Closing The Gap (Dangerous Pasts, #1)

by Colleen Charles

  Exposed and unsure as she waited outside the door with nothing to keep her hands occupied, Lake wondered what she should do. Everything necessary for an evening out she’d shoved in her jeans pockets before she left the house so she wouldn’t be forced to carry a handbag. With years spent obsessed over the physical safety of her body, she didn’t have a high tolerance for being alone in a strange place. She took comfort against the metal rail behind the last row of the arena and looked out over the empty ice below. As she took deep breaths to calm herself she noticed that few people remained in the stands except the cleaning crew.

  An awareness traveled up the back of her neck as it set her entire scalp on fire with the sensation of a thousand pins stabbing her skin. His physical presence and her reaction to it was tangible. Lake didn’t need visual verification to know he stood behind her. Goose flesh crawled over every inch of her skin. It brought with it potent memories of every time he had touched her. Lake glanced out on the ice and focused her eyes on the exact spot where they had shared their first kiss. For a moment, she toyed with the radical idea of flinging herself over the railing if that would help her avoid this conversation and keep her from blurting out that she still loved him with every beat of her heart. Then, she remembered the exquisite sketch of Lily he had commissioned as a gift for her. If nothing else, she owed him a sincere thank you. She steeled her resolve, promised herself she wouldn’t cave at the site of him and slowly turned.

  Aim with your heart, Josh, steer with your mind, and know that it always works.

  Love you~

  The Universe

  Chapter Thirty Nine

  Josh grabbed his dad in a huge bear hug and used the embrace to express what words could not.

  “Dad, I’m thrilled to see you. You look fantastic. How are you?”

  “Son, I’m doing well. Since I haven’t been allowed to sit in the stands for so long at a Hawks game, it was quite the treat for me. Excellent company as well.”

  “Where is she? Did she come in with you?”

  Chuck didn’t take defeat well. His eyes, the same blue as Josh’s, sought understanding and empathy. “It took my best coercion techniques to get her in the vicinity. She’s right outside the door where I left her. I promised I wouldn’t force her to come in if she didn’t want to. I think you’re going to have to go out. That might be best anyway, the stimulation and excitement in here aren’t conducive to a serious conversation. I need to go and thank Kevin. Without his excellent interview, I don’t think Lake would have neared the press box at all.” Chuck stepped away and left in search of Kevin.

  Since Josh stood solo for a rare moment, Roberts took the opportunity to discuss the events of the evening.

  “Hey, old man, where is she?”

  “Dad said she would only go as far as the door. I guess that’s progress, anyway. At least she’s not in a cab en route to her house as we speak.”

  “She did better and better as the night wore on. She probably stayed outside because you’re so ugly they could use your face as a model for death threats.” Roberts started right in again with his lip. Jesus, would he ever quit?

  “How much beer did you ingest, Tree Rat?”

  “A couple, nothing major. I’m still holding out for champagne at Myst later. Do you have it in your pocket?”

  Josh patted the interior pocket of his suit coat. He’d worn his grey pinstripe suit and baby blue tie for this game, the same clothes he’d had on when Lake won his date on the HFH bachelor auction. He hoped she would remember. He certainly did. Every memory since he’d first laid eyes on her had become etched on his brain.

  “I have it right here.”

  “I think there might be hope for you, geezer. When she made that speech about you being the best ever at closing the gap, even better than Orr, I just about pissed myself. That was the single, most sexy thing I’ve ever heard fly out of a woman’s mouth besides, ‘Ryan, I’m coming!’. I think I might finally understand the appeal of all this love shit. Lucky for you, I’m hot for the other Harrison.” He flung that last comment out with a wink and a grin.

  “I know. I freely admit it that I got emotional over what Lake said. If the press box hadn’t been filled to capacity when that interview was happening, I probably would have lost it. My mom never even said anything like that about me and she couldn’t explain the gap after twenty five years of watching me play! We won’t even mention Shelly who thinks the gap is the distance between the gym and the mall. Lake Harrison has surprised me since the day we met, in the best ways.”

