Austin

by Linda Lael Miller

  “Why?” Austin wanted to know, frowning a little but secretly happy to hear it. Tate had been so all-fired determined to create a different home for himself and Libby and the kids that he’d set up housekeeping in the old Ruiz place and started renovating like crazy.

  Paige shrugged as she swung the car around the side of the house, buzzed up one of the garage doors and whisked them inside. “He’s not saying,” she replied, shutting off the engine, “but Libby and Julie and I figure it’s the McKettrick equivalent of circling the wagons. Tate’s protecting his family. What with all that’s been happening on this ranch lately, he may have a point.”

  Whatever his oldest brother’s reasons for returning to the homestead, where there was plenty of room for all of them yet with enough privacy to suit a hermit, Austin was glad. A house ought to have kids and dogs running around in it, it seemed to him, and if he and one or the other of his brothers occasionally crossed paths in the main kitchen or something, what harm could that do?

  Paige parked the car, shut off the engine, closed the garage door and, finally, unsnapped her seat belt. Just as Austin was about to protest that he didn’t need any help getting out of the car, he realized she didn’t intend to offer any.

  She stepped out onto the concrete floor of the garage, opened the rear door on her side and stepped back so Shep could leap nimbly down.

  Paige didn’t even glance in Austin’s direction, in fact, but simply retrieved her purse, slung the strap over one shoulder and walked inside.

  At least the dog waited for him.

  Both amused and annoyed—a common phenomenon with him when it came to Paige Remington—Austin grinned to himself and struggled out of the car. Paused to—carefully—stretch his legs before going on.

  He still had a flight of stairs to climb, and he wasn’t looking forward to it.

  After that, he’d have nothing to do but lie around watching TV, listening to the radio or trying to read. This last had proved frustrating since his back had gone to hell; reading was a challenge for him anyway, but the pills he had to take made concentration even more difficult, and sometimes impossible.

  He wasn’t looking forward to the boredom, either. Too much time to look back on things he couldn’t change and regret them just the same.

  All hell broke loose when he stepped into the kitchen.

  Streamers flew and things popped, the dogs barked in chorus, Shep joining right in like he’d been practicing his part, and Calvin and the twins whooped, “Surprise!”

  For one confused moment, Austin wondered if it was his birthday or something.

  But Julie and Libby both approached, each of them planting a sisterly kiss on his cheek. Julie laughed, probably at the confounded expression on his face, and said, in a tone she might have used to prompt one of her drama students when they needed a cue, “Welcome home, Austin.”

  He looked around the big room, saw Tate opening the first of a stack of pizza boxes on the center island. Garrett, meanwhile, was calling off the kids and the dogs.

  Paige was nowhere in sight.

  Austin tugged at Audrey’s dark ponytail, then Ava’s. He ruffled Calvin’s blond hair and walked into the heart of that house, and that family.

  His family.

  PAIGE STOOD IN THE LARGER of the two bedrooms in the guest apartment, enjoying the billow and scent of a freshly laundered, snow-white sheet as she flung it open and then watched as it settled slowly over the bed.

  Until further notice, Austin would be sleeping here; Paige had carried the few belongings she’d brought from home into the smaller room that had been Calvin’s, before he and Julie moved upstairs to share Garrett’s place.

  Until Austin’s shooting, she’d been ambivalent about accepting the job as his private nurse. The moment she’d seen him lying on the ground out there in the oil field, however, losing blood at an alarming rate and more concerned about his dog’s well-being than his own, there had been a seismic shift in Paige, one she couldn’t fully explain, even to herself.

  She was still wildly attracted to Austin McKettrick.

  At the same time, she was scared to death of the things he made her feel. She wanted to run the other way, as fast and as far as she could.

  She also wanted to run toward him.

  Paige smoothed the sheet, spread a blanket on top. Fluffed up the pillows.

  “Paige? Are you okay, sweetie?”

  She turned, knowing Julie would be standing in the doorway. “Of course I am,” she said, smiling. “Why wouldn’t I be ‘okay’?”

