A Fire in the Heart

by L. J. LaBarthe

  “Oh, Mishka.” Gabriel moved closer and pulled Michael into his arms.

  “Forgive me.”

  “For what? There’s nothing to forgive you for.”

  “I have not been inclined toward more… physical expressions of our love since the events at the mountain.”

  Gabriel blinked, surprised. “Okay, but, why is that something I need to forgive you for? I totally understand it. I’m not about to chuck a tanty just ’cause you don’t want to have sex ’cause you’re worrying yourself into a legion of ulcers. I understand the worry, and there’s a damn good reason for it.”

  Michael leaned into him. “You are too good to me,” he said, his voice muffled against Gabriel’s chest. “Better than I deserve.”

  “Oh, bollocks, I am not. I love you, and I care about you. That doesn’t mean I’m too good or not good enough or what the fuck ever. It means that I love you and care about you.”

  “Language. In any event, I apologize, and I am grateful.”

  “Well, you don’t need to be either or do either. I get it.” Gabriel ran a hand down Michael’s back. “You need a shoulder to lean on right now, not a marathon sex session. I ain’t just in this relationship for the sex, you know.”

  Michael nodded. “I know. Thank you. And before you chastise me once more, I am thanking you because you understand and you are not, as you say, in this relationship solely for physical reasons.”

  “Okay, but….” Gabriel decided that he didn’t want to know the convoluted thought process that had led Michael to this train of thought. “Okay,” he said again.

  “Am I interrupting?” It was Raphael.

  “No, not at all,” Gabriel said. He smiled at Raphael. “Have a seat.”

  Michael had pulled out of Gabriel’s arms and schooled his features to calm. “Hello, Raphael. You are well?”

  “Yeah, I’m good. How are you two?”

  “As good as can be expected,” Michael said. “How fares Danny?”

  Raphael’s expression became one of wonder. “It’s the oddest thing,” he said, “but I think Iss may be onto something here. He’s still not awake,” Raphael went on, holding up a hand to forestall questions, “but he moved, which is a vast improvement over the last ten days.”

  “Moved?” Gabriel echoed. “How? In what way?”

  “He reacted to the music. His hands twitched, and then he bent his left leg at the knee, then straightened it again. This tells me that he is able to hear and comprehend the music that Iss is playing for him, and his brain is telling his body to react to it, and so he is. Iss is very encouraged by this and is experimenting with different speeds of music to see what precipitates more movement, but I am much more hopeful than I was yesterday.”

  Michael’s eyes were wide and full of hope. “Are you certain?”

  “It’s a good sign,” Raphael said. “I think he’ll pull through.”

  Michael nodded once and then buried his face in his hands. He was silent, but his shoulders were shaking, and Gabriel knew his beloved was weeping, tears of relief and outpouring of pent-up emotions, held too long in check by Michael’s own belief that he needed to be the stoic and resilient face for everyone in existence. Gabriel and Raphael exchanged a look that said all that was needed—they understood, they shared Michael’s worries, they felt for him—and Gabriel rested one hand on Michael’s shoulder in silent support and comfort. He knew that Michael wouldn’t accept a greater show of affection in front of Raphael anyway.

  “Have you told Lily?” Gabriel asked Raphael as Michael continued to soundlessly weep.

  “I did. She couldn’t believe it at first. I think she had started to convince herself that Danny wasn’t coming back. Despite what I and the Archdemons told her, I do think she was preparing herself for him to die and to follow him.” Raphael sighed. “I know that’s the mated shifter way. It doesn’t make it any easier to acknowledge.”

  “Aye,” Gabriel agreed. “What did Markus say?”

  “He was very surprised. Then he went to call Ondrass and let him know. I expect the Archdemons will be back very soon. Lily’s inside now, watching Danny and Israfel from the observation room. I don’t think it’s a good idea to let her in to sit with them yet—I think this idea of Iss’s needs to be done in a room where it’s just him and Danny. Mind,” and Raphael smiled ruefully, “Israfel was getting around to saying that anyway. I just preempted him.”

  Gabriel laughed at that. “One day, Iss’ll get from start to finish of a sentence without taking a week to get there.”