  “It’s time Trash. Summer and I will keep everyone occupied in here so you can have some private moments with her. If anyone tries to interrupt, I’ll put them in the Half Nelson.”

  “Thanks, Ryan. For everything.” Gratitude seemed shallow but Roberts understood. Further words were not necessary.

  His legs and feet dragged as though they were made of lead but gravity still propelled his body forward and out the door. Unfamiliar with the logistics of this particular arena, he craned his neck from side to side before he spotted her. She wore his favorite color for her, baby pink, and that didn’t go unnoted. She gazed out over the ice while her slight body leaned against the metal rail for support. Up close, she looked even more fragile than she had when he’d watched her on the television monitor. Christ, she needed to take better care of herself. He might break her in half if he took her in his arms like he wanted to do more than he wanted draw his next breath.

  As if she sensed his presence, he observed her body tense as she filled her lungs with air. His fingers itched to touch her skin. She turned around and looked straight into his eyes. He managed a deep cleansing breath as well and they spoke at the same time.

  “Lake, I ...”

  “Josh, ...”

  He didn’t want to interrupt her, afraid one wrong word would incite her tendency to bolt. That she even stood here, able to speak to him in person, was a revelation. She wanted to run and he was proud of her for making it this far. That small action contained endless possibility. He didn’t dare step any closer although every fiber of his being silently screamed that he should. “You first.”

  “I couldn’t go home without coming up and saying thank you.” Her full lips trembled. She appeared tiny and broken, like a whisper of breeze might blow her over. Please God, don’t let her cry. It broke his heart in two every time because he knew how much those tears cost her and that he was powerless to stop them. He recognized how much he admired her in addition to how much he loved her. Every other female he had ever slept with used tears to manipulate him. This one fought them with every ounce of strength she possessed.

  “Thank you?” He didn’t understand the comment. Thank you for hoodwinking her into the arena and this private meeting? It couldn’t be that.

  “The sketch you had commissioned of Lily in my paddock. It is truly the most thoughtful gift I have ever received. I will treasure it always.”

  Okay, that comment represented a good start. Why couldn’t she say that she would treasure him always? He needed to hear it, like a man dying of thirst needs a desert oasis.

  “You’re welcome. I met the artist, Jane Allen, at the Snap Gala last year. I had a great conversation with her and remembered that she specialized in animal portraits. Lily made an impression on me that day we met. When I found that photo online, she looked the same as she had months ago. Lake, everyone’s worried about you and now I can see why. Have you been eating?”

  “You sound like my sister.” Her voice became stronger as the minutes elapsed. “By the way, you don’t look so great yourself.”

  “Touché. Roberts reminds me of that daily. I’m giving him unlimited fodder for his incessant ugly jokes.” Her visible irritation at his boldness caused his confidence to increase. She’d forgotten her fear for a moment and he saw that as an opportunity. She’d softened slightly. “You know, there’s a valid reason why I don’t look like myself.”

  “Oh?”

  “Can I t
ell you a story?”

  “Of course. Does it have a happy ending?”

  “I hope so. Do you want to sit?”

  “I don’t want to go in to the press box.”

  “No, I meant here, in the back row? I’m sure the cleaning crew won’t mind. They’ve started at the bottom and are working their way to the top.”

  “Sure.”

  He stepped into the last row of the section and took the second seat leaving the aisle open for her. It would be a bone headed move to try to trap her. If she decided to listen to his speech, it had to be of her own volition. She turned to look at his face and in spite of the dark circles under her eyes, she still looked so very beautiful, this tiny person that he loved so much. Her green eyes and long, lush eyelashes were the same as he remembered in his dreams. She might be missing most of her natural curves but the lack of nourishment hadn’t taken away the fullness of her lips. He tore his gaze away from her face and leaned back in the seat. As he got comfortable, he peered at the ice, afraid the constant eye contact would overwhelm her.

