The Woman on the Painted Horse

by Angela Christina Archer

  “William, I’m not going to that dinner. I should just return to the manor.”

  “Please come with me.” He not only begged with his voice, but begged with his eyes. Those perfect, melting eyes coaxing me from retreating away from him any further.

  “I’m not going.”

  “Will you go someplace else? Just for a little while? I could steal some dinner and take you someplace else.”

  “All right.” Reluctantly, I walked behind him, slowly following.

  Bonfires lit up the night sky, billowing smoke into the air as we strolled around the outskirts of the plaza along the edge of the tree line and stopped for a moment. Drum beats pounded in my chest, a deep thud pulsating through my lungs. The unique sound of three, four, then six different drum beats echoed all around, vibrating from the trees and the ground. Some deeper, some louder, some soft in their own right, but all in a rhythmic melody, like a heartbeat or the tick tock of a clock. William held my hand against his chest, tapping my fingers to the beat while deep voiced chants from the clansmen mirrored the symmetrical melody of the drums, a song of beautiful words sung in a different language.

  Stunning colors exploded everywhere, encircling the fire. Chanting men with painted faces danced in circles, their bold feathered headdresses bounced with every stomp and movement of their bodies. One man danced past me with his eyes closed. He had a passion and a connection, not only in his words, but also in his movements, a passion beyond my comprehension.

  As the men shook their spears and tomahawks, the women stood in a circle around them. Some watching and chanting themselves, though not as loudly, and some with their eyes closed.

  Strands of brightly colored beads hung from their animal skin dresses, bouncing and swaying with their hips to the music.

  Children sat around the dancers in groups ranging in ages, talking and laughing. All of the clan enjoyed their evening and all unknowing of my presence with the exception of Charlie who stood across the first pit from me, watching like a hawk. His expression spoke of the trouble that should fall upon me if I dared to step out of the trees.

  “Wait here,” William whispered in my ear.

  Each sight and sound, every ounce of raw tradition fascinated me, engaging emotions of happiness, and mixing the consuming sadness with the bitter, unbearable truth haunting me that I’ll never belong to the one place I desired the most.

  “Where are we going?” I asked as William returned, carrying a basket and a lantern.

  “It’s a surprise.”

  The night air was calm as we strolled through the trees and down a narrow pathway. He held my hand tight, helping me climb through fallen tree branches. Dirt, twigs, and gravel crunched under my shoes and echoed through the darkness. Water flowed in the distance—the sound grew louder into a deep thundering noise that couldn’t simply be just a creek rolling over rocks. Through the trees, the moonlight shone down onto a beautiful cascading waterfall, a perfect oasis.

  “You planned this,” I said, pointing to the blanket, bottle of whisky, and two glasses lying on the sandy beach. The mind-hazing whiskey I had already consumed throughout the last few hours exaggerated my coyness.

  “Perhaps,” he winked. “Can you hold this for me?”

  He handed me the lantern and gathered a few logs for a fire. My doubt and fear seemed to vanish watching him work. Comforting, protective, he desired to take care of me with patience and devotion—qualities, which I’d never in my life witnessed by a man. Sure, Daddy was a good man, but he was an absent father, obsessed with business and never had time for me—as a child, or now that I’m grown. He believed servants should provide my essentials, not him. Though George helped with the fatherly role, he was still one of Daddy’s slaves, working in the fields far too much for me to have real time with him.

  “You’re lost deep in thought,” William said, sitting next to me and pouring two glasses of whiskey.

  I dug my fingers deep into the sandy beach, and let the grains of sand fall through my fingertips. “I believe your childhood surpassed mine.”

  “I highly doubt that, Alexandra. Living in a grand house with servants tending to your every need sounds rather nice to me.” He lay on the sand and put his hands under his head. “Not having to work a single day in your life. I could live in a life such as that.”

  I laughed. “I suppose I appear to have a perfect, lazy life, but such is far from the reality. I’ve always dreamed of a life different from the one I live, the hollow void of pleasing my parents and acting as they wish. I’m not free to make any decisions on my own.”

  “Like with Mr. Ludlow?”

  I swigged a few gulps from my tumbler, trying to cope with the thought of me, standing in front of my mirror, dressed in my beautiful cotillion gown those long months ago. The picture left a bitter taste that not even the whiskey could erase. Although doubts overwhelmed me, the events symbolized an undesired life and an excitement I had held onto for the chance to meet Thomas. A foolish thought, when marrying him would’ve inevitably suffocated me.

  “And with you,” I admitted. “Facing the constant questions surrounding us is exhausting. One minute I don’t have a choice, and then the next minute, I don’t care and wish to do only what I want to do.”

  “And what is it that you want to do about us?” His fingers grazed my arm, sending chills down my spine.

  Unable to answer, I laughed, and the rest of the whisky flowed down my throat, an attempted and failed distraction from imagining his soft hands touching, and firm lips kissing, places where they had yet to be.

  What is wrong with me? No more whiskey, Alexandra.

