Out of the Ashes (Marked as His Book 1)

by Rossi, Monica

  Sandy smiled, “Yup, and it’s all mine.”

  “There is absolutely no reason why you have to leave Sandy, you could stay, get over this silly, and honestly gross, obsession you have with Joker and then…”

  “Oh it’s that easy is it, I just need to get over it huh? Like I haven’t felt this way the entire time I’ve known him. Like this is some new thing that has cropped up because I’m a silly female. Like I haven’t struggled with being miserable and staying with our family. Like watching him bring home some new bimbo night after night doesn’t kill me inside. Right Dax? I should just get over it because it grosses you out, right?”

  “Come on Sandy, you know I didn’t mean it like that.”

  “No, that’s exactly how you meant it. You think I’m being silly and you wish I’d stop, because it’s inconvenient for you.”

  Dax felt a stab of guilt shoot through his chest, she was right, it was inconvenient for him. He wanted his family all together right there with him and she was messing things up. He hadn’t really considered her feelings except to dismiss them because he’d rather not think about them.

  “You know what Dax, you get a pass, because you’ve always thought of me and everyone else first. Except this one time, but I’m dead serious. I’m leaving and I’m happy about it, so you can either be happy for me or just get out my way. Those are your only two options.”

  She’d stood up at some point during her speech and as soon as the last word was out of her mouth she turned and walked off, slamming the door to her room just to punctuate her leaving.

  Dax ran a hand over his eyes. Well, his day had gone from shine to shit in a matter of moments. Nonetheless, he still had a date to plan, he could patch things up with Sandy after she calmed down some.

  He could see where she was coming from and he understood what he’d done wrong, that was half the battle right there.

  Dax had planned to get some chores done around the house and check to see if Ma needed him to do anything for her when he went over for lunch. That’s what he normally did on his Sundays off.

  But Ma had called and said she wasn’t feeling up to cooking that morning and he didn’t actually have any chores that needed to be done around the house; so, he was left without anything that needed his attention.

  It was a weird feeling, one he didn’t experience often. He liked to stay busy anyway, but usually it wasn’t a choice, it was a necessity. Unexpected free time didn’t pop up that often, so he didn’t have very many filler hobbies to occupy himself.

  So, he found himself left with his own thoughts and those of course went straight to Fern.

  He wasn’t sure why, but no one had ever quite seemed to get under his skin before like she had. Sure, there had been plenty of women before her. When you lived rough like he had, and the women around him had, you take what small measure of happiness you could, when you could.

  He wasn’t even exactly sure when his first time had been. Maybe with one of the older girls in a group home. He’d probably been drunk or high or a combination of the two when he’d lost his virginity. Either way, he didn’t remember it.

  A lot of things in his memory were like that, hazy. He wasn’t sure if he blocked them out on purpose or if he’d just done so much in his time on Earth that his brain just couldn’t contain all the information.

  What he did know, was that he’d never experienced anything like he’d experienced with Fern the night before. Every touch had felt like it reached into his soul, every kiss like a hand grasping at his heart, every time their eyes locked he felt like she had inched her way closer and closer into him, until he wasn’t sure where he started and she began.

  He knew he’d felt a connection with her from the first moment he’d met her, but when he’d entered her body he’d become positive that she was something he wasn’t going to be willing to live without.

  All he had to do was take her on a successful first date.

  The doorbell rang, snapping him out of his reflection. He got up from his reclining position on the couch and checked the peep hole before letting his brother in.

  “Hey,” his youngest brother said as he walked in.

  “Hey, what’s up?” It was rare for Dex to make an appearance at the apartment. Dexter, as much of a loved member of the family he was, was a bit of a loner.

  Out of all of them, he and Dex were the two that could have actually passed for brothers. Both of them were exceptionally tall, both quiet and somewhat reserved, both of a more serious nature and both very committed to the things they loved. It seemed like they’d been cut from the same cloth.

