Before I Knew (The Cabots #1)

by Jamie Beck

  “It’s not like you and Hunter had rough lives,” he griped.

  “No, but our family broke apart. And we didn’t grow up in the McMansion with the pool and endless shopping sprees and a car at sixteen and . . .” Something in her periphery caught her attention. “Can we talk about this later, please? I need to pay attention to what’s going on.”

  “Of course.” He patted her shoulder and returned to his table.

  While she milled around the tables to observe and eavesdrop, Todd grabbed her hand.

  “Sit with us.” He gestured toward the open chair at their table.

  “I can’t. I’m sorry.”

  “Come on . . . a few minutes.” His earnest grin, and the fact her friends had come out of their way for her, broke her down.

  She glanced at them all, noting the remnants of Pan-Roasted Lobster with Stuffed Zucchini Flower and Tangy Persian Lime Sauce on Todd’s plate. Her mouth watered because she’d enjoyed taste testing that one yesterday. “How’s everything so far?”

  “The food’s almost as good as that view.” Todd pointed through the open glass doors to where the sun was setting over the lake. “We’re all a little jealous you get to spend your days looking at that lake.”

  “I’d miss the energy of the city.” Jacqui sipped her wine. “But this is a great little getaway.”

  “Come whenever you need to escape Warren Blackstone,” Colby joked, thinking about the firm’s curmudgeonly managing partner.

  “You’d better expect me on a regular basis,” Todd rejoined with laughter. His wistful glance, however, suggested he’d intended the double meaning of his words. Colby hoped their friendship didn’t suffer because she didn’t return his interest.

  By the time she excused herself from her friends, most of the other tables had been cleared of the first course. Too late for her to determine whether the other guests had devoured their meals, like her friends had, or simply moved food around their plates.

  She did, however, discern the fluidity in the way the waitstaff continued working the room. Gentry now wandered around, snapping candid photos. Guests were chatting and laughing. The upbeat energy took root somewhere in her chest and revved her.

  That fizzy lightness lasted until her mother charged toward her—expression panicked—like a steaming locomotive about to hit broken railroad ties. “Colby, did you remember to tell Hunter about Snickers?”

  “Yes, and I told Sara as well.” Good grief. This? Now?

  “Richard mentioned him, and Hunter forgot to play along. He tried to cover his mistake, but I’m not sure Richard buys it.”

  Colby glanced at Hunter, who speared her with bug eyes. Thankfully, Sara kept Richard distracted with bubbly conversation.

  “I told you not to lie,” Colby murmured, “Just come clean tonight.”

  “Then he’ll never trust me.” Her mom toyed with her necklace.

  “Exactly why you shouldn’t lie in the first place.”

  “Don’t lecture” came her harsh whisper. “I need your help.”

  “I’m kind of busy, Mom. The main course is about to be served. Here’s my best advice: get back there before Hunter does more damage.”

  Her mother’s eyes widened before she dashed back to her table.

  As the main courses began to arrive, Colby decided to check on Alec. She popped into the kitchen and froze. Cooks frantically assembled each dish. Alec barked out orders and, alongside Chris, inspected and wiped every plate before it left the kitchen. Flames shot up from the stove, clatter erupted from the dishwashing station, waiters whirred past. Heat, noise, chaos.

  The heart of the restaurant, and Alec made it beat like that of an Olympic athlete.

  Another satisfied jolt stole through her. This was hers—or it would be once she paid off CTC’s investment. With Alec at the helm, they couldn’t fail. As if hearing her thoughts, he looked up.

  “What?” Alec spared her the briefest glance before fixing his attention on the next plate set in front of him.

  “I . . . I just came to check in.”

  His brows knit together as he adjusted something on the dish. “We’re fine, but I need to focus.”

  “Sorry.” She backed out of the kitchen in time to hear Jake’s voice rise above the din of conversation.

  “At least people know what they’re eating when they buy my hot dogs.” Jake poked his fork at the pork croquette on his plate. It occurred to Colby that Jake would be the type to show up for a happy-hour deal, but not necessarily stay to eat. Maybe Alec had been right about her idea.

