“Andre?”
My eyes darted to a middle-aged man who got up and met the guy at the door and went in. The room smelled funny…musty…not clean and after a while, it burned my nose. The door opened again. Zach stepped out with a heavyset man. Zach’s eyes met mine and widened first with recognition then anger.
“Emma. I told you to wait in the car.”
“I’m sorry. I got worried. Are you done?” At the moment I asked, I saw the latex gloves on the man’s hands and a small plastic container in his other.
“Not yet,” Zach’s said his jaw tight.
The man two seats away snickered and I looked at him for the first time. He was smirking at me and his eyes narrowed roaming over me from head to toe. His clothes were dirty, and I saw grease spots on his jeans.
“I’ll be right back,” Zach clarified. “Don’t move.” And he was gone.
“Thatcha boyfriend?” the man asked.
I nodded feeling an obligation to be nice.
“You can’t be but what….how old you?”
“Sixteen,” I lied watching the door Zach went out.
He rotated in his seat. “Ahh. To be sixteen again. Enjoy it, Doll.”
I offered him a smile and he moved a seat over and sat next to me. “You see that?” He pointed to a pale scar stretching from his wrist to his elbow.
His sudden closeness frightened me and I wasn’t sure why, we were in a courthouse full of officers and people. “Yes.”
“That’s where…”
Suddenly, my arm jerked nearly out of it’s socket and Zach was storming with me in tow out the door. “You’re hurting me.”
He instantly let go and looked at me. “The one thing I ask and you can’t do it?”
“What…what did I not do?” He took my hand again. This time more gently.
“I asked you to stay in the Jeep.” His words had calmed. “It doesn’t matter.”
“Then why are you upset? Did you not want your PO to see me?” Zach was at my door. I pulled his keys from my purse and handed them to him. He opened my door and I got in. He closed the door and went to his side. “Did I embarrass you?”
He hit the steering wheel. “I’m on probation for drugs, do UA’s, have to go to meetings and you think I’m embarrassed of you.” He shook his head like I was dense. “Don’t you see Em. I’m the embarrassment. You would never be in that office talking with those people if it wasn’t for me. You should never have stepped foot in there. That’s why we shouldn’t be together. You should never be subjected to this sort of thing. Yesterday when I said my PO…you didn’t have a clue what I was saying. Now you spout it off like it’s part of your daily conversations.”
Another reason not to be together. He made it sound like those outweighed the reason’s we should. “Fine. Take me to Safeway, let me shoplift, get arrested then it’ll be OK if we’re in this together,” I scoffed.
He glared at me. “Not funny.” His tone harsh. “That was stupid,” he said softer.
“No. You’re being stupid. So what if you are on probation? Everyone screws up at some time or another.”
“Yeah, but, I gave it one hundred percent effort.” His scowl twisted upward and I smiled.
“See…you are good at something,” I teased. “What did he say about the fight?”
“He’s going to talk to the judge. I may get a twenty-four hour sanction.” He looked out the window.
“I don’t know what that means.” I hated saying it, but it was true.
Suddenly, my hand was in his and he kissed my fingertips. “Why would you?” He questioned and I wondered if he meant to say it aloud. “It means I may get locked up for twenty-four hours and…”
“In JAIL?” My heart raced. This couldn’t happen. I wouldn’t let it. This had been my fault to begin with.
He squeezed my hand. “We don’t know yet so don’t panic. OK?” He must have seen the fear in my eyes. The Jeep was moving slower than the other cars on I-5 and I wondered if he was buying time. I nodded. The thought of him being locked up…away from me…made me sick.
“It was just a fight.”
“Em. There are conditions of probation. You can’t hang out with people who are known criminals…like myself.”
“Stop.”
He laughed. “You have to attend school, be on time, keep in contact with your PO, stay clean, and not engage in illegal activity…fighting included.” He made the turn on my street. I didn’t want to be home.
“When is later?”
He paused trying to decide what to say. “I suppose now is later. But I’d like to tell you at my house.”
I wasn’t sure if that remark was good or bad news. “OK. Let me go and throw a casserole in the oven then I’ll have some time.”
In the drive, I reached into the backseat and grabbed the shorts. “May I?”
“Have them?”
I eagerly nodded.
“I don’t care. They need washed.”
“I know. I smelled them earlier.”
His mouth fell open with a repulsed look on his face. “Why does that not surprise me?”
I smiled, shut the door and ran up to the house.
When we got to Zach’s, his dad was leaving with his golf clubs.
“Hello, Emma. Zach.”
“Hi Dad. Golf? Use a colored ball, there’s still snow on the ground.” Zach slung his backpack over one shoulder.
“Hi, Mr. Owens.”
His dad laughed. “I’m taking them in to get them re-gripped. After that, your mother and I are meeting Dan and Susan for dinner. What are you two doing?” he asked sliding the clubs into his trunk.
“We’ll probably eat a bite and then hang out.”
His father gave an approving nod but added. “Hang out downstairs, all right?”
Zach held his hand up like a gun and lowered his thumb like he was firing. “Good tip, Dad. Thanks.”