  “Ma isn’t feeling good today, so I didn’t want to bother her too much. Thought I’d come over here and hang out. Where’s everyone else?”

  “Sandy is in her room pouting because I’m a jackass and Joker is probably asleep with a stripper in the back seat of his car.”

  Dex nodded, no surprises there. “Did you call Joker and let him know not to go to Ma’s. She’s got some kind of nasty flu, the last thing she needs is his drunk ass banging around the place.”

  “I called and left him a message, hopefully he’ll check them.”

  “Yeah,” Dex agreed, sitting on the couch and reaching for the remote.

  “You think Ma needs anything? I can run her some lunch over. Maybe she’d like some miso soup or something.”

  “Nah, I already ran to the store for her. She’s got the lotion tissues, Dayquil, chicken noodle soup, Sprite, and Vick’s vapor rub.”

  Dax was impressed, it seemed like Dex had covered all the bases, “She made you a list.”

  “Yeah,” Dex said, “So what are your plans for the day? Mind if I chill out here for a while before I head back to school. My roommate has got a girlfriend and she’s always hanging out in our room. It’s pretty obnoxious.”

  “Nah, it’s fine, I’m just going to sit here and stress over plans for my first date with Fern until it’s time to actually go on the date with Fern.”

  “The Fern from the shop. The Fern you gave Ma’s job to so that she had to call me and rant at me about it for an hour last Monday.”

  “Yeah, that’s the one.”

  “Oh, nice. Is she hot?”

  Dax thought about having her body under his the night before as he’d plunged into her again and again, feeling her velvety hot center enclose him.

  “Yeah, she’s hot.”

  “Cool. Look, The Matrix is on.” Dex sat, his eyes glued to the screen.

  Dax leaned back in his chair, sometimes of all of his siblings, Dex was his favorite.

  Timothy looked down at the phone and smiled. Finally.

  Finally, after almost a year of searching, finally one of his private investigators had come through. He was going to have to figure out which one had given him the number and reward him with a large bonus.

  Ah, nothing had sounded quite as sweet as the sound of that lilting Jamaican accent.

  How had she managed to slip through his search? She’d been the only babysitter Catherine would tolerate well and she and Felicity had seemed to have some kind of bond over the child.

  Yes, of course she had helped his wife run away from him, abducting their child at the same time.

  Of course such a low-class, uneducated foreign person wouldn’t see the problem with that. People like that didn’t have any scruples anyway, she’d probably been paid well for her part, with his money no less.

  Well, she was about to get paid again, but this time instead of cash she’d be getting paid in what she really deserved. Pain. The bitch probably wasn’t even a legal citizen, just someone here to use up all the tax money he paid in for people like her.

  Well, no matter. He’d have her in hand soon enough, and she’d tell him where he could find Felicity and his child, of that there was no doubt.

  His phone rang, still clutched tight in his hand, it was his partner. He’d have to call him back in a few minutes, he was too wound up to talk on the phone at the moment. He’d either s
ound murderous or ecstatic. He wasn’t actually sure which emotion had the greater pull at the moment. Either way he needed to calm down.

  He took a cigarette out of the silver container he’d taken to keeping in his inside jacket pocket.

  Smoking was seen as something low-brow now, but he thought he might try to bring the fad back, he knew he made it look sophisticated, with his sleek cigarette case and vintage 1940s lighter.

  Maybe if it was seen as a rich man’s pursuit he wouldn’t have to walk outside at every single restaurant in the city any more. Maybe at least the better establishments would cater to a distinctive palette like his, that enjoyed his whiskey with a taste of smoked tobacco after partaking in a good meal, instead of treating him like a dog that needed to piss and throwing him outside.

  He was going to talk to some people, see if maybe he could convince them to take up the habit and maybe change that status of the slim stick back to fashionable.

  But that was just a distraction. Here he was on the cusp of finding his wife and daughter again and he was thinking about cigarettes. That was just like him. Sometimes he got caught up in things and had tunnel vision.