  Colby hustled to their table in time to hear Jenna’s cool reply. “Eating with silverware must be a real change of pace.”

  Jake shot up—his chair screeching against the wood floor—drawing everyone’s attention. “Bunch of snobs, praising bullshit food that people pretend to like, but everyone goes home hungry.”

  Colby glanced over her shoulder and saw Mrs. Morgan’s cheeks turn red. Another black mark against the Cabot family in the Morgans’ book.

  “Please sit down,” Colby implored. “If there’s a problem, may we discuss it privately?”

  “No problem. I’m outta here.” Jake tossed his napkin on the chair and squinted at Gentry. “You comin’?”

  “You’re making a scene.” Gentry kept calm, but Colby wanted to strangle the jerk.

  “That’s on them.” Jake pointed at her dad and Jenna, then stormed toward the front door.

  “See what you did?” Gentry sighed, almost as if she enjoyed the fiasco.

  “Let him go.” Jenna sipped her wine. “He’s beneath you.”

  “You are a snob,” Gentry sniped. Offering Colby an apologetic look before taking off after Jake, she said, “Sorry.”

  Painfully aware of the eyes watching them, Colby fixed a calm grin in place. Not that she wanted to regress to a life of brave faces, but the skill she’d acquired during her marriage did come in handy in a crisis.

  “Sorry, honey,” her dad muttered as she turned away to salvage the scene that had distracted everyone.

  That’s when she noticed a victorious light in her mother’s eyes. Rarely did Jenna fail at anything, so Colby’s mom delighted in being present when she did. Despite her mom’s gloating, Colby loved Gentry and her dad and couldn’t shake the sinking feeling that her sister’s current path would lead somewhere terrible. After living through Joe’s and Mark’s deaths, she would’ve thought her family might stop taking one another for granted.

  Tonight they’d pulled her attention from watching for people’s reactions to dinner. Had Jake’s response been the anomaly?

  Focus. Dessert. Dessert was next. For the first time in forever, she thought she might prefer a stiff drink to the Grilled Pistachio and Chocolate Mille-Feuille she knew would be coming.

  Determined not to get distracted again, Colby meandered around the tables and paid attention, as Alec had asked. By the time the dessert dishes were being cleared, Colby’s back and feet ached. If she was this wiped out, how could Alec keep upright?

  His methods weren’t her favorite, but he’d pulled it off. With the exception of Jake’s tantrum, the night had been amazing. Alec had brought her one step closer to success. He might not seek the spotlight tonight, but he deserved it.

  Crossing to the back of the house, she found him watching the plates as they came into the kitchen on the bus trays.

  “Come take a bow.” She smiled because he looked like a marathoner who’d just crossed the finish line.

  Following a brief hesitation, he nodded. When they entered the dining room, Hunter stood and clapped, which led to a round of applause from the rest of the guests.

  He blushed and winked at his mom before bowing his head. Seeing him flushed yet proud might’ve been Colby’s favorite part of the night.

  “Thank you for being our test crowd.” He walked to the center of the dining room, smiling. “My goal is for the service and meals to rival this beautiful space, so please be sure to pass along any complaints. Yo
ur feedback will be appreciated. Have a good night and a safe drive home.” He waved briefly and, turning slightly to her, murmured, “Let’s talk once everyone’s gone?”

  “Okay.”

  He promptly returned to the kitchen.

  Colby ignored her throbbing feet and made one last round to each table to offer her personal thanks as well.

  On his way out, Todd quietly asked, “Have you given any more thought to Thai?”

  Although flattered, she wished he’d stop asking. She couldn’t make herself feel more for her friend than she did, despite him being capable of offering the open, respectful relationship she needed after dealing with Mark. “I’m sorry. I adore you and our friendship. I’m just not looking for more. But I’d love to grab lunch soon.”

  Todd’s disappointed sigh preceded a nod. “Anytime.”

  She kissed his cheek and sent him home, certain she’d made the right decision.

  After the final guests had left and the waitstaff and kitchen help were nearly finished cleaning up, Colby ducked into her office to shut things down. She removed her shoes and rubbed her throbbing feet. She moaned just as Alec walked in holding two glasses of champagne.