  “Can you promise to stay still and sit here with me until I say everything I want to say?” His gaze found hers to search for the answer. Somehow, he had to convince her to hear him. That he was worth it. “If you can just listen until the end and you still want to leave, I will let you walk out of here and never bother you again.”

  “I can do that.” Her eyes scrutinized his face. He prayed for even a glimpse of the old Lake, the one who gave a myriad of emotions permission to flit across her face like an actress on a soap opera. If she did that, perhaps he wouldn’t be so petrified in this moment, of what could go wrong. Can’t she throw me a bone for Christ’s sake? He fought to remember the words he’d gone over multiple times as he’d pictured this scene in his mind’s eye. Josh visibly struggled. He found when faced with reality, rational thoughts floated away like confetti on the wind. He settled for one sentence that couldn’t be contested.

  “Lake, I miss you.”

  Her gaze shot downward towards her feet and he worried that he wouldn’t get the chance to continue. She glanced at her hands clasped together in her lap but then, she cautiously lifted her eyes to his again.

  “I miss you too. Very much.”

  Now, he felt slightly better. The conversation had just made its way up out of the ditch.

  “I know you’re scared and you don’t trust yourself to love someone again, to be vulnerable. I give you my word, with every breath in my body, I can and will keep you safe. Physically and emotionally. I can’t promise there will never be arguments or rough patches. Those exist in any healthy relationship. I can promise you that I will always be your soft place to fall, and support you unconditionally, until the day I die. All I’m asking for is a chance to prove that to you.”

  She ran her eyes over his face seeming to search for any shadow of deception. Would she allow herself to believe him? Her green gaze locked with his.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay?” He squawked like a parrot, aping her word. Had he heard that correctly?

  She nodded her head and divine relief coursed through his veins. He realized that every muscle in his body had been rigid, waiting for a response, any response. His arms went up of their own accord and slid across the sides of her face just like the first time he’d kissed her in this very arena. As he cupped her cheeks in his large palms, he rubbed his thumbs back and forth over her silky skin. He leaned in and touched his lips to hers with the barest of pressure, still unable to accept this had happened, afraid he’d wake up and find it all a dream. Her lips moved under his and her arms came up to wrap themselves around his neck. He broke away only to reach inside his suit coat and pulled out her engagement ring. “I have something here that belongs to you.”

  “You do?”

  “Yes. Definitely.” He slid the ring back on her finger and they both looked down at it at the same time. It looked a bit looser than it had been the first time he placed it there. “We don’t have to get married right away, or even ever if you don’t want to. I do want it known that you belong to me and always will. Especially, around that little lecher, Roberts.”

  “Judging by what’s happened of late, I strongly feel he’s otherwise engaged.”

  “Duly noted.”

  Josh saw movement above them and glanced up. The very subjects of their current conversation stood with their noses pressed to the glass enclosure of the press box as they grinned from ear to ear, their arms raised high in the air. He hugged Lake even tighter as their distant voices carried just far enough into the arena that Josh could hear them.

  “Yes, ma’am!”

  “Amen, brother!”

  After the words rang out, Ryan and Summer initiated the most colossal and bad-ass series of high fives that Jobing.com arena would ever see.

  Rarely, Lake, are the first steps in a journey anything like the final ones, either in direction, pace, or grace. So please believe me when I tell you that none of those things are even half as important as the fact that there are steps at all.

  Vroom, vroom ~

  The Universe

  Chapter Forty

  “It feels like déjà vu, what I’m about to say.” Josh gripped her in his arms and swayed to the slow love song playing at Myst as he leaned in closer to sniff her hair. Again. That damn cherry shampoo, it would be his undoing. He wanted to raid her shower and pour the entire bottle down the drain. He probably would. “How soon can we get the hell out of here without the rat pack over there pitching a toddler tantrum?”

  “How soon do you have to fly home?” She pressed her body against his tonight from chest to thigh and didn’t care who watched. It had been so long and she just couldn’t seem to get close enough. Would it be possible to crawl inside him? She’d behaved like a frightened imbecile for months. Now, the fear had simply faded away.

