“Anyway—then Grant called from the slope and they took off. Zach led the pack sprinting to the lift. You are so lucky. He really likes you.”
Her words were comforting at that moment given he wouldn’t speak to me, or worse, look at me. That was the hardest of all. Usually, I could see him across a room and know what he was thinking by the look in his eyes. But as I watched him now, his lids blocked my access.
I continued to stare at him. His black ski pants rested low on his hips and his Under Armor was tucked neatly in. The thin material lay perfectly over each ripple of his abs. My stomach tingled and my breathing quickened just looking at him. I shook my head trying to clear the thoughts. His hands were in tight fists resting on his knees. I wanted to go to him and open his hands. Rub his palm on my face. White rings circled his eyes from where his goggles sat and his face was tanner from the wee bit of sun today. He looked relaxed, but I could tell by his jaw line that he was tense.
“Emma?”
I heard my name but didn’t respond. Ali elbowed me in the side. A nurse in turquoise scrubs scanned the room. Zach’s eyes snapped open. I raised my hand like we were in school.
“I’m Emma.”
She offered a warm smile. “Grant’s asking to see you. Will you come with me?”
Crap. Deeper trouble. Grant was smooth. I had to hand it to him. He knew I’d be sitting out here with Zach. I eyed Zach, but all I saw were his lids and his head against the wall again. I walked down the quiet hall, boots clunking on the tile floor.
The nurse directed me to the room. I tried to step lightly in case he was resting. A curtain hung between us and I took a deep breath.
“Chloe?” he asked and I stood frozen, confused. The nurse had asked for Emma so he must have used my name. Why would he have said Chloe now? Oh My God!!!!
“You are a jackass,” I jabbed, yanking the curtain back and narrowing my eyes. “I can’t believe you tricked me.”
“Whatever.” He held up his newly casted wrist. “And, I can’t believe you risked my life.” His words cut deep and my eyes flickered to the floor.
As angry as I was, he was right.
He sat up. “Em.” He reached for me…I was too far away. “Come here.”
I took two steps closer to the bed and he took hold of my hand.
“I’m kidding. This wasn’t your fault.”
“It is my fault. You wouldn’t have made the turn if I hadn’t.”
“That’s true. But I’m the one that crashed and burned!” He seemed embarrassed.
Our hands together, intertwined, it was odd how right and wrong it could feel in that one moment. How could I feel so crazy in love with Zach but still respond to this one person, my oldest friend, my longest crush, the first guy to touch my heart.
“I knew you’d take the turn, Em. That’s who you are. I knew before we got off the freakin’ lift. I wasn’t going to let you do it alone.” He laughed. “I bolted over there to make sure you were OK and now here I am.” His sheepish grin made me smile and when he looked down at his cast, his blond curls fell around his face. “Broken wrist and concussion. So much for saving the day.”
I pulled my hand from his and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Grant.”
“I know.” He ruffled my hair, which made me seethe. He was retreating…I could feel it coming. “You like Owens.” His voice cracked as he acknowledged the truth.
I nodded. “But…”
He held his palm up. “No. No buts. I’m not sure if I can be good. But I’ll try.”
“You won’t.”
“You’re right.” He grinned. “Do you know I stared at that bedroom door all night last night praying it would open and you would come out.” He cleared his throat. “You didn’t. I think about you—being with him. You’re too young, Runt.”
Oh here we go with the too young bit. AND—we’re back to Runt. I couldn’t keep up with him. “You know, I could ask fifty guys at our school to sleep with me and forty-eight would say yes. Leave it to me to find the two saints who want me to keep my virginity.”
His eyes widened. “You and Owen’s haven’t…or didn’t…” His words broke off.
I shook my head.
Suddenly, he popped off the bed and did a gyrating dance rotating his hips and flapping his arms in the air. “Now we’re talkin’. So—you, are still a weirgin.”
Before considering the consequences, I lunged and shoved him as hard as I could which amounted to him falling back a couple of steps. He snickered. “Em. I love ya, Sweetie, but game on! Admit it baby. It’s me you’ve always dreamed about losing your virginity to—not Zach.”
