“Would you two stop? We’re trying to relax over here,” Ryan complained. “This is a hot tub not a boxing ring.” He took a long swig of his beer. Ali rested under his arm.
Zach found my ear furthest away from Grant. “Do you want to clue me in on what caused this tiff?” He whispered. The steam coming off the water was difficult to see through.
“It would ruin the evening.” My jaw was tight with anger. That didn’t make him happy and he chugged his beer. “Are you supposed to be drinking?” I spoke softly.
“It’s one beer and my PO is in Medford.” He winked.
My mind jumped immediately to our deal. “So, if we’re breaking rules?”
He laughed out loud and I dug my fingers into his side.
“Want to share with the group?” Grant inquired.
“NO!” Zach and I snapped in unison and smiled.
“Grant…go away…you’re like a third wheel…look around.” Naturally, at that moment, Claire made her appearance in a different bikini than before. I was certain there was less material to this one. I eyed Ali who inched closer to Ryan. Claire was the last chick Ryan had dated. God, the list was long and I hoped Ali stayed on it for a while. Claire floated into the water, her boobs three times the size of mine. I was glad I was down under.
Grant welcomed her with open arms and I thought I was going to puke. I nestled into Zach’s arms and kissed his chin hoping to instigate a kiss. He watched me intently but didn’t respond. My lips pressed against his and he kissed back emotionless. I moved closer to nibble his ear.
“Stop,” he said. As I studied his face, I could tell he was serious and his eyes were stern.
“Why?” my voice cracked as rejection settled over me and in front of Grant no less. I prayed he didn’t hear us. The bubbles blowing out of the jets were loud and that helped.
“Because you’re doing it for him. And I refuse to give him the satisfaction.” He wiped a trickle of sweat from my face.
“I’m sorry.” My inadequate words didn’t seem enough. I glared at Grant who seemed hell bent on destroying my night.
Grant and Claire were whispering and my eye roll didn’t go unnoticed because Grant looked at me and laughed.
I jabbed my finger in his direction. “You’re a jackass.”
“Look, Runt. Just because you’ve kissed two boys in one day—just like you did yesterday—doesn’t mean you need to get all worked up about it. Don’t make me out to be the bad guy.” His cocky grin was all it took.
I glanced at Zach and shook my head. “He’s lying.”
“Am I…lying? Choose your words wisely. We know how much dear sweet Em hates liars.” His tone was sarcastic and hurtful.
“Meiers. You better back down.” Zach threatened, his body tensed under the water.
Ryan spoke up. “Come on Grant. Knock it off.”
“He totally tricked me.” My voice was loud. “Blood was oozing from his brainless head and I was feeling all guilty. Then he was like ‘oh Chloe, I’ve missed you and I need you to kiss me’…so I friggin did…like an idiot.”
Zach’s nostrils flared. His grip tightened on me. “It’s so sad that you had to resort to tricking her.”
Grant chuckled.
“Man, just stop. What are you doing?” Ryan asked his best friend.
Grant shrugged his shoulders and kissed Claire’s cheek.
“And that’s not the worst part. Do you want to tell him about the hospital?”
He rubbed his forehead. “They’d just given me some drugs.” He laid his head back and rested it on the fiberglass pillow. “I was so out of it. What are you talking about?” he asked, and when everyone looked at me, he winked.
I surprised myself when I actually snarled and a growl rose in my throat.
“Let’s go inside,” Claire said in a seductive tone and emerged from the water, her body steaming.
Grant ran his hand up the back of her skinny thigh stopping shy of her butt cheek. She oozed out a suggestive laugh and gracefully climbed over the side—Grant in hot pursuit.
I let out a sigh of relief. “My apologies for my behavior,” I said to all three of them. Ali smirked.
“What the hell happened between you two?” Ryan asked with a slight insinuation that maybe it wasn’t all Grant’s fault.
“He’s just an ass,” I responded and nestled closer to Zach.
His skin was cold above water and felt soothing to my hot face. I relaxed fully in his arms as his hand raked up and down my back.
