Lord Conrad’s Lady

by Leo Frankowski

  As we entered the ducal chamber, Duke Henryk was sitting behind the desk that he had used so many times before, that he himself had once ordered made in imitation of the one Conrad had given to the bishop. But it was a chamber that had been promised to Baron Wiktor by my husband, in a castle that no longer belonged to Henryk!

  “Welcome to Wawel Castle, your grace,” Baron Wiktor said.

  “You bid me welcome, Wiktor? To my own castle?”

  “Yours no longer, your grace. The seyms have elected Conrad duke of Little Poland, and of Sandomierz and Mazovia as well.”

  “The nobles of Cracow all swore fealty to me,” Henryk said. I could see that this would go as badly as I had feared.

  “True, your grace,” Baron Wiktor said, “but since that time, you abandoned the city to the Mongols, and the men who swore to you have been killed almost to a man. The nobles and burghers who are left would never obey one whom they think has betrayed them, and Conrad is now duke. ”,

  “So I have been told by the churlish louts, may their souls be damned! I never abandoned Poland!”

  “Yet you were not here when the city was attacked, your grace. Duke Conrad was.”

  “He was here in disobedience of my orders! I told him to come to me in Legnica!”

  “He could not obey you, your grace. Your battle plan was foolish, and he had to obey a higher power.”

  “What higher power? I was his liege lord!”

  “Your grace, can you possibly have forgotten the night five years ago when you and he and I, along with three dozen others, stood vigil in the mountains? Can you have forgotten that morning when God Himself put a holy halo about each of our heads and blessed the work that we were going to do? Can you have forgotten that you yourself knelt before Conrad and were knighted by him into our Holy Order of the Radiant Warriors?”

  Duke Henryk was cringing before the baron’s onslaught. I was surprised to see Baron Wiktor standing up to the duke so forcefully, so masterfully. There was more to the man than I had suspected, and he wasn’t through with the duke yet!

  “You must have forgotten, for when the time came for us to do the work that God had ordained, you went and came up with a silly battle plan without even consulting with the man who headed your own order. You had a fine time writing and consulting with every king and duke in Christendom, but you had never a word for the man with the finest army in the world! The man whom God chose to do the job! So you sat and hid in Legnica while Conrad fought the war without you, and now you have the gall to sit in his castle as if the spoils of that war were yours to take!”

  “There was sickness in our camp. The foreign troops were slow in arriving. We could not advance,” the duke said weakly.

  “The sickness could have been avoided had you heeded Conrad’s book on camp sanitation. We had no sickness! And to hell with the foreign troops! We didn’t need them!”

  “Well, the foreign knights have now been sent to Hungary to aid our allies in accordance with my agreement with King Bela. More than half of my own men went with them as well.”

  “Good, your grace. We no longer need them. What remains to be seen is whether or not we need you any longer, either! ”

  “You threaten me, Baron Wiktor?”

  “No, your grace. I merely suggest that when you meet with my liege lord, Duke Conrad, you assume a properly grateful attitude. He, not you, saved the country, and he, not you, commands here. Remember that he now controls half of Poland, and he could take the other half by force at any time if he was minded to!”

  “I… I will bear your words in mind, Baron Wiktor. If you’ll excuse me, Duchess.” And with that, Duke Henryk left the chamber, his back bent.

  “Baron, you were magnificent,” I said as soon as the door closed. I couldn’t resist throwing my arms around him!

  “I merely spoke the truth,” Wiktor said as he disengaged himself and sat behind the desk. “Duke Conrad has made me his deputy here, and I would have failed him if I had let someone else usurp that power. Please be seated, my duchess. Our lord can’t be too much longer with his confessor.”

  Chapter Twenty

  FROM THE DIARY OF CONRAD STARGARD

  My session with Bishop Ignacy was one of the longest that we ever spent together, and the vespers bell rang long before we were done. We had supper sent up to us, and my confession continued well into the night. With most priests, confession is a fairly short, perfunctory affair, but it is never so with Bishop Ignacy. I was deeply troubled, and he took all the time that was necessary to dig into all the bloody, crowded doings of the last month.

  In the end he gave me his usual scolding about my sexual affairs, but absolved me completely for all that had happened in the course of fighting the Mongols, and for the Lubinska business as well. I felt clean for the first time since we had headed out for war. Clean, but still I bore scars within that would always be with me.

  When we were through, I said, “By the way, what did you think of those inquisitors that I had sent to you, Father?”

  “What inquisitors? I have met no one from the Holy Inquisition. ”

  “Well, the day before we marched out to war against the Mongols, two members of the inquisition came to speak to me. ”

  “And what did they have to say?”

  “I’m not at all sure, Father. You see, neither of them could speak Polish, and I can speak neither Italian nor Latin. Furthermore, they had apparently been forbidden to speak of the matter with anyone else but me, so they could not explain the thing to our translator. Also, you have forbidden me to talk about my transportation to this century with anyone but you, Father. Therefore, I made sure that they had a good map to Cracow and directions on how to get here and told them that they should talk to you. Now you say that they never got here. ”

  “Well, that’s reasonable enough, seeing as how you probably gave them one of your ‘army maps’ with south at the top and everything else topsy-turvy. No wonder they got lost! Everybody knows that east belongs at the top of a map! After all, the Garden of Eden was in the east, and we are all descended from Adam and Eve, who lived there. Since we are descended from the east, it must be above us, and therefore it belongs at the top of the map. It’s perfectly logical!”

