False Start

by Rebel Farris

  “Your name, sweetie?” the nice, older lady in the food truck asked. She had a full sleeve of tattoos running down her left arm and gray streaks in her dark brown hair.

  I froze because I didn’t know how to answer. I’d been Laine for so long now. Laine was the Austinite city girl who would eat from food trucks and play in a punk band. But I was meeting Jared here, and with Jared I was Maddie.

  “Maddie,” I answered in a choked voice.

  She smiled like I wasn’t having an identity crisis and handed me my change. I turned to find a place to sit, only to see Jared standing about ten feet away. I offered him a smile and walked toward him.

  “Hey, I went ahead and got some food,” I said, hitching my thumb back at the truck behind me.

  “I’m glad you came. Give me a minute,” Jared said and walked past me to place his order.

  I sat down at a nearby picnic table and tried not to notice that he’d changed so much. Gone was the boy I once knew. He had filled out with broader shoulders, more muscles, and his jawline had a more masculine edge. I looked away.

  Things had been going well with Law, and I was looking forward to introducing him to the girls soon. Though the fact that he had put it off and always had a reason not to meet them worried me.

  Night had fallen, and a warm breeze sailed through the space. It was a nice night to eat outdoors.

  Jared joined me at the table.

  “I gotta admit,” I started, “I’m a little nervous about why you asked me here to discuss the girls’ living arrangements. You said you wouldn’t try and take them away.”

  “I’m not, Maddie,” he said in a reassuring tone. “I’ve no intention of that. I want what’s best for you and the girls. I asked you here because I have something for you, but I want you to hear me out before you make a decision.”

  “Okay?”

  He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and dug something out of it. He slid it across the table in front of me. When his hand pulled back, I was looking at a brass key.

  “I bought a house, and I want you and the girls to live there.”

  I started to protest, and he held up a hand to stop me.

  “Hear me out. I asked you to meet me here because we can walk to it from here. If you’re interested, we can head over there after we eat. The best thing about it—it has a garage apartment that I can stay in. I can be close by, but you get to have your own place. I’ve checked out the schools and they’re really good. Highest rated in the state.”

  “So, you’ll be living there, too?”

  “In an apartment above the garage. It’s detached, so we wouldn’t be living together. Just neighbors. I want to get to know them, Maddie. The only thing I ask is to keep the music room in the house. I can’t fit the piano in the apartment. But that’ll give me a good place to spend time with them when I come to the house. I can start teaching them whatever instrument they like.”

  My heart ached with the thought of him teaching the girls his love of music. They’d love that.

  “I want to check it out,” I said.

  His smile grew.

  “I’m not saying yes, yet. I’m gonna need more than a few minutes to think it over, but I’m curious.”

  Our names were called then, and we ate in relative silence. Only music from one of the food trucks filled the space under the park’s canopy. When I finished, he held out his hand for my trash, and I let him take it.

  “You ready?”

  “Actually, you want to split a cupcake? I love those cupcakes from the truck over there, but they’re huge, and I can never finish one by myself.”

  “You know what you want?”

  “Yep. Red velvet.” My mouth watered at the thought.

  “Stay,” he said when I started to get up. “I can get this.” He smiled and went to the cupcake truck.

  I followed anyway. “You don’t have to do that. This isn’t a date, you know.”

  His eyes shadowed. “I know that, Maddie. I got a job today, and I wanted to celebrate anyway. So really, I’m just letting you eat half of my celebration cupcake.” He grinned.

  “You got a job?”

  “Yeah, it’s nothing big. I got a teaching position over at the Austin School of Music.”

  “That’s awesome,” I said, genuinely happy for him. I knew how much his music meant to him.

  “I’ll be working a lot of evenings and weekends, since it’s mostly after-school tutoring and weekend classes. If you get a day job, then we’ll hardly see each other.” He smiled sadly.

  “I’m not sure what I’m going to do after graduation. I should’ve figured it out by now. I just haven’t had time to stop and think about it.”

  “What kind of degree are you getting?” he asked as he took the cupcake from the food truck window. We walked leisurely as he pulled it apart and gave me half.

  “I forgot, I never told you. I double majored in music theory and general Business. I thought by now I’d’ve had a clue about what I wanted to do. I went into it thinking that I’d just work in the music industry in some capacity. I’m still there to be quite honest, no fucking clue.”

  “Well, now that you’ve been around it some, what do you like the most?”

  “Honestly, I think it’s that moment when Spencer comes up with a new song. He’s the other guitarist in my band. Anyway, Spencer plays it for me, and I can always hear how to make it better. Notes to add or change, tempo tweaks. I’m not that good at writing from scratch, but give me a jumping-off point and I can work my magic.”

  “Have you thought about producing? You could apply to a few recording studios around. See if they have an opening, maybe as an intern.”

  “I never thought of that.” I smiled and nudged his shoulder with mine. “Hey, look at that. You’re not useless after all.”

  He smiled back, and I had to look away.