Both boys drank another beer offering Ali and me small sips. The taste was repulsive just like before. I didn’t like the feeling, but the older girls were drinking, and, well…they weren’t legal either. After finishing his bottle, Ryan stood.
“We’re out of here. Ali’s a raisin,” he said holding up the hand he held. She smiled and followed behind him.
“Goodnight, Em,” she said.
“Hey. We need to be on the road by eight. Dad’s order,” Ryan added handing Ali a towel.
I nodded. “I’ll be ready.” A sudden sadness hit me about saying goodbye to Zach.
“Don’t start thinking about it,” he whispered reading my mind. In response, I kissed him to stop the thoughts from coming. His mouth seemed as hot as the water and a groan escaped my lips. After a short minute he pulled away.
“Do me a favor?” he asked softly.
“Anything.” I couldn’t think of a thing in this world that I wouldn’t do for him. He swung me around so my back was against his chest.
“Promise me, you’ll do it.”
“I promise. You have my word.”
“Lay your head back.”
I did and I felt his collarbone behind my head.
“Close your eyes.”
“They’re already closed.”
“Good, keep ‘em closed.”
I smiled. “I might fall asleep.”
“Then I’ll put you to bed.”
I giggled.
“Now…don’t move…just breathe and relax.”
I took a long, deep, premeditated breath and let it out slowly.
“Good,” he said. His mouth skimmed my ear as he spoke and his breath was warm. I felt his body slide forward forcing me to lay back. The water inched up the back of my neck. I was really starting to worry about falling asleep.
Then, he kissed the area right in front of my ear. My teeth bit down on my bottom lip as his tongue lightly touched my ear lobe. Both hands circled my waist, then skimmed down my outer thighs. OH!
His hands slid easily through the hot water over the tops of my thighs. My breathing was uneven and I gasped as he grazed my bikini bottoms. I jolted forward instantly bringing my legs down off his.
“Ah! Ah! Sit baaack.” His arms wrapped my waist tugging my body back. “Put your legs back where they were.”
“Zach. What…”
“You promised.” He reminded me in a gentle tone.
But I was thinking more along the lines of ‘promise me you won’t get depressed tomorrow’ ‘promise me you’ll marry me.’ This hadn’t even crossed my mind. I reluctantly put my legs back on his.
“Now. Close your eyes.”
I swallowed hard. My lungs tried to keep up. “Closed.” My heart raced at an uncontrollable speed.
“Relax.”
“Trying! What if someone sees us?”
He was by my ear again. “It’s dark out here and no one is looking. If they do, they’re going to see the back of my head.”
I took a slow breath. His hands were there again. First my stomach, then my thighs…a nibble on the ear…I rolled my head over and leaned back for a kiss, but he only pecked my lips then turned away.
“You’re supposed to be relaxing, not thinking about me.” It seemed like an order.
He rubbed across my suit and my stomach trembled. “I can’t…” I moaned.
“You can. Please…just…calm…down. I won’t hurt you.” He caressed my stomach, up both arms, over my throat. My breathin
g stabilized for the moment. Why was this so hard for me? I didn’t understand my body. It craved his hands…his touch… but my mind told me no.
He kissed my collarbone and I felt an overwhelming need to reciprocate so I moved my hands up his legs.
“No,” he whispered. “You’re being difficult. Please follow directions.”
I smiled though I was sure he couldn’t see and kept my arms still.
“Are your eyes closed?”
“Yes.”
“Do you feel good?”
“Yes…but…”
“No buts. Just let me touch you. Trust me.”
I could barely hear his words over the soft roar of the bubbles. I felt my shoulders relax against his chest and my arms floated down in the water next to his legs. I took a long, even breath as I tried to do what he wanted. His hands pressed tenderly against the skin on my stomach and I felt his pinky slide beneath the waistband of my swimsuit. I instinctively began to move but then calmed myself by trusting him. This was one of the hardest things I’d ever done—not turning my body toward him and forcing my lips to his.
