Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys)

by Pelton, Kristi

  We rode in silence for awhile; my hand never left her back.

  “Zach.” She reached and clutched my hand. “We weren’t together. I can’t be angry. You had every right.” she sighed. “But it still hurts.”

  I lifted her hand and kissed it.

  She continued, “And, it’s obvious she still wants you.”

  “I don’t care what she wants. There is only one girl I want.” I squeezed her shoulder and when I saw her smile and heard her breath of relief, I knew she was once again mine.

  THIRTEEN

  Emma

  Saturday morning, as the clouds blocked the sun’s way into my room, I woke to a throbbing head. My eyes were swollen and red and I didn’t want to go down for breakfast but I hadn’t eaten anything since yesterday at lunch. I was starving.

  Ryan’s door was shut. I smiled as I passed it. He’d been loyal to me last night. I remembered the look on his face when Estelle said the words. He knew I’d be hurt and he tried to prevent it. He always had.

  I remembered when I was six and woke up from my heart surgery when the doctors had closed the hole in my heart and he was lying on my bed with a big stuffed hippo. I thought that he’d had surgery too. The doctor had assured Mom and Dad before the surgery that this would be my last time in the hospital, God willing, and Ryan took it that it would literally be my last time…ever…that I wouldn’t be coming home. He was a permanent fixture at my side. He was there when I woke up, when I went to sleep, when I ate and when I went to the bathroom—until I was able to be wheeled out and put in the car to go home.

  It started with me weighing only three and a half pounds at birth, hence the name Runt. I didn’t remember any of the stories, just memories of being told so many times how I’d been more like a pet to him rather than a normal sibling annoyance. He’d always taken care of me, seeing me as fragile—breakable. I guess that’s why I’d been off limits to all the guys. I don’t know that he ever voiced this. It was just sort of unspoken.

  I trotted down the stairs. Mom sat at the kitchen table with her mug of coffee and newspaper and Dad was mowing.

  “Good morning sweetheart.”

  “Hey, Mom.” I poured water in a glass and washed down some Tylenol, then got out a small skillet to cook some eggs.

  “How was the beach?”

  “Cold. I should have dressed warmer.”

  “Was your brother upset you went?” She asked with a raised brow.

  “No. I don’t think so.”

  “And Zach? How was that?”

  Hearing his name caused a heavy sensation in my chest. I shrugged. “It was fine.”

  She stood abruptly and hustled through the kitchen. “I have a showing at 11:00. I hope to be home for lunch.” She rushed out. “Oh.” She was back. “I have that bridge and those booths from the carnival a few years ago. Mrs. Redd stored them at her house and now wants to get rid of them. Any ideas?”

  “I’ll give it some thought,” I replied with the start of a smile. She was gone again. I already had the perfect idea, if I could work it out.

  “Hey Runt.” Ryan shuffled into the kitchen, his eyes barely open, a couple of minutes later.

  “Morning.”

  “Breathing ok?”

  “Yes. Thanks.”

  “For what?” he poured cereal sloppily into a bowl and doused it with milk.

  “Last night. You know.” I was embarrassed. My first real boyfriend and he’d already slept with my brother’s ex. That should make for interesting Sunday dinner conversation.

  He sat his bowl on the table and ruffled my hair. “Estelle’s a bitch. She’s pissed at me and lashing out at you.”

  “Why is she pissed?”

  He garbled something I couldn’t understand through the cereal and milk. A pink piece of half chewed Fruity Pebbles flew out of his mouth and landed in front of me. My lips pulled up and my tongue darted out. He laughed.

  “Sorry. She likes to think she broke up with me. It started after prom. Long story. But I dumped her before we left for Cannon. You know the stupid shit we do there. I wasn’t going to go up there with a chick back here.”

  “That’s nice. Break up with a girl you like here so you can go have sex with someone you don’t know there. Hmm. Classy, Ry.”

  “I ain’t tryin to be classy. And I didn’t like her that much. I’m leaving for college next year anyway.”

  I carried my plate to the sink, rinsed and put it in the dishwasher. “Remind me never to date someone of that mentality. Do you think she’s really pregnant?”

