Old Enough to Love... (Just One of the Guys)

by Pelton, Kristi

  “NO! You are not drinking and driving.” I jabbed my finger in his face.

  He nodded. “All right.”

  I liked the idea of a drink for myself. Maybe getting drunk was just the thing to make this go faster.

  About a mile out of Eugene, I was growing more and more anxious. “When do I get to be in on the secret?”

  “Open it,” Grant said nodding toward his wallet lying in the console.

  I picked it up and followed his instructions. Money and white stubs. “What is it?”

  “Pull out the white things.”

  I did and laid the wallet down so I could examine them. They were some sort of tickets. Kid Rock was written across the top. My mouth opened, but I couldn’t respond. My heart sped. I flipped through them again reading today’s date. “Are you kidding? Are these for real?” I managed to get out.

  Grant nodded and his eyes sparkled with excitement, obviously proud of his choice.

  “When did you get them?”

  “You’ll laugh. About three weeks ago…I won ‘em off the radio. Totally lucky. But I knew when I was dialing who I wanted to take but worried I couldn’t get your ass to go,” he chided.

  “So you resorted to blackmail?” I was too excited to be angry with him but jabbed him with the words.

  His eyes held an apology. “I saw an opportunity and I took it. I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

  I looked out the windshield and smiled. Grant smiled too. He knew I wouldn’t be mad at him for long. My phone buzzed in my back pocket. I knew Grant’s deal included no contact with Zach today, so I ignored it for the time being. Kid Rock. WOW.

  After grabbing a bite, we headed to the concert hitting traffic on the way. The truck was quiet. It was hard not to feel relaxed with Grant. We’d grown up together. He was as much my brother as Ryan it seemed. And as angry and frustrated as I was with him, I was having a great time. That was the problem…I always had a great time with him…though my phone seemed to weigh down my pocket with every vibration.

  “OK. We have about an hour and a half before the concert starts. We’ll head that way in about forty-five minutes,” Grant said, parking the truck and leaving on the stereo.

  I heard the twist of a drink and rotated around to see Ryan handing Ali some sort of drink.

  “What is that?” I asked.

  “It’s like a lemonade. You want one?” Ryan asked.

  “Three months ago you won’t let me touch a beer with Austin, and now you’re handing it to me. What’s up with that?” I criticized but extended my hand for the cold drink.

  “A couple of reasons,” my brother tried to explain. “One, Mom and Dad will be sound asleep when we get home. Two, I trust us. We’re not going to let anything happen to you.” He twisted my lid and handed it to me.

  I swallowed the liquid and was surprised…it was pretty good. We sat and talked and laughed for forty-five minutes talking about good times and bad. I noticed two things. First, Grant seemed to nurse the same bottle of beer for forty-five minutes without finishing it, and the by the time my third bottle was empty, the whole situation was funny to me. Everything was funny…I was sitting with Grant Meiers at a Kid Rock concert, Ryan, my brother, was dating my fifteen year old best friend…Zach had just gotten out of jail and was sitting at home…and this summer….everybody was leaving everybody. Funny. So funny, I figured my fourth bottle would help me forget even that. Maybe Grant would tell me that secret after all.

  Once we got into the concert, Ali and I went to the restroom. The guys waited outside. Inside a stall, I secured the door and pulled out my phone. Two texts.

  I’m out. Thinkin about U. Hope you have a shitty time

  U OK?

  I texted back a quick response.

  Miss you too. Kid Rocks her send

  I used the restroom. It buzzed again before I was through.

  Kid Rocks her? Here? Did he take u 2 a kid rock concert?

  Yes sir! send

  R u drinking?

  I laughed hysterically in my stall.

  “Em? You OK?” Ali shouted.

  “Sure. I’ll be out in a minute.”

  “I’m goin on out with Ryan.” Her words sounded funny to me.

  I’m keeping well hydrated. No worries. Send

  Em. I am asking nicely please stop drinking. Call me.

  Can’t call. Deals a deal. Its just a lemonade. send

  I shoved the phone in my back pocket, opened the stall and washed my hands. I spotted Ali standing against the cement wall like she was sneaking up on someone. Her eyes were big and got bigger when she saw me. She pointed to the wall.

  “Some girls are talking to them,” she whispered angrily.

  “To who?” I was suddenly confused and obviously said it too loud because she shoved her finger to her lips trying to shush me. I listened.

  “Well, if the girls you’re waiting on don’t come back, come find us,” A girl giggled.

  “What’s your name…just in case?” Ryan inquired.

  “I’m Lexie and she’s Abby and you are…”

  Ali and I rounded the corner at that moment and the black-headed girl who was talking had her finger under Grant’s chin. “He’s staken,” I said, glaring at the girl.

  “Staken? That’s your name?” the girl with a lip ring asked.

