A Fine Mess

by Hughes, Breanna

  Finn chuckled nervously, obviously too focused on his own agenda to notice the tension between the two girls. “No, not exactly.”

  Harper, still sitting on her boyfriend’s lap, looked back at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Good. You know I’d have a fit if you ever spent that much money on me.” She leaned in and whispered, “But you did get me something, right?”

  Finn smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, I did.” He looked over at Harper’s parents, who smiled and nodded, anxiously awaiting Finn’s next move. He took a deep breath, started to get up and sat Harper down back in her spot. “Um…well, Harper…I…I talked to your mom and dad and…um…,” Finn took a moment to compose himself. He walked over past the Christmas tree and reached behind to pick up his present to his girlfriend he had hidden earlier that morning. He walked back over to her, took in one more deep breath, and got down on one knee in front of her. “Harper, I love you more than I ever thought I could be capable of loving someone. I met you and everything in my life started making sense. And I knew why I was here and why you were brought into my life.” Finn paused a moment to regain his composure. He was trying extremely hard not to let his voice crack. “I know we’re young and I know you still have another semester left of school. But I’m willing to wait. I’ll wait for you as long as you want me to. As long as you do me the honor of one day becoming your husband.” He brought the ring box up to her and opened it revealing a half-carat diamond ring. “Will you marry me?”

  Harper sat there, her mouth half open, almost in shock over what just happened. “I…uh…” She was completely taken aback. Guitar strings and a tuner, she was expecting, but this…this was definitely a surprise.

  Finn had a smile plastered on his face. Harper simply couldn’t resist that beaming look on his face and she smiled right along with him.

  She nodded. “Yes. Of course.”

  Finn jumped up and pulled Harper up to hug her. He held her tighter than he’d ever held her before, not wanting to let go. It was by far the best moment of his life.

  ***

  “So what’s wrong with me? Am I depressed, or something?” asked Finn.

  “Do you feel depressed?”

  “I don’t know,” he sniffled. “I guess I just feel shut off. Like I can’t allow myself to feel anything, otherwise it’ll hurt too much. I just feel so stupid for proposing. And for not seeing that maybe her heart wasn’t in it.” Finn cleared his throat, which was cracking from the little sobs he was giving off. “I’m sorry.”

  Dr. Harris reached for the box of Kleenex on her desk and handed it to Finn. “For what? Crying?”

  Finn nodded in embarrassment and tried to stifle the sound when he blew his nose.

  “Have you cried since the breakup?”

  Finn wadded up the used tissue in his hand. “The night it happened. I was blindsided. It seemed to have come out of nowhere. So I cried because I didn’t know what else to do. But this is the first time since then.”

  “Well that’s good,” encouraged Dr. Harris. “That’s progress. You’re getting in tune with your emotions instead of avoiding them. It’s a step in the right direction.”

  Finn let out a cynical chuckle. “It feels like I’m regressing.”

  Finn’s tears started to let up. He wasn’t used to this. He wasn’t the type of guy who expended a lot of emotion over things. A lot of it had to do with his upbringing. He grew up the son of a typical middle class family in Ohio. His father taught him early on to suppress any pain or sadness. It started when Finn was in first grade and a bully had been threatening him. One day, Finn had enough of the bullying and pushed his aggressor back into the swing set on the playground. It was a brave move, but unfortunately, not a wise one because his tormentor rallied back with a punch to Finn’s nose. He ran home crying, mortified over what had happened. His father sat him down and told him that crying was for weak men and that he was proud of his son for standing up to the bully, but not happy knowing he cried all the way home. After that, Finn did everything in his power to keep from crying during stressful or upsetting situations. He was unsuccessful at times because he was only human. However, he couldn’t help feeling guilty over what his father might say if he ever witnessed him shedding a tear.

