauwyn usually does. What did he suggest?"

  It was now or never. Sasha rolled onto her side, her hand continuing to pet along Aneira's thigh and hip. "He thinks it might raise pack moral and make us more cohesive if I... choose one of the alpha males and breed." There, it was out. For better or worse, the words had made it past her lips. "I... think he might be right."

  Aneira became very, very still against Sasha, and all the color drained from her face. After a moment, she blinked, as if trying to comprehend the words Sasha had just uttered. Then, the anger filled her eyes, and she sat up, yanking the sheet with her, covering her nudity. "You think he might be right?"

  "I don't want to do it, but I think it might be a good way to bring it all together," Sasha said, sitting up.

  "You don't have a child to fix a failing pack any more than you have one to fix a failing marriage!" Aneira bellowed, stumbling out of bed. "Did you forget Elves don't breed well? That, what, a third of us die just trying? Did you forget you're mated to me, not some male with a desire to stake his claim on your womb?"

  Sasha frowned and reached for Aneira, but Aneira only jerked away from her. "I'll still be your mate. We... we could raise the child together, like Terfel and Gauwyn do. It could be our child, Aneira, not mine and some male's."

  "We aren't Terfel and Gauwyn." Aneira began to dress. "We aren't King and Regent."

  When the scent of tears hit Sasha, her heart broke. Aneira was crying. Aneira was crying because of her. "Please, Aneira..."

  "No. Not now, Sasha." Aneira pulled on her boots. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I don't want to hear your pleas or reasons or any rationalization. It's insanity. It's cruel."

  Sasha wilted, slumping on her knees in the center of their bed. "It's a way that isn't violent."

  Aneira's wet eyes met hers, and her expression was so dark that Sasha wanted to wince. "I said to stop talking!"

  "I can't." Sasha looked down at her clasped han
ds, her whole spirit aching. "Sacrifices must be made sometimes. I don't want to fight the pack anymore. I don't want to fight you. I want to be Alpha. I want to be a good Alpha who sets the example other female alphas will follow. Can't you see that this is a way? A way without fighting, a way that shows we're a part of the pack, not just figureheads to be challenged."

  When she looked up, she watched Aneira's dress flutter in the crack of the door, and then the door slammed shut. She could only hope Aneira would come back. That her mate would see reason. Did she want to breed? She couldn't say. It hadn't been an option before. But, Aneira was so sweet-natured, so loving, a child would thrive as a part of their family.

  And the pack would thrive. Sasha felt that in the very marrow of her bones. If they could take this step, show that they didn't hate the males, that they were as pack-minded as all the others, it would all work out. She just needed Aneira to see that, too.

  Daneyl came at her again, and again Sasha slipped out of his reach. This was the third challenger since her meeting with Terfel, and Sasha was trying to take his words to heart. Neither of the first two had been seriously injured during their fights, and Sasha was determined that Daneyl would escape with only his pride broken as well.

  It was easier said than done, though. Daneyl was faster and stronger than either of the other two opponents, so simply throwing him out of the way was more difficult. Moments earlier, he had actually managed to bring his weight down on top of her, and it was only a well-timed knee to the groin that allowed Sasha to wriggle free.

  Daneyl growled his frustration and tensed for another pass. Sasha was beginning to tire, and any hope of simply outlasting him was fading. She knew she had to end this now. When Daneyl rushed for her this time, Sasha stood her ground. She summoned up all her reserves of strength and lashed out, driving her palm into Daneyl's nose. The blow stopped Daneyl in his tracks as his eyes watered and a small trickle of blood dripped from a nostril. Sasha did not pause; she spun around, trapping the man's arm in a submission hold.

  "First blood," she declared. "Do you yield?" The 'N' sound began to dribble from Daneyl's lips. Sasha redoubled her hold, until the bone creaked from the pressure. "Do. You. Yield," she repeated, making it clear that this was not a question.

  "I yield," Daneyl spat through gritted teeth.

  Sasha dropped him to the ground and stalked out of the challenge circle. The men were getting bolder; Daneyl would never have challenged before. Damn Terfel. Challenge by combat had always been the natural order of advancement within a pack. She had understood the necessity when combat to the death had been outlawed—they had lost too many to sacrifice any more. But telling her she could no longer fight with her entire heart was crippling her.

  And then there was Aneira.

  Aneira hadn't been coming into their room until long after Sasha was asleep, and then slept on the divan they had. The tension between Alpha and Alpha-Mate was trickling down through the pack. It made the women skittish, and the men bristle. It had to come to an end somehow, but Sasha was at a loss. Without Aneira, she was simply lost, and with her, so was the pack. It was only a matter of time before one of the males beat her or Terfel removed her as Alpha.

  Gauwyn's words haunted her every waking moment. It was the answer, but it wasn't the answer she would accept if Aneira wouldn't be beside her. She'd rather be deposed and exiled than without Aneira.

  Her whole body hurt, and she groaned as she opened the door to her room. She could smell that Aneira had been in recently, and it only made her heart hurt more. Sasha wanted to kiss her, love her, make things right, but she couldn't. She had to let Aneira work through it all and come to her. It was trying her patience to give Aneira that space while also fending off the challengers. She was being pulled in two, and she was beginning to wonder if it was worth it.

  Sasha grabbed a change of clothes and headed off to the baths. She had to get the stink of Daneyl's sweat off her before she could go to bed, because maybe tonight, Aneira would come to bed with her.