My chest swelled with anger. “I hate you sometimes.” I wanted to slap the smile from his face.
“No you don’t. And that’s the problem. You wish you could, but you don’t.” He grinned as I bolted from the room.
I walked slowly trying to reconcile the love/hate feelings brewing inside of me. Why was I so angry? Because he was so cocky…or could it be because in a way he was right. That made me hate him more. I wanted to nark Grant’s remarks out to Ryan—who would break both his legs…no make it Zach—Zach would kill him. Guilt stung every nerve ending. I trusted Grant. He was my best friend…was being the operative word. I was SO done with Grant Meiers. This would certainly make Zach happy. I focused, putting one foot in front of the other to find the waiting room and as I rounded the corner, I saw Ali and Ryan sitting together.
“Where is everybody?” I asked.
“They went back to the house.” Ryan stood. “How’s Grant?”
My teeth clenched at the sound of his name. “He’s an asshole.”
“Well, I’ll take that as a fine,” Ryan quipped and Ali giggled next to him, which annoyed me.
“Where’s Zach?” I asked.
Ryan flung his arms out to his side implying I hadn’t followed the conversation.
“I told you he went back.”
“Well, let’s go then!” I demanded with a scowl. Unbelievable! Zach freaking left.
Ryan bobbed his head up and down sarcastically. “Oh, yeah like I’m going to leave Grant here.”
“He’s riding with us?” I fumed.
“Of course,” he answered and tossed Ali the keys. “I’ll get Grant and we’ll be out in a minute,” he yelled as he moved down the hall. I glared at Ali and she offered me the keys without hesitation.
Ali swapped the front seat with me, putting her in the back with Grant. The ride back to the house was quiet, thank goodness. In the driveway, I immediately hopped out of the car and beat it inside.
I froze in the living room staring out the windows at Claire, Jaycee, Brett, Estelle, Connor and Zach in the hot tub. Josh slept on the sofa. A powerful surge of jealousy burst through me and I couldn’t see straight. Zach was wedged between Jaycee and Claire and through the steam bubbling up, he looked friggin hot. Both girls sat a little too close for my comfort.
I looked away only for a moment then back again. Droplets of water fell from his dark hair and he was laughing and smiling—the smile that caused my body to react in funny ways and it was doing just that. I rubbed my neck, stretching it from side to side while I watched him. Thoughts of losing him made my gut wrench as I watched the older girls, the more mature girls. Blonde ringlets, black manes, tan skin, big boobs, skimpy bikinis, drinking beer. Jaycee laid her head back against a headrest and closed her eyes. A hint of a smile touched her lips and she glanced at Brett. Something stirred inside of me when I realized he was touching her under the water. I watched for only a minute before Ryan darted past me and out the door. When Zach spotted him, he looked at the wall of windows behind him but he couldn’t see me. I bolted to the bedroom.
In SFA class during eighth grade, we learned about masturbation. Suddenly, I had never been more intrigued. I could still picture the animated brochure that I threw away before my mom could see it. MASTURBATION: rubbing of genitals until orgasm. There had been no real interest in trying this before, but I would try
this when I got home. I now wanted to know my body. I wanted Zach to know my body. If these older girls could do this, so could I.
I couldn’t think straight. My weird thoughts tormented me as I pulled my sweatshirt off deciding to leave on my sports bra and throw on a T-shirt. Where was my T-shirt? I was suddenly hot. I threw myself across the bed beneath the ceiling fan, trying to sort my thoughts. Lying there in only a sports bra and my ski pants, thinking about that eighth grade class, my fingers traced over my stomach….
“Need some help?”
I flew off the bed wide eyed. “Zach!” My face must have turned purple. He stood smiling…not the smile…please, not the smile. His hair was still wet and his body…his body wrapped in a towel below his waist. This was not good.
TWENTY-NINE
ZACH
Relief muddied with a bit of excitement, forced a slow wide smile across my face.