  Finn managed to survive his grade school years, despite that pesky bully and grew up into a fine young man that would make any parent proud. He moved to California to study business and graduated Cum Laude with an MBA from USC, and now works as the head sales manager for one of the top case manufacturing companies in the country. He sold cases of every kind: guitar cases, drum kit cases, p.a. system cases, sports equipment cases, shipping cases. He took the job because it was sort of a common ground for him and Harper. Though they got along great and loved each other very much, they didn’t have a lot of the same interests. He figured this would be minor way of having some sort of common bond since she loved music and he sold music equipment. He had even supplied her with a few free guitar cases over the years. After starting the job right out of college and quickly moving his way up, he now felt stagnate with where he was professionally. His boss loved him and he couldn’t complain about the pay, but nothing seemed as good as it was when he had Harper to come home to every day. His professional career didn’t seem to matter as much to him as long as he had her. He felt everything else in life was inconsequential. It’s a mistake he has grown to regret. He never should have allowed his entire life to revolve around another person and he was determined to not let it happen again. And if that meant crying in front of a woman he’s only met a few times, then so be it.

  “I just don’t like it when she’s in pain,” remarked Finn.

  Dr. Harris crossed her left leg over her right and leaned forward. “Well, does she care about you when you’re in pain?”

  “Yes. Well, obviously not right now, but she did. She really is a good person. She’s just had a lot on her mind lately. It’s not her fault.”

  “I understand that, Finn. I do. And I’m not trying to vilify anyone in any way. I’m just trying to help you gain some perspective on a post-breakup relationship.” She put down her clipboard. “Tell me, why would she be in pain? What’s going on with her?”

  “Well, a lot has changed for her over the past couple years. And recently, she’s been having issues with her sister.”

  “Her sister? What’s going on between them?”

  “Well, nothing. That’s just it. Her sister took off almost two years ago and hasn’t been heard from since. Harper tried looking for her. We all tried, but I guess she just didn’t want to be found. And Harper’s been thinking about her lately. A lot, from what I understand. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that two years ago—”

  “Dr. Harris, sorry to interrupt you.” The door flung open so quickly, a gust of wind blew through the office.

  Dr. Harris turned around and responded curtly. “I’m with a patient. What is it?”

  Sarah, Dr. Harris’ receptionist, hesitated for a moment. “I’m sorry, it’s just…he’s on the phone. You told me to tell you if he called…”

  “Okay, okay. Thank you. I’ll get it.”

  Sarah backed up out the door. “Okay. Line two.” The door closed behind her and Dr. Harris turned back around to face Finn.

  “I’m so sorry. I have to take this. It’ll just be a minute.” She walked over to her desk, picked up the phone and smiled at Finn. “Don’t worry. I won’t charge you.”

  Finn gave her a half smile and sat patiently, trying not to listen in on her phone call.

  “Hi…I’m surprised you even called…Yes, I know…I know, but that’s no excuse to…Steven, I’m not going to argue with you about this.” She turned away, put the phone receiver closer to her mouth and began to whisper. “Because it’s your responsibility, too…Well, I’m having a hard time believing you…”

  All the way from the couch, Finn could hear the muffled voice on the other end of the phone. Whoever it was did not sou
nd happy.

  “You’re five months behind…I’m doing what I can, but I need…No. No, that’s not acceptable…No, you promised me you’d…Steven, don’t hang up. Don’t hang up…can you at least give me a number where I can…Hello? Hello?” Dr. Harris sighed and hung up the phone. She came back around to sit in her chair. “I’m so sorry about that. You shouldn’t have had to witness that. Anyway, you were saying?”

  “What was that?”

  “Nothing. It was nothing. Just some unfinished business.”

  “Sounded pretty intense.”

  “Yeah. Well I like intensity. It spices things up.” She nervously grabbed her clipboard and pen and began tapping her foot on the floor.

  Finn took this moment to fully take in Dr. Harris’ wardrobe. He hadn’t really noticed before because he was too busy focusing on himself and his problems, but now that he really looked at her, he realized she brought casual Friday to a whole new level. Her yoga pants and ribbed tank top were accessorized with her gray sneakers. It was a rather odd way for a professional woman to dress, whether it was Friday or not.

