“I think I’m in love with you, Star.” I said instead, watching the play of emotions in her gorgeous chartreuse eyes—shock, relief, sadness, love. “At least I think I am. I can’t be sure since I’ve never felt any of this before.” I swallowed, but I wasn’t nervous. This felt right. She felt perfect. “I’ve never spent so much time with a woman, never experienced this kind of intimacy, or opened myself up like this to anyone other than you. Only for you.”
Her lips suddenly curved into a smile and she leaned in, closing her lips over mine, and kissing me so deeply, that for the first time. She truly stole my breath away. My body responded to her instantly. The kiss we shared was unlike anything I had ever felt with her. Yes, I was in love with Gaby. Forbidding myself from thinking about anything else except the woman in my arms, I turned our bodies so that I lay on top of her, and pressed every inch of my hardened form against hers. She whimpered in my mouth as she felt me over her and my arms brought her even closer to me, her breasts flushed against my chest. Her nipples grazed my skin, while the kiss grew more and more intense with each second.
Gaby pulled away, panting, and regarded me. Her dazzling eyes sparkled and I grinned. I loved when she looked at me this way. “My Star…” I brushed my lips against hers, intent on kissing the life out of her, but she pulled away to gaze at me once more.
“I want to go with you, Ash. When you leave… please take me with you.”
My world came tumbling down with her words. No matter how much I wanted her, regardless of how much I loved her, or that she was the only one to even show me what love could feel like, I couldn’t be with her. I was magically tied to my fated. “I’m sorry, Star. It rips me to say this, but I can’t.”
Tears welled in her eyes as she processed my words and I wanted to hit myself for hurting her like this. “Please,” she begged, although I could tell it was no easy feat for her. “If you love me, then don’t leave me here without you. Don’t leave me alone again.”
Gaby’s lips trembled and every part of me shattered. My soul shattered. “You don’t understand. There is nothing I want more than to be with you, but I’m destined for another. The moment I go back, I’ll have to marry her, no matter how much I want to be with you.”
Her brows gather as tears spilled from her lashes. “Like an arranged marriage?” I nodded. She remained quiet, as she looked at me. Broken.
“I’m so sorry.” I whispered, pressing my forehead to her, the pain ripped through my insides. “I should have told you sooner, but I want you so damn bad. I need you so desperately that I just wanted to pretend like nothing else existed, just you and me.” My eyes stung as I said the words.
“I love you.” She shrugged, as though she had no other choice. “I love you, Ash, and I need you too. Are you still mine? While you are here?”
I leaned back and nodded, our gazes connected. My jaw clenched while my eyes became clouded by the feelings threatening to spill from them. “Even when I’m gone, I’ll still be yours, Star. You awoke my heart. It belongs only to you.”
“Then make love to me, Ash. Make me yours while I still have you.”
The last few words mixed with a sob and I captured it, as my lips crashed against hers. Emotion spilled from my eyes, wetting my cheeks as I kissed her with all the passion I had reserved for her. With all the want only she had brought out of me, with a need that felt all-encompassing and all consuming.
My hands began to caress her body while my lips kissed their way down her neck. “I love you,” I whispered in her ear, suddenly compelled to tell her as many times as I could, to heal the hurt I had caused her. I wasn’t really sure that saying I love you would be enough, but it was all I had to offer her.
A moan ripped from her lips while my hand massaged her breast. The sweet sound made goose bumps erupt over my skin, sending a surge of desire through me. My lips found their way to her chest and I took a moment to closely admire her breasts. They were just as I remembered, round and luscious, not too big or too small, just perfect for me. Gaby was perfect for me. She was absolutely gorgeous. I looked at her nipples and a smile curved my lips. They were big, and a blushed pink hue, perfectly complimenting the tanned tones of her skin. They deliciously hardened, responding to my gaze. Her thick tips begged for me to taste them and I obliged. Cupping her breasts, I lifted them to my lips, briefly licking the thick tip and sucking it lightly. Something inside me broke in response.