  Julie rested a shoulder against the doorjamb and folded her arms. Her head was tilted to one side, and she was wearing that look of benevolent suspicion she usually reserved for Calvin. Dressed in jeans and one of Garrett’s old flannel shirts with the sleeves rolled up, she’d obviously been helping Libby unpack over in Tate’s part of the house.

  “Well,” Julie drawled in reply, “the rest of us are in the kitchen, celebrating Austin’s return and about to have pizza, and you’re in here, all by yourself—”

  Paige turned, plunked down on the side of the bed she hadn’t quite finished making. “Maybe,” she admitted, somewhat testily, “I just needed a moment. Did you ever think of that?”

  Julie laughed softly and crossed to sit next to Paige. Looking around the room, she sighed and, instead of answering Paige directly, mused aloud, “Who would have believed my life could change as much as it has since Calvin and I were staying in this apartment?”

  Any reminder of Julie’s happiness—or Libby’s—made Paige happy, too. Smiling, she took Julie’s hand and squeezed it lightly. “Garrett’s a lucky man,” she said.

  Julie flushed. “And I’m a lucky woman,” she replied. Their hands still clasped, the two sisters touched the sides of their heads together briefly, then Julie got back on her feet. Smiled at Paige with genuine understanding. “I know it’s awkward,” she said. “Living here, I mean. Helping out with Calvin before and after school is one thing, but being in close contact with Austin, after everything—”

  Paige uttered a raw chuckle and put up one hand to silence Julie. “It’s good practice,” she said.

  Julie looked confused. “What is?”

  Paige laughed. “If you could see your face,” she teased. Then she stood up, and left the bed semimade behind her. In the hallway, she linked her arm through Julie’s, and they both headed toward the kitchen, the pizza and those incomparable McKettrick men.

  Julie smiled, but she wasn’t going to let Paige off the hook. “What is ‘good practice’?” she insisted, in a whisper.

  “Being in the same room with Austin McKettrick and one, not killing him,” Paige whispered back, her tone mischievous. “And, two, not jumping his bones.”

  Julie chuckled and shook her head.

  “So far,” Paige went on, still keeping her voice down because now they were almost in the kitchen, where the family had gathered to welcome one of their own back from the brink of death, “Austin and I have found two things we can agree on. The first is that Calvin is one terrific kid.”

  Julie beamed in obvious agreement. “What’s the second?”

  “That we—Austin and I—have no choice but to learn to get along, because my sisters are in love with his brothers, and vice versa, and we have to deal.”

  Julie gave her a one-armed hug just before they entered the kitchen. “That’s right,” she said. “You have to deal. Both of you.”

  With that, they stepped into the party.

  By the time everyone had their fill of pizza, Austin was starting to show definite signs of exhaustion.

  Paige felt a tender sting in her heart, just watching him interact with his adoring nieces, and with Calvin.

  Tate and Garrett went back out onto the range, while Libby and Julie tidied up the kitchen, talking quietly about the wedding, the food and the music and—horrors!—Paige’s bridesmaid’s dress.

  Paige found a broom and a dustpan and began sweeping up crumbs, being very careful t
o avoid getting sucked into the talk about the Big Event.

  “We’re out of school,” Ava was telling her uncle Austin in a joyous tone, “because it’s Saturday!”

  “Guess I lost track of time for a while there,” Austin told his niece. His gaze flicked to Paige’s face, flicked away again.

  His beard was growing in, his hair was shaggy, and Paige thought she’d never seen a more attractive man in her life.

  Another danger signal, of course.

  She finished sweeping, emptied the dustpan, put it away, along with the broom. Grabbing a jacket from the row of hooks where a variety of such garments were kept, she shrugged into it and announced, without looking at Austin, that she was going out to the barn to see how Molly was doing.

  Austin got to his feet, wan but determined. “I think I’ll come along,” he said, and nothing in his voice or his manner left room for disagreement.

  “Can we go, too?” Calvin immediately asked.

  “All of us?” Ava cried.