  Raphael laughed as well. “And we’ll know that things are very serious indeed, when that happens.”

  Michael cleared his throat then, and Gabriel looked sharply at him. Michael’s cheeks were tear-stained and his eyes were glassy, but his voice was calm and even when he spoke, and there were no other signs of his emotion. “I am glad to hear all of this, Raphael. Very, very glad. I shall hold off on informing the rest of Danny and Lily’s pack until he is awake, but this is a very encouraging step.”

  “I thought so too. Now, you two should go out and get something to eat. Enjoy an evening away from here, just walk among the humans and taste some good food. It’ll be good for your hearts and Graces.”

  “Is that a medical order?” Gabriel asked, quirking an eyebrow in amusement.

  “As a matter of fact, yes, yes it is.” Raphael got to his feet. “Chincoteague is a lovely little town, gentlemen. I’m sure you’ll enjoy an evening meal and a walk along the waterfront. Virginia is lovely this time of year anyway, even though it’s a little cooler than usual. There’s a steak restaurant and a wonderful seafood restaurant and everything in between.”

  Gabriel nodded. “That all sounds fantastic. What do you think, Michael?”

  Michael squared his shoulders and nodded. “I shall be guided by the both of you and do as you say. Perhaps a walk would help clear my head. And I am certain that watching Gabriel eat a vast meal would be a diversion.”

  Gabriel laughed. “Oh, you are so paying for that, baby.”

  Michael gave him a small smile. Gabriel knew that his lover was trying very hard to be positive, to keep an open mind and hope for the best. The information that Raphael had just brought them about Danny’s condition was good, certainly, but Danny was still unconscious, and so it wasn’t quite good enough. Gabriel knew that was how Michael would be thinking, unwilling to consider anything else lest he lapse again into tears. Michael’s emotions were always kept tightly in check, and for him to have wept as he had was, Gabriel knew, a very big deal indeed.

  So Gabriel held out his hand, and Michael took it, and they got to their feet. “Keep us informed if and when anything happens, yeah?” Gabriel asked Raphael.

  “Of course,” Raphael said. “Enjoy the town. I think you’ll both like it as much as I do.”

  “As you say,” Michael said.

  “C’mon, then,” Gabriel said. “Let’s go take a walk then go eat.”

  Michael gently squeezed his hand. “Lead on, and I will follow, Gabriel.”

  “He’s such a nice boy,” Gabriel said to Raphael. Raphael burst out laughing.

  “What a way to describe him!”

  “Do you mind?” Michael said with a sigh. “Come, Gabriel, let us explore the town and learn about its history.”

  “And pet a pony,” Gabriel said. He gave Raphael a quick wink of thanks as he led Michael away from the arbor and toward the gate that led out of the clinic’s grounds and into Chincoteague itself.

  “Pardon?”

  “You ain’t heard of the Chincoteague ponies? Oh, Mishka, you’re in for a treat.”

  “I… see. As you say.” Michael gripped Gabriel’s hand tightly as they reached the gate, and Gabriel used his power to open it rather than let go of Michael. “I am certain you are right.”

  “Aye, ’cause I’m always right,” Gabriel said, using his powers again to close the gate behind them once they’d stepped through and onto the pavement. “Now, which way shall
we go, left or right?”

  Michael looked up and down the street. “Left,” he said.

  “Left it is.” Gabriel let go of Michael’s hand and slid his arm around Michael’s shoulders. As always, when walking with Michael like this, Gabriel was delighted by how well they fit together, shoulder to shoulder, hip to hip. Michael was a little shorter than him, to be sure, but Gabriel felt that his side had been made for Michael to fill, just as his heart.

  They walked in silence, content to let the noise of the street fill the gap, and Gabriel breathed deeply of the sea air. It wasn’t as clear as it was on Belle Coeur, he thought, but he supposed that stood to reason seeing as the only beings living on Belle Coeur were himself and Michael.

  They ended up at the seashore and stopped, gazing out over the bright blue waters and watching the seagulls swoop and dive, cawing raucously to each other. Children ran on the sands, and even though it was not particularly warm, there were a few people braving the waters of the ocean to swim.

  “It is lovely here,” Michael said.