  He shoved another bite of cereal in his mouth as I left the kitchen. “You don’t need to be dating at all,” he mumbled.

  I rolled my eyes as I walked out.

  “Runt!”

  “What?” I stopped in the hallway.

  “I’d put money on it that she’s not pregnant. I’ve heard that one before. But, don’t you see, he’s just looking for someone to nail?”

  Wincing, a wave of nausea rushed over me. I knew better. Last night, had he said yes to wanting that with me, I was ready to offer myself to him—like a sacrificial lamb—and yet he refused me. That’s not what he was looking for, clearly. After all, I was just fifteen…

  “You’re wrong,” I said faintly with my back to him.

  “Emma. I’m a guy. I’m not wrong. Trust me on this.”

  I swallowed hard and walked away.

  FOURTEEN

  Zach

  Even the water in this town tasted funny, I thought as I downed a full glass. It was clear Emma loved this place, but even now, I racked my brain trying to think of something I liked. Nothing…outside of her. Sweat ran down my temples and I dabbed it with my shoulder. I needed a shower after my workout at the gym. My phone vibrated. Estelle again. Twenty-one texts since last night. Not one from Emma. When I walked her to the door last night, I felt confident. But today, I was iffy again. I hated iffy.

  Mom’s laptop was sitting on the kitchen island and I clicked on Facebook. I never posted much, if ever. Wow, 49 notifications. Estelle had tagged me in a dozen pictures from over the summer. Shit! She was not going to make this easy. I unhooked the laptop from its cord and nestled myself into the recliner. Then I removed the pics from my page and untagged myself in the photos. After a quick search, I found Emma. Her page was set with private settings but I studied her profile picture. Her and Grant. What the hell? I decided to text and friend request her at the same time.

  Hey send

  Hey back

  How r u feeling today? Send

  I feel good. You?

  Me? Well, I wasn’t the one who couldn’t breathe.

  I’m good too busy day? send

  No. You?

  Not too bad Movie tonight? Send

  I can’t. Family night :( you can come. I understand if you don’t want to. It’s ok.

  Family night? My head rested against the back of the recliner. Oh, how the thought made me…shudder. But if this was going to go, I don’t know where, working things out with her brother and father were going to have to happen.

  That should work what time u thinking send

  6? My house

  See u then send

  FIFTEEN

  Emma

  “Ry?” I banged on his door.

  “What?”

  I opened it and stepped in.

  “Hey. I’m asking…begging for a favor.”

  He was cleaning and twisted his Chicago Cubs baseball cap on my head. “Like you’ve ever had to beg for anything.”

  His words should have made me feel more hopeful but they didn’t. He didn’t have a clue where I was going with this; if he did he wouldn’t agree. “It’s about Zach.”

  He stopped picking up the dirty clothes on the floor and glowered at me. “It’s not open for discussion.”

  “I like him. Really like him. Why can you not do this for me?”

  He shook his head. “Runt. He is too old for you.” He threw the stinky clothes in his hamper.


  That was it. I’d had it and the conversation had just begun. As I took in a long slow breath through my nose and my chin lowered to my chest, I scowled. “Benjamin Ryan Hendricks,” I yelled with my hands on my hips. “I am fifteen and he is seventeen and this means a lot to me. For years, I have dealt with all the girls that you have dated. Being polite, defending you when I shouldn’t, listening to sob stories and worst of all becoming friends with someone that you dump and I usually lose the friendship. Now! I am asking you. No, I am telling you, to be nice to someone that I like. Do you understand me?”

  The corners of his mouth twitched into a semi-smile and he stared at me. I kept my jaw tight.

  “WOW! This must mean a lot to you. I don’t think you’ve gone off on me like that since—well—maybe never. OK.”

  My arms fell limp and my eyes widened. “OK?” I asked.

  He shrugged. “OK,” he repeated. “But…”

  I knew there was a ‘but.’

  “If he hurts you, I will break his neck.” He batted his eyes a few times but didn’t smile.

