The Butterfly Box_A SASS Anthology

by Anthology

  “Oh yeah? I guess I should have asked Michael first.” He smirks.

  “Who?” I turn my face to him, enough to see him but not enough for him to see me in full glory.

  “Michael” He nods towards my bag on the floor. “Kors perhaps?” His brows arch and a big grin spreads across his face.

  “Are you sure you’re in the right place? I don’t think this college offers fashion courses.” The grin gets even bigger and I swear his face looks more heartbreaking by the second. In that split second, I register his chiseled jaw and eyes that are nothing but endless black holes. I avert my eyes in the direction of the board and focus on the subject. Asshole.

  “I knew I was in the wrong place, by the looks of this crowd.” I hear him whisper next to me. “What is that Chemistry?” He leans over and peeks at my notes.

  I swear I shiver at the smell of his cologne when he leans close and that is the terrible way of my body betraying me. I move away to let him know that him being that close, is not what I want. “I think the board states that pretty clearly.” I hiss, my body stiff and my heart racing from his closeness. And the fact that he is handsome has nothing to do with it. He could be Prince Harry for all I care. I’m not ready for any of this boyfriend crap. I’m done with handsome college boys who think they are the shit. I made that mistake once and look where I ended up.

  “Aren’t you clever?” He stretches in this chair and puts his arms over his head like he is having the best time of his life.

  I say nothing to that, instead I brush my hair with my fingers and pull it further over my face.

  I hear him shuffle in his seat more than a few times during the class and it annoys the crap out of me. It’s obvious that he is not here for the same reason I am. I’m here to learn while he is probably one of those rich prick boys that will slide his way through college just so his daddy can give him his hard earned money with the peace of mind that his son actually is, a college graduate. Classic.

  The Biology is over and I pack my books inside my MK bag slowly, biding my time so I don’t have to pass him or any other student for that matter. He stands up and turns in my direction, smiling.

  “Nice to meet you…” He waits for me to say my name but I have no interest in giving him one. “I’m Ryder Scott.” He steps closer and stretches out his hand to me. Can’t he get a hint?

  “Payton.” I throw my name but refuse to give him my hand. First of all, that would mean I would have to touch him, and I can’t trust my stupid body right now. Second of all, it meant I would have to raise my head and risk my hair revealing something I’d rather hide.

  “Payton.” He repeats after me like he is trying to memorize my name. I stop my movement for a second at the sound of my name on his lips. “I will see you around Payton.” His smile grows bigger as he turns around on his heel and finally leaves the auditorium.

  I walk out of the room and head for my next class, head low, my steps fast but careful, trying to be invisible. I round the corner and I bump into someone, the book I was holding in my hands along with some papers, falls down and scatters all over the floor. Great! Just what I need - attention!

  “We meet again, Payton.” I don’t have to look up to know who this voice belongs to and I can’t believe that my first day, of my new life, of my new adventure, is nothing but crap.

  “If you call that a meeting then yes, we do and I can’t say I’m thrilled about that.” He crouches next to me and helps me pick up a few loose papers from the floor.

  “Ouch, that hurts.” He places his hand over his heart and I have no choice but crack a smile. “But I will take the pain if it means I can see you smile.” I stand up and stretch out my hand, waiting for my papers to be handed back to me. I get nothing but his brown, almost black eyes looking at me and his lips curling into a smile. Those eyes travel to my face and I can see the exact moment when they see what I’ve been hiding. I watch him so closely that in that nanosecond I see his brows furrow and then relax the moment his eyes land on mine again. His mouth opens like he is about to say something but I snatch what’s mine from his hand and rush past him, not giving him the slightest chance to ask. Because he was about to ask. I could feel it, I always can. Ask how did it happen, or what happened and probably somewhere between those questions he would say that I still look pretty, and that he’s sorry, and then his eyes would be filled with nothing but pity. Fucking pity. I hate that people try to cover that damned pity under nice and fluffy words; trying to make it something it’s not.