His other hand began an upward motion and I knew he was going to touch my breast so I tried to prepare myself, hoping that my noises were contained. I called it. His left hand covered my bikini top on the right side. He had grazed over the top last night and cupped it the night we were busted by my parents. But this…this gentle massaging was not only incredible but second base, right? When his hand slid beneath the material, it was official. I smiled to myself and held my breath.
Before I could fully exhale, his hands ran over the material of my bottoms and down between my legs. My body ached and blood rushed to where his hands touched. I wanted to yell stop because I was scared of what I was feeling, but I knew he would and I wasn’t sure I wanted him too. The material between him and my body was suddenly aggravating to me. I brought my hand up out of the water and rubbed my steamed face. Maybe I was unintentionally trying to cover it—embarrassed of the panting that always accompanied this. Could he hear me?
“Lay your head back,” he whispered, though I hadn’t realized it had come up. I did as he said and he nuzzled his nose into my hair. Then he kissed me softly, tracing the length of my neck with little pecks. I’d never been touched like this and I was suddenly afraid I’d never be again.
“Does it feel good?”
I nodded. I think.
And in that moment, I realized that now there was no material between his hand and me. Third Base!
“Zach. I’m scared…” I whispered as I grabbed his hand and gripped it tightly.
“Don’t be,” he comforted pulling his hands away. “Em. I need you to trust me and know that I wouldn’t hurt you or do anything you don’t want to. ”
God I loved it when he said my name and this time, his voice was a rough whisper. I couldn’t really move or speak.
“Being out here, I knew it couldn’t…wouldn’t get out of control. I didn’t have to worry about it going too far. I just wanted you. You don’t know how incredible it feels knowing you want me.” I heard a low groan deep in his throat and I draped my hand behind his neck and pulled him to my mouth. His kiss was hungry; mine seemed weak…physically weak…I wasn’t sure if my lips even puckered before I rested my head against him.
He massaged my fingers. “You’re skin is shriveled up. Let’s get you inside.”
And, just like that we were up and out of the water.
THIRTY-ONE
Zach
When she stepped out of the bedroom in my USC shirt and her sweats, an instant smile spread across my face. She swam inside the gigantic shirt; it hung past her knees. She met my gaze, blood invaded her cheeks and she looked away. I didn’t like that, but I assumed she was embarrassed about what happened in the hot tub.
Never had I been concerned about a girl’s feelings before, but I wanted to assure this one that I was going nowhere. Less than an hour ago, she trusted me with her body. And given the way I had violated girls in the past, I didn’t deserve her trust. Thank God she didn’t know. For whatever reason, she saw the good in me. I wouldn’t let her down.
Simply thinking about what happened in the hot tub, made my lower half react more than I wanted, and I was glad a down throw covered me. I patted the pillow next to my head as she approached the sofa. To my relief, she smiled. Her tiny little body curled up next to mine.
The bedroom doors were shut and things were quiet. This was our last night before returning to my own living hell without her. I’d barely made it two weeks without going insane and still had two months left. It had to be done or I’d lose her for good.
Her eyes were my best gauge for her emotions, but she wouldn’t meet my gaze. I needed to see in them. I tried to remember this was new to her. No one had ever touched her before and that made my heart tingle.
I lay flat on my back on the oversized sofa, and I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her onto me. Her head rested on my chest and moved up and down with each breath. We watched Sportscenter on ESPN. The muted TV previewed upcoming BCS bowl games.
An anxious, unfamiliar feeling grew inside of me. Another foreign feeling when it came to Emma. Something was wrong. Usually after fooling around with a girl, I found them needy and pathetic for attention. But—she wouldn’t even look at me. Roles had been reversed. I was the pathetic needy one! Had I pushed her too far? I only wanted her to know she could trust me. She was one girl I would never push into something she wasn’t ready for. My hand instinctively rubbed her back, soothing her? Then I propped my head up with my other hand and purposefully cleared my throat. Finally! She looked up at me planting her chin in my chest. The little V between her eyes was there again, and this time I didn’t know why. Shit! I didn’t know what to say, and I turned back to Sportscenter.