“You OK?” I asked.
She nodded too quickly and my smile only broadened.
“When did you get back?” I asked taking another step closer. Given where her fingertips were only a moment ago, gracefully flitting over her stomach, I had a feeling my presence was intimidating to her.
“Um…we…” she shrugged. “When they did.” She pointed out the door.
This time I fought the oncoming smile and stayed put. I didn’t want to intimidate her or make her to feel threatened in any way. This little innocent creature had placed every ounce of her trust in me and I would not let her down.
“Are you OK?” I asked and watched as her eyes scanned down the front of me in a hypnotic gaze. Was she breathing? Did she need her inhaler? “Em?”
“What?” She sounded angry and defensive and I hated that. So, I quickly closed the distance between us. She was sweating and hot when my hands touched her face and she suddenly unfastened her ski pants and shoved them over her tiny hips working them off with her legs and kicking them aside. Her long underwear was the next remaining layer. She was clearly flustered.
“Emma.” My hands now held both her cheeks and she rested her hands on my shoulders; then she balanced and lifted herself onto the bed. We were almost nose to nose. Almost.
Without hesitation, she rubbed her index finger over the length of my bottom lip and her baby blues darkened with desire. Aggressively, she pressed her lips to mine with an uncontrolled force. I retreated, broad eyed, for only a second—hesitated—then my mouth took hers, fully. Her mouth was hot and wet and everything it should be and her kiss, damn, her kiss was like no other. My hands met behind her and it wasn’t until her legs wrapped around my waist, that I realized I had lifted her off the bed.
“Wow. What happened at the clinic?” I joked.
She didn’t laugh or even smile. For being just fifteen, this girl could be sexier than any other girl I’d seen. I also knew she’d tremble and cave when pushed, which made her cute and sexy at the same time. I decided to test the waters and pressed her body up against the wall and kissed down her neck. Within a short three seconds, her predictable panting had begun. She kissed my shoulder.
“What’s gotten into you?” I whispered.
“The girls need to keep their hands off of you,” she said between kisses.
I grinned, where she couldn’t see of course. “Damn! You saw that?” I kissed her harder and she squeezed me with her legs. I leaned back and looked at her. “I have one little girlfriend, Silly. And she should never be jealous.”
“I’m not jealous,” she lied.
I wasn’t done trying to rock this boat, and I slid my hands down her back between her long underwear and Jockeys. “Well. In that case, she and I are running to Taco Bell in a few minutes. Do you want anything?”
Her eyes fluttered just a bit before she twisted a little bit of my chest hair in her fingers.
“Ow!” I laughed. “Come get in the hot tub.”
Her brows furrowed causing that cute little V between her eyes—the V that I wanted to smooth away with my finger because she only had it when angry or stressed. What had I said that upset her? The hot tub? That upset her?
She released her legs from my waist and I sat her gently on the floor. My fingers trailed down her neck, along her back and came to rest on her hips. My eyes took in every inch of her causing my breaths to be uneven.
She bit her bottom lip and blushed, hot with desire. Screw the hot tub.
“You are so beautiful,” I whispered and leaned into her, as there was a knock at the door.
“Emma. Can I come in?” Ali asked.
“Yes. Just a minute,” Emma answered and I couldn’t read if she was disappointed or relieved. I kissed her forehead, then quickly grabbed a T-shirt from my bag and tossed it to her.
I opened the door and Ali stepped in.
“Sorry. I need my swimsuit.” She scurried around the room.
“Do you want to get in the hot tub?” I asked again.
“Sure.” She nodded and searched her bag then pulled out a bikini.
Not wanting her to lose the vibe between us, I winked. “Hurry.”
THIRTY
Emma
Ali started to change. “Did I interrupt something?”
I chuckled. “It was probably a good thing you knocked.” I fanned my face and smiled.
“Oh, well, then you’re welcome.”