  ‘Welcome to the first day of my new life!’ I think as I step into my next class and head for the far left corner of the room.

  “I DIDN’T PROPERLY introduce myself last night, I’m Sam.” My roommate welcomes me when I get back to our room.

  “Payton” I smile and head over to my side of the room to drop my bags. She jumps out of her bed and sprints over to me, wrapping me around in a friendly hug.

  “I’m sorry if I came out weird last night, but I was so excited to see my boyfriend I couldn’t think of anything else.” She breathes in my ear. Like actually breathes in my ear. Like I could feel her breath touching my earlobe. I guess it doesn’t get more intimate than that when it comes to introductions.

  She’s nice. I get it, but that hug that came out of nowhere paralyzes me to the point that I stand with my arms down at my sides unsure what to do.

  “No problem, don’t worry about it.” I step back and reach for my hair to cover my face. I see her eyes go wide for a second when she sees my face and I wait for the question. It’s not like I thought that having a roommate was going to be smooth and easy. I knew the questions would come, they always do, but today is not really one of those days where I feel like explaining things. Not after the exhausting first day of classes.

  To my surprise she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t ask anything, at least not about my face. She tugs me along to her side of the room and I have no other choice but to sit next to her on her bed.

  “Ok, I will start.” She smiles and runs her tongue over her teeth, which makes her look funny. “I’m from Savoy, Massachusetts, but that probably won't ring the bell for you as we are like one of the smallest towns on the planet, like seriously, not even 700 people. We all know each other and it's kind of fun most of the time.” She pauses for a second and licks her teeth again. Weird. “I’m here to study pediatrics. I love kids.” She closes her eyes for a second and brings her hands to her heart. Ok, I get it, she really loves kids.

  “Do you have any siblings?” The question seems appropriate since she really loves kids.

  “Yah, one.” Her face falls a bit. “Twin brother. But he looks nothing like me, and he is studying here as well.” Now she looks nothing but annoyed. “I guess twins have this thing to always stick together.” She shrugs. “What about you? Where are you from and what are you studying? Tell me everything so we know everything about each other.”

  Jesus. I guess going slow and easy in college just got less doable.

  “Well, I’m from Pennsylvania. I live just an hour north from here in a decent city and I can’t say I know every single person in my town. I am the only child so I have no idea what being a twin feels like, and I’m here to study plastic surgery.“ I guess I covered everything that needs to be said. “I guess that makes us friends then.” I stand up and walk to my tiny closet grabbing a sweater and heading towards the door.

  “I haven’t seen you here before and I probably know, like every single person on campus.” Her nose wrinkles and she looks at me, obviously waiting for an answer.

  There we go.

  “I transferred.

  “Ohhh, that’s why. Well, welcome anyway.

  “Thanks” I smile and stand up.

  “Where are you going?”

  Seriously?

  “I’m going to grab an early dinner in the cafeteria.”

  I watch her jump out of bed and grab a sweater as well “Great I will go with you. I’ll show you around.”

 
; “Sure.” I don’t know what I’m more confused about. Her super friendly personality, or the fact that she was acting like a total bitch last night. God, please don’t let me deal with some kind of split personality disorder, roommate.

  We walk outside the building in complete silence. No, scratch that, that is what I was wishing for, instead she kept going on and on about her life, her friends in her small town and her notorious relationships. How many eligible guys can you have in a town where the population doesn’t go over seven hundred? I listened, I nodded my head and felt sorry for her every time she said that Johnny or Bob broke up with her for no reason. Then she goes on about how she feels here, and how awesome the social life is around here, which I don’t really pay attention to because I just don’t care.

  One thing was clear. She’d had a lot of boyfriends and every single one of them broke up with her. I was just about to ask her the reason for those break ups when we walk in the cafeteria and she drags me back outside.

  “Holy crap, I can’t go in there.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Billy is there. I can’t see Billy today.”