  I finally took in my surroundings and realized that we were far enough away from Barton Creek Drive that I couldn’t hear the traffic any longer. We were completely surrounded by residential houses in one of Austin’s older neighborhoods near Zilker Park. The houses here were spaced far apart with large green yards. It was peaceful.

  Jared turned up the circle driveway of a large two-story brick house. A wide front porch flanked with white columns sat in the middle of the facade, kissing the edge of the herringbone brick-paver drive. I noticed his truck parked in front of the detached garage.

  My feet halted, and my jaw dropped. Jared took a couple of steps farther before he noticed I was no longer next to him. He turned to me.

  “How in the world did you afford this?” I asked.

  “I’ve been doing tutoring on different musical instruments since freshman year of high school, never spent any of it. Then, you know, the Army pay with dependents that never got spent. I invested it with my dad’s help. I had a good amount of money saved up. Enough to buy it outright so we can afford the bills. Well, I can. I don’t expect you to pay anything. Just stay here with the girls so I can be near them.” He ran his hand over his short hair. “Do you not like it?”

  “No. I like it. I never imagined I’d ever live in a place like this. What about school? What if you decide to go to school? You can’t tie all your money up in this.”

  “School’s paid for if I decide to go. I get the GI Bill.”

  “Oh, right.”

  “You want to come inside? Check it out?”

  “Yeah, sure,” I said absently.

  I followed him up the driveway and looked at the neglected landscaping that made up the front yard. This house would be spectacular with a little work. We walked up the path to the front porch. There was paint peeling up on some parts of the house, but nothing too bad.

  He unlocked the door, and we stepped inside the eerily silent house. I found myself standing in a marble-tiled foyer that had an inlaid design like they had in old art deco films. There was no furniture, so our footsteps echoed on the w
alls that surrounded the entrance and wide staircase. To the right was a room closed off by glass french doors and to the left was a room separated only by a wide archway.

  “I thought that this would be the music room,” he said, pointing to the room with the archway.

  I nodded and followed him around as he pointed to rooms and told me his plans to tear down walls and update things.

  We also looked at the kitchen, the family room, the dining room, and the master bedroom. Upstairs were five more bedrooms, most with their own bath, except two that were connected with a Jack-and-Jill bathroom. I was in shock. It seemed much bigger on the inside. It needed some repair and updating, but it was still beautiful.

  “Don’t you think six bedrooms is a little much?”

  “I just figured since all our family was back home, you’d want enough space that they could all visit for the holidays. And—” He cut himself off and turned away.

  An awkward silence filled the space between us.

  “Well, I better head back to my car. I’ve another round of finals tomorrow.”

  “Here, let me drive you. It’s not that far, but you won’t have to walk, and I was going out anyway.”

  “Oh.” I wondered where Jared would be going at this time of night. Then I quickly smacked that thought away as none of my fucking business. “Okay, lead the way.”

  We walked out of the house, making sure the lights were off and the place was locked up tight. When we got to his truck, he unlocked and held open my door for me before heading around to the driver’s side.

  “I was wondering if I should sell this old thing and get something more practical. Car seats won’t really work in here.”

  It was such a harmless statement, but it threw me for a loop, reminding me that he was their father and the girls were not mine alone. It was an odd mixture of relief and panic. I made sure my face was neutral as I turned to him and tried to school my voice into nonchalance.

  “They use booster seats now. You don’t have to do that. They’ll be just fine in here.”

  “You’ll think about it? Living here at the house?” His voice was hopeful.

  I wasn’t going to lie—it helped alleviate a ton of pressure I was facing, but it still made me feel uneasy. Not unlike stepping out on a high wire to cross a chasm to the last source of water and food.

  “Of course, but I do need to think about it. There are down sides. What happens if we get in a fight and you kick me out?”

  “That’s not going to happen. It’s your place, Maddie.”

  “No Jared, it’s your house. You’re just letting me live there.”

  He sighed. “If anything happened, and that’s a big if, I’m not going to be a dick and just throw you out. You can move somewhere else anytime you want. There’s no contracts, no requirements.”

  That may have been true, but it required a fair amount of trust to put faith in that scenario. And that was something he and I were fresh out of. I swallowed down the retort, though. I didn’t want to drag this conversation out when I really just needed some time to myself to process everything.

  “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind.”

  Then

  I thought about Jared’s suggestion of the house for days. I’d struggled to keep my mind on my final exams. In the end, it all boiled down to the fact that I had limited options. Jared was also right in the fact that I’d, at best, find an internship, which meant no income. I’d a little money left to struggle through that, but not if I had to pay for a two-bedroom apartment, even in the shitty parts of town. Which would mean two jobs.

  The girls deserved the best their parents could offer, and what he was offering was really good for them. I couldn’t deny them a steady roof over their heads and good schools to attend. Not when all I could give them, on my own, was a crappy apartment and a mom who had to work two jobs to make ends meet.

  Then there were the scary thoughts: Jared could file for custody and take them away if I put them in subpar conditions. I knew he’d said he wouldn’t, but would he have sat by and let them go to low-rated schools and live in dangerous neighborhoods just to appease me?