  Aneira didn't speak to Sasha for three weeks. It was three weeks of pure hell, and Sasha thought she was going to go mad between the unease of the pack, Terfel's pressure, Gauwyn's not-so-subtle manipulations, and Aneira's distance. She was being pulled in a dozen different directions, and she didn't know which one was the right one. What Sasha did know was that she was exhausted, tired right down into her bones, and she wanted her mate.

  Maybe Aneira felt it, too, because the door to their room opened and Aneira stepped in. Yes, Aneira had been sleeping—on occasion—in their room, on that damned divan, but this time, when Aneira entered, she met Sasha's eyes. It was then, as they stared silently at one another, that the first tendrils of hope unfurled inside Sasha. Maybe, just maybe, she could salvage her relationship, please her king, and keep her pack. As long as she had Aneira at her side, loving her, she knew could do it.

  Sasha wanted to fill the silence, but if she pushed, Aneira would run again. There couldn't be any more running. For either of them. She drew on all her learned patience, remained where she sat in the middle of their bed, and tried to keep her breathing even. She was certain Aneira was testing her now, that this was the moment for them, and she'd be damned if she screwed it up and lost everything. By the time she'd counted to three hundred-and-thirty-four, Aneira stepped away from the door and sat on the edge of the bed. Her back was straight, her head high, and Sasha wet her lips, wanting so badly to shake her, beg her to say something!

  "Do you want to have a child with me?" Aneira finally asked, her voice so soft, so neutral.

  Sasha couldn't stop herself from inching closer to Aneira on the bed. "With you?"

  Aneira turned her head, her eyes dark and serious. "A child isn't a bargaining chip. It isn't something you create just to appease a man or a king. A child is a person, Sasha. It is a creature who will depend on us for care, for guidance, for love. I won't be a part of making that life if it's just going to be ignored or pawned off on me because all you wanted to do was compromise with the pack. It's either you want a family with your mate, or you want a disposable means to an end. Which is it?"

  It was then that Sasha understood. Aneira wanted a family, not a ward. If they were to do this, it would be done right, just like Terfel and Gauwyn. But, did Sasha really want that? A child to love and teach and raise to be as good and honorable as Sasha had been taught to be? If it were a little girl, could they bring her up knowing that the females were just as strong, just as smart, and just as vicious as the males? If it were a boy, could they teach him that females should be as respected as any male? It was more responsibility on top of the pack, but it was an even greater responsibility because it was the next generation. The generation that could truly change the way the House of Wood ran.

  Sasha met Aneira's eyes again and saw the small spark of hope in them. Aneira wanted a family. Aneira wanted a family with Sasha. A smile slowly found its way to Sasha lips. "Yes," she murmured. She reached out to draw her fingers over Aneira's lightly flushed cheek. The contact—after being denied it so long—made her heart jump. "Yes, Aneira, I want a family with you."

  Aneira leaned into the gentle touch. "You're sure? You know what that means?"

  "It means that, for the next twelve months, I'm going to be unable to accept challenges from the males, and then, when the baby comes, there is going to be a lot of diapers to change." Sasha grinned when Aneira laughed, and then she pulled Aneira into her arms, kissed her smiling mouth. "I know what it means," she murmured between kisses. "It means we're going to be mothers. We're going to be teachers."

  "We're going to do this right," Aneira said, her fingers caressing Sasha's face. The kisses never stopped, even as they spoke. Too long apart had left them desperate for one another, to make up, to make it all right once more. "The males can't take the baby from us. It has to be our child, Sasha. Ours. I won't be cast aside. I love you too much to quietly stand in the shadows and let you raise a child with some male."

 
; Sasha shook her head. "He is only a means to an end," she said, using Aneira's earlier words. "He carries the seed, and that's all I want from him."

  "You're sure?" That light of uncertainty filled Aneira's eyes again, even as she cuddled closer to Sasha.

  "I'm fucking positive," Sasha said with a smile, and then she pressed Aneira down into the sheets, her hands eager to separate Aneira from her dress. "I've missed you. I thought I would go crazy with you so far away."

  Aneira arched, squirmed, helped Sasha rid her of the offending fabric, and then cried out when their nude bodies touched once more. "I couldn't think; I was so mad."

  Sasha's hand strayed between Aneira's thighs, cupping her sex and moaning at the heat of it. "I know. I just want what's best for us, even if that isn't a pack of our own."

  "It is best," Aneira gasped, pressing down against Sasha's fingers. "It's our family, if we can just hold it together a little longer!"

  It was enough talk. Sasha didn't want to talk anymore. All she wanted was to make Aneira cry out in pleasure, writhe under her hands and mouth. As she kissed down Aneira's body, Aneira reached out, stopped her. Sasha could scent how ready Aneira was, how much she wanted Sasha, so the pause confused her. "Aneira?"

  Those dark eyes, so warm and loving, sharpened. "Who?"

  Sasha blinked. "Who what?"

  "Who will you mate with?"

  A goofy half-smile spread over Sasha's face. "I'm about to taste you and you're asking which male's seed I'll use?"

  Aneira nodded, her expression as serious as any used in a council room. "I need to know."

  Sasha flopped back on the bed, horny and denied. "Why?"

  "Because if we don't do this on your next cycle, I may talk myself out of it," Aneira admitted, curling up against Sasha's side.

  "Now who's not sure?" Sasha teased, kissing the top of Aneira's head. But, Aneira was right. If it was going to be done, it had to be done soon. She cupped Aneira's breast, fondled it, pinched the nipple, loving to soft, needy sighs that passed Aneira's lips. "Have you anyone in mind?" Silly question, Sasha knew: Aneira wouldn't have brought it up if she didn't already have a male picked out.