  Grant smiled at me and I grabbed his hand and jerked him away. “Staken?” he asked laughing.

  “I meant taken and it didn’t come out right. Shut up.” I led him through a crowd of people with no idea where I was going.

  I glanced back and Ali and Ryan were far behind and seemed to be fighting. Her arms were folded across her chest and his were shoved in his pocket. Grant led me to our seats three rows from the stage, packed in like sardines.

  “So…I’m taken?” he asked with a grin.

  “For tonight. Don’t read that.”

  He scrunched his brows at me. “Don’t read what?”

  I rubbed my face as if that would make the words come out better then tried again. “Don’t read into that. It was terr-i-torial.” Was that a word? I laughed.

  His face responded as if he’d gotten it. “Ah. You were marking your territory? Like a pit bull.”

  “Somethin like that. More like a golden retriever.” I smiled.

  “Glad you didn’t pee on me,” he said and we both laughed.

  BOOM. BOOM. BOOM. A drum started beating loudly and the lights went down. I felt Grant slide his hand into mine. Why did I feel like I owed him at least that? I tried to untangle my fingers and he gripped tighter. His hands were smaller than Zach’s. My heart raced as I kept my eyes on the black stage. The roar of the crowd grew with anticipation and I couldn’t help but smile. I knew any minute Kid would be on stage and I was shaking with excitement. Suddenly, an explosion of sparks rocked the arena and lit the stage, Kid Rock appeared holding his mic and broke into song. I let out a scream.

  When the concert was over, my throat hurt and we all headed back to the car. The crowd dispersed pretty calmly. Ali and Ryan were still on the outs.

  “That was AWESOME!” I shouted lifting my hands to the sky, my ears still ringing from the sound.

  “What?” Grant yelled back laughing.

  “Hey man,” Ryan broke in. “Could you give us just a minute before you two get in?”

  Grant nodded and handed him the keys. “Sure. What’s up?”

  “She’s pissed about the damn girls earlier. Never mind that I’m here with her.” Ryan rolled his eyes.

  “I’m cold. Don’t be long,” I glared at my brother as Grant and I walked toward campus.

  “So…Where’s Mr. California going to school?”

  I shrugged and ignored his remark. “I don’t know. California or maybe Kansas.”

  He nodded. “So what is the plan? You date until summer then it’s over?”

  I shrugged again. “I don’t know. We’ve never gotten that far.” He and I walked for a bit without talking. The streets were b
usy with college kids darting in and out of places.

  “I’m sorry,” he said looking straight ahead. “For making you come tonight. That was… desperate…and pathetic…and disrespectful…the list could go on.”

  My head was kind of spinning. “It’s OK. I had fun.”

  “Forgive me?” His head cocked sideways as he watched my reaction.

  I stopped walking and stared at him. “I could never be mad at you.” I picked up his plaster cast and read all the signatures…mostly girls. I rolled my eyes at some of the comments.

  “I am done. I promise.” He held up two fingers like he was a Boy Scout.

  “We’re you ever a Boy Scout?” I asked skeptically.

  He pursed his lips. “No. But…I’ll leave you alone unless you tell me not to.”

  Why did this have to happen? I stared at him my heart aching for the feelings I used to feel. He was my world and everything in it less than a year ago. My eyes searched his for the answer, but it was evident he didn’t know how or why it happened this way. With his right hand, he reached toward me and laid his palm against my cheek. His hand was warm. Then his hand slid off my cheek to wrapping firmly around my neck till he pulled me to him.

  My heart accelerated as I watched him moisten his lips. I did the same thing and we touched. Our lips were together and Zach’s face flashed before my eyes. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Grant’s mouth was always so warm and his lips not as firm. My hands tangled in his hair as I pulled him closer for a second…knowing this was it…acting on past feelings…telling him goodbye. I didn’t know why I responded the way I did. But fear consumed me when my body began to respond. Blood rushed through my veins as he kissed me soft and long and my head still spun from before. He pulled my body into his and it felt weird to be this close and I shoved my arms between us and broke the bond. He retreated immediately and wiped his bottom lip.

  “I’m sorry,” he apologized, shoving his good hand in his pocket.

  “I’m cold. Let’s head back.” I started walking.

  He grabbed me from behind, and I was scared my resistance was running low. “This way,” he guided, spinning me to go in the opposite direction. I followed him in silence.

  “Emma. Don’t just blow me off like that. Tell me you didn’t feel something back there.”

  I tried not to look at him. “It doesn’t matter what I felt. You stay loyal to who you’re with.”

  He shot me an exasperated look. “Not at fifteen you don’t. You date and you find out what fits and what doesn’t. You two aren’t married. This is the time to date.”

  He was right. But Zach was my fit and I didn’t want anyone else. “Why are you doing this to me? I’ve wanted you forever. Why do you wait till I find someone to tell me your feelings?”