  “And the dogs?” Audrey added.

  Libby and Julie exchanged glances.

  “We’ve got work to do upstairs,” Julie told the children. “Remember? The movers have been unloading boxes all this time, and that means we’re behind with the unpacking.”

  None of the kids protested.

  “We’re helping,” Ava explained to Austin. “Otherwise, we’d come out to the barn, too.”

  Austin smiled down at her, held the little girl’s chin in his hand for a moment. “Lots of time for horse tending,” he said quietly, “now that you’ll be living here in the big house.”

  “Lots of time,” Ava agreed.

  With that, she and Audrey and Calvin headed for the far stairway, and all the dogs except Shep followed them.

  Julie and Libby were soon gone, too, so Paige and Austin just stood there, looking at each other.

  “You should lie down,” Paige finally said, because they were alone and the silence made her uncomfortable. “There’s a bed ready for you in the guest apartment. If anything’s changed with Molly, I’ll let you know.”

  He took a slow step toward her, one eyebrow slightly raised. “The guest apartment?” he said. “Isn’t that where you sleep?”

  Paige’s cheeks instantly warmed. “You aren’t supposed to climb stairs for a while,” she reminded him, “so I’m giving you my room. I’ll sleep where Calvin used to.”

  Austin had closed the space between them by then. “We’ll see to the horse together,” he told her, “and then I’ll gladly climb into your bed, Nurse Remington.”

  The warmth in Paige’s face turned to fire, probably because she didn’t find the idea of Austin McKettrick climbing into her bed all that unappealing. And she should have, by God. After what he’d done to her—ten years, ten minutes, it didn’t matter which—did it?—because once a cheater, always a cheater. She should have found the whole idea of sex with this man downright revolting.

  Instead, she wanted him. Ferociously.

  She knotted her hands into fists and thrust them deep into the pockets of the hooded jacket she’d helped herself to moments before, realizing only then that the garment belonged to Austin—it carried his unique scent.

  “All right, then,” she said, sounding a lot calmer than she was, “let’s go see Molly.”

  Because of the sling, Austin couldn’t put his left arm into the sleeve of a jacket, but he didn’t seem to mind the November cold as they headed outside.

  Shep stuck with them, probably reluctant to let Austin out of his sight after what must have seemed like a long absence to him.

  All the time Austin was confined to the clinic, Shep had spent most of his time curled up on a pile of unwashed jeans and T-shirts on the floor of his master’s closet.

  Paige had tracked him there, the first morning, and worried when he wouldn’t eat or drink.

  It had been Calvin who finally persuaded Shep to accept kibbles from the palm of his hand and even to take some water. If Julie hadn’t nixed the idea, Calvin would probably have slept in that closet with Shep, just to keep him company.

  Paige couldn’t help drawing a comparison between that and Austin wanting to spend the night in the barn when Molly was first brought to the ranch.

  Two of the cowboys were working in the barn when Paige and Austin got there, one feeding livestock, the other shoveling out stalls. There were probably more long-term employees on the Silver Spur than on most ranches, but some of the workers were transitory, and this pair fell into that category.

  Paige had never seen them before.

  Apparently, Austin had.

  “Hello, Tom,” he said, addressing the one filling the feeders with grass hay.

  Tom nodded. “Austin,” he said in a friendly tone. “Hell of a thing, what happened to you. I was right sorry to hear about it.”

  “Thanks,” Austin told him.

  The other man, younger than the first, flung a pitchfork full of manure into a waiting wheelbarrow and drew idly on the cigarette between his lips.

  “Told you before, Reese,” Austin said easily. “No smoking in the barn.”

  Reese’s jaw tightened, but then he grinned. He was probably in his early twenties, Paige thought, and except for his acne scars, he was handsome.

  “Sorry, boss,” he replied, tossing the butt down in the stall muck and grinding it out with the toe of his boot. “It won’t happen again.”

  Austin merely nodded, as if taking the promise at face value, and went on to stand at the door of Molly’s stall.

