Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys)

by Pelton, Kristi

  “Well, you need to know. This guy’s a jackass.”

  I swallowed some water to help the noodles along then scooted my chair back from the table and tossed my breadstick onto my plate. What was he talking about? Zach didn’t like Estelle. I started thinking about the look in her eyes today when he chose me. The daggers she shot across the hall in my direction. Was she jealous…of me? I was no longer hungry.

  “Ryan and Emma, sit down,” Dad demanded. “We will not allow someone…anyone to come between us. Do you understand me? This behavior and these attacks and your language…” he pointed at Ryan. “…will not be tolerated.”

  “He’s too old for her,” Ryan spouted off.

  “That will be our decision. Not yours. Am I clear?”

  Ryan shook his head and wouldn’t look at me. His jaw was tight. I wanted to punch him.

  I hid out in my room for the rest of the night. About 9:30 my phone buzzed with a text The area code was different than ours—415. Ours was 541. How weird is that!

  May I call?

  I bit my lip.

  I Googled the area code. SAN FRAN!

  I jumped up and down typing in yes so fast that I spelled it wrong twice.

  Within an extremely long minute, my phone rang.

  “Hey,” I said.

  “Hey.”

  “Hey,” I said a second time. “How’s it goin?” I wondered if he heard the smile in my voice.

  “Um, it’s ok, I guess.”

  “You guess?”

  “Look, I’m sorry about after school. Your brother is kind of upset with me and I was... I don’t know.” He got quiet.

  I sat quietly twisting my hair desperately wanting to say something but unsure what to say. It was never a good thing when conversation was left up to me. I wanted to ask him about Estelle.

  “What are you doing Friday?” he asked.

  “I’m not sure. Why?” Butterflies soared through my stomach.

  “There are a few of us heading to Crescent City to hang out at the beach, build a fire—you know the drill.”

  There lay the problem. I didn’t know the drill. This was all new to me.

  “Apparently, it’s a good hour and half drive but this is one of the few weekends we won’t have a football game. Plus the weather is supposed to be awesome.”

  “That sounds fun. When are you leaving?”

  “We’ll probably head out after school. I can pick you up at your house.”

  Problem number two. I wasn’t sure how this would fly with my folks. “Can I let you know?”

  “Sure. We can talk tomorrow.”

  “OK.”

  “I’ll talk to you then,” he said.

  “Bye,” I whispered.

  I plowed my fingers through my hair. How was this going to work? My brother hated the guy I was falling for and my dad didn’t care for him much more than my brother. I had to somehow sway my mom to let this happen and that wasn’t a guarantee. I pulled the covers up over my head without getting undressed and said a prayer.

  NINE

  The ride to school the next morning was quiet. The roar of the truck seemed louder. How could silence be so noticeable? Ryan and I had never been like this before and I wasn’t sure who was angrier or more stubborn. Did he think I was betraying him by liking Zach? I was dying to know the gossip about Estelle and decided to ask him what he’d heard. I turned the radio down.

  “Ryan?”

  “What?” His tone was sharp.

  “I know how you feel about Zach. But what did he say about Estelle?”

  “You know what, Em. Ask him. He’s your prince.”

  I looked out my window. “Why are you being such a jerk? I just want to know.”

  “You want to know what it’s like to date a senior guy? Well, this is it.” He parked in his spot, got out and met up with Connor, Grant and Brett. Zach and Josh were walking up ahead of them and Estelle and Claire toddled behind. I stayed in the truck, waited and watched not wanting to be late on the second day of school but not finding the courage to move without my entourage. Grant turned once and looked back at me, slowing in his step just a bit. Finally, I spotted Lauren, alone. I hurried out of the truck and hustled toward her. “Hey,” I said, winded.

  On my way to Algebra, I hurried up the stairs and dashed into the restroom on the second floor. Dabbing lip gloss on and running my fingers through my hair, I frowned at my reflection, unsure what he saw.

