Back in Dr. Xenakis' Arms
Page 19
“Tonight.”
Her face fell and he knew that it had hit her. “You were going to leave without telling me?”
“No, that’s why I asked you over.”
You’re a monster. You’re just awful.
“I thought...” She shook her head. “I don’t know what I thought.”
“Tell me.” He could take it, and he deserved her wrath. He deserved it all.
For one brief moment he wished he was a different person—but he wasn’t, and he couldn’t see how to change. He knew what it was like to grow up with an absent mother who hated and loathed your very existence and a father who couldn’t look at you because you were a disappointment.
Families were complicated and messy.
He wanted none of it.
“I thought we would talk about our offers together,” she said. “I mean, I turned down Mayo because I thought you wanted to be with me.”
Her eyes were full of tears and he fought the urge to take her in his arms and comfort her.
“Why didn’t you take the job at Mayo?” he asked.
“I should’ve, apparently.”
“Yes, you should’ve, Naomi. This is your career. It’s important.”
“I didn’t want to leave you. I wanted to give us a chance!”
He closed his eyes, pain washing over him, but he hardened his heart. He shouldn’t have gotten involved with her to begin with. He should’ve walked away after that first stolen kiss that had electrified his world.
Naomi Hudson was dangerous, and he’d known that all along—but he’d still pursued her.
“You should’ve taken the job, Naomi. There is no long-term future for us. I told you this at the start.”
A tear slipped down her cheek. “I remember, but I thought—”
“You thought what?” he interrupted. “That I would change my mind? My goal has always been to make it to head of neurosurgery. You knew this.”
“And you knew, deep down, that I wanted more from our relationship and yet you kept me dangling. You kept pursuing me. You didn’t let me go either!” she shouted.
“I’m letting you go now,” he said stonily, his heart breaking because he didn’t want to let her go, but it was for the best.
“I thought I meant more to you,” she said, her voice shaking.
“Look, we both knew this had to end sometime.”
“I didn’t know that. Or I guess I just didn’t want to believe it.”
“Well, then, that’s your problem.”
And he hated himself for saying those words, but they needed to be said. He had to put an end to it. She’d given up a job for him, but he’d never asked her to do that. She had to move on from him.
The sting of her slap on his cheek didn’t catch him off guard. He was expecting it.
“Enjoy New York, you bastard! I hope to God I never see you again!”
She pushed past him, and he didn’t turn around as the door opened and then slammed shut behind her.
Instead he sighed, felt a tear almost slipping from his eye. He wandered to the window, watching her get into her car and drive away.
When had he become such a coldhearted monster like his father?
He was selfish, greedy. He’d wanted her so badly, and for a year it had been bliss. Then she’d started to creep her way in through his carefully constructed walls. She’d started to plan for a future that he had never wanted.
It was time to let her go—even if his heart really didn’t want to.
She would find someone better than him. Someone who deserved her. He was not the man for her.
He didn’t deserve her, but he would never forget her. There would never be a woman like her for him again—he’d make sure of it—and he was also sure that he would never love another woman the way he’d loved her.
There would only ever be one Dr. Naomi Hudson in his life, and he’d just thrown her away. She’d be happier without him, and he’d be miserable without her, but it served him right.
He picked up the contract for the job in Manhattan again. This was what his life was all about—saving lives. In some ways, at least, if he excelled at his job, it might make up for the hurt he’d caused her.
At least he could do something good with his time...even though his life and his heart were beyond saving and always would be.
Copyright © 2018 by Amy Ruttan
ISBN-13: 9781488079832
Back in Dr. Xenakis’ Arms
First North American Publication 2018
Copyright © 2018 by Amalie Berlin
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