Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys)

by Pelton, Kristi

  “We’re just questioning him,” he replied as he shut the car door.

  “But he didn’t do anything.” The tears were streaming down my cheeks. My heart felt as if it would explode.

  “Ma’am?” The paramedic asked, “you need to calm down.”

  “RYAN! I’m fine. Don’t let them take me. Please.”

  “Em. Mom and Dad will meet you at the hospital and Ali and I’ll come straight there.”

  I looked at Ali who was still crying.

  “Ryan, please. Let me ride with you. I’ll go to the hospital,” I begged and promised at the same time.

  He squeezed my hand. “I can’t. They said since you’re a minor that you have to be transported. There was a lot of blood, Em.”

  “We aren’t going to hurt you but your head needs sutures,” The paramedic explained.

  “Stitches and an ambulance…it doesn’t make sense. I’ll go, I promise. But why can’t my brother drive me?” I asked more calmly.

  She patted me in a condescending manner. “Because you’ve lost blood and you apparently lost consciousness. Please, don’t make us restrain you, sweetheart.” Her tone was soothing and I surrendered.

  Before I knew it, I was lying on the gurney. I didn’t want to do this. I sat up and fought to see Zach. The car hadn’t moved and his eyes were on me, his fist resting against his mouth. I quickly flashed the I love you hand sign and he flashed it back. The sadness in his eyes was unbearable. Then, the doors to the ambulance closed.

  THIRTY-FIVE

  ZACH

  When the doors on the ambulance shut, so did the door to my heart. The time had come to end this. I was poison to her. Nothing good could come out of me staying. I would hurt her when I left anyway, so if I stay it’s only delaying the inevitable. This commitment thing was overwhelming and she deserved someone to treat her right.

  Ryan, Grant and Ali piled into the truck and followed the ambulance. The ache in my chest as they pulled away was nearly unbearable and like nothing I’d ever felt. I didn’t like that. I hated it. Ryan would take care of her though. I forced myself not to think about Grant. Dick. How did he find out?

  The ambulance siren faded. The heater in the Trooper’s cruiser was blowing on high and the police radio wouldn’t shut up. I banged my forehead on the headrest repeatedly wishing it was me in that ambulance. How the hell did she get hurt? The blood, her face…the images haunted me. I needed her out of my head.

  The officer with the stale breath opened my passenger door and helped me out by lifting my tricep.

  “I’m sorry, Son. Just had to get an all clear of no pending warrants given your probation. Everything looks good but we will send a report to your PO in Medford.”

  I closed my eyes, hearing the key unlock the cuffs. The outside air felt refreshing.

  “So, I’m free to go?” I asked rubbing where the silver had circled.

  He nodded. “Yes, Sir. And just so you know, she made it to the hospital. Still conscious.”

  Knowing she was safe, in good hands, a relief I’d never known flooded over me.

  “Thank you,” I said, giving the officer a nod.

  “Go to her. She was pretty upset with us for keeping you.”

  When I got in the Jeep, I could smell her and as soon as I brought the Jeep to life, I knew exactly where I was going. At the very least, she deserved a fair goodbye. Besides, as soon as Grant told her what he knew, she’d end it with me. Either way, we were over; so for now, I’d go to her.

  THIRTY-SIX

  EMMA

  The look on my parents’ face was of sheer terror as the paramedics wheeled me into the emergency room. I felt terrible for their worry. My mom looked ten years older as she approached us with my dad keeping pace behind her.

  “Emma!” she groaned in desperation.

  “Mom. I’m totally fine. I have a small cut on my head,” I explained.

  “Oh, honey. When Ryan called, you were unconscious.”

  “She came right to after that,” Ryan said running in from the hallway. I was relieved he was there. “She’s a tough sister.”

  My dad stepped to the bed. “How did you hit your head on the truck?”

  “Well? Grant…”

  Ryan cut me off. “Dad. I told you. We were swapping seats at a rest stop and she jumped up quickly and hit her head. It happened so fast. Knocked her silly. There was an OHP officer there and he thought we should call an ambulance because of the blood. You should have seen Em. She was ticked!” He laughed and winked.