“Ali, how far have you and Ryan gone?” I removed Zach’s T-shirt only long enough to tie my suit around my neck, then slid it back on. It was his USC shirt, one of his favorites, and I knew right then and there, I wouldn’t give it back.
“Well. Are you wanting details?” There was an embarrassed look to her face.
I shrugged. “Just wondering, I guess.” They had dated about two months and Zach and I were going on five.
“It’s kind of embarrassing to talk about,” she stalled. “I guess if you compare it to baseball…you know the whole first base, second base thing?”
I nodded uncomfortably because Zach and I were hanging out on first with thoughts of stealing second but not really budging. I wanted to budge.
“We haven’t made it home.” She said under her breath.
I analyzed her face. Was she saying they’d made it to third? My body shuddered at the thought. “So third then?” I inquired nosily.
“Pretty much.”
OK…she was holding out. “You have gone all the way!” I exclaimed.
She shook her head denying the accusation. “No, we haven’t. I swear.” Her soft words led me to believe she was telling the truth. “But.” She bit her cheek.
I raised my brows…waiting…anticipating…jealous…
“He like—did the oral thing…kind of…down there.” She closed her eyes obviously trying to hide her awkwardness.
I smacked her shoulder. “Oh My God! When?” I was so freaking jealous. Zach touched me down there once through my underwear for like ten seconds before I freaked out. I was never going to freak out again.
“Last night,” she giggled. “Don’t say anything.”
“Please, you know me better than that. What was it like?” Curiosity was worse than the jealousy—maybe. My insides flipped thinking about it.
“Well…it was soft and Ryan…he…”
OOHH. She mentioned my brother’s name. “OK. Stop. TMI. Let’s go.”
She giggled as we left the room.
Zach and Ryan were already submerged in the hot tub. Two seniors…two freshmen…the other girls were peeved and moved inside almost immediately to help Estelle’s mom cook dinner. I-5 had been closed between Ashland and Shasta so we were staying one more night. Mom and dad weren’t necessarily upset, but they weren’t thrilled. When I spoke with them, they had asked to speak with Ms. Downard and she assured them she was here and adequately supervising us. I’d slept in the same bed as Zach last night so I questioned her judgment as to adequate supervision.
My parents had reason to trust us. Ryan and I had never given them reason not to, and I didn’t intend to start now.
I tried to hide my surprise when I spotted the beer in Zach’s hand—another good indicator of adequate supervision. I noticed earlier that everyone was drinking. Ali climbed in sitting next to Ryan. Physically, my self esteem had never been the best and getting virtually naked in front of Zach was harder than I imagined.
“Nice shirt,” he smiled referring to his USC shirt I wore.
“I’m keeping it,” I threatened.
“You think?”
“I know!”
I dropped the shirt and swung my legs around. The outside temperature was near freezing with snow on the ground and I was in a bikini. The water was hot and it took my breath away as I immersed myself. When I slid into the seat next to Zach, my chin nearly went under. Crap! I was too little for the seat. Figures. Not big enough for the hot tub. When the older beautiful girls lounged in the water, they casually laughed and drank beer and I couldn’t manage to keep my head above water.
“Come here, shorty.” Zach witnessed my personal struggle and intervened. I’m sure he didn’t want me to drown on his watch. He positioned me on his lap. Even better. I smiled. Maybe I should play the victim more often.
My legs rested between his and his leg hair tickled. He held me firmly around my waist and suddenly I was happy about the bikini—skin on skin contact.
Grant swaggered out the French doors with his newly plastered arm and a bottle of beer in the other hand. My eyes narrowed as I shot daggers in his direction.
“You are NOT getting in here.” My words were angry.
He chuckled. “That’s exactly what I’m doing. The doctors said with my concussion—that you caused—I should take it easy.” He stepped in the water.
Zach readjusted his posture. “Don’t blame her for your inabilities.”
I offered Grant a smug smile after the remark.
“I will do no such thing.” He slid in and his foot touched mine.
“Don’t touch me!” I gritted through clenched teeth. Zach leaned forward and picked me up, pulling my knees in.
Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) Page 17