  She noticed he was gawking at her garb and she looked down at what she was wearing. “Oh, I have a yoga class after this. I hope you don’t mind me being so informal.”

  “You take yoga?”

  Dr. Harris grinned. “No,” she replied sheepishly. “I mean, I have…twice. But that was about all I could handle. I just told you that because it seems like a more legitimate reason. But I’m actually going paintballing after this. I try not to schedule anything past noon on Fridays, but I made an exception for you.”

  “Paintballing?” Finn was stunned. That was not the explanation he was expecting at all.

  “Yeah. I’m in a paintball league in Pasadena. We meet up every Friday.”

  Finn was taken aback by her response. This wasn’t the type of woman he figured would go paintballing on a regular basis. It was then he realized he really didn’t know that much about the woman who was listening to his problems every week. For all he knew, she could be a raging alcoholic or an ex-con posing as a psychiatrist in an attempt to extort people. Finn talked himself out of those thoughts when he regarded the diplomas and certificates all over her wall. He also remembered she came highly recommended by one of his co-workers. So he decided to give her the benefit of the doubt, despite the fact that she seemed to be somewhat of an oddball. He actually found that rather comforting.

  “I can’t say I’ve ever been paintballing,” remarked Finn.

  “Really? Oh, you should try it. It’s so much fun and a great way to relieve stress.”

  Finn found it charming that Dr. Harris’ eyes lit up when talking about her extracurricular pastime. “I prefer playing videogames.”

  “Well, maybe there’s a paintballing video game. Then we could go head-to-head.”

  Finn laughed, “I’d school you.”

  “We’ll have to see about that. You should come paintballing with me.”

  Finn froze for a moment. He definitely wasn’t expecting that. “Really?”

  He sensed that Dr. Harris immediately regretted suggesting such a thing, likely reminding herself that she was the doctor, and he was a patient. She sat up straight and began to tap the pen on her clipboard.

  “Uh…well, on second thought, that probably wouldn’t be appropriate. I apologize for that. But, you should maybe think about taking up another hobby. Something besides video games to get your mind off of the breakup. And to keep yourself sane.”

  Finn could tell Dr. Harris was slightly mortified, but he didn’t see the big deal about it.

  “I’ll think about it. I used to be an excellent badminton player.”

  Dr. Harris was avoiding eye contact at all costs. “Really?”

  Finn shook his head. “No. Never played badminton. But I used to have some good bowling skills.” He noticed Dr. Harris was still a little uncomfortable about what she said and decided to cut the tension by keeping up the conversation; a first for them since she’s usually the one who has to twist his arm to talk. “So how did you get into paintballing?”

  Dr. Harris discontinued the tapping on her clipboard. “I know. It’s odd. A forty-three-year-old gun-toting woman running around in a field picking off unsuspecting paintballers one by one. And yes, in case you were wondering, I’m awesome at it.”

  “Impressive.”

  “I know. You should be thankful I’m your psychiatrist. You’d be hard pressed to find anyone cooler. In all seriousness, though, a friend of mine took me for my fortieth birthday, just as a joke. She said it was either that or skydiving and skydiving was way too expensive for her and this way, we could keep our feet on the ground. Little did she know, I actually had a knack for it. Impeccable aim. It was the most fun I’d had in a long time.”

  Finn leaned in, very interested in Dr. Harris’ story. “And how does that make you feel?”

  “Very funny,” she scoffed. “It makes me feel just fine, thank you. But enough about me. Let’s get back to you. What happened to Harper and her sister two years ago?”

  Finn was hoping she wouldn’t come back to this. It was a long story and there was no way he could tell it within the next eighteen minutes of his remaining time. “Believe it or not, I kind of don’t feel like talking about Harper right now.”

  Dr. Harris began writing on her clipboard.