  “Well. Maybe not his neck.” I smiled jumping on top of his mattress and throwing my arms around his neck. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

  “One more thing. I’m not willing to listen to his sob story if you dump him, got it?”

  Little did he know, I would never dump Zach Owens. More like the other way around. I feared for the safety of Zach’s neck. “Deal. By the way, he’ll be here at six,” I laughed as I ran from his room.

  The doorbell rang at 5:55 and I beat my dad to the door. Zach’s tan face greeted us both with a warm smile. His tattered khaki shorts rested low on his hips and his polo shirt hid the muscles I knew were underneath. His chest was broad and my heart fluttered just thinking about how perfectly I fit between his arms.

  “Zach. You remember my dad. Matt Hendricks.”

  “Yes. How are you sir?” He extended his hand and my father shook it.

  “I’m great, Zach. Nice to see you again. Awake, this time.” Dad grinned.

  Zach nodded and studied his feet for a quick second. “You too, Sir.” I could tell he was nervous. “That won’t happen again.”

  My dad grinned. “I’m sure it won’t. Call me Matt.”

  “Yes, Sir.” His eyes flashed to mine.

  “We’re leaving. Hope you’re hungry.” I spoke softly.

  “Ryan!” my dad yelled up the stairs then stepped out of the room; Zach captured me in his arms. He buried his nose in my hair and I was glad I had just washed it. My insides felt like they’d burst.

  “Hey, when is your birthday?” I asked.

  “November 23rd. Why?” He rocked me back and forth not letting go.

  “No reason. Just curious.”

  “When’s yours?”

  “May 20th. I think it’s the day of your graduation.”

  He rubbed my back with his hands. “So we’ll have two things to celebrate.” He bent down and brushed an unexpected kiss across my lips. It didn’t go unnoticed that he said ‘we’ and insinuated we’d be together in May. I bit my lower lip to hide my smile.

  Before I knew it, he distanced himself quickly.

  “Hi, Mrs. Hendricks.”

  “Well hello, Zach. Glad you could join us.”

  “Thanks for having me.”

  Ryan pounded down the stairs.

  “What’s up, Zach?” Ryan gripped his hand and they bumped shoulders. I smiled at their sudden camaraderie.

  “Hey, Ryan,” Zach responded and glanced suspiciously at me.

  “Let’s go, Runt.” Ryan shoved me playfully.

  Zach grabbed my hand. “What the heck is up with Ryan?” He whispered shocked.

  I shrugged.

  After dinner the boys engaged in a friendly backyard football game while I watched from the deck. Several times, I caught myself staring at Zach—I’m not sure I’d ever seen someone so handsome.

  It was seventy-five degrees today and though it was cooler with the sun meeting the western horizon, the guys worked up a good sweat. When Zach tugged his drenched shirt off his broad shoulders and tossed it to me, I giggled and draped the wet material over my lap but felt goofy when my dad shook his head and rolled his eyes.

  My body had become foreign to me, acting on it’s own in ways I couldn’t explain. Just watching Zach—sweaty and shirtless stirred up feelings in my body that were a little alarming. After a bit, we moved inside to catch the Oregon/Arizona game. More football. Not that I was all that interested in the game, but it meant time with him.

  Mom and I chatted in the kitchen while I threw break and bake cookies on a cookie sheet and tossed them in the oven. While I waited for the timer to go off, Zach’s phone vibrated on the counter next to Ryan’s, where they’d left them before going outside. I peeked at the cookies. Not close.

  I snatched his phone off the counter to run it to him. The screen showed that he had a new text message. From Estelle. Obviously, she was in his address book for her name to appear. My body felt like it was imploding and my shoulders slumped. I stared at the view button as my finger hovered over it for the longest time. I clenched my fist. Don’t.

  In the living room, they were all three absorbed in the gripping zero to zero game but Zach smiled as I came in. I held out the phone and his brows rose.

  “It vibrated,” I said innocently.

  He took it from me, glanced at the screen, slid the phone shut without responding then patted the empty spot next to him on the sofa. I shook my head.