  Focusing on the glow of the full moon reflected in the waterfall shook the thoughts from my head, bringing me back to this perfect night. The less than favored afternoon, now forgotten, and swept away by the enjoyment of the perfect moon and stars. William moved the two logs in the fire. The wood sparked and popped, and orange flecked ashes scattered, dropping in the sand and extinguishing their ember glow into black chalk, lighting brightly only for a few seconds in the breeze before the light was gone forever.

  “I never want to leave this place,” I said.

  “Me, neither.”

  He looked at me and smiled. Lost in the warmness of his chocolate eyes, I kissed him, and in my whiskey hazed state, my fingers began exploring his stomach and hips, determined to touch as much of his body as they could. With a sudden jerk, he pulled away, though, and gawked at me with wide, panicked eyes.

  “What are you doing?” he asked.

  “Why’d you pull away from me?”

  “We should return to the celebration.” He rose and walked a few steps to the creek, with his back facing me, and hands on his hips. Without a thought, I followed him and grabbed hold of his arm.

  “Are we obligated too?” I asked.

  He fidgeted for a moment before facing me with his full attention. “If we don’t leave, I don’t know if I can stop kissing you, and I’m afraid of what the kissing will lead to.”

  For a brief second I thought of returning to the fire, ignoring this perfect moment with this perfect man. However, to be honest, such was not what I wanted to do. Perhaps the whiskey stole my inhibitions, or perhaps for once in my life, I was simply allowing myself what I wanted.

  I circled around him, stepped in front of his body, and stood close to him. We stared at each other for a moment before I began to unbutton his shirt. He raised his hands, hovering them inches from mine, wanting to stop my fingers but not wanting to at the same time. His hesitation spurred the passion, spurred the intense heat between us.

  “Ecenokecvyet os,” he whispered.

  “In English please,” I laughed.

  “I love you.”

  His fingers reached for the ribbon on the front of my dress and delicately pulled the
bow apart. My heart pounded, beating against my ribs as the fabric loosened around my chest and shoulders.

  He took his shirt off, exposing his perfect chiseled chest. My hands shook as I reached for the strings on the waist of his pants. Untying them, I let his pants fall to the ground. I caught my breath and held it for a second. Firelight flecked off his caramel skin, his long hair waved in the gentle breeze. I traced the lines of his frame with my eyes, letting them burn deep into my memory. He stepped closer to my body—the heat and scent hypnotized me.

  His hands gently grabbed my shoulders and slid my dress down as he kissed my neck, and around my collar bone. My knees shook as his soft lips traced my bare skin. Closing my eyes overloaded my senses causing me to bite hard on my lower lip. He kneeled, undressing me completely, and tossed my clothes in the sand.

  He reached for my hands, helping me down onto his lap. His hands cradled the back of my head and drew me into a deeper kiss, and our kisses became more passionate than ever before, intoxicating to the point of unbridled and uncontrolled fever. Engulfed in his arms, I wanted nothing more than him.

  “Do you wish for me to stop?” he asked, his breath a hot whisper against my cool skin, nearly knocking me to the ground.

  “No,” I whispered, barely able to speak the word.

  Wrapping his arms around my waist he picked me up, laid me down into the sand, and followed my body with his. Every inch of his perfect body lay against mine, his skin smooth and soft. The world around us disappeared in the darkness, leaving us as the only two people on earth.

  Chapter 16

  “I dreamt of you all day,” I whispered.

  “And, I, you.”

  The night’s darkness disappeared as William wrapped his arms around me. For the past week, we’ve been together every single night, meeting in secret at midnight and parting at dawn—one glorious week in which I’ve loved every moment. For once, I could revel in the happiness of living my life for me and only me. My wants, my needs, my desires, all considered and honored. Even the daunting evening dinners with Mama and Daddy seemed bearable, at least, until Mama spoke of Thomas and his absence in effortless fervor, of course.

  Fortunately, Thomas’s busy schedule had been a blessing, keeping him far too occupied to call upon me. Or, at least it had, until this, unfortunate morning when an invitation from him arrived at the manor.

  “I have to attend a picnic with Thomas tomorrow. I’m sorry, William, but I don’t think I will be excused from going.” I said as Essiyetv weaved through the trees.

  “You don’t have to apologize, my love, I understand.”

  “I don’t want to—”

  He placed his finger gently against my lips. “I don’t wish to speak of Mr. Ludlow this evening,” he said. “In truth, I don’t wish to speak at all.” Unbuttoning the top buttons of my dress, he slid the material down, and began kissing every inch of my exposed neck and shoulders.

  “Stop, William,” I laughed and shook my shoulders away from his grip.

  “Do you really want me to stop?” he asked.

  No.

  “Yes, I do. I wanted to talk to you about the picnic.”

  “Why do I think you are lying?”

  Darn. Know-it-all.

  He unbuttoned several more buttons and moved the material off my shoulders, allowing his hands to wander where they pleased. Finally unable to control himself, he slid down off Essiyetv, grabbing my waist and pulling me into his arms. We hit the ground within seconds, both ripping buttons off each other’s clothes. Nothing sent my heart racing more than seeing his skin—all of it, and our bodies intertwined tighter with every heavy breath.

  Hours later, my fingers picked the twigs from my hair and wiped the dirt from my arms. “May I ask you to do something for me?”