I sucked the tip harder as Gaby’s moans became more and more intense. Her body began to tremble under me while my lips gently bit, nibbled and sucked every inch of her breasts—switching from one to the other, trying to get as much as I could from her. I couldn’t get enough, and the sounds that escaped from her lips as my teeth grazed the tender skin were driving me wild. Reluctantly, my mouth left her round breasts and continued its way down her striking body. I could smell her desire for me, and it was intoxicating. I needed to see her, feel her, taste her, and slide inside her as soon as possible, or I might go insane.
I placed a soft kiss right under her belly button and her legs slid to either side of me, showing me the true sight of glory. My heated gaze fell on her and I was mesmerized. She was so incredibly stunning. Her skin glistened with her need for me, and a current of desire ran down my spine, making me jerk against the mattress. She was ready, and the sight took my breath away. Leaning in, I licked the delicate skin of her inner thigh, and nuzzled my way to the center of her. The moan that escaped her physically pained me. I needed her. Fuck, I needed her so badly, but I wanted her to come apart for me much more.
Gaby’s hips lifted of the bed, inviting me closer. I kissed her inner thighs again, sucking lightly on each side, and her breathy, desperate moans began to dance around me. It was as though she was begging me to taste her. I wasn’t strong enough to resist her any longer. I gave in to her silent plea, licking her along the center of her delicate skin for the first time. Her thighs began to tremble against the bed. I had barely touched her and she was already near the edge. I loved how Gaby responded to me. Nibbling every inch of her sensitive skin, I savored her and jerked once again. Damn it. Gaby’s body was the most exquisite thing I had ever tasted. I couldn’t imagine anything on this realm or mine that could be as delicious as her. I began to nibble again, and a strangled moaned left her as her back arched.
Her hands flew to my shoulders, gripping me in place as my lips moved lightly on her, reaching the most sensitive part of her center, I sucked deeply and the next second, her head tilted back as the wave of undiluted pleasure ripped through her. Her desperate moans filled the room and she seemed to gasp for air as she came apart for me. Her body shook under my lips, while Gaby fell off the edge and into a glorious abyss. I didn’t stop. My lips continued to move on her, and I drank from her body the sweetest nectar I had ever tasted. Every drop.
Her breaths were frantic, although I could tell she was trying to calm, her body still trembled as the wave of pleasure rolled over and over through her. I couldn’t let her calm down; this was exactly how I wanted her. I nibbled Gaby’s tender skin, gently tugging at it with my teeth and she moaned once again for me. Damn it. I loved her moans. They had been well worth the wait. She was worth the wait.
A grin slowly stretched my lips, I was pleased by the way her body reacted to me, to my caresses and intimate kisses, and finally pulled myself up, claiming her full lips hungrily. I shifted my body, placing my hips directly on her center as I continued to devour her, my hardened body pressed against her now extra sensitive skin, and she moaned into my lips. I swallowed her moan and began to rock my hips over hers as her legs wrapped around me. I glided effortlessly over her slick skin, feeling the pleasure overwhelm every part of me. I wanted her to fall apart for me again, moan my name before I allowed myself to bask in the feeling of being inside her.
My hips continued to move, pushing Gaby closer to the edge once more, feeling every inch of me caress her. My heart began to thunder in my chest, my pulse raced out of control and my
breathing, just like hers, accelerated to the point that we were both panting. What was happening to me? I usually had much more control than this. A surge of what felt like pure electricity rushed over my spine making me jerk against her. I was losing control. I couldn’t become undone for her without even being inside her.
Keep your shit together, Ash! This is not your first time.
I scolded myself, rocking my hips faster against her. The way her softness rubbed against me was going to break me. I was sure of it. A wave of heat suddenly flushed my skin and it was then I realized I was trembling. I gripped the sheets on either side of her, trying to contain myself as she fell apart in my arms again. My name escaped Gaby’s lips when her perfect moans became almost screams; the ecstasy tearing through her. But something was happening to me.
I forced my eyes open while her body shook beneath mine, and horror of the purest kind filled me. Claws were protruding from my fingers. Animal claws. My skin shimmered, changing colors and textures before my eyes, and I felt my body begin to grow, losing its human form. Panic gripped me and I bolted out of the bed, slamming the door of the bathroom behind me. I locked myself in. I stared at my reflection in the mirror, willing my body to change back, but I had lost all control of my ability.