I grinned at his dad and I’m sure he saw the blush rushing into my cheeks. Zach shut the door behind us. He watched his dad pull away then set the alarm.
“Is that necessary?”
“If there is one thing I learned from your house. Expect them when you shouldn’t. This will let us know. You hungry?”
I was. “A little.”
He opened the kitchen cupboard. “Popcorn?”
“Sure.”
After grabbing a soda from the fridge, he opened it and handed it to me. He tossed the popcorn in the microwave then grabbed me close.
“So, this is why you set the alarm,” I smirked. We hadn’t kissed in a couple of days and I’d missed him.
“Maybe. Do you want to kiss a criminal?” His nose touched mine.
“Actually,” I brushed my lips across his without kissing him. “it’s really a turn on and I was thinking about contacting a death row inmate. I hear they are looking for chicks to e-mail.”
“You think?” He hugged me tightly then lifted me and sat me on top of the granite countertop. “I think one criminal in your life is one too many.” He maneuvered his way between my legs. We still weren’t eye level but closer and my legs dangled at his sides.
“I love my big 4.0 GPA thug,” I hazed.
“Your thug loves you too.” He laughed quietly then pressed his mouth to mine. I’d never been addicted to anything…but I had a feeling this is how an addict felt. I broke free, which was hard to do.
“What’s wrong?”
“When you were using…you know….drugs.” I looked down ashamed that I’d brought it up.
“Yes.”
“Did you do it because you were addicted?”
“I did it because it made me forget about what was happening. I was reckless across the board. I did a lot of stupid shit.” He pulled me close and I leaned my chin against his shoulder.
“Why?” he asked.
“You’ll laugh.” I didn’t want to say.
“Try me.”
I couldn’t see his face so maybe I wouldn’t know if he laughed. “You
’re my drug,” I whispered. “I need you.” He didn’t laugh and he reared his head back scrutinizing my face then kissed me again. I felt his tongue on my bottom lip and my body became so limp I think he held me up in his arms. What was it about his kiss? I couldn’t think straight and his breath was warm and inviting. His hands traced down my back till they met the countertop then he pulled my lower body toward the edge till our bodies met. My legs wrapped around him and I wasn’t sure if they were connected to my body anymore because my reaction wasn’t conscious. He lifted me off the countertop and turned to walk, his arms wrapped so tightly around me, I knew I wouldn’t fall. I wondered if his eyes were open.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! I dropped my legs and broke off our kiss. My legs dangled as he held firmly. “The alarm.” I informed him, my eyes wide.
Then he swung my legs up and caught them with the other arm. “How about the microwave.”
Relief settled over me as it registered that he was right. “Oh.” He replaced me in my position on the granite and got a bowl. I hopped off the counter and opened the microwave. Steam billowed out as I poured the popcorn into the bowl smelling delicious.
We flipped the channels and munched on the popcorn. Remembering the casserole at home, I texted Ryan and begged him to tell Mom and Dad that Zach and I were grabbing a bite. Hopefully, he’d comply. I’d know as soon as I got home.
Zach took the empty bowl and cans to the kitchen and as he walked back through the family room, took my hand and led me upstairs. I figured to his room.
“You’re dad said to stay downstairs,” I reminded him.
“Uh-huh.”
“You’re breaking the ruuules,” I teased.
“Uh-huh.”
We rounded the corner to his room and he moved an old popcorn tin next to the desk chair. He sat on the tin and patted the chair. I sat in front of the computer.
“What are we doing?” This isn’t what I thought he had in mind.
“It’s later…right?” His Adam’s apple moved up then down as he swallowed.
I remembered what my mission was and why we’d come to his house. The blank flat screen monitor sat on his desk. He moved the mouse and it lighted to life. Then he clicked on Google.
I put my hand over his on top of the mouse and his eyes flickered to mine. I lifted his hand and pulled it in to my heart. I stared at the Google page and couldn’t for the life of me anticipate what was coming. I wondered if he could feel my heart beating against my chest. I closed my eyes and felt the pulse inside of me.
“Em?”
I stood and back stepped tugging his hand till he moved with me. His eyes locked on mine. I moved past the light switch, flipping it down then walked backward till my calves made contact with the mattress. I sat, scooted back and pulled him onto me. He rested his weight on his forearms above me and stared into my eyes.
“I don’t want to know,” I whispered.
His fingers swept over my cheek. “But you said…”
“I know what I said,” I interrupted. “I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want to know.”
“Emma. It’s not that easy…Grant. He’s going to tell you.” His words were certain.
I shook my head. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll make him see.” I wasn’t as certain as he was. But I was hopeful. “Tell me something though.”
“Anything.”
“Is it something illegal?”
“No,” He answered quickly.
“Have you been loyal to me?”
A growl came from his throat. “One hundred percent.”
I inhaled and let out a long breath and sigh of relief. “Then, I don’t care.”
“Seriously?”
“I mean I care…but not enough to ruin this. We have five months before I leave for Cannon and you leave for God knows where. Tell me then.”
He lowered his body to meet mine again. Our lips searched for each other in the dark and his kiss was sweeter than ever. But I again retreated pushing him away.