  “We have a Monday night home game so I don’t have to fly back until Monday morning. Kevin’s going to cover for me. He told our boss at the network that I just got engaged. Kevin said single women are going to be crying their heartbreak all over Chicago.”

  Lake glanced at the gigantic ring perched on her left hand, the same one that grazed his shoulder. The ring stunned everyone who saw it, including Lake. Incredulous, Summer had confessed he’d picked it out without any assistance from her. Perfect was the only word to describe the symbol that represented their love. She glanced over her shoulder and saw Summer and Ryan were more pleasantly engaged as they pressed against each other in the middle of the dance floor.

  “Frankly, I don’t think anyone would miss us. Take a peek over yonder.”

  “Jesus, I thought I was bad. He should be locked up and registered as a deviant sexual predator.”

  “She doesn’t look like she minds. That same wild streak runs through her veins too. I wonder what’s going to happen there. He doesn’t seem to want to settle down and neither does she.”

  “I’ll chat with him. I hope they’ll be respectful of everyone else involved and just ride it for as long as it lasts, so to speak.” He raised his black eyebrows up in the air twice at the innuendo.

  “No doubt, that will happen. Often.”

  Once the song ended, the foursome met Chuck and Lois at their table. Lois had joined them at the nightclub to give the couple her best wishes in person, after Chuck had phoned her with the happy news. Josh opened his mouth to tell them he and Lake were headed home for the evening, when their waitress appeared with a bottle of Cristal and six toasting flutes.

  For the love of God, didn’t Roberts realize he hadn’t had sex in months? Yes, he probably did and planned this shit on purpose since Josh loved waiting. Josh’s nuts were ten shades of blue and he’d been at war with that annoying personal problem since the limo ride over here. If Lake had ridden with him he could have closed the partition and slid her right on top of his lap easing the horrendous ache.

  Not sure he could tolerate another ten minutes of Roberts pontificating over champagne, no mat
ter how expensive and delicious it might be, he glanced over at Lake. She didn’t seem to be upset or anxious so he rolled with it. What would one little toast hurt? If the Tree Rat got too wordy, Josh would cut him off at the knees in a heartbeat. Besides, he owed Roberts after tonight, big time.

  “Trash, I have known you for over ten years and throughout that time, you have become one of my dearest friends. Sometimes, when I get lippy, you’re my only friend. I can’t tell you how much your friendship has meant to me. How you’ve taken care of me, in spite of myself, both on and off the ice. When I first met the stunning Lake, in the Capital Grille that night, I knew she was one in a million. Then she spoke to me and my heart shattered into a million pieces because it was obvious, she already belonged to you. Even though you tried everything within your power to fuck it up. That night and many since, I’ve thought you were so God damn stupid you thought fruit punch was a gay boxer. Yet, here you both are, and we are all so excruciatingly happy to finally see it. I never thought I would get to say this, but I am so thrilled for you both.” Raising his glass, Roberts continued. “To Trash and The Trashette!”

  Summer broke out in the giggles. “That is awesome! The Trashette! I hope you weren’t too attached to your name, Lake. Stud, you are a wizard with words.”

  “Oh, my lovely, I am a wizard, you should see it when I work my black magic. Come, let me prove it to you.” As he twirled her out on to the dance floor, Roberts pulled her into his arms and then executed a dip so perfect her chestnut hair swept the floor tiles.

  “Dad, Lois. I think that’s our cue to leave. We’ll see you before I fly out on Monday, maybe for dinner tomorrow night?” Although he didn’t want to leave his new fiancée for one minute, his dad had been his staunch supporter throughout the past months and he knew Lake would support him on this.

  “Of course, you two lovebirds have fun tonight. I’m so overjoyed this happened, kids. I’m not losing a son, I’m gaining a daughter.” Lake had tears in her eyes as she kissed Chuck and Lois goodbye. Josh had never been more proud of his dad and he felt honored to share him with Lake.