  But he wasn’t going to let Felicity and Catherine slip from his attention again, he promised himself. Finding and punishing Felicity was his top priority.

  He’d told his partners and all of his subordinates that his wife had left him and taken their child, which was technically not untrue. Just not quite completely true. So when they came back he wouldn’t have much explaining to do, other than just saying that they had reconciled.

  If that’s what he chose. There was nothing stopping him from bringing Catherine back home and leaving Felicity in whatever hole she’d dug herself into. Letting her live off of whatever meager wages she could make. After she’d paid for what she’d done of course. Paid dearly.

  He just wasn’t sure if he wanted her back. Who had time for an unruly, unfaithful wife sitting at home all day, spending his money, and plotting ways to defy him at every turn?

  No, maybe single fatherhood was the answer for him. He could raise Catherine to be the kind of woman her mother never would be, an obedient one.

  He stubbed out the cigarette into the amber ashtray and let his thoughts continue.

  Yes, he’d never trust Felicity again, and he didn’t need the headache of always wondering if she were up to something. Better just to be done with her.

  But something about that didn’t quite satisfy Timothy. The thought of her living alone, possibly finding a new man to continue her life with, didn’t sit well at all. As faithless as she was, taking the child probably wouldn’t even phase her all that much. She’d just go on about her life as if the brief blip called “motherhood” had never happened.

  Wasn’t that exactly what she’d done with him? Left him as if the word ‘wife’ didn’t mean a thing.

  No, that wouldn’t do at all. But bring her home or leave her there weren’t actually the only alternatives available, there was at least one other.

  Timothy’s breathing sped up at the thought. He could wrap his fingers around her throat and squeeze until she wasn’t a problem anymore. He wouldn’t have to see her and know she’d betrayed him, nor would he have to sit in his dissatisfaction knowing that somewhere she might be happy.

  Not that she’d ever find someone to replace him with. She was one cold fish and there was no warming her up. She’d never liked sex that much not even when they’d been dating, before he’d had to discipline her.

  There was a word for women like her: frigid. No, she wouldn’t run to jump in another man’s arms, of that he could be sure. But she might find some kind of contentment in work and home, maybe she’d get a cat to love. And that wouldn’t do. If she couldn’t be content with him, with what he’d provided for her and everything he’d done for her, he wouldn’t be able to stand for her to be content anywhere.

  Yes, that was the best, neatest solution, for everyone involved. Especially him.

  He let out a sigh with his first puff as he lit another cigarette. Yes, things were definitely turning around for him.

  “You’re sure you don’t mind? Please, let me give you some money at least to buy them a pizza for supper.”

  “You need your money more than I do. Look, Phillip just got promoted at work, we are doing good and I don’t mind helping you out. Besides, having Katy here just keeps Trina out my hair so I can finally get some stuff done. She ain’t no problem at all,” Fern’s sweet next door neighbor said, “Besides, you need to go on that date. It ain’t right a pretty young woman like you being cooped up all the time. Go out and have a good time, your girl is fine here.”

  “Thank you so much Mrs. Bethea, you don’t know how much I owe you,” Fern leaned in to hug the woman before turning and going back to her apartment.

  She hated to leave Katy on her day off but in all honesty Katy had asked to spend the night over at Trina’s house before she’d even mentioned anything to Mrs. Bethea about keeping her that night.

  The little girl was just excited to have a new friend and wanted to spend as much time with her as possible. It still stung a little when she didn’t even look back after entering the neighbor’s apartment and yelling goodbye as the girls ran into Trina’s room.

  Fern had accepted the date with Dax on the condition that it start after Katy’s bedtime, which Dax hadn’t minded. Katy was only 5, she still went to bed at 8; so, scheduling it around her bedtime wasn’t a problem.

  But, seeing as Katy was already gone at 6, Fern had plenty of time to pamper herself before her date.