  Gabriel nodded. “Aye. A good place for a clinic. Sea air helps the healing process, so I’m told.”

  Michael smiled at that. “I suppose that it does.” His smile faded, and Gabriel saw the light of worry and anxiety grow in Michael’s eyes. “I do not know what to tell Danny’s family.”

  Gabriel let out a soft sigh. “I can do it, if you’d rather.”

  Michael shrugged. “Perhaps. He was—is—under my command, however.”

  “Aye, and if we want to get technical about it, so am I,” Gabriel said. “You’re my CO, remember.”

  Michael nodded but did not reply.

  “Anyway, it’s a bit premature, yeah? Let’s not jump the gun and freak out his fam before we know for sure from Raph what’s going on. We can speculate and guess and all of that until the cows come home, but we ain’t got concrete information to give them.”

  “I suppose. But, pardon, why are we concerned about cows coming home?”

  Gabriel burst out laughing. “It’s a saying, Mishka,” he said, between his peals of laughter. “It doesn’t really mean anything.”

  “I see.” Michael shook his head. “Human sayings are so confusing and contrary at times.”

  “Aye, but they’re good conversation fillers, too.” Gabriel gave Michael’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “You don’t want to stay out here long, do you?”

  “If it is no bother. I would prefer to return to the clinic to be on hand for Raphael.”

  “I understand, I do.” Gabriel took another deep breath of sea air, then turned away from the view. “Shall we head back now?”

  “Should we not have something to eat first? Raphael will scold us a great deal if we do not.”

  “I didn’t think you were that interested in food,” Gabriel said.

  “I am not. But I do not want to incur his anger.”

  “He won’t be angry. It’ll be fine. If you want to go back, we’ll go back.”

  Michael pursed his lips. “As you say,” he said finally, and Gabriel knew his lover was not entirely convinced. Before Michael could say anything else, however, his cell phone rang.

  Michael answered it calmly, and Gabriel watched the subtle change of emotions on his lover’s face as Michael listened to whoever was on the end of the line. He guessed it was Angelique—Michael’s expression was foreboding, and when he spoke, his voice was curt, clipped. There was a lot of “No,” and “I do not think this is a good idea,” and “I said no,” that gave Gabriel enough information to realize that whatever he was being told, Michael wasn’t pleased at all.

  Finally, though, Michael sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I do not think you will listen to me, anyway. You are determined to do this, so I suppose I cannot stop you. Keep me informed, please.” Then there was a moment’s silence, and Michael nodded and said, “As you say.” Then he ended the call.

  “Well?” Gabriel asked.

  “Angelique”—and Michael sighed, the heavy, put-upon sigh of one who has run out of options—“has decided that she and what remains of her pack and the two boys are to go to Maine to investigate the offices of the newly named TCC Corp. She is quite determined. She gave me a great many reasons why this was a good idea and why her pack should be the one to do this mission. In truth, I feel that she would have taken them with or without my consent and that this was merely a courtesy call.”

  “Angelique does move to the beat of her own drum,” Gabriel agreed. “So they’ve found out where the main offices are, then?”

  “They think they have. I am less certain. Nonetheless, if there is nothing there, then it will be something for them to do, and chasing shadows is far more preferable to them going into a danger zone unequipped.”

  “And if they’re right, and these are the offices?”

  “She promised me she would call me or you or Samael the instant there was any sign of trouble.” Michael sighed again. “I feel a headache coming on.”

  “Does that headache go by the name of Angelique?” Gabriel asked. Then he smiled slightly. “Let’s go back to the clinic. Raph will understand, especially when you tell him about Trouble’s phone call.”

  “As you say.” Michael’s lack of protest made Gabriel frown, but he didn’t comment on it. He could tell through the bond between them and the set of Michael’s shoulders and the way he’d clenched his jaws that Michael was too busy worrying about his Venatores to give much thought to potentially angering Raphael.

  Not that Raphael would be angry, Gabriel was sure of that. He decided to take Raphael aside when they were back at the clinic and have a brief word with him about stress relief. Michael was under a great deal of it, and he would, Gabriel thought, burn himself out if he did not give himself an outlet. The trouble with that, though, was that there were few things that Michael would agree to do in order to have that outlet. Maybe Raphael would have some ideas on that score as well. Gabriel hoped so. He hated seeing Michael like this: tense, worried, a little frightened, all of it focused on his Venatores to the extent that he let his own well-being slide.