  Holly and Sloane would’ve been good roommate options for me, but I couldn’t ask them to alter their lives for my kids. I didn’t want to be put in the situation of telling my friends that they couldn’t bring home guys in Holly’s case, or have loud sex with their boyfriend, in Sloane’s case. It would just cause problems.

  With my mind pretty much set, all that was left was to discuss it with Law. I’d no idea how he’d take this, but it couldn’t be that bad. I wasn’t going to be living with Jared.

  I went by Law’s house, but he’d already left for the gym, so I drove over there. I was pulling into the parking lot when I spied him through the open garage door. He was pounding away on a heavy bag, working combos. There was no one else around as I walked into the gym. The only sounds, other than the repetitive thumps of the heavy bag, were from the radio propped on a shelf playing a local station, and the humongous shop fan that kept the place cool.

  I watched Law for a minute before making my presence known. He really was beautiful to watch like this. He had talent, even if he didn’t want it. He was all grace and strength pulled together in a deadly package.

  I walked around to the direction he was facing, and it still took a moment for him to see me past his intense focus.

  When he stopped, he gave me a huge smile and dashed around the bag to sweep me into a sweaty hug.

  I laughed. “Stop. Jesus, you’re gross.”

  “What’s that, Bumpkin?” he asked, wiping his cheek across my face.

  “Yum. You got some in my mouth,” I said dryly, sticking my tongue out.

  “Oh, admit it. That taste wasn’t enough. You want to take me in the back room and lick it all off,” Law said, walking me backward.

  “I’m not sure it’d be about the sweat if I did that. More about what I was licking.”

  His eyes darkened and he picked me up, my legs wrapping around his waist like they had so many times before.

  “God, I love you,” he said as his lips brushed over mine before he intensified the kiss.

  Next thing I knew, he had kicked the door to the storage closet shut. It was dark, but we didn’t need light to find what we knew by heart. My heart raced. I gasped for air as his mouth trailed down my neck.

  “Hmm,” he hummed in my ear. “You taste so sweet.”

  “Won’t your dad think it’s weird we’re back here?”

  “He left to go run errands. We’re the only ones here right now.”

  He pushed me back on a table in the tiny room and started working to get my pants off. He always got worked up after a fight or during an intense workout, but we’d never been together at the gym. His tongue ran down my thighs as he pushed my knees toward my arms.

  “Do you want to tell me why you’re here during the middle of the day?” His mouth descended on my core, and my head hit the wall behind me with a moan.

  “Now? You want me… to form coherent sentences, now?”

  “Ummmhmmm,” he replied, the vibrations caused tingles to race up my spine.

  “Oh, God, Law. I can’t think—” My mind frittered out as my words stumbled. “I came—”

  “You will come,” he mumbled, still working his tongue over my sensitive nub. “When I tell you to.”

  “I came here to tell you that I found a place to—”

  He was working me to the edge as he pushed two fingers into me.

  “Law, I can’t.”

  “Do you want me to stop?” He halted his tongue and fingers.

  I gripped his sweat-soaked hair, shoving his face back between my legs. “Don’t you dare.”

  “Then talk,” he commanded and resumed his work.

  “I found a place to live after graduation.”

  “Ummmmhmmmm?”

  I gripped his hair tighter, the fingers of my other hand curling ov
er the edge of the table. Guys should always talk to your pussy; it makes everything they say more pleasurable.

  “He—uh, he. He bought a house and wants us to live there. Oh.” Pricks of light floated through my vision as my body spasmed, my release rocking through me.

  Before I even came down fully, he flipped me over. Bending me over the table, he entered me roughly. My hands flailed, searching for purchase, and pressed against the wall so I could push back into him.

  He gripped my hair, pulling my head back. His tongue tracing the line of my neck to the shell of my ear.

  “Who’s he?” he whispered.

  His pace was brutal as he began to slam his hips into mine over and over.

  “Don’t—don’t—make me—say—his—name. Not now,” I responded through his punishing rhythm.

  “Mine,” he growled as he bit down on my neck.

  My eyes rolled up in the back of my head as a violent orgasm rocked through my whole body. I jerked and convulsed before my body collapsed, unable to move. He slowed his pace, dragging in and out so slowly that every nerve ending inside me fired off in slow succession. My breath stolen.

  He gently pulled my hands from the wall and folded them together behind my back, gripped in one of his hands. His other hand brushed over my sensitive clit.

  A low, shaky moan erupted from me as my body involuntarily twitched from the contact.

  “Why am I supposed to be okay with my girlfriend living with her ex?”

  “He’s not living there. Well, not in the house. There’s a garage apartment. He just wants to be close to the girls.” My voice sounded husky.

  “And if I say I don’t like it?”

  “It’s a—it’s a good opportunity,” I stuttered as he pulled out and flipped me back over, setting me back on the table and lining himself up to push in again.

  He held the back of my neck, bracing my upper body with his forearm. His other hand pushed the hair out of my face as he looked at me. He entered me slowly, filling me up.

  It took all my effort to keep my eyes trained on his as he pinned me with his gaze. He trailed his fingertips down my cheek and my neck, stopping just over my heart.