  “I’ll be back,” I said. “Come on Reesy,” The dog leapt from her bed and toddled behind. Jealousy crept into every bone as I moved away from him and up the stairs. I felt sick. From my bedroom window, I stared at Zach’s Jeep parked next to Ryan’s truck in the driveway. I thought about the time last spring, I’d seen Ryan and Estelle in the truck making out, from this very window…something I’d never told him. But today, as I looked at the Jeep, I pictured Zach and Estelle. His hand on her knee and her beautiful ebony hair blowing in the wind. The bow-tie pasta I’d eaten earlier crept up my throat. I tried to shake it off…think of other things. But then last night at the beach replayed in my mind—her singing his name—telling everyone that they’d been together. She was so beautiful and a junior and could have any guy she wanted—well, she’d had most of them.

  The Jeep was narrow, not like Ryan’s truck and I wondered when he and Estelle were together how they fit. What was it like? Did he kiss her the way he kissed me? I imagined their lips pressed together. His hands on her body. STOP! I could never compete with her. I sprawled across my bed next to Reesy, frantically shoving my Ipod ear buds into my ear, listening to Nickelback. I closed my eyes trying to slow my breathing. It wasn’t working.

  Finally, I grabbed my Ipad and tapped my Facebook app. Two friend requests. I smiled instantly when Zachary Owens was one and I accepted immediately. Going straight to his wall, I was excited to see any piece of him that was foreign to me. His friends from San Francisco, his parents, anything…but I hadn’t expected this. Forty-two pictures of him and Estelle and the group that she had posted. Today! Torturously, I clicked my way through them. They were in front of the drinking fountains downtown. In his Jeep with the top down. In a house with a painting of a mountain behind them. I tried to place the painting, his house?

  “What’s going on?”

  I flipped completely over, startled by his voice and presence in my room.

  “I, uh.”

  He glanced at the screen and his shoulders fell ever so slightly.

  “Emma,” he said softly.

  Needless to say, I hadn’t expected him in my room today. My bed was only half made and dirty clothes were scattered around. Reesy met him, wagging her tail as he got closer.

  “Those were a long time ago.” He was upset, but there was tenderness in his voice. I untagged myself today but she must have retagged me.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said gazing down at my lap.

  He knelt on one knee i
n front of me. “For what?”

  “You can sit on the bed.” I patted a spot next to me.

  He pulled his saturated shirt away from his body. “I’m drenched and I stink. I’ll stay put.” His smile was beautiful.

  He was quiet. When I glanced up at him, his eyes were patient

  “I know that message was from her,” I whispered clearing my throat.

  He nodded. “Yes. It was. She texts me about twenty times a day.”

  “Why?”

  My words hadn’t angered him and I was relieved. “You can read any of them. All of ‘em. She asks me to call, text back, you name it…I don’t.”

  It was silly after last night and after being with him today that I felt the way I did.

  “Look.” He switched knees. “This Estelle thing is going to pass. I know it hurt you and I regret ever doing it. But I can’t take it back and I can’t take away your pain. I wish I could.” Remorse was thick in his voice.

  “Why did she just now post the pictures?”

  Sweat beads trickled down his temples and he dabbed them with his shirt. “Why do you think? To upset you. To upset us. Estelle doesn’t bother me. I understand and respect that it concerns you…but it is not a concern for me. What concerns me is that you don’t give you credit. You are a beautiful girl and you can’t understand why I’m attracted to you. I like you. I like spending time with you. Is that OK?”

  I nodded as he uncrossed my legs. Just him touching my leg blasted a shot of adrenaline through me. I swallowed hard trying to ignore what my body was saying. He took my hand and pulled me down to rest on his one knee then kissed the tip of my nose. “If I wanted to be somewhere else right now, I would be. But I don’t.”

  He left me speechless.

  The next couple of weeks went by in a blur with football and cross country. Quality time together usually came only on the weekends and either after games or meets. But, I couldn’t remember the last time I’d gone a day without seeing him. He had been amazingly attentive to me and in overdrive at distancing himself from Estelle. Our conversations were different now and centered around us and getting to know each other. We would talk for hours in his Jeep or on the sofa.