  “Please,” I started where he left off. “An ambulance? It was so not necessary.” Anything to get my folks’ mind off of what happened. “How does my head look?”

  “Honey. The blood,” My mom whispered.

  Why did everyone keep saying that? I glanced down at my shirt and saw drips of blood all over the front of it. Hmm. I hadn’t noticed before.

  “Bring her into this room,” A woman in scrubs ordered pulling back a curtain. The door read TRAUMA. This was hardly traumatic. A bright light flipped on overhead and it hurt my eyes. Suddenly three or four people were hustling around me. One washed my forehead and hairline. A stabbing pain was suddenly there as they poked and pulled then warned me of the shots to deaden it. I kept my eyes closed as they worked; the stinging nearly unbearable. The medicine seemed to make my heart race and a funny taste filled my mouth. They talked to me as they worked which was nice. The smell of whatever they used churned my stomach.

  I heard my dad’s deep voice in the hallway and I heard Ryan. I closed my eyes, and, for a moment, I dreamed I heard Zach. I ached for him and wondered where he was at this moment. Why would they have taken him in? What had started the fight? Grant made the deal with my brother that I was off limits. SO…I figured Grant said something to Zach. The nurse came in and examined the seamstress’s performance. Evidently, a job well done though I wasn’t allowed to leave. Ryan stepped into the room. Mom and Dad were completing paperwork.

  “How ya doin?” he asked with both hands in his pockets.

  “Worried about Zach.”

  “Grant knows. The officer said something about him being on probation. That’s what was with the further questioning. He doesn’t know why and I played dumb.”

  “Do you know where he is?”

  “No. We followed you here.”

  “Where are Grant and Ali?”

  “In the truck. Grant’s face is pretty whacked. None of us thought we needed to address that in front of Mom and Dad or anybody else.”

  A smile touched the corners of my mouth as I thought about Grant. It wasn’t fair and it wasn’t nice but it served him right. “So. What happened??”

  Ryan shrugged. “Who knows. Grant got an ass whoopin’ though.” Ryan smiled on that one.

  “Was Zach hurt?” The words burned my mouth. I would rather die than have him hurt.

  “Sis, he can hold his own. Don’t worry about him.” His cell phone rang and he muted it then walked to the hall. I laid my head back and closed my eyes but kept picturing Zach in the back of the highway patrol car. His eyes haunted me. I rubbed my neck and instantly realized my necklace was gone. Oh my God!

  “Ryan!” My voice was an urgent whisper. No response.

  “Ryan!” Louder this time. Nothing. I recounted my steps. Out of the Jeep, into the truck, out of the truck and into the ambulance. Where could it be? It made me sick to think about the chain breaking and losing…I couldn’t go there. Where was everyone? Everything seemed so quiet. My heart beat steady in my chest and I could even feel the pulsing in my wound. It was certainly throbbing and seemed to coincide with my heart. I heard someone running in the hallway. It made me sad as I thought about sad scenarios—stroke, heart attack, car accident and the running slowed then stopped. I heard the footsteps come into the room and I opened my eyes.

  “Zach!” Nothing could have prepared me for the shock of his face. His lip was swollen and a line of dried blood curved down the bottom lip. Under his eye by his cheekbone, h
is skin was scraped and raw. Blood ran just below the surface of his skin. I rolled my lips together unsure what to say. In an instant, he was at my bedside taking me into his arms.

  “Oh.” He breathed as if he’d held his breath underwater for as long as he possibly could stand. He stroked my hair and I heard his heart now beating beneath my ear, pounding under his shirt. “I…am so…sorry.” His voice cracked and I pulled away to study his face. Why was he sorry?

  His eyes held unwarranted pain and I touched his face. He grabbed my hand and kissed it and tucked it in to his chest.

  “Why are you sorry?” I asked.

  His eyes closed and he wrestled with what he wanted to say. “I should have controlled my anger. I let him get to me.” He paused. The gravity in his tone matched his hardened eyes. “You got hurt because of me.” His tightened jaw defined his cheekbones but I didn’t like his clenched fists.