“I love you,” she spoke softly.
Shocked, I glanced away from the TV. “What? Where did that come from?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know.”
Coming from her, those three words were music to my ears. With my other hand, I ran my fingers through her tangled hair gently working them through. “And I love you baby girl,” I whispered as my thumb traced over her eyebrows and softly caressed the V away. Her eyes closed.
“Zach?”
“Hmm?”
Her face turned red before the words came out. “Why did you…” she shook her head.
“Why did I what?”
“In the hot tub. Why…”
The corners of my mouth turned up. She liked me touching her? I stared at her patiently praying for that to be confirmed.
“What made you?” She lowered her head and buried her nose in my chest.
“What made me…what?”
She lifted her right foot and kicked my left shin. “Stop…you know. What made you do that?”
I hugged her tightly. “I’m not sure I had some grand plan to do that if that’s what you mean.”
“I wasn’t saying that.” She was embarrassed and laid her cheek against my chest. I think I hurt her feelings. “It was a stupid question.”
I cradled her cheeks in my palms. “Haven’t you ever heard no question is a stupid question?” I smiled. “I don’t know why tonight, Emma. I wanted my touch to feel good. Did it? ” I whispered.
“You just proved your theory wrong. That was a stupid question,” she said biting her lip.
So it did feel good. Relief again.
“Maybe. But tell me anyway. Did me touching you feel good? ” Her innocent eyes seduced me without her even realizing it.
She sighed. “Well, it was…nice.”
“Nice?” I questioned a little too loudly because Brett stirred on the other sofa. “A picnic is nice, Emma. A walk in the park is nice. My boyfriend touching me… nice?” I asked sarcastically.
Suddenly, she rose all the way up on her arms and narrowed her eyes. “Are you kidding me? It was…it was…perfect.”
I smiled on that one. “All right. Better.”
&
nbsp; She leaned in and brushed my lips with a kiss. “Zachary Dale Owens.”
“Uh, oh. The full name,” I chuckled.
“Sometimes…I feel stupid…and young and I feel like I don’t deserve you and that you should be with someone who can offer you more.”
What?? “Baby. What more could I possibly want?”
“Someone who knows what they’re doing.”
I positioned my body more upright. “Who’s kidding who now? I don’t care what you know or don’t know. I enjoyed that just as much as you. Believe me.”
She scratched her head and didn’t say anything.
“Listen.” I paused. “You wanted to know why tonight. I’ll tell you, but you can’t get mad.”
She pouted and I could tell she was unsure if she could make that deal. “Kay.”
I studied her beautiful face. “Every time you and I—touch. I feel so bad. When I touch you…” I stopped and looked at her. Her eyes were scared. I had to soften the words. “You…your body…it’s response to me. I don’t know if I scare you or if you’re nervous.”
“I’m not scared.”
“Are you sure? Because your quivers measure an 8.4 on the Richter scale,” I teased, grinning. Thank God she smiled.
“I’m not scared,” she repeated. “I can’t help it.” She rested her nose on my sternum and I forced her chin up with my finger. When our eyes met she said, “I’m sorry.”
“Emma. Baby. Don’t be sorry. You have no idea what it does to me when you tremble.”
“Well. I’m not scared. It…” She shook her head. “It drives me crazy.”
“Crazy?” I asked.
“Wait! Not crazy crazy. Ryan has always said that guys don’t like crazy. So, not crazy like that. A good crazy,” She corrected quickly.
I understood, and a cheesy smile took over my face. “I want to drive you crazy. When I hear just the slightest whimper come from you, I swear to God, I…” Truth be told, I couldn’t tell her what those whimpers did to me. They reminded me of her innocence. They reminded me of what I wanted to take from her. But I also knew that it had to be when she was ready. “I just needed to know that you weren’t scared.”
Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) Page 18