  “What are you writing?” asked Finn.

  “I’m marking the date and time. I’m thinking this is a first for you.”

  Finn shook his head and heaved a sigh. Of course he managed to find the most frustrating head doctor in all of Los Angeles.

  ***

  After his appointment, Finn headed straight home feeling vulnerable and a little more exposed than he was comfortable with. He knew it was a positive thing that he was being more open and forthcoming with Dr. Harris, but it scared him knowing that someone besides Harper was beginning to see past his exterior. The whole way home, he was debating on whether or not he would go back to therapy. Still, in the back of his mind he couldn’t stop thinking about the quasi-invitation he got from Dr. Harris, and began to regret not going paintballing. Though it was rather crisp outside due to the impending fall weather, the sun was still shining with hardly a cloud in the sky. It would have been a nice day to spend outside getting some much-needed exercise. That was one thing he missed about Harper. She always stayed in the best shape she could, which made him want to do the same. Lately however, that’s all gone out the window. Depression can take a serious toll on one’s body, and it was nearly impossible for Finn to get motivated to do much of anything anymore.

  Finn got out of his car, and walked toward his apartment complex, absentmindedly twirling his key ring around his finger. He was so immersed in his thoughts, he paid no attention to his surroundings and before he knew it, he was on the third floor of his apartment building. He had no recollection of walking up the stairs, but he came back to reality just in time before he nearly stumbled over someone sitting on the floor, leaning against his doorway. He came to an abrupt stop and studied what exactly it was that was preventing him from entering his apartment. It didn’t take long to realize it was a young woman who was sleeping at his door with a jacket draped over her. He had no idea who she was waiting for and wondered if she had the wrong place.

  While looking her over, for a split second, his heart jumped when he briefly thought that maybe it was Harper sitting out in the cold, waiting for him to come home so they could talk. That was short-lived, however when he knelt down and discovered it wasn’t her. He gently brushed his hand against her arm. The girl began to stir, finally opening her eyes and squinting at the man hovering over her. She pulled the jacket off of her and sat up straight without taking her eyes off of him.

  “Finn?”

  Instead of jumping, Finn could swear his heart stopped beating altogether when he became eerily aware of why he thought the young woman was Harper. She sounded just like her and
had the same piercing blue eyes. Finn cocked his head to one side and examined the girl in front of him. Her clothes were slightly worn and tattered. A mini skirt, tights with holes in them and tennis shoes weren’t the best choice for the chilly weather. Her hair was dark, almost black, but Finn could tell it was dyed because of the obvious blonde roots that were growing in. She was wearing layer upon layer of makeup, including dark lipstick and thick mascara that was smudged from her eyes tearing up because of the cold. This girl looked like she’d been to hell and back. After perusing the girl a little longer, Finn could see through the makeup, the clothes, and the hair and realized who this young girl was.

  “Oh, my God. Emily?”

  CHAPTER 9

  Finn took a couple steps back trying to comprehend exactly what was happening. After two years of futile searching, making endless phone calls, and putting up missing person fliers, he refused to believe Emily could be back in their lives just like that. It just seemed too easy and felt somewhat anticlimactic after all the effort they put in trying to find her. He stood there, his mouth half gaping open, his heart racing with a thousand questions running through his mind. Emily got up, tucked her jacket under her arm, and picked up her bag.

  “So, are you gonna let me in? I’ve been out here for a while.”

  Finn nodded while struggling to find his apartment key. He tried to keep his hands from visibly shaking, but his nerves were making it difficult. Once he got the door open, he allowed Emily to go in first. He closed the door behind him as Emily dropped her bag on the floor and looked around Finn’s modest abode.

  “Hmm…”

  “What?” asked Finn.

  “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  Finn stood in the middle of his living room as Emily gave herself a tour of his one-bedroom apartment. There were too many questions swirling around in his head. It was only a matter of time before he had to vocalize them.

  “Where have you been?”