What the hell was happening to me?
My horror-stricken eyes watched as glimpses of everything I had ever transformed into appeared before me. I shook from my core, unable to hold back. In the back of my mind I was grateful that I was in the last floor of the building, and I had exceedingly high ceilings or my head would have probably gone through the roof.
“Ash, are you okay? What happened?”
Gaby’s voice made the anxiety explode out of me. My heart was going to burst out of my chest at any moment if I didn’t manage to calm down. Shutting my eyes tightly, I forced myself to breathe.
“Ash?”
I didn’t answer her, I couldn’t.
Minutes passed, although I didn’t know how many, while Gaby stood just outside the door hiding the monster. I fisted my hands, feeling the claws slice through my palms and pressed my back to the wall. Every muscle in my body tensed violently, trying to contain the shifting, and I began to take large gulps of air, until I felt myself stop shaking. My pulse slowed down, my heartbeat became somewhat normal for me, but the panic was still there, right under my skin.
“Ash… please. Tell me what happened.”
I could hear the tears and fear in Gaby’s voice, and I hated myself for causing her this pain, but I couldn’t let her see me like this. My lids lifted and I cursed. I had managed to calm somewhat, but I had lost the hold on my power—something that had never happened to me before, in my five thousand years of life. The seven-foot tall Fae version of me stared back through my reflection—glowing royal markings and all. I had transformed into my true self, and no matter what I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to change back.
My back slid down the wall when all strength left me, and I crumbled like the empty vessel that I truly was. I wasn’t even allowed this time with her, with my Star, no matter that it was the only moment I would ever truly have her. “I’m sorry, Star. It was nothing you did. You are perfect, you hear me? Absolutely perfect. It’s me, I just… I can’t explain, and I can’t come out. Go to bed and get some sleep, it should all be okay by the morning.”
Gaby didn’t leave. Instead, I heard her sit on the floor, on the other side of the door, and rest her head against it while she cried… ripping every inch of my heart apart.
*
It had been well over an hour and I was still full Fae, hiding from the woman I loved. Gaby hadn’t spoken a word in all this time, just cried. I sat on the cold tile, my elbows on my knees while I gripped my hair to keep from going crazy. I was doing this to her. I couldn’t open the door, I couldn’t hold her, and I had no idea what was going through her mind. Did she think I regretted doing what I did? That I didn’t like being with her that way? Damn it. It wasn’t worth it. I couldn’t take this any more.
“Please don’t cry, Star. I love you like I wasn’t even sure was possible. I’m sorry for hurting you. I swear it has nothing to do with you. I just… can’t come out.”
“Why?” she sobbed. “What happened, Ash? Please tell me the truth. Does this have something to do with what you’ve been hiding from me?”
I let out a ragged breath and rested my head against the wall behind me. “Yes.”
“Then just tell me. I’ll try to understand, no matter what it is. Just please tell me…”
“I’m impotent.”
Gaby laughed in between the sobs. It was only for a second, yet relief washed over me. It was short lived.
“You said you’d never lie to me, Ash. It’s time you stop dancing around it, and tell me the whole truth.”
My chest tightened. “You won’t understand.”
“Maybe not, but I’ll try my best to do so, I swear. I love you, Ash. Please trust me like I trust you. Just let me in…”
Taking a deep breath, I stood and stepped in front of the large mirror, which now reached the middle of my chest. I was forced to bend down to gaze at myself into the mercury treated glass. My iced blue eyes seemed even more brilliant under the black royal markings that adorned my forehead, glimpses of blue glimmered over them every few seconds. The tattoo under my right eye was back in full form, a stark contrast to my now paler skin, my pointed ears stood to their full glory, and crimson blood droplets slid down my palms, staining my skin.
I pressed my forehead to the door as dread and fear rushed through me. “Please don’t be frightened by me, Star. I love you.” I heard her heartbeat pick up, through my heightened hearing, the second my words reached her ears. My heart sunk. I had no other choice. I needed to trust her. My hand slowly reached for the knob and turned it, pulling the door open, and stepped out.