  “And who is Billy?” In our ten minutes walk I’ve heard like twenty names (I’m sure that was the full population of guys her age in her town) but I haven’t heard Billy’s name that’s for sure.

  “My boyfriend.” She looks at me and she does that thing again with her tongue over her teeth.

  “So?”

  “He broke up with me last night.”

  “Ahhh” That is the most that I can say right now. I mean really? She said that every single boyfriend broke up with her, so maybe she is some kind of freak I should stay away from. “Did he give you a reason?” I try to find something.

  “No.” She shakes her head and looks down. I’m not a psychologist but I know she is hiding something. We all hide something. We all have our little dirty secrets that we keep only to ourselves.

  “Ok. We can walk few more minutes and there is that pizza place I saw yesterday while I was driving here.” I turn around and start walking when I hear her.

  “It’s ok, let’s go.”

  “Are you sure? I am fine with pizza.” I lie. I hate pizza.

  “Yes, I’m good. Let’s go.”

  We walk into the cafeteria and there is a crowd of people to my surprise. It’s not even dinnertime yet and half the place is packed.

  We order our food and walk to the first available table taking out seats.

  “God, I shouldn’t look at him.” Sam is lowering her head and slumping her shoulders.

  I look at her and can’t wrap my head around how different she was last night. I took her for a bitch and she is nothing like it.

  “Then don’t. Let’s eat and get out of here.” I watch her nod her head and start eating.

  We are almost done with our meals and I think I know everything about Sam’s family, her hometown and I’m sure I am filled in with most of the gossip around here when someone approaches our table.

  “How are you, sis?”

  I snap my head too fast and I know that my hair is not where it should be, it’s not covering what it should. Instead, the curls swing freely away from my face showing the real me. Me, that is not ready to be seen. Not here. Not now. Not in front of Ryder Scott.

  “Hi, Ry.” My roommate is more than annoyed. “What do you want? Scare another boyfriend of mine? Guess what? You succeeded. Again. So get lost.” She’s standing up and I follow her lead. We came together, we leave together. Right? Unwritten girls’ code.

  “Payton.” My name rolling from his lips like he is the only one allowed to say it.

  I pull a small smile and follow Sam out of the cafeteria, hurrying after her to catch up.

  “That’s your brother? Ryder is your twin brother?” I finally put all her talks, or confessions(take it as you want)together.

  “Yeah, the most annoying asshole that can walk on this planet. He is the reason I can never keep a boyfriend for longer than few dates. He is the one that tells them all to stay away because I’m a virgin.” She shouts her accusations and a few people passing us turn their heads towards us.

  “Asshole.” That is coming easy for me. He is an asshole. I saw his ‘assholeness’ back in the auditorium.

  “Tell me about it.” Her head hangs low as she walks towards our dorm. I feel bad for her. Maybe because I’m on the same page. Being a virgin that is. But unlike her, I don’t have anybody that is trying to keep me a virgin. She currently has Ryder to keep her vagina in check.

  “Let me say something, can I?” She nods her head and I try to select my words carefully. The craziest idea just hit my head.

  “If he is trying so hard to keep you a virgin, for whatever reason, why don’t you do the same?”

  Her eyes are widening and I smile thinking she likes that idea and I just made her day.

  “Are you kidding? He’s Ryder Scott, nobody would believe that crap.”

  I shrug “Yeah, probably nobody would, but it doesn’t hurt to try when you see someone he is interested in.” I wink and jab her with my elbow.

  She is quiet for a few steps and I start to think that my idea is, in fact, stupid.

  “You know what, I’m going to try this. I will do the same thing he is doing to me. You are right.” She claps her hands and skips the step in front of me. “Let’s do this. You can help me with it.”

  Me? Help? I never said I’m helping. I only got an idea.

  I SAT IN my usual corner spot. To the left. For me it’s like the invisible place. Except Ryder Scott is walking straight up to the seat next to me like he has for the past few weeks.