  She looked around the tiny apartment, it was amazing that two small girls could do as much damage as a hurricane. Maybe she’d sacrifice some of her cleaning time, so she could straighten up. There was nothing quite so nerve wracking as coming home to a strewn house. And while she was absolutely certain that no one was going to be coming home with her, it never hurt to be prepared for visitors.

  ***

  Fern scanned the small, dimly lit restaurant for Dax’s handsome face. She hoped she wasn’t early, she’d tried to time it where she’d be there at exactly the time they’d agreed on, not early and not late. She hadn’t wanted to seem too eager and also hadn’t wanted to seem like she didn’t value his time and appreciate the fact that he’d gone to the trouble of taking her on a date.

  Ugh, dating was hard. It was frustrating not knowing if she were doing the right thing. But that wasn’t a new feeling at all.

  “You look beautiful,” a voice said in her ear, sending shivers across her neck and down her arms. She turned to see him holding a small bouquet of yellow, pink, and blue wild flowers, interspersed with little dots of white Queens Anne’s lace.

  “Thank you,” she said, sounding breathless. Maybe the fact that he was actually the beautiful one had taken her breath away. She was used to seeing him in his daily uniform of blue jeans and tee-shirt, which was enough of a distraction because nobody quite rocked a tee-shirt and jeans like he did. But seeing him in the fitted slacks and button down shirt just did something to her, he looked like a completely different person. Just as hot, if not hotter, but different.

  He held the flowers out to her and she realized she’d been standing there staring at him like a freak. She took the flowers and laughed as a stray thought crossed her mind. During the week, business hours, he looked like a tattooed bad boy who’d be at home on a big loud Harley or walking down the street with his crew, ready to get in trouble. On the weekend he looked like he could be the head of some Silicon Valley startup, or a hedge fund manager, or something equally as stuffy. He might even look like a dentist with those white teeth, a very hot dentist. Hundreds of weekend warriors had the exact same ritual, just in reverse.

  “What’s so funny,” he asked as the maître d’ seated them, a maddening sideways smile quirking his lips.

  “Nothing,” she said shaking her head, she didn’t want to offend him.

  “Tell me,” he insisted, tilting his head towa
rds her, as if he meant business.

  “I was just thinking that there were thousands of dentists who did the exact opposite of what you’re doing.”

  “Oh, and what am I doing?”

  “You look like the poster child for ‘Bad Boys’ during the week and on the weekend you dress up like a banker, where as they dress up in leather and ride their sixty thousand dollar bikes while trying to look tough on the weekend.”

  “You think I look tough?” he asked, and she couldn’t quite tell if he was amused or insulted.

  “Well you know, with the muscles and the tattoos and the scars, you don’t look like someone I’d want to fight in a back alley,” she explained as she felt the blush rising to her face.

  He looked at her for a moment before he burst out laughing.

  “What? Did I say something wrong?”

  He took her hands and pulled them to the center of the table, covering them with his own, “No, it’s fine. I just think you’re absolutely adorable.”

  She felt her blush get even deeper, she was flattered, but at the same time like he might be laughing at her. But in that moment she didn’t think she could make herself care, as long as he kept looking at her that way.

  “So, what’s the story tough guy? Why did you choose to be a tattoo artist instead of, say, a dentist,” she asked, realizing at that moment, despite the fact that she knew every member of his family and the face he made when he came, she knew hardly anything about him.

  “Well, I would have loved to have been a dentist, or a doctor, or even a grocery store manager, but my options were limited,” he said shrugging and looking away.

  She kept silent, hoping that he’d tell her more but also hating that she’d brought something up that broke the warm spell that had seemed to cocoon them at their little table.

  “You know Ma isn’t my real mother, right? And that Joker, Dex, and Sandy aren’t actually related to me,” he asked.

  She shook her head, the thought hadn’t even crossed her mind; she’d just accepted the fact that they were a family without ever questioning it.