  “What did he say to you?”

  He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re OK.” He gently pushed my hair back and examined the stitches. “Seven, huh?” He pressed his lips against my forehead and I inhaled his scent.

  “I can’t find the rings. They were around my neck and now they’re gone. I can’t lose them.” I’m sure I sounded panicked. As if trying to calm me, he rubbed my back.

  “I’ll find them,” he said his voice barely audible.

  “What happened with the police?”

  He answered but wouldn’t look at me. “No charges. Thank God. But he’s going to report the incident to my PO.”

  “PO?”

  “Probation officer.”

  “What’s going to happen?”

  He shrugged and didn’t seem to care. Something was wrong. I could tell. Suddenly my dad walked through the door. I pulled out of Zach’s arms. He noticed and faced my father, sliding his hands into his pockets.

  “Daddy. Please...”

  My dad held up his palm to shush me. “Zach called and asked for permission to be here, Emma. I’m not upset. But the doctor’s discharged you.”

  Finally! I swung my legs off the bed and grinned.

  “Zach. Would you be willing to bring her home?” My dad asked giving Zach’s face a thorough glance over, as he left the room.

  “Yes, sir.” Zach smiled, but the happiness didn’t touch his eyes. The hair on my neck to stood on end.

  The Jeep ride home was uncomfortably quiet. I didn’t know what to say and Zach said nothing. He put my hand to his mouth repeatedly and kissed my fingers but the words never came. Though I knew he wasn’t angry with me, I couldn’t put my finger on what upset him. The probation issue was what I came up with. But I wasn’t sure and curiosity ate at me. Could he possibly conceive how much I loved him?

  In the driveway, he shifted into park but didn’t cut the engine. My heart fell into the pit of my stomach. He wasn’t coming in. He wasn’t moving at all. I finally turned to him.

  “You OK?”

  He slowly nodded. “I’m fine.”

  I’d never seen his eyes expressionless. His beautiful brown eyes were my personal window to his soul and he wouldn’t look at me. Was he implying I wasn’t fine? Because I was. Seven stitches. Big deal.

  “Come on. I’ll walk you up.” And just like that, he was shutting his door and around the Jeep at mine. Wasn’t it just this morning that he’d given me his class rings? And last night that I’d slept in his arms all night long? I tried desperately to muster up courage and security. He wanted me to feel secure in us. I was attempting it but failing.

  Once at the front door, I heard him release a long breath and his eyes flickered to mine for a short second. Then he gripped me tight. My cheek pressed hard against his chest and goose bumps crawled across my skin. Don’t leave. Don’t leave. Please just hold me forever. I wasn’t sure I could breathe without him. Then I felt his embrace release and I held my own breath so my tears wouldn’t betray me. His palms were under my jaw lifting my chin and his mouth came down to mine. There was the air I needed to survive another day blowing through my mouth and into my lungs. By the time I had gathered my thoughts enough to return the kiss, he was done and pulled away.

  I think my heart stopped. He didn’t say goodbye and he didn’t wave. He abandoned me on my front porch assuming I could make it in the house on my own. I wasn’t so sure and the tears fell.

  No one else was home yet. I went straight upstairs and drew some bath water pouring beads into the tub. I threw my clothes into the hamper and pulled my hair up into a clip. The mirror fogged over from the steam and I wiped it with a towel. That’s when I saw the image Zach had seen…my face…streaked with dried blood. My mouth fell open and I was horrified. I was nothing short of Carrie covered in pig blood at her prom. It all made sense now, everyone kept saying ‘the blood’ and I thought they over exaggerated…but they hadn’t.

  I turned on the water as hot as tolerable and scrubbed at my face, digging with my fingernails at the dried blood. It was matted in my hair and I raised a clump up. I’d had no idea I’d bled this much. The water in the tub was scalding, hotter than the hot tub had been. The heat of the water pricked my skin and was barely tolerable. For some reason I felt like I deserved to be punished—burn and wash away my selfishness. Zach was, after all, defending my honor with Grant. And through all of this hadn’t I led Grant on to make him believe maybe there was a chance with me? None of this was Zach’s fault.