  The bell rang as I stepped into class; the only seat available was next to Grant. Musical chairs had somehow played out during the past twenty-four hours because Zach sat behind where I’d sat yesterday and Estelle had taken my seat. Figures. I liked the back though, full view. Estelle sat cockeyed, blabbering to Zach. I forced my eyes away.

  “Hey. What are you doin’ Friday?” Grant asked.

  I shrugged knowing what I hoped to be doing. “I don’t know. Why?”

  “Some of us are headed to the beach. Didn’t know if you wanted to tag along.”

  Tag along? That sounded third wheel-ish.

  “Tag along?”

  “I mean like ride with me,” he explained.

  “Really?” The astonishment was apparent in my voice and I wondered if this would at least get me there.

  “Yeah.”

  I couldn’t respond at first. In fact, I’m sure I looked like an idiot with my mouth hanging open and a vacant expression on my face. This was the second time in two days that Grant surprised me. Yesterday—the reference to my body and today—asking me out? Was he serious? I couldn’t begin to compare to Chloe Burkenkamp, the girl he dated until her family relocated to Okinawa. This summer was his summer to bust loose at the beach and he and Ryan had done exactly that, but I never saw this coming.

  “Um…who’s all going?”

  Mr. Bowman came through the door and went to the front of the class.

  “A bunch of us. It’ll be fun. Katie loves me. She won’t care.” He was right—my mom did love him.

  Hmm. I laughed under my breath as Mr. Bowman began explaining the assignment for today. I figured mental math in my own head. What was the probability of me—Runt—being asked out by two guys? No, scratch that, two hot guys. Fractions, probability, even a linear equation wouldn’t help me figure the odds.

  Mid-way through the hour, Estelle passed a note to Zach making sure I saw. My teeth clenched as jealousy shot through me. Zach watched Mr. Bowman from his desk as he opened it, read and responded. Her hair flitted over his desk as she glanced at me through her long lashes when she grabbed the paper back. My throat tightened and I finished my work, hoping tears didn’t come. Crying is for babies Emma- I heard Ryan chant in my head.

  When the bell rang, I exploded out of my chair and flew down the hall hoping to make an unnoticed exit. Someone knew what had transpired this summer in my absence and I was hell bent on finding out.

  “Em!” I heard Zach shout from behind me. I acted like I didn’t. “Em!” he shouted again much closer. I think he was running. I had to turn around. I didn’t have a choice.

  “What?” My voice cracked. Damn it.

  “What’s wrong? I thought I’d walk you to gym?” He seemed disappointed.

  I flipped my hair behind my ears—a nervous habit I’d had for years. A few strands fell back, and as if it were no big deal, he slid them back into place. It was a huge deal to me. I caught a whiff of his hand and my stomach quivered. It was going to be more difficult than I thought to ever be angry at him.

  “Oh. Well. I didn’t know. You were late yesterday and…Well, Estelle.” My babble stopped there. My mouth failed again and blood invaded my cheeks.

  His features softened. “I would like to walk you.” He gestured down the hall, his chocolate brown eyes sparkled.

  It hurt to look at him. I wanted this so much. I nodded. He moved next to me and the funny feeling in my body was there again—an overwhelming desire to bury my nose in his T-shirt and sniff so I would keep the smell in my memory forever.


  “I brought something for you.”

  “What?”

  “Repayment for yesterday. I’ll have it for you after gym.”

  “OK. Well, thanks for walking me.”

  “Wait for me next time,” he ordered then headed down the hall.

  When P.E. was over, I purposely kept my stride slow as I met him outside the door. He stood with broad shoulders against the wall, talking to Connor and Brett, two of Ryan’s best buddies. I hesitated then went out. Zach winked at me as both boys turned and saw me.

  “Hey, Runt.” Brett said with a shocked tone, his smile fading as he turned back to Zach.

  “Hi, Brett.” I cringed at my nickname then watched as Brett’s eyes darted from me to Zach then to Connor.

  “Hey, Runt? Does Ryan know about this?” Connor asked, and jetted his thumb toward Zach.

  I pursed my lips together and narrowed my eyes glaring at them. “This is none of Ryan’s business or yours.”

  Both boys stared at each other then rotated back to Zach.

