Closing The Gap (Dangerous Pasts, #1)

by Colleen Charles

  “Lake, I had a bad accident back when I played youth hockey and took a metal pipe to the junk that caused internal bleeding. It’s highly unlikely that I could father any kids either. When I was younger, it might have been a possibility with a good fertility clinic. Now, at my age, the doctors tell me it’s near to impossible. I developed a life threatening blood clot right after it happened. All I remember is being drugged up in the hospital for days and how my mom cried by my bedside day and night. I almost didn’t make it.”

  She wrenched her head back to be able to see into his eyes and searched for verification in their azure depths. How could she be sure this wasn’t some made up story just to bring down her defenses so he could try to have his way with her? His face was lit with genuine distress.

  “You can’t have kids either?” Her voice remained tremulous as tears threatened to overrun her eyelids and spill past them, down her flushed cheeks.

  “No, I can’t. It’s the reason for my divorce and my subsequent ‘lifestyle’.” He lifted his arms for a moment to throw air quotes into the space right above her head. “Most women want marriage and babies. If you keep everything casual, you never have to have this difficult conversation. Who wants to admit that they’re infertile? That doesn’t make for very interesting pillow talk. My ex-wife, Shelly and I had been together since High School. She cheated during our marriage while I was on the road and tried to pass off another man’s baby as it if were mine. Since I want you to trust me, I’m going to take a leap of faith to trust first and tell you the whole story right now.”

  She laid there in silence, curled up next to him while he wore his heart on his sleeve for the first time in her presence. When warranted, she interjected with questions or comments. About an hour later, he stopped and Lake couldn’t believe what he’d told her. Her heart sung with joy that he’d shared this personal information. Her armor started to lose its strength. If he tried hard enough tonight, he’d break through the final barrier.

  “I’m so honored that you trusted me with this.” Had God sent this man to her? She wondered if he could be the impetus to her final healing. Lake turned to him and placed her right hand on his cheek loving the way his beard growth felt soft against her fingertips. The lines on his face appeared deeper than they had been earlier. He looked wiped out. She traced the planes of his face with the pads of her fingers. Her soul seemed to know what her mind hadn’t grasped yet. She was falling in love with him. Since she really had no concrete proof beyond tonight that he felt the same way, she just wanted to go with it and see where it would lead. His trust and midnight confessions were a very good place to start.

  He laid his head back further into the cushions and let his eyes drift closed. “Lake, that feels wonderful.”

  “I’m glad.” Emboldened by that reaction, she turned towards him and got on her knees next to his left side for a better angle. She started her exploration with the sides of his neck, then soft strokes outward to his shoulders. Lake leaned towards him and let her palms rest on the hard planes of his chest. She felt his heartbeat through his white dress shirt like the pound of a tribal drum, strong and steady. As she started again, her fingers moved along down his sides and hovered lower.

  “Come here.”

  ****

  Telling Lake his story had fatigued him to his bones. Josh wanted to curl up in a ball like a bear and hibernate. Until she started touching him. He hadn’t wanted to admit how much his divorce had cost him until he’d let the emotions flow out and be released. That Lake was the catharsis for this epic event didn’t surprise him at all. She’d fast become his soft place to fall and he’d fallen for her hook, line and sinker as he confessed things he’d never told anyone else. He hoped that he would prove to be worthy of her. She didn’t completely trust him yet and he noticed she hadn’t shared why she couldn’t have children. He wouldn’t push her to tell him about the accident. She’d trusted him enough to share part of herself when he’d pleaded with her earlier and that was a good place to start. The rest would come later.

  When she’d laid her fingers across his jaw line and stroked, he’d just about jumped out of his skin. How could she turn him on like this with the barest hint of a touch? It was a conundrum. Most times, it took buttons flying off and a strong grip through the fly of his pants. He laid back and closed his eyes to allow her soft touch a chance to ease the turbulent emotions. On fire with need, he wondered if he’d be able to hold back. Her hands drifted lower towards his belt and hesitated there. God damn it! The hands must not have been brave enough tonight because they started back on their slow journey up his sides again. Patience proved difficult but he had confidence her dormant passion could escalate, like kindling waiting for the lit match to set it ablaze.

  He couldn’t wait another second to taste her lips and feel her skin against his. He’d been eyeing her full breasts in that cleavage bearing, pink number all night long and he’d wanted to rip it right off her body in the middle of the dance floor. Jealousy was the only thing that had stopped him. No other man would see her naked ever again. That lacy dress needed to come off right now.

  “Come here.”

  Josh gripped Lake by the waist and pulled her towards him so she fell right into his chest and waiting mouth. Their kiss was explosive. The weeks of pent up sexual tension had been released in a fire storm of raw need and bare emotion spurred on by the illicit revelations of the evening. She’d put her hands on his chest to break her fall but now they moved upwards into his thick hair. He had to have more of her, right now. He sucked her full bottom lip into his mouth. Josh loved how she always bit it when she felt unsure. She moaned, little sounds of pleasure against him and he enjoyed the faint vibrations.