  The mare was waiting to greet him; she nickered happily and nuzzled his chest.

  Paige, no stranger to confrontation herself, felt vaguely unsettled by the exchange over the no-smoking rule, even though it had been a quiet one.

  Still, she saw how Reese’s eyes followed Austin as he moved on to greet Molly, clearly considering the matter resolved. And she didn’t like the feeling that settled into the pit of her stomach.

  As she walked past the man, to join Austin in front of Molly’s stall, tiny prickles moved over Paige’s body in a wave, and she instinctively quickened her step.

  Shep, always protective of Austin, gave no sign of concern. He was with his master, and that was all that mattered to him.

  Reese went back to shoveling, and Tom continued to feed.

  Paige told herself she was just jumpy because she hadn’t slept well since Austin’s shooting. Now that he was home again, her emotions seemed to be cycling from one extreme—joy—to its utter opposite—despair.

  She joined Austin inside Molly’s stall and immediately felt better.

  Because of his sling, Austin couldn’t help out much except to stroke Molly’s long nose and talk to her while Paige cleaned off the cruel marks left by the old halter with sterile wipes and then gently applied fresh ointment.

  Doing all that, Paige forgot about Tom and Reese, forgot everything, actually, except for Austin and the trusting horse and the dog waiting faithfully outside the stall door.

  The sense of pure belonging that came over her then was sweet and strange, something to savor and then let go of, because she knew there was no way it could last.

  Austin’s gaze strayed to her face and she blushed, as she often did when this man looked at her, because it seemed he could see beyond the persona she presented to the world—the competent nurse, Julie and Libby’s out-spoken sister, Calvin’s devoted aunt.

  And as much as Paige cherished her family, as hard as she’d worked to earn her professional credentials, for that one instant she could admit, if only to herself, that those things weren’t enough.

  She wanted a husband, a lover.

  She wanted children.

  She wanted a home of her own.

  But if there was one thing Paige Remington had learned in her life, it was that wanting something wasn’t the same as getting it.

  As a small child, she’d wanted her mother to stay—wanted that with an urgent intensity she could still feel, even now, so many ye
ars later.

  She’d wanted her dad to survive the cancer that had taken his life. She’d wept and prayed, but Will Remington, a brokenhearted husband, a dedicated father, had still died.

  And dear God how she had wanted Austin.

  Standing there in Molly’s stall, her fingers smeared with antibiotic ointment, Paige blinked back tears. Told herself to get a grip, to be grateful for what she had—two wonderful sisters, a nephew she loved as her own child, a career that caused her soul to thrive within her. Her health was good, and she lived in a free country.

  It was just plain wrong to want more.

  Wasn’t it?

  They finished with the horse, and Austin opened the stall door, waiting for Paige to precede him into the breezeway, where Shep was waiting.

  They walked in silence, their shoulders almost touching but not quite, and when they stepped outside, Paige was genuinely surprised to realize that nightfall wasn’t far off.

  High overhead, the first audacious stars were popping out, staking silvery claims to the night sky.

  Austin took Paige’s hand, and she didn’t pull away.

  SHE DIDN’T PULL AWAY. No, Paige allowed him to hold her hand.

  Austin counted that as a victory, however small.

  The big kitchen was empty.

  He hesitated, dropped her hand. “You don’t have to give up your room,” he said. “I can make it upstairs with no problem.”

  Paige looked mildly surprised, and then obstinate. “Maybe you can, Austin,” she said, “but there’s no need to complicate things by ignoring your doctor’s instructions, now is there?”

  If loving to argue with Paige Remington was wrong, Austin didn’t want to be right. “It’s a big house,” he said, gesturing with one hand to indicate a wide area, “and there are other bedrooms on this floor. Esperanza’s place is empty at the moment, for example, and there are other options besides.” He paused, knowing he was pissing her off, enjoying the fact immensely. “Why your bed, Paige?”

  Her color flared, but then she recovered her composure. “You are being deliberately obtuse,” she accused him, turning and moving on, leaving him to follow or not. And, of course, he followed.