  He set one beside her, unbuttoned his chef coat, and slumped into a chair. “I dismissed the staff. Long—but good—night. Cheers.”

  The unbuttoned collar gave her a perfect view of his throat working to swallow the champagne. He had an elegant, strong neck. Everything about him seemed so deliciously masculine lately. Instead of the infatuation filling her with hope, it made her sad. What if, after all this time, the one person she might be able to fall for was the least suitable person of all?

  “I’m shocked you can keep your eyes open, especially after last night’s late-night cat rescue and coffee klatch.”

  Another rosy blush colored his cheeks. “I’ve always liked your mom.”

  “Someday I’d like to hear about the commune. Of course, whatever you told her has convinced her that those are her people, so maybe I’ll see it for myself when forced to visit.” Colby sipped her champagne, shoved her feet back into her shoes, and sat against the edge of her desk. “So, are you satisfied with the cooks?”

  “I’m never satisfied. But we can build on this.” He leaned forward then, elbows on his knees, eyes alert. “Tell me what went wrong in the front of the house.”

  Oh God. He’d performed his role to perfection, while she’d basically failed to do the one thing he’d asked. She braced for one of his spectacular temper tantrums.

  “For the most part, people seemed pleased with everything.” She smiled, hoping he wouldn’t push.

  “I noticed one untouched pork croquette. And the Grey Mullet with Pickled Mushrooms didn’t look like a favorite.” He frowned. “Did I miss anything?”

  “The pork dish was Gentry’s boyfriend, who never tried it because he stormed off after he and Jenna got into an argument.”

  “Oh, well, that’s good.” Alec smiled.

  “Good?”

  “If he tasted it and didn’t like it, that would concern me. But if he didn’t even eat it, then I’m going to stick with it. The others who ordered it cleaned their plates.” He nodded. “What else?”

  Here goes nothing. “I got sidetracked by a variety of family quarrels.” She chewed her lip. “I’m sorry. I know you were counting on me for better information.”

  He stared at her, his face impassive except for a tic of his jaw. She waited, nerves sparking painfully beneath her skin like they had anytime she suspected Mark might erupt.

  Alec slouched deeper in his chair and stroked its arms. “It’s okay.”

  It was?

  “Are you going easy on me because I’m your boss?” She crossed her arms.

  “I knew it’d be hard for you to focus when family and friends were vying for your attention. You’ll get better.”

  She’d expected him to bellow—had imagined his brow furrowing and his face turning as crimson as the lava that spewed out whenever he thought his reputation was at stake.

  Instead, he swigged the last bit of champagne, set down his glass, and stood. When he reached beside her to the photo she’d given him earlier, his nearness made her body temperature spike. She reminded herself this was only Alec, but somewhere along the way, Alec had come to mean much more than she’d ever anticipated.

  “Besides, I’d never scream at you, Colby. If anything, I’ve been trying to make you laugh more.” He grinned. “Have the videos helped?”

  “Nightly YouTube links to babies sucking on lemons and ‘Bat Dad’ are a step up from your grade-school jokes,” she conceded, trying to suppress a broadening smile.

  “My favorite was the little boy running from his shadow.” His expression turned more contemplative as he held up the framed picture she’d given him. “You’ve always wanted to comfort others and see them happy. I just want that same thing for you.”

  “Oh?” Part of her wanted to back up so he wouldn’t see the way her heart was pounding in her throat. But even if she wanted to, she couldn’t. The desk was at her butt. He looked at her with such intensity she couldn’t tear her gaze away. The sizzle of his attention traveled through her limbs and to her core. She hadn’t experienced this full-body buzz in ages.

  She froze, waiting. Waiting for what, she couldn’t say. Every time she thought she had him figured out, he surprised her. Now she almost wished he’d flown into a rage so she’d remember why she shouldn’t look at him this way. Why this desire consuming her was unwelcome and dangerous.

  He cocked his head, as if sensing her interest. How could he not when her body throbbed with it?