  “Dude,” Connor said.

  Zach shrugged. “I have no obligation to him.”

  “Man. She’s fifteen. Runt is—tiny. You hurt her and…”

  “Connor!” I shouted.

  Zach’s eyes scanned all three of us stopping on me. “I’m seventeen. That’s two years difference. If her parents are okay with that then it still isn’t Ryan’s business. And I have no intention of hurting her.”

  I didn’t know if my heart could physically melt but the heaviness in my chest increased with each of his words.

  Connor wiped his palm down the length of his face stopping on his chin. “O-K.” He patted Brett’s shoulder. “Let’s go. See ya, Runt. Zach.” They clasped Zach’s hand, bumped shoulders then left.

  Zach dismissed them easily with a chuckle and shook a brown paper sack.

  “What is it?” I don’t know how I spoke but I did. All I wanted to do was jump in his arms. No one had ever stood up to my brother’s posse before. Ever. He was my own personal savior.

  “I’ve got peanuts, crackers, beef jerky and drinks. The best a gas station has to offer. I stopped on the way to school. I haven’t eaten a school lunch in several years. So, this is the best I could do. Shall we?” He motioned toward the cafeteria.

  “You’re eating lunch with me?” I couldn’t hide the surprise in my voice. The thought of me eating in the cafeteria with Zach—a senior—it was almost unfathomable.

  “Would you rather I not?”

  “No. Yes. No!” I paused trying to gather my scattered thoughts. “Yes, I’d like that.” Oh my God. I sounded like a blubbering idiot. I scratched my head.

  “Good,” he said grinning. I think he was laughing at me.

  Ali and Lauren weren’t in the cafeteria yet. He picked a table on the far wall and sat next to me. I didn’t know if I’d be able to eat and breathe at the same time.

  “So, Runt, is it?”

  I released a tremendous sigh and closed my eyes. “Please don’t.” Not him too.

  “Annoying?”

  “You have no idea. I have been Runt for six years to my brother’s friends. It’s a nickname I hate.”

  “Where’d it come from?”

  “Look at me,” I said, then felt stupid because he was looking at me.

  “You’re not a runt.” He opened my can of Dr. Pepper. “Here.”

  “How did you know I liked Dr. Pepper?”

  “You downed two cans at your house—in May.”

  I nodded my head and smiled. “That’s right. Good memory.” I opened the nuts even though I wasn’t hungry.

  “OK. Back to Connor and what he said. Does Ryan know about this?” he asked.

  I examined and fingered the nuts in my palm. “When you say ‘this’ you’re referring to you and me?” My face flushed just saying the words.

  “Yes.” He took one of my hands in his. I couldn’t look at him and kept my eyes focused on my lap where his hand held mine. I was terrified to look in his eyes, afraid of what I wouldn’t say and deeply concerned with what I would.

  “He knows…” I swallowed hard. “…that I like you.” I hoped the words were audible because I didn’t think I could speak them again. I chanced glancing up.

  A soft, gentle grin crossed his face.

  “I think you know that already. Right?” I wanted to clarify.

  A small chuckle slipped from his mouth—his perfect mouth. “You know, back in May when I met you, you were one of the first people to really talk to me. I hated being here. I didn’t want to leave San Francisco. No one, and I mean no one, really asked me about me. Do you remember what you did for me?”

  Was he talking about the song? “You made me sad that day. You seemed so unhappy and…” I chanced looking at him and our eyes met. I was suddenly embarrassed because for the life of me I couldn’t remember what we were talking about. “I don’t remember what I was saying.” I rubbed my forehead trying to jar a thought.

  “I asked if you remember what you did. Do you?”

  His other hand rubbed my back. I had a feeling everyone in the lunchroom was staring at us but I didn’t care.

  “Are you talking about the Journey thing? That was pretty cheesy.”

  “Yes!” He laughed out loud and it sounded musical. “When I heard that song, Lights, come over the speakers through your house—you made me smile and I hadn’t smiled in a while. You know that song was written about San Francisco, don’t you? Anyway, I don’t care how cheesy it was. It made me feel good. You made me feel good.”