The moment Gaby’s gaze reached me a deafening gasp escaped her. My heart tore as terror filled her sparkling chartreuse eyes, and she staggered backwards, falling onto the soft-carpeted floor.
Chapter 9. Goodbye
GABRIELLA
*
“Please don’t be frightened by me, Star. I love you…”
The muffled words Ash shared through the door echoed in my mind, while my heart slammed against my chest, almost bursting out of it. My hand trembled, still gripping the sheet I had haphazardly wrapped around my body, after Ash frantically ran out of bed, leaving me there, without the warmth of his body.
Small gasps escaped my lips while my ass hit the floor. My mind still hadn’t found a reason behind his behavior, let alone the image of him that my eyes had sent to my brain. I blinked, trying to process what I was seeing. A man stood bare before me, but he didn’t seem human. The fact that he was a whopping seven feet tall, and had been forced to duck before crossing the doorway was the least of his oddities. He seemed as tall as Shaquille O’Neal, except I feared he might slightly be taller, and his body was pure, lean, ripped muscle. I doubted there was an ounce of fat in there. His arms were longer than that of a human, so were his legs, yet still perfectly proportioned for his large form. He had a broad back, bulky chest and shoulders, and the perfectly defined, eight pack of abs I had come to expect when I looked at Ash naked. But how could this be? How was this being, my Ash?
Fear coursed through me while my body still shook. My eyes widened, roaming every inch of him, and taking it all in. My gaze made its way back to his face, and I blinked. Strange, black tattoos framed his forehead. Maybe they weren’t really tats since they appeared to slightly rise from his skin, but I couldn’t be sure. Another startled gasp escaped my lips, when I saw the pointed ears that protruded from the sides of his head. A smaller, black symbol rested right under his right eye, harshly offsetting his extremely white skin. He resembled Ash but it wasn’t him… could it be him?
Why was this happening? How was this happening?
My heart once again crashed against my ribcage, and I swallowed, shutting my eyes tightly. T
his was a nightmare; it had to be a nightmare. Maybe I had passed out from the intensity of everything Ash made me experience, and I was having a bad dream. Yes that had to be it. Wake up, Gaby. Wake up! Please, Ash, come back… I forced myself to take a settling breath, and opened my eyes again. When I did, the man was kneeling in front of me. The sight startled me, and I scooted away from him again. Even on his knees, I had to strain my neck to look into his eyes. His eyes. The ice blue eyes stared back at me, raw pain filling them at my reaction to him.
“Please don’t be frightened by me, Star. I love you…”
Ash’s words returned, and I leaned closer. I knew those eyes. They were the same ones I had fallen in love with, the ones that had looked at me with love so many times, with desire, with pain… I knew that pain. “Ash?”
“Yes, Star. It’s me. It’s still me.” He barely whispered, still rooted in place, and I realized that there was also fear coursing through him.
My trembling hand let go of the sheet it had anxiously clung to, and reached for him. I moved closer, his eyes not leaving mine for a second as I stood. When my hand cupped his cheek, a tremor ran through him and his eyes slitted, like a lizard’s. I wrenched my hand back, startled, and he cursed, shutting his eyes fiercely. I swallowed, and stepped closer again.
“It’s okay.” I whispered, while my heart threatened to burst out of my chest. My throat was dry, and I was pretty sure I was hyperventilating, but I wanted to see his eyes again. I needed to see my Ash’s eyes. “Please, look at me.”
He shook his head as though chiding himself, but indulged me. When my gaze connected with his troubled one once again, they were the same eyes I adored. An ice blue tone, so light it seemed to glow. I cupped his cheek with both hands this time, and he noticeably swallowed as hope began to filter through his pain. The man in front of me was scared and vulnerable in my hands, and I never wanted to see him like that again. Ash gave into my touch, leaning closer, and I felt the fear in me disintegrate as wonder replaced it. His kneeled form was almost my size as I stood in front of him. I was about five foot five—maybe five foot seven in heels—and I was almost looking at him eye to eye.
Broken Kingdom (The Winter Court Chronicles Book 2) Page 17