  They retraced their steps, walking in silence, and as Gabriel closed the gate in the clinic’s wall behind them, he decided he’d seek out Raphael immediately. As Michael headed toward the wing where Lily sat waiting for Danny to come out of his coma, Gabriel watched his lover and frowned thoughtfully.

  “I’ll catch you up,” Gabriel called to Michael, and Michael nodded, not pausing as he walked. Gabriel’s frown deepened, but he turned on his heel and made his way toward the part of the building that housed Raphael’s office.

  Raphael was inside, seated at his desk and reading case notes. Gabriel tapped lightly on the open door, and Raphael looked up, giving Gabriel a weary smile.

  “Can I talk to you, Raph?” Gabriel asked. “Though it can wait if you’d rather; I can see you’re busy, and you look fuck exhausted.”

  Raphael waved him in, gestured to a seat opposite him, and smiled. “I am fuck exhausted, as you so eloquently put it. Israfel is still playing, and Danny is still reacting, slightly, to his songs.”

  “That’s good news, ain’t it?” Gabriel asked, sitting in the indicated chair.

  “Yes, I suppose, but it’s not enough. Reacting is fine, but he is still resistant to coming out of the coma. Anyway,” Raphael gave Gabriel another tired smile, “what did you want to talk to me about?”

  Gabriel got straight to the point. “Mike’s wearing himself out with stress,” he said. “He’s so tense that I reckon I could smash rocks just by using his shoulders as hammers. He’s worrying himself into a legion of ulcers, and he got a call from Angelique about half an hour ago that didn’t help matters.” He filled Raphael in on the subject of Angelique’s call.

  Raphael was frowning when Gabriel finished. “I see. Well, you’re right, of course, he is heading toward a burnout or, worse, a breakdown. One can only endure a certain amount of shocks before something breaks, Gabriel, and that has nothing to
do with whether one is an angel, a demon, a shifter, a human, a dryad, or any other kind of monster. The mind is an amazing, resilient thing, but too much stress will affect anyone. Naturally, there are different levels of stress that everyone deals with, so no one is the same. Which doesn’t help Michael. I would suggest that you take him to the gym around the corner, get him to do some workouts. That would help. Exercise is a great aid in treating many things, but it isn’t the be all and end all. He won’t talk about it, will he?”

  Gabriel snorted. “Between us, I’m damn amazed he’s said this much to me as it is. You know Michael. He hates talking about what he thinks of as his weaknesses.”

  “And talking about anything else, for that matter,” Raphael said. “All right. Start with getting him to do some workouts. I know he’s worrying about the Venatores, but there really is nothing he or anyone else can do. As for Angelique going to Maine, well, the two boys answer to you, don’t they? Liam and Declan?”

  Gabriel nodded.

  “Good. Then call Declan and tell him your misgivings and make him understand that Angelique isn’t to go in anywhere with her guns blazing or her fangs bared, snarling in rage. Tell him this is an intel mission only—that is, watch and observe, do not engage, surveillance is key.”

  Gabriel grinned. “That’s a damn good idea, Raph. I’ll do that now.”

  Raphael grinned in return. “Happy to help, Gabe.”

  Gabriel fished his cell phone from his pocket and dialed Declan’s number; it rang a few times before he heard the gravelly tones of Declan’s voice in his ear.

  “Hey, Gabe. You heard we’re off to Maine, then, huh?”

  “I sure did. I’m giving you and Liam some orders, and if you break ’em, I’ll be fucking pissed.”

  Declan swallowed audibly, and Gabriel smirked to himself. “Yes, sir.”

  “Right. This is a surveillance mission only. Do not engage. If Angelique tries to tell you that she outranks you, you tell her no. Michael is incapacitated right now due to stress, so I’m acting CO. If she doesn’t like that, she can take it up with me, but warn her that I’m much nastier than Mike is. I’m more likely to ground her for six months and mojo all her planes and choppers so they won’t fly for her.”