  “Yes, Father. So you haven’t seen them?”

  “No, and by this time I think it unlikely that they will arrive. They have either been killed by the Tartars or they are going back to Rome in disgust! Now I will have to write a formal letter of inquiry, explaining what little I know of this matter and asking what happened to the inquisitors. ”

  “Yes, Father. Could you please ask them to send someone who speaks the language next time?”

  “Good night, Conrad.”

  A sleepy castle page showed me the way up to the suite that had been reserved for me, the duke’s apartment. I found that Francine was already asleep, but Sonya was waiting up for me, good little servant that she was.

  In the morning, bathed and shaved, I was having breakfast, when Francine joined me.

  “Good morning, Francine. You slept well?”

  “Yes, my love, though perforce alone.” Sonya brought us some more sausages and hotcakes, and I could tell that Francine was trying to ignore her. She had accepted Cilicia and had offered me her own maids on occasion, yet she didn’t seem to like me having one of my own, somehow. Oh, well. Women are strange. It was best to ignore the situation and wait for the horse to sing.

  “Well, you were sleeping when I got back. I didn’t see any point in waking you.”

  “You took so long in confession?”

  “I had a lot to confess. Millions of people are dead because of me,” I said.

  “And many millions more yet live because of your diligence and prowess. Have I ever told you how much the whole of Christendom owes you?”

  “Hmph. I’m just a man who’s trying to do his job.”

  “Then there is more work yet for you to do, my love. Duke Henryk is in the castle.”

  “And we
’re in his old room. I guess I’ll have to have it out with him today, though I can’t say that I’m looking forward to it.”

  “Much of the way has been cleared for you, my love. Baron Wiktor and I talked long with him yesterday. There is much to the baron that I had not seen before.”

  “He’s a good man, though his brother Gregor is the truly wise one of that bunch. That’s why I’m giving Gregor command of Mazovia. Sonya, would you please go to Duke Henryk and ask him when it would be convenient for him to talk with me today? And, uh, put a dress on first. Henryk has this problem with feminine skin. ”

  “Wait!” Francine said as Sonya was about to leave. “is that wise, my love? You command here, and you should tell him when it would please you to meet. And if it pleases you to have your wenches nearly naked, you should not change your custom to suit a visitor.”

  I shook my head and said, “Okay. We’ll compromise.”

  “Sonya, ask the duke if he would join me here for dinner at noon and don’t bother dressing up for the occasion. After that, tell the cooks to have a meal for two sent up at three sharp and remind them that I fired the head cook at Sandomierz. You know my tastes in food.”

  As she left, I said, “Satisfied?”

  “With you, always, my love. You might want to dress in one of your army uniforms to remind the duke of your bond with him and the fact that you head the Order of the Radiant Warriors. ”

  “As you will.” It takes so little to keep her happy sometimes.

  I spent part of the morning with Baron Wiktor, getting things organized in Cracow, and then saw a delegation of the city fathers.

  They wanted me to redesign the lower city for them, since it had mostly been burned to the ground. Yet at the same time, they wanted to start rebuilding immediately, without waiting to install sewers and water mains. And once we got into it, they didn’t want a new street layout, either, since that would mean that all the existing building plots would change, and who would know who owned what? Somehow they wanted me to bless it and make it all better, but not to change anything!

  My own private thought was that it would be easier to simply build a new city. As for the old one, well, there had been a half yard of organic fertilizer on the ground there for centuries. If they would put a plow to it, they’d have the richest farmland in the world! But I couldn’t tell them that, so I told them to think over what they really wanted and promised to meet with them later.

  I knew that in the end what we would do was come up with some new building codes, requiring fireproof materials for the walls at least, and plan to put in the utilities later in a piecemeal fashion, the way things are normally done. It would be more efficient to build from scratch, but there wasn’t time. The people of Cracow had to have a place to live now. But best for them to come to that realization for themselves.

  I had Natalia make a note to tell the factories to get into full production of all building materials as soon as possible. She was Baron Gregor’s wife and would soon be leaving me to join him at his new post in Plock. She was trying to train one of the other girls to take her place, but she had been with me for nine years, and training a replacement to know what I wanted without being told every little thing wasn’t easy.

  It was a pleasant spring day, and I had lunch set up on one of the battlements that served as a balcony. I was surprised to see that the duke also wore one of our red and white army dress uniforms, probably for the same reason that I did. Francine had been right again.

  “Welcome, your grace,” I said. “Have a seat.”

  “Thank you, your grace,” he said, looking pale from his recent illness. “I want to start by offering you my apology. I formulated a poor battle plan without your advice and consent. I ordered you to follow it even though you knew that it was foolish. And in anger, I have not answered your many letters and messages. For these things I ask your forgiveness.”