  I longed to say something but didn’t want to ruin the moment, so I just looked at him.

  “Emma?”

  “What?”

  “You OK?”

  “Uh, huh.” I wasn’t though. “I have a question for you and I don’t know how to ask it.”

  “Just shoot.”

  “I’m not as good with words as you are.” I was already struggling.

  “You’re fine.”

  I hesitated. If he only knew. “Why…me?” I asked reluctantly.

  “What do you mean?” He seemed confused.

  God! He didn’t understand and I knew I couldn’t explain it. He was one of the hottest seniors in the school and here he sat in the cafeteria with me. He had girls ogling and it didn’t seem to faze him. I knew they all were thinking the same thing as I was. Why her?

  Thankfully, the bell rang.

  I stood. “I’ll explain later,” I said.

  “OK. Do you want a ride home after practice?” he asked.

  I always rode home with Ryan and today I wasn’t going to rock the boat. “Um, I’ll probably just ride home with Ryan. But thanks.”

  “OK. See ya.” He squeezed my hand before disappearing in the mix of kids.

  After school, Ali was down with a sore throat so she punted cross country. It was lonelier today but I was certain I earned a better time even though we ran the three miles on our normal cross country path behind the school rather than the track. After I changed and left the locker room, I found Grant waiting outside.

  “Hey, Runt.”

  “What’s up, Grant?” I asked shocked to see him.

  “Ryan took Claire home after cheerleading practice. He asked me to tend to you.” Grant laughed.

  “Nice. ‘Tend to me?’ Like it’s such a chore.”

  “Come on.” He threw his arm around my shoulder and dragged me toward his pickup.

  “Claire and Ryan?” I was confused. “When did that happen?”

  “Today, I think.”

  “Claire?” I repeated.

  “Shut up. She’s hot.”

  “She’s a fake bitch.” I acted like I shoved my finger down my throat. “I thought it would be Estelle, again.”

  “Nope. She blew it. Apparently hooked up with some other dude this summer.”

  It was as if he’d knocked the wind from me. I fought for breath and felt dizzy for a second. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to scream, cry, run or hit Grant for sa
ying it. But jealousy burned inside of me, and I shook my head trying to get rid of the thought.

  “Who was it?” The words were barely spoken.

  “I don’t know. Ryan does. What a bitch.” My slow pace must have annoyed him because he grabbed me, threw me over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes and ran to the truck dumping me on the hood.

  Laughing, I shouted, “you punk!” and slid off till my feet hit the ground. He had opened my door and moved around to his side. I used the running boards to boost myself up and once in the truck, my dinky little legs dangled over the seat and my feet barely touched the floor. I slammed the door and smacked his shoulder. The smell I’d loved for the past three years—his smell—saturated the inside of the truck. He laughed and started the engine. As he reversed out of his spot, I glanced out the front windshield. Zach stood about fifty yards from us and stared. Grant waved and I sat frozen.

  TEN

  The moment I got home, I texted Zach. Nothing. I slept with my phone that night.

  The next day, I was anxious at school. I watched the clock and though texting wasn’t allowed in school, I kept a close eye on my phone—hoping. No messages. I ran straight to Algebra eager to be in my seat before Zach. Being the first to arrive, I had my pick of seats and chose a back row.

  I tugged my homework assignment out and pretended to recheck as voices of kids began filling the room. Zach breezed through the door the moment I looked up and I could see the questions in his eyes. I didn’t look away. He gave me a casual nod. How could someone that beautiful worry about Grant? But it gave me a hint of satisfaction knowing Grant bothered him.

  With my pencil, I pointed to the desk next to me. He pushed the desks apart to get through and slid in.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Hey. Did you get my text?”

  “I had a crazy night. Sorry.”

  I studied his flawless face wondering if I’d blown things yesterday. He kept his eyes down. How was I supposed to know Grant would show up to take me home?

  “Zach.” I touched his hand but he didn’t look at me. “Zach.” My voice more forceful. I scooted as close as I could get without tipping off everyone in the room.