  “I promise I’ll have a blanket from this time on,” he laughed.

  “Thank you. Explaining the dirt stains to Sarah hasn’t been pleasant.”

  I rolled over and lay on top of him, craving the warmth from his skin, while he slid his hands up both sides of my face and brushed my hair away from my eyes.

  “Alexandra, you’re so beautiful.”

  “And you’re so amazing,” I whispered.

  Lost in each other for the rest of the night we soon found the sun peeking over the horizon. Early morning dew had moistened our clothes, but they dried in the heat as we wasted as many hours as we could before reluctantly returning to the manor. Leaving William, and living separately from him, were the only times of my life I hated. Although, the dreaded afternoon tea times with Mama could compare, a little. Still, no matter her mood or conversation, being without William was far worse.

  “I’ve got some news to tell you,” William said, helping me off Essiyetv. “I wanted to wait until the night ended so we could enjoy our time together.” His serious and sad expression concerned me deeply.

  “You’re scaring me, William.”

  “Don’t be scared, my love. I’ve got to travel up north to a council meeting with my father. We’re leaving as soon as I return to the village and we’ll be gone for a couple of days.”

  “A couple of days?” I asked, fighting the disappointment.

  He hugged me with a tight embrace and lifted me off the ground, brushing his lips against my neck. “Please don’t be so sad. I know a couple of days seem like a long time, but I have to go.”

  “Is the meeting for business?”

  “I’ll tell you more when I return.”

  “What do you mean? Is everything all right?”

  “Don’t concern yourself with worrisome thoughts, my love. It’s simply a council meeting.”

  His nonchalance began to irritate me. I fidgeted with the buttons on my sleeve, uncertain in my ability to handle the answer to the question I feared to ask. Had the risk for William’s clan been too great? Had they traveled to distant elders requesting a council meeting about me?

  “Is the meeting regarding us being together?”

  He laughed. “No, my love, you and I won’t be discussed at the meeting. I’ll tell you more when I return.”

  “I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you too, but I’ll see you in a couple of days.” He climbed onto Essiyetv and leaned down, touching my chin as I gazed up at his perfect face. “Ecenokecvyet os.”

  “I love you, too. Please be safe in your travels.”

  “I will.”

  He shot me a heart skipping smile and rode off into the sunrise at a gallop. My heart sank as he disappeared into the trees. The sunshine left with him, and the darkness closed in, surrounding me and chilling my bones. Simply repeating his words, encouraging myself that he would soon return, seemed silly, like a battle with no victory or end. Why say them when the point remained that he was still gone?

  Sneaking through the back door, the grandfather clock in the great hall chimed ten times.

  Drat.

  In my sorrow, I’d forgotten that Thomas would be arriving soon to escort me to the picnic. I leaned against the wall and the back of my head thumped against the cool plaster. Surviving the next few days was bad enough, how would I survive an afternoon with Thomas and his band of cohorts?

  “Nathanial, we have a deal,” a voice echoed through the hallway from the foyer, sounding familiar, and sounding angry. I tiptoed to the doorway and listened from around the corner. “If the Confederate Army loses this war—”

  “Don’t think for one second I don’t know the ramifications if this country loses this war. If you think I desire to lose my Negroes, Thomas, you are as foolish as your uncle,” Daddy interrupted.

  “Don’t you dare bring my uncle into this conversation. He was not foolish, he was betrayed.”

  “He knew the price for his actions, and he chose the wrong person to trust. Your arrogance
is quite a hindrance, Thomas, a problem you need to rectify, quickly.”

  “President Davis cannot win this war, Nathanial, and you know it.”

  The two men were silent for several minutes. I inched a few steps closer to the doorway, keeping my breath as quiet as possible.

  “Why have you not proposed to Alexandra?” Daddy finally asked.

  My stomach flipped.

  “Are you implying your assistance depends on my proposal? Because you have too much at stake to—”

  “Marriage would provide a distraction for you. Give you a chance to calm down and relax. We have more to gain than to lose, but if we act too rashly, we could lose everything.”

  “And, you believe the distraction of a loveless marriage would relax me? Yes, I look forward to the adventure daily,” Thomas growled with disdain. “Your daughter offers me no affection, her kiss is passionless, her touch rigid as a stone. I do not think she wishes to become my wife.”

  “Do you not have feelings for her?”

  “I do, Nathanial, I do,” Thomas paused and sighed. “I care deeply for her.”

  “Why do you hesitate to marry her?”

  Thomas’s boots clicked against the hardwood as he paced. Daddy waited several seconds before asking his question again, with a more forceful approach than the first time. After several more attempts to gain Thomas’s answer, he finally asked with a deep demanding tone.

  “I love Emily,” Thomas shouted. “I love Emily, and I desire to marry her. All the stolen afternoons I have spent with her, the shared conversations, enjoyed meals, and social gatherings at her side. I fell in love with her, damn it.”

  My breath left my lungs as if I’d been punched, my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach, and a lump clogged my throat, choking me. Standing in the shadows, I only could muster one single thought: if he loved Emily, why was he courting me?