  Alec didn’t move. Like her, he seemed to be waiting—that or toying with her. Had Alec Morgan become a master of seduction when she wasn’t looking? The anticipation of his touch stoked her hunger, even as she believed inviting it could well be a huge mistake.

  Slowly he set the picture back on the desk and inched a little closer.

  His hip now leaned against the edge of the desk so that their shoulders nearly touched. He didn’t even need to make contact for her insides to quiver, and yet her eyes remained locked on his.

  Spellbound. Deliciously, dangerously magnetized.

  “The only real question now is whether or not you’re happy.” He nudged even closer. “Was the evening everything you hoped for?”

  “It was.”

  It had been. The night had passed in a flurry of conversation, twinkling candles, beautiful views, and even prettier plates. The tinkling sounds of china and crystal had sounded as lovely as any quartet she’d ever heard. And most important, everyone but her dad and Jenna had left smiling. It was exactly the environment she’d envisioned, and she owed its success largely to her perplexing chef.

  “I’m glad.” He fingered the fresh roses on her desk and frowned, softly muttering, “You prefer tulips.”

  “I do.” How did he know?

  “From your dad?”

  She shook her head. “Todd.”

  “Ah. He’s persistent . . . and thoughtful.” Alec dropped his chin, his gaze now on the floor, but really someplace distant.

  She took advantage of the opportunity to study his strong profile. The sensual shape of his lips. The sharp line of his jaw. If she had a soft heart, she believed his to be softer, no matter how loudly he might yell. Even now, she knew he restrained himself for her sake. “Alec.”

  It came out as a whisper, lying between them, unplanned. Gentle. A question. A sense of wonder at the surprising, powerful curiosity surging beneath her skin.

  He snapped his gaze back to her, and, without thought, she craned her head toward his. Her hand landed on his chest, where it felt perfectly at home. “I’m not interested in Todd.”

  His breath caught, or was that hers? Their lips were a hair’s breadth apart now, heated breath mingling. His heart beat against her palm, while hers knocked urgently against her ribs. She didn’t have time to analyze more because he cradled her jaw and kissed her.

/>   Warm yet tentative, like he didn’t quite believe she wanted it. She did, so she gathered the open collar of his jacket in her fists. Her simple gesture had been enough of a signal. In an instant, hesitation fled, replaced by a firestorm of heat, of deep kisses, of fingers raking through her hair. Strong, confident sweeps of his tongue scattered any lingering doubts. Goose bumps fanned over her scalp, chased by tingles that drove through her limbs and pooled in her core.

  He tasted like champagne and something earthy. The aroma of fresh herbs and spice wafted around them. Her body trembled until his arms closed around her with assuredness and strength, tugging her snugly against his chest, where she felt a vibrating hum.

  She dug her fingers into his hair, holding tightly for fear of falling over if she let go. Alec’s hands swept down her back as he settled himself between her legs, dragging her hips to meet his. Right to where she could feel exactly how much he wanted her. A whimper stuck in her throat as tiny prickles skittered along her nerve endings.

  His rough hands were on her thighs, inching her skirt up. He shuddered, then his mouth found the little spot behind her ear, which made her body respond in kind. The glorious sensation swept through her ferociously, making her tingly and restless.

  Her legs—her whole body—went limp from the onslaught of pleasure and surprise. Of lust. Of desire she hadn’t felt for anyone for years. To want and be wanted. To give and to take. To meld an emotional connection that had spanned decades with a shiny, unexpected physical one. Only this man could satisfy that need. The reawakening of this part of her soul caught in her chest.

  Alec growled her name and unzipped the back of her dress, his hands and mouth more commanding, more demanding. He pulled at her dress to expose her shoulder, which he then kissed and nibbled.

  Her body welcomed his hot assault after two years of celibacy. Longer, even, because her sex life with Mark had tapered off significantly before Joe’s accident.

  Mark. Joe. A tsunami of unwelcome emotions quickly laced her pleasure, the ring on her finger suddenly warm and heavy. Things with Mark had started off hot, too. She’d thought him the answer to all her dreams, until life with him became a nightmare. What if Alec was another mirage like Mark? Alec wasn’t uncomplicated. He had layers of difficult history and a father who hated her.