  I got used to the idea that he is Sam’s brother.

  I got used to the idea that I promised to make his next relationship miserable.

  I got used to the idea that he smiles at me that certain way.

  I got used to the idea that his voice tickles my ears and some parts of my heart, like no one else did before.

  What I haven’t got used to, is the fast beating of my heart every time I see him walk towards me.

  What I haven’t got used to is the way my hands tremble every time he is leaning over pretending he didn’t catch that last sentence from the lecture.

  What I haven’t got used to is the shocking wave of electricity that goes through me every time he touches my hand when he pretends to borrow my pencil, even though his, is lying next to his notebook.

  “Payton.” My name coming out of his mouth for the hundredth time this month.

  “Hi, Ryder.” I shift in my seat and pull my hair over my face, uneasy, unsure what all this means. His four times a week interaction with me should not give me any ideas. We just happen to sit next to each other at biology class.

  His glances at me with eyes that are full of fire, are nothing but my crazy imagination. His legs touching mine under the table are nothing but coincidence because let's face it, his legs are long and muscular, and he needs to stretch them often during a ninety-minute class.

  “What’s up?” He leans closer to me and it’s hard not to appreciate the fact that he smells delicious. I would have no problem licking that deliciousness at any second.

  Really Payton? Jeez, it’s like my hormones are in some kind of overdrive every time he’s near me.

  “Nothing’s really changed since yesterday.” I keep looking straight because the truth is, he is so close that if I try to look at him, which will require my face to turn right, I might land maybe an inch from his face. Not happening. “You? Anything exciting since we last talked twenty-four hours ago?”

  I don’t have to look at him to know that he is biting the right corner of his full mouth, his right eye slightly closed. I saw that look way too many times. That is his signature ‘thinking’ face. “Let’s see, I had a long ass practice which sucked because I came on to Tyler, way too strongly and most likely sprained his shoulder. Half the team is not really happy about that. Then I went for a couple of beers with a few teammates a
nd I had to wake up a few hours later to make it to the gym on time.”

  I snort in my mind. At least I think I’m doing it in my mind. “How the hell are you going out every night and yet managing to go to the gym every morning?” And where is that beer belly that you should have by now? I don’t actually ask that, but come on, how can one have perfect abs drinking loads of calories every night. Not that I saw them or anything, but those tight tees that he is wearing tell the truth. Ok, once I saw some of it. A tiny little bit of it, when he lifted his arms to stretch on the chair and his shirt rode up to reveal that glorious V line or a tiny inch of it of it. But my imagination was working on overdrive and I swear I saw the whole V, not just a fraction of it.

  “Practice, Pay, practice. You will learn, eventually.” He nudges me playfully with his elbow.

  I just shake my head. I don’t see a point in explaining to him that I actually attend college to learn something, not ruin my liver. But I guess the party animal vibes were implanted with his genes because his sister also thinks that college is about one thing and one thing only - partying.

  In fact, I barely saw her in the past week due to her obsession with one of the frat boys. All I know that he is hot and super handsome and that his shoulders are bigger than anything I have ever seen. Oh and I also know that Ryan cannot find out about this, otherwise he will sabotage her attempts to finally become a woman -her words, not mine. I nearly choked on a granola bar when she told me that a few days ago at seven o’clock in the morning. Who in their right mind thinks about losing their virginity first thing in the morning?

  Well, apparently someone does. And that someone is my roommate.

  I WALK INTO the cafeteria and do what I do best, lower my head, studying the black and white tiles on the floor while I walk to get my food. I see the red mark on the white tile and I know I have seven more steps till I have to lift my head and read the specials for today. Seven more steps and I will have to casually pull my hair over my face like this is the look I’m going for. With my dark hair that is constantly pulled over my face, I should consider getting a few face piercing’s and change my wardrobe to all black and I will look just fine, nothing ordinary about the outsider that is hiding under a few piercing’s and veil of black hair.