  “I accept your apology, your grace. I, too, need to apologize, since I deliberately disobeyed your direct orders. But let’s just say that these unpleasant things never happened. ”

  “Done. And since we now are both of the same rank, wouldn’t equals speech be more appropriate?”

  “Right you are, Henryk. Much has happened since our last meeting. It’s been almost half a year.” Sonya and three of the castle servants brought in our food and set the table. While it was a warm day for the season, it wasn’t run-around-in-half-a-bathing-suit warm, and I could see her tiny nipples harden up in the breeze. I waved her back into the building with the other servants.

  “True, Conrad, and that is entirely too long. Where should we begin?”

  “Well. I suppose that you have heard that Count Lambert fell fighting the Mongols. I was there, and before he died, he told me that I was his heir and that you had approved it. Is this true?”

  He looked down at his plate. “Oh, yes, you inherit his lands and much more besides. Did you know that Lambert’s brother, Count Herman, also died?”

  Lunch consisted of breaded chicken, deep-fried in a pressure cooker A la Colonel Sanders, with French fries and coleslaw. And bottled beer with some fizz in it. No coffee or Coke, alas. Henryk didn’t seem to know how to handle the chicken, so I picked up a drumstick to show him that eating with the hands was proper for this exotic dish.

  “No, I didn’t, although I knew that Herman’s wife was dead.”

  “Count Herman died of the sickness that struck my camp at Legnica. Now, do not tell me about your book concerning camp sanitation measures. I am well aware of it. I had my own knights follow your suggestions to the letter, but I was unable to control the foreign troops that well. They insisted on doing things as they always had, and disease spread among them the way it always does. And then, of course, my own men caught it. As best as I can determine, Count Herman died just a few hours before his brother did, and the count’s wife was killed a half day before that. Therefore, Herman inherited his wife’s share of their estates, and Lambert inherited them before his death. This means that they all come down to you. You are now Count of Cieszyn as well as Count of Okoitz!”

  “Wow. I’d certainly never expected that,” I said.

  “It is also possible that you have inherited Lambert’s extensive Hungarian estates as well, since his daughter has not been heard from since she left, and I understand that the fighting in Hungary has been fierce. I do not think that they were hit with as many Tartars as you were, however. The number of enemy heads on pikes along your railroad tracks would be unbelievable had I not seen them with my own eyes. ”

  “I wish I could help the Hungarians out, but my foot soldiers would be almost helpless without the railroads, and there are none in Hungary. You know, I once tried to get King Bela to let me run a line down into his country and to put some steamboats on his rivers, but he refused me permission to do it. As to the heads you saw, well, they represent not one in twelve of the Mongols we killed. Before you go back west, we must visit the major battlefields here. Then I’ll show you heads!”

  “We must do that. As to King Bela, well, if he lives out the war, he will be less arrogant in dealing with you. But these are all trivial matters compared with what we really have to talk about. You know that my father spent his life trying to unite the country, and that I have done all that I can to continue his work. I now hold all of western Poland, except for the seacoast of Pomerania. You hold all of the cast except for what is held by the Teutonic Order-”

  “The Crossmen were sworn to my predecessor, in theory at least, and they’ll damn well swear to me or leave bleeding!” I said.

  “Well put! I think together we would have little trouble getting the Pomeranians back into the fold, as well. And we must be together!”

  “Indeed. I agree.”

  “Good. Well, then. I came here to offer you my oath of fealty, Conrad. You will be the first king of Poland in a hundred years!”

  “Hmph, And what if I don’t accept your oath?”

  “What? How can you say that? Af
ter all this, you mean to humiliate me further?”

  “Not at all. I’m just saying that under certain conditions I would be willing to swear to you!” I said.

  “Do you actually mean that? Why? You have the power now, not I! Why would you do such a thing?”

  “Because I don’t want to be a king! I’m not even very thrilled about being a duke. I’m a technical man, an engineer. I have no training in law, or politics, or sovereignty! I don’t like sitting in judgment over other human beings. I don’t even like sitting at the high table of a banquet! Sovereignty is a job that you have been training for all of your life, and you’re welcome to it! I want to be free to get back to work at developing industry here, and I want you to take over all the other trivia for me.”

  “You would be a craftsman and call the crown trivia?”

  “Yes, because it is! In the long run my job will be far more important than yours. ”

  “Well, if that is truly your wish, then so be it. But a moment ago you said ‘under certain conditions.’ What conditions did you have in mind?”

  I pulled out a list from my breast pocket.

  “Well, first off, I’ll stay in charge of the army. My forces will be the only military forces in Poland, and all other forces will be either disbanded or merged with the army over the next six years. I’ll pay for the army myself, but that’s the only thing I’ll pay for. There will be no other taxes on me.”

  “Granted, although disbanding the feudal levies will be no easy feat. What else?”

  “I’ll have to stay Duke of Sandomierz, Little Poland, and Mazovia. Frankly, the people here wouldn’t have you directly in command, and these areas will be underpopulated for some time, anyway. But I don’t want the dukedoms to be hereditary. If they were, there’s a good chance that your heirs and mine would come to blows, and that’s best avoided now. ”