  Zach was so good to me—Grant too for that matter. Perhaps I didn’t deserve either. Sweat formed across my brow and I was too hot. I thought about the night in the hot tub. How great it had been to feel his touch. I’d read so many times how a girls first time with sex was nothing like the movies or books portrayed. That it was actually painful, or worse—uneventful. I couldn’t imagine it that way with Zach. I wondered if our first would be what I fantasized about.

  I heard noise downstairs and decided to drain the water. I remained there—soaking—till the water was half gone. I towel dried, darted to my room, then threw on some sweats and a sweatshirt. The clock read 1:30. One day before Christmas break was over. One afternoon and night to endure before seeing him again. Someone tapped on my door.

  “Come in.”

  Ryan opened the door. “Hey, Runt. How you feelin?”

  I shrugged and didn’t think he cared to hear how miserable I was. “OK.”

  He moved closer to the bed with a suspicious grin.

  “What?” I asked.

  He held his fist out to his side, then something fell from his fist when he opened it but dangled from his finger. My rings! I lunged up and threw my arms around his neck.

  “Oh Ryan. Thank you! I didn’t know where… thank you.” I retrieved them from his finger and held them to my heart.

  “I didn’t know if you wanted mom and dad to see them or not. They know Zach was at Shasta, though,” He warned.

  “They mad?”

  He shrugged one shoulder and shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think you getting hurt helped.”

  Who’d of thought? I laughed to myself.

  I crossed my legs and lay back against my pillows. “Ry. What did Grant say to Zach to piss him off?”

  He shrugged. “I tried to get it out of both of them. But neither would budge. They ain’t talkin.” He scratched his head and I could tell he was mulling over something. I waited. Then he pulled a pillow under his chin. He was ready. “Em.” OK, he never called me Em. “Have you and Zach…you know?”

  I yanked a pillow from behind my head and hit him with it. “That’s none of your business.” I blushed. “Have you two?”

  “That’s none of your business,” he mocked me in a girly voice. “Ali wants to.”

  “And you don’t?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Hell yeah. But she’s fifteen.”

  “AND won’t be sixteen until next September,” I added.

  “Thanks.” He tossed a small pillow up in the air and caught it.

  “You’re leaving in
August. I know you too well. You’re not going to want a girl back here to worry about.” I tried to rationalize.

  He stared at me, maybe surprised by my opinion of him. “You don’t think I could do it?”

  “Ryan. It’s not a dare. Of course you could do it. Do you like her that much?” Now I was surprised.

  Wrinkles formed across his forehead as he thought. “I like her. She’s fun. What about you and Zach? What happens when he leaves?”

  Bile rose in the back of my throat as he even said the words. “I don’t know.” Keep it brief. Don’t think about it, I told myself.

  “So why haven’t you two done the deed?” He blurted. “Not that I would encourage it.”

  “I’m fifteen too, remember.” I kicked him in the gut with my heel.

  “And you don’t want to?” he smiled.

  “Hell yeah!” I repeated his words and we both laughed. “But he won’t.”

  “That’s good.” Ryan stood and walked to the door. “I know there’s a double standard but hold out as long as you can.” He winked and pulled the door closed.

  Downstairs, my parents were fixing Sunday dinner together. Odd. Not that we didn’t have Sunday dinner every Sunday…but it was usually mom cooking while dad crashed in front of the TV and watched football. I knew it was bowl time and for him to miss that was out of character.

  “What’s up?” I asked casually.

  Both of them looked up and smiled. “Emma. You look better.” My mom kissed my cheek as I peeked in the pot. “We’re making your favorite.”

  “Yum. Chicken and noodles, sound good. No football, Dad?”

  “Ducks play at three.”

  Well, there you go. Ten minutes and counting.

  “How’s your head, sweetheart?” Dad asked.

  “I kind of have a headache,” I complained hoping pity might come my way.

  “Zach didn’t stay?” My dad asked like he was shocked.

  I raised my eyebrows and it hurt so I tried a different facial expression. “Could he have?” My heart picked up it’s pace.