  Lake opened her mouth against his and he felt the tentative touch of her tongue. She tasted faintly of spearmint and lime. He sucked it into his mouth as he tried not to break the passionate stupor by going too fast or hard too soon. With every dance of their tongues back and forth, Josh noticed her body melting deeper into his. He was rock hard and aching. If it scared her, she didn’t let on because she continued to rub against him in languid strokes of her torso. He had to touch her for some relief. Now.

  He broke contact for a moment. “I have three words to say.”

  “Hmm?” She didn’t want to talk as she used her lush mouth to rain little nips down his neck and chest, everywhere his skin was exposed. Holy mother of God, he wanted that mouth to travel with its trail of kisses down his stomach so bad it took every ounce of strength he possessed not to grab her head and force the issue. He fantasized about her undoing his belt, yanking it through the belt holes and tossing it out into the rocks. Would it be wrong to ask her to rip his pants off and put her mouth where he wanted it most of all? That fantasy would have to play out later. After the intoxicating mental image, his struggled with words.

  “Too – many – clothes!”

  “Agreed.”

  Shit! Could he break through her final defenses? She brought her fingers down to the pearl buttons on his shirt and undid them one by one. Lake met each new area of skin she exposed with fiery kisses, nipping first and then soothing the area with her tongue. Where had she learned to do that? He didn’t really want the truth, didn’t welcome the foreign feelings of jealousy he experienced when he considered her past partners. The very idea of her being intimate with another man pissed him off. Consumed with images of pleasuring her so completely, she would become his and his alone, Josh recognized how desperately he wanted her. He was so in tune with her movements and lit with desire, his passion threatened to overwhelm him. Lake Harrison was innocence and fire all rolled into one. She needed to stop or he wouldn’t last when he slid inside her for the first time. He had to take control.

  In one adept move, he clutched her waist and flipped her over onto her back so she rested prone on the sofa cushions. He took possession of her mouth again and flicked his tongue over her bottom lip over and over until she opened completely to him. Josh ran his hands
along the sides of her neck to her shoulders and with the motion of that intentional caress her spaghetti straps slid right off her upper arms. Once he’d dispatched with the straps, it became easy to slide the dress a few inches further and expose her breasts to the cool evening air. As much as he wanted to keep kissing her mouth, he needed to see her and taste her everywhere.

  Josh reared back on his knees in between her legs and looked his fill. She looked amazing, and real.

  “You’re incredible. Since I’ve met you, every night in my lonely bed I’ve wondered what you would look like beneath me, exposed.”

  She didn’t say anything but took that opportunity to dispatch with the remainder of his buttons and pull his shirt from his body.

  “Probably the same number of times I’ve dreamt about you without your shirt. The fantasy doesn’t even compare to the reality. I want to feel your skin against mine. What are you going to do about that?”

  In seconds, he’d pulled her dress over her legs while he admired her gorgeous, curvy body. Underneath him in her lacy pink panties that looked more like a scrap of material artfully placed between her legs, Josh released the breath he’d held. He ran his hands from her feet up her outer calves and thighs stopping at the dip of her waist. He loved her small waist and stopped to worship that area before he moved on to the sides of her breasts. Lake’s nipples pebbled with desire and he longed to lick them and feel them tighten further under his tongue.

  As he molded her with his hands like a potter with clay, he bent his head and flicked his tongue out. Lake gasped so he continued the gentle assault until she writhed beneath him. Only then, did he touch her the way he really wanted. He had to know if she was wet for him. He kept his mouth attached to her left nipple, sucked in deeply and nipped lightly with his teeth as he brushed his right hand over the curve of her right hip and down her leg. His hand came back up by way of her inner thigh and he felt the heat radiating off of her core.

  “My God, Lake, you don’t know how bad I want to sink into you right now.” He looked up, pleased by the blissful look on her face. Anxious to uncover her unique expression when she came, he’d find out soon. Her sexy and uninhibited expressions could become an addiction.

  He’d stopped touching her so her eyes flew open. Her gaze touched his and he saw the need reflected there.

  “First, I’m going to touch you and see how hot and wet you are for me.”

  Just as he put his fingers in the string of her panties, he noticed a long, jagged white scar that marred her otherwise perfect abdomen. It looked like a knife wound. He reached his hand out and traced it. She brought her arms and hands down to try to cover it but he grabbed both her wrists in his palm and held her still while he put his mouth there to kiss and lick around the edges.

  “It’s a part of you so it’s beautiful, just like you are. Don’t ever try to hide any of yourself from me. I want all of you. When you are comfortable enough to tell me what happened to you in the accident, I will know that you trust me. I’m going to wait patiently for that day.”

  “Josh, I’m not ready. Someday, but not now. Please, don’t remind me of my scar. I don’t welcome any thoughts in my head tonight that don’t involve you.”

  “I’ll stop since you’re asking me to but you need to know how desirable you are. I have too many scars to count from my years in the NHL. They don’t define me.”

