Dandelion Dreams

by Samantha Garman

  I was in a strapless ball gown with a satin corset, a full tulle skirt and tulle overlay. On the back of the dress was a peplum of organza petals. I looked like I belonged miniature sized on top of a wedding cake, but I turned to Claire and managed a smile, even though I wanted to throw up—and it had nothing to do with pregnancy.

  For the wedding day, she would groom me into what she wanted. And I would let her because I loved Kai.

  “Perfect,” Claire said with a smug grin.

  That night, I crumpled onto the couch and refused to move. Kai sat down, picked up my feet, and let them rest across his lap. “You’re a sport,” Kai said as he began to rub my toes.

  I purred in delight. “Your mother is pure evil. You won’t believe the dress she picked out. Tell me about your day. Distract me from the memory of all the tulle.”

  Kai laughed. “I helped Keith with the horses and tried to get Tristan’s father on the phone.”

  “Any luck?”

  “No. I left messages, but he hasn’t called me back. I think he’s avoiding me.”

  “It’s all Alice in Wonderland right now.”

  “What does that mean?” he asked.

  “You know when she falls down the rabbit hole and then goes through the hourglass and turns upside down? That’s what you’ve done, coming back here—turned everything upside down.”

  “I should be patient, shouldn’t I?”

  “Yes, and you should keep rubbing my feet.”

  Chapter 21

  Kai

  I slipped out of bed, watching the rise and fall of Sage’s chest. She slept soundly; I touched her hair and leaned over to kiss her forehead before I left the guest room. I drove on autopilot on a road I had driven a thousand times. The terrain steepened as I entered the mountains, and twenty minutes later I pulled into the driveway of my grandmother’s small wood cabin.

  Cutting the engine, I got out of the car. The stars were bright, and the night was warm—I loved summertime in Monteagle. I missed this place more than I had thought.

  I tread quietly, not wanting to scare the crap out of Memaw, but then the front door opened, and she stood in the doorway.

  “What are you doing here?” she demanded.

  “Couldn’t sleep.”

  “So you thought you’d pop by for a midnight chat?” She smiled.

  “You’re awake, aren’t you?”

  “I am.” She pulled the sash of her bathrobe tighter across her body. “I was going to make some tea. Want some?”

  I sat in the kitchen as she heated water, and when she was done we took our mugs out onto the back porch to watch the stars. “It’s nice out here,” I said.

  “Reminds me of all those nights in your childhood when you came to stay here with me and your grandfather.”

  “Those were the best.” My voice was tinged with fondness. “Ice cream sundaes for dinner; pitching a tent in the backyard and pretending to go camping.” I sighed. “This was more than my home—it was my haven.”

  “What about the Chelser ranch? You spent a good amount of time there, too.”

  I grinned. “That was the club house.”

  We laughed, and Memaw reached over to touch my arm. “I’m glad we could be there for you.”

  “You really have no idea what you’ve done for me. I wouldn’t have survived without you and Grampy. I’m sorry we lost two years.”

  “But you’re not sorry you left.”

  I shook my head. “I met Sage.”

  She smiled. “We all have our own journeys, Kai. Never apologize for where yours takes you.”

  “How did you go on after Grampy died?”

  “The same way you did. I chose life.”

  I took a deep breath. “I thought I had lost everything when I lost Tristan and Reece, but now I have Sage, and I’m afraid all the time. I can’t lose her too.”

  “That’s how you know you have something truly beautiful, Kai. That’s how you know your love will last a lifetime.”

  •••

  I crept into the Chelsers’ house, surprised to find Keith in the kitchen, heating something on the stove.

  “I thought you went to bed hours ago,” Keith commented as I sat at the table.

  “I did—couldn’t sleep, so I went for a drive. What are you doing?”

  “Warming some milk.”

  “No bourbon?”

  Keith smiled and went to the cabinet. He pulled out two cups, poured the milk into them and handed one to me.