“Two last things. First, Saturday…can you drive me somewhere? And, second, I don’t want your folks to catch us up here. Can we please go back downstairs?”
“Yip.” He heaved me up and off the bed with a grunt then sat for a second positioning me between his legs. “I’m good for Saturday. What’s the plan?”
“I’m not telling.”
His hands cupped my jaw and he grinned. “I love you.”
I bit my bottom lip. “And I love you.” We headed downstairs.
THIRTY-EIGHT
Friday, my mom had scheduled an appointment for me with her Gynecologist. I’m not sure why they call it a Guy-necologist when they treat girls…women. I had thought about it all week and even researched on the Internet what HE was going to do to an area I could barely look at. I shaved my legs and painted my toenails. Not that I was trying to impress a doctor I didn’t know, but I wanted to look like I should be old enough to have this done.
My mom picked me up from school around 2:15 for my 2:30 appointment. I told Zach I had an orthodontist appointment and I did have one coming up just not today. I hated lying to him but couldn’t muster up the courage to confide what I was really doing.
I checked myself in at the doctor’s office. My mom was already reading a magazine, I think it was House Beautiful or something and she didn’t meet my glance. I was certain this was difficult for her as well…bringing her fifteen-year-old baby girl to the gyno for some birth control…a mother’s dream. I appreciated that she wasn’t mean about it or constantly preaching abstinence—I knew she and dad would rather I wait for that special someone with whom I would marry…but to me…that was Zach.
“Emma?” The nurse startled me.
“Yes.” I stood with my purse.
“Do you want me to come?” My mother asked.
“No. I’m OK.” And I followed the nurse.
After she got my height and weight, I had to provide a urine sample and a finger prick to check if I was iron deficient. Then she escorted me to a room where she took my temperature, blood pressure and asked me a series of questions including my sexual activity, which I could report, was at zero. Though by the skeptical look on her face, I think she questioned my honesty.
She finally left me alone with a blue dotted gown to put on after I’d gotten completely naked. I sat and waited.
At 3:10, my phone vibrated and Zach texted me to see if I was done. I texted back a quick no and that I’d call him when I was. The door opened.
“Good afternoon, Emma. I’m Dr. Erickson. It’s nice to meet you.” He shook my hand.
“Hi. Nice to meet you too.”
He sat on his little round doctor’s stool. “So. You are interested in starting to take birth control. Is that right?”
Wow. Let’s get straight to the point. “I’m not having sex,” I quickly clarified. “I have a boyfriend and we’ve talked about it but we haven’t.”
“OK. Has your boyfriend had other partners?”
“Yes.” I think I blushed.
“Alright. Do you know if he practiced safe sex? And the reason I’m asking is birth control prevents pregnancy but not disease.”
Disease. Nice word choice. “No. I don’t know for sure but I think.”
“Let’s start with you. How long ago did you start your menstrual cycle?”
Some of my friends started in the seventh grade and I seemed to be a slow poke with February of my eighth grade year. I wasn’t sure what the norm was…but was certain as with everything else…I wasn’t in it. “When I was in eighth grade.” My words were soft.
“Are you periods regular?”
I shrugged. “I guess. I mark it on a calendar and it’s once a month.”
“And what about your flow. Would you call it heavy, moderate or light?”
This had to tie for the most embarrassing inquisition of my life. “Light.”
“About how many days does it last?” He was taking notes.
I sighed. “Three or four.”
He nodded and laid his pen on the chart and I hoped we were done. He opened a drawer and pulled out a metal odd shaped contraption. “We have two different types of exams we perform. One is a simple exam and the other is a more extensive exam. With the second one, this…” He held up the piece of metal. “Is inserted inside the vagina and opened.” He popped it opened and I think my eyes popped out as well. I consciously crossed my legs. “This allows us to view the cervix which leads into the uterus. Since you are not sexually active at this point, we will not do that today, but we will in the future.” I breathed a quiet sigh of relief and wondered if my father had paid him to have this conversation with props. “If you’ll lie back, I’m going to do a basic exam. I’m sure this is a tad uncomfortable but we’ll make it quick.”
I didn’t move. “Uncomfortable how?” I’m sure he heard the stress in my voice.
He smiled. Why couldn’t he have been sixty-five and ugly? I think my mom picked the hottest doctor in town though he was bald. “Not painful. Uncomfortable—awkward. All I’m going to do is use a finger and then also apply pressure outside on your abdomen. It won’t take but five seconds.”
I swallowed. Great. The first thing inside of me was going to be Dr. Erickson’s finger. Ugh! I reluctantly laid back and he placed my heel on top of something cold. My legs spread wider than I wished and I closed my eyes.
Saturday morning Zach was at my house by 9:00 just as I’d requested. I checked the computer to make sure the road I wanted to take wasn’t closed due to weather. The day was a go. I’d told my mom and dad my plans the night before and Dad showed his approval by printing me off a map of the trip up and back, telling me the places to stop if we needed. Weather was unpredictable so I packed some essentials.
Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys) Page 22