  The words calmed her so she settled back into the sofa and her eyelids fluttered closed again. He wondered if she would ever be comfortable enough to vocalize her desires and watch him. Recognizing he wanted her expressive eyes to follow his every move, for now, Josh was satisfied she’d let him have his wicked way with her body. Lake giving him complete freedom to caress her with his hands and mouth represented a small triumph for him and their new relationship. The moment he’d told her he hadn’t been with anyone else in months, he’d committed to only her. Hell, he hadn’t thought about anyone else since months before he met her. Now, the constant visions of her alone, consumed him.

  He ran his hand down over her scar and lightly fingered the white edges as he slid his fingers into the string of her bikini panties. Josh pulled them down and swept them off her legs in a single movement. God, she turned him on so much. When he saw her silky smooth skin, everywhere, it shocked him again how this woman forever surprised him, in the best ways. Tasting her felt like a compulsion. That would have to wait. His instincts were always dead on in the bedroom. She wouldn’t welcome that intimate of a move this soon. He slid his fingers down further and lightly caressed her. Christ Jesus, the heat and wetness were incredible. He’d never felt anything like it. He needed his pants off. Now.

  ****

  On fire with need, Lake possessed a vague notion of Josh pulling her panties over her thighs, knees and ankles, tossing them to the side. She looked at him through veiled lids so she could watch his movements undetected. Panic shot through her when he noticed her scar but it didn’t faze him in the least so she found it easy to calm herself. His tender words and touch made her even more breathless with desire for him. He didn’t seem repulsed or disappointed with any part of her.

  She felt his hands nudge her legs apart and then those incredible, long fingers touched her core, softly, but with deliberate intent. She wondered what he’d first thought when he’d seen she’d had all her body hair lasered. God almighty, he knew exactly what to do. What she needed before she even did. She wanted his hands on her in a way she had never even dreamt of prior to this moment. To this man.

  The pressure and speed were exquisite. If he continued, she’d come apart under his hands in mere seconds. He’d unlocked something deep inside her, the place where her most secret fantasies had been ferreted away, never to be shared. But now, she’d met this man who seemed able to tear apart her carefully erected defenses with a single word. A single touch. Finding the source of her pleasure, he used his thumb to rub in small, circular motions while he slid his middle finger deep inside of her. His other hand caressed her left breast, pinched the nipple into hardness and then soothed the ache he had created with his tongue.

  “Oh, my God.” The blasphemous epithet escaped her lips as she arched her body further up into his hands. The positioning propelled her closer but not quite close enough. So drunk with lust, she had no recollection of her exact words, even if she made sense. She’d been robbed of sense, of will. The only thing she knew for sure is that she wanted more from him. So much more.

  “That’s my girl. Do you like that? You’re so hot and wet, Lake. Is that what I do to you?” A slight nod of her head was the only acknowledgement she managed, coherent words no longer possible. Lake began to see stars as her breath became shallow and fast. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She was going to come all over him.

  “That’s it baby. Please let go. Come for me.”

  His explicit words didn’t feel dirty, they were raw and right and she couldn’t hold back any longer. Release appeared just beyond her reach, just a few more seconds. Through the thick fog of her desire, Lake heard Chad’s voice on the intercom. It sounded small and very far away. He never bothered her unless he found something during final barn check before he went to sleep.

  “Lake, are you and Summer out on the patio? I saw her car in the drive so I rang the bell but the front door is locked. Lake, its Lily! She’s down in her stall and it doesn’t look good. Lake? Lake, please answer! Are you there?”

  Lake froze at Chad’s frantic tone and never doubted him for a moment. Chad never raised his voice. His words pummeled through her haze of passion. Lake flung herself up and grabbed her dress from the outdoor carpet as she pulled it over her head and hips and sprinted barefoot towards the barn.

  As far as I can tell, Lake, worrying about anything at all is a pretty good indicator that one has begun thinking that their joy and prosperity will somehow hinge on pending physical events, other people, or angry green Martians.

  Can you imagine?!

  The Universe

&n
bsp; Chapter Eighteen

  “She had a rough go of it but she’s going to make it.”

  Lake sagged back against Josh with extreme relief as they stood outside the stall and talked to Lily’s vet, Dr. Amy Baskett. A great vet and a kind woman, she’d been on call since Lake had relocated her farm from Minnesota to Arizona.

  Josh had been a pillar of support and Lake didn’t know what she would have done without him. For three days and three nights, they’d kept vigil with Lily and tended to her every need. Lake felt Lily’s pain and suffering as if it were her own. When Lake collapsed with exhaustion, Josh took over for her. His knowledge of horses limited, he still did everything he could. Learning as he went, he’d get Chad’s input when Lake found herself too battle worn to even keep her eyes open. Gratitude coursed through Lake’s body. Without the second chance she’d offered just a few short weeks ago he wouldn’t be here now, a man who under-promised and over-delivered.

  “Lake, the test results came back from the lab and we found something confusing. Has Lily been on any calming supplements in the past thirty days?” Dr. Baskett’s mouth fell in concern.

  “No, the only thing she takes on a regular basis is a joint supplement and Adequan. What did the blood work reveal?” Lake’s mind raced as she catalogued each item she’d fed Lily over the past month. She’d never forgive herself if she’d caused the illness without her knowledge. She turned her head and looked to Chad for validation.