  I took a sip of warm milk and grimaced. “This is terrible.”

  “Yep,” Keith agreed, sitting down with his mug.

  “You don’t sleep well?”

  Keith shrugged. “Not anymore. Doesn’t matter how long or how hard I’ve worked, I still wake up in the middle of the night.”

  “And the milk helps?”

  “No, but it’s habit now. Sometimes Alice is awake, too, and we have a nice long talk.”

  “Ever try pills?”

  Keith made a face. “Poison.”

  I was silent and thoughtful. Pills had never been my choice to help me forget. Bourbon seemed destructive enough—and the women before Sage.

  “What’s on your mind, son?”

  “I’ve tried getting in touch with Tristan’s dad, but I haven’t heard anything.”

  Keith’s lined face looked resigned. “Alexander and Evelyn are separated.”

  “What? When?”

  “For about a year, now,” Keith admitted. “They had problems long before Tristan died.”

  “Shit. Why didn’t Lucy tell me?”

  “She doesn’t know.”

  “Are you kidding me?”

  Keith shook his head. “They don’t want anyone to know.”

  “How are they keeping it a secret?”

  “They still appear together in public but live separately.”

  “Appearances, huh? I can’t believe it.”

  “Some people can’t survive the tragedy of losing a child.”

  “You and Alice did.”

  Keith smiled, but it was buried by sadness. “You haven’t been here to know what we’ve gone through, son, and I’m glad you weren’t.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. You can’t look back.” Keith shrugged. “It was rough for a while, like living with a stranger.”

  “You guys were stronger than the tragedy.”

  “We’re stronger in spite of it. I wouldn’t wish losing a child on my worst enemy. It goes against the laws of nature—we were supposed to go first.” He sighed. “Go to bed, Kai. Crawl in bed next to your beautiful wife and hold her.”

  Taking Keith’s suggestion, I did exactly that, and wrapped my arms around Sage, who instinctively rolled towards me and whimpered in her sleep. I felt joy mixed with sadness, and pondered if life would ever be one without the other.

  •••

  “Do you ever wonder what your life could’ve been?” Reece asks.

  “Sure, who doesn’t?” I answer.

  “Are there moments in your life where you knew that if you had taken a different path, everything would’ve been different?”

  “I almost went to Italy instead of France.”

  “Really? What made you decide?”

  I grin. “Train leaving first.”

  “That’s it?”

  “That’s it.”

  “Damn.” Reece pauses. “I almost didn’t graduate high school.”

  “I know.”

  “If it wasn’t for you and Tristan, I would’ve never gotten through it.”

  “I know that, too.” I toss a pebble into the lake. “I wonder how Sage will look in fifteen years.”

  “Content,” Reece predicts.

  “I don’t know if Sage and I are meant to be content—it may not be for us.”

  “It’ll be what it’ll be.”

  “I really miss you guys. I miss drinking beers on Tristan’s porch, talking about women and life.”

  Reece laughs. “You never talked
about women.”

  “Tristan’s women,” I correct. “Until he fell in love with Lucy. I haven’t asked her if she’s happy.”

  “Must be hard to look at Dakota and see Tristan peeking out from his eyes.”

  “Might give her comfort.”

  “It might—doubt it though,” Reece says. “It’s nice knowing there’s a piece of him left.”

  “What’s left of you?”

  “You remember me, don’t you?”

  Chapter 22

  Sage

  I opened the door and blinked. Memaw stood on the Chelsers’ porch, blue eyes twinkling, her smile wide.

  “Sorry, did I wake you?”

  “How could you tell?” I asked, my voice raspy. I’d been enjoying a nap on the couch when the knock sounded. Kai was with Keith, helping with the horses; it somehow gave him comfort to come home with dirt under his nails and sweat on his brow. Alice was out running errands, and I’d had the house to myself.

  “First trimester. Besides, I see a pillow crease on your cheek.”