  He turned around and started walking away. “Come on.”

  “No! Answer me,” I demanded, resting my hands on my hips. “Why didn’t you do it before I fell in love with Zach?” His back was to me so I couldn’t see his eyes. He pushed his hair out of his face and turned around. His eyes were serious.

  “Why?” I asked softly.

  He moved toward me with his slow swagger that I’d grown to love. “I didn’t tell you…because your brother…would have removed my lungs with a spoon. He’s my best friend.” He sighed. “How do you tell your best friend that you’re in love with his sister, when you know he’s not OK with that?”

  I’m not sure what my expression held but he moved closer. “When I saw how easily he accepted Zach into your life…I was reeling with jealousy. I couldn’t wait to see if what you two had was going to work or not…I had to get in there and fight.” He leaned into my face, his cheek touched mine. “I knew you loved me once,” he whispered. “I hoped…” His words tapered off and his lips brushed across my cheek. I closed my eyes feeling his breath against my cheek. Then unexpectedly, his lips pressed against mine softly.

  “Grant,” I whimpered and my lips found his. His moan made my body react in a way I knew wasn’t good. His tongue was warm and full and it mingled with mine for a moment before he closed his mouth and pecked my lips twice. I opened my eyes and he was looking at me. His blue eyes were beautiful, even in the dark. He stroked my lip with his thumb.

  “I’m sorry. In one sentence I say, I’m done. In the next, I’m kissing you.”

  I shook my head. “Grant…I.”

  He covered my mouth. “I know you love him. My lips are sealed. This never happened.” He took my hand and we walked silently back to the truck.

  The truck was warm and it wasn’t clear by the looks on their faces if they’d made up or not. Ali’s eyes were red and I figured she’d been crying. I’d have to get the scoop later from one of them. Ryan was at least holding her hand.

  The clock on the dash read 11:30 and we had a two-hour drive ahead of us. No sleep Friday night and another late night…I would never make it home.

  I was too tired to move though the cold air startled my body. My eyelids felt thick and too heavy to open.

  “Ryan, get the front door and I’ve got her.” I heard Grant’s voice.

  “All right.”

  Grant must have heaved me into his arms and my knees dangled over his elbow.

  “Where are we?” I murmured and didn’t really care. Exhaustion had seized my body and I had nothing left to fight. I heard the truck door shut then another door slam.

  “What the hell is wrong with her?” Was that Zach? His voice seemed so far away.

  “Oh, God. I should have known. Nothing is wrong with her, you douche bag. She’s tired. You tell me what’s wrong. She said she didn’t sleep at all last night. What’d you do to her?”

  “Give her to me.” It was Zach’s voice and he was angry.

  “Back off. I’ve got her and I’m carrying her to bed,” Grant tried to whisper.

  I could swear I heard Zach growl. This had to be a nightmare. “Grant, I swear to God. Give her to me or I will break you.”

  “Stop,” I mustered enough energy to say. “Stop fighting.” And I was questioning if I was dreaming. Zach was here and that was all that mattered. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck.

  “Look. She’s yours. OK? Just let me get her inside.”

  The warmth of the house was welcoming to my body and I could tell we were going up the stairs.

  “Mom and Dad are asleep,” Ryan said behind us. “Please keep it down.”

  When my body touched the sheets, I melted into the comfort of my bed. He unclasped my hands from behind his neck. “Don’t leave,” I whispered.

  “That must make you feel good.” Zach’s tone was ugly. Why was he upset?

  “Not really. The words were meant for you.” I heard Grant say.

  “Grant?” I questioned.

  “Yes?” He whispered.

  “Thank you.”

  “Anytime sleepyhead.”

  “Do I still kiss like a fish?” I moaned and curled up on my side. He didn’t answer. “I do, don’t I?”

  Still quiet. Then finally, “No.”

  “I’ve got her from here.” Zach’s voice barely audible. “Zach. Is that really you?” I was more alert questioning my sanity.

  “It’s me.”

  I forced my eyes open and he was blurry and it was dark. “Really?”

  “Really, Em. Go back to sleep.” He brushed his hand down my face.

  I tried to resist. “No. I want to know about your…thing…your sleepover thing.” I was confused. I wasn’t sure who was in my room and who wasn’t and didn’t know how to word it.

  “We’ll talk about it later. I unbuttoned your jeans. You’re covered up…now pull ‘em off.”

  I did as he asked and threw them on the floor.

  “Here’s my shorts you like. Slide ‘em on.”

  They slid up easily. “It was weird. I thought I was dreaming.” I laughed. “Why are you here?”

  He grinned sheepishly. “I don’t know. Just making sure you got home OK.”

 
“I missed you.”

  “I missed you too.” He kissed my forehead. “Sleep tight. Call me tomorrow, OK?”

  