  I laughed, reaching up to touch my face. Sure enough, I felt a little groove.

  “You want to come with me?”

  “Sure.” I slipped on my tennis shoes and sent a quick text to Kai. We drove into the mountains and I asked, “Where are we going?”

  “I thought I’d show you the property.”

  “Property?”

  “Mine.”

  We drove for a while and then parked at Memaw’s cabin and climbed out the car. The day was bright and warm as we hiked, and soon I was wiping my forehead with the back of my hand. My grogginess melted away, leaving me restored. Memaw shot me a look and said, “You aren’t winded are you?”

  “Like I’d admit it to you?” The woman was downright spry, youthful.

  Memaw chuckled. “Well, what do you think?” She gestured to the land, filled with trees, serenity and the most incredible panorama I’d ever seen.

  “To say it’s beautiful doesn’t do it justice. Hand carved by Mother Nature herself.”

  “Must be strange for a city girl like you.”

  “I’m not a city girl. Not anymore,” I said. “Hard to believe I ever was.”

  “You miss France.”

  “So much. Not just Tours, but the Germains, too.” They’d been there for me, given me a place out of the storm, a place to weather the grief. Family.

  Memaw touched my arm in tacit understanding. “How are the plans for the party coming?”

  “You’ll have to ask Claire. I’m out of it.” Thank God, too, because I was fairly certain one of us wouldn’t have survived. I went to fittings when she told me to. I nodded in agreement when she talked. I didn’t hear anything.

  We continued to walk until we came to a clearing, and then sat on gray rocks that were almost large enough to be boulders. I asked, “How are they dealing with Kai’s homecoming?”

  “They’re not. George spends most of his time at the office, and Claire…”

  “Claire is very free with her opinions.”

  “Don’t let it get to you.”

  “I’ll try. How did Claire wind up with George?” I wondered aloud.

  “My son met her when he was too young to know any better.”

  “Does he love her?”

  “Yes, but he also likes a challenge. It makes him feel like he’s constantly earning something.”

  I snorted in laughter. “How like a lawyer to enjoy the take down.”

  “Were you a challenge?” Memaw asked.

  “Maybe. Not really, I don’t think. I had put up walls, but to Kai they were made of glass. He saw right through them. He was very persistent.”

  “He knew what he wanted,” Memaw commented, “and he went after it.”

  “Yes, he did.”

  “Most of us see the truth between you and Kai. Claire will either climb on board or she won’t. It’s that simple.”

  I let out a breath, along with some of my tension. “It would be easier. On Kai that is, if she could just learn to accept me.”

  “It would be easier on all of us, honey. How is Kai?”

  “He’s okay.”

  “What’s going on between Kai and Wyatt?”

  “Not a lot. Both are in a state of mutual avoidance.” I shook my head. “I like Wyatt. I like him a lot. And Lucy. I’m glad they’re happy.” I stood and stretched my back, unable to hide another yawn.

  Memaw laughed. “Come on, I’ll take you back to the Chelsers’.”

  I put a hand to my slowly rounding belly. “I feel like I’m sleeping all the time.”

  “Do you believe it yet?” She glanced at my midsection.

  I shrugged. “Not yet. I don’t think I’ll believe it until I push the thing out of me.”

  She laughed. “You have such a way with words, Sage.”

  •••

  I was setting a basket of newly-gathered eggs on the counter when my cell phone buzzed. Answering it, I heard Jules’ voice on the other end just as the doorbell rang. “Hold on a second,” I told her.

  Throwing open the door, I stared at my best friend, who grinned, held out her phone and then hung up. She held a wrapped present under her arm and her suitcase rested on the porch.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, even as I enveloped Jules in an exuberant hug.

  Grinning like an imp, Jules stepped into the foyer. “Kai and I planned this—thought you might need some reinforcements for this party you told me so much about.”

  “Best surprise ever!”

  “Where is he?”

  “With Keith, leading a group on a horse-back riding trail.”

  “Say what, now?”

  I laughed. “He spends most of his days outdoors, getting his hands dirty.”

  “How Clint Eastwood of him.”

  “You have to stay here.”

  Jules set her bag down by the door. “Really?”

  “Are you kidding? Alice will insist. This place is like a youth hostel.” I pointed to the box. “What’s that?”

  “A gift for you.”

  “For me?”

  “Well, for my niece or nephew.”

  I grinned and took the present into the kitchen. I tore off the wrapping paper, opened the box and pulled out a stuffed giraffe. “Could this be any cuter?”

  “I got it from one of those really expensive baby boutiques.”

  “Upper East Side?”

  “You know it.”

  “Thanks, Jules.” I set the giraffe down on the chair. “I love it.”

  “There is a basket of eggs on the counter.”

  “Observant of you,” I teased. “They have chickens.”

  “Chickens?”

  “You know, cluck cluck cluck.”

  “I know what a chicken is.”

  “I collect the eggs.”

  Jules laughed. “Dorothy, I don’t think we’re in Brooklyn anymore.”

  “Haven’t been for a long time. You hungry?”

  “Starved.”

  I made us sandwiches and then sat at the table. “Kai’s mother continues to hate me.”

  “Has she spent any time with you at all?”

  “As little as possible.”

  “I really wish you weren’t knocked up. What’s gossiping without a bottle of wine?”

  “How about some chocolate?”

  “Guess that will have to do.”

  “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “I wish it was under better circumstances.”

  I sighed. “You know when you walk into your home and take a deep breath and feel the sanctuary of it?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Being here feels something like that, but also like I’m hopping from one rock to another, trying not to fall into molten lava.”

  “That makes absolutely no sense.”

  “There’s peace here, but there isn’t. I don’t know—maybe it’s the hormones. Or this is the place where it all collides, and when it’s over, I’m left with nothing but
broken pieces.”

  “You talk in riddles; you didn’t used to do that.”

  “Sorry, my brain is scrambled.”

  “Scrambled brains, yum. What do they taste like?”

  “A little bit salty. From all the tears.” Shaking my head, I smiled. “Come on, let’s see if we can get Memaw to bake us something. You’re going to love her.”

  •••

  Kai and I had booked an expansive, cream-colored suite at the Hermitage Hotel, so we could get ready before the reception. Afterward, we’d come upstairs, soak in the Jacuzzi, and wash away the ordeal that would be this night. Kai, looking handsome in his tuxedo, had left thirty minutes ago. He was probably at the hotel bar having a drink. I was alone with Jules, who was helping me with my hair and dress.

  “Stop laughing,” I demanded as I ran a hand down the ridiculous tulle skirt. I turned back to the mirror and stared at my reflection. I looked like a doll—lifeless and cold. “Why did I decide to do this?”

  Jules sobered, rose from her chair and tied my sash into a bow. “Because you love Kai.”

  “It’s that simple? I love him; therefore, I suffer?” I groused.

  “Just wait. You’ll see.”

  “See what?”

  “I can’t tell you. It will be worth it, though.”

  “He planned a surprise? Another one? He’s full of them.” I couldn’t help the smile that tugged across my face.

  “He did good with the farmhouse, didn’t he? Trust him.”

  I reached for Jules’ hand and squeezed it. “Can you tell I’m pregnant in this dress?”

  “Yes,” she said.

  “Sometimes I wish you’d lie to me.”

  “No, you don’t. Then you couldn’t trust anything I said.”

  “There is that.”

  “You look beautiful,” she went on. “You’ve got that pregnant glow.”

  I shot her a look, and she shrugged.

  “The dress really isn’t that bad, just not your style—you can do this.”

  “I don’t want to leave this hotel suite. It’s gorgeous and safe, and down in that ballroom, I’m going to have to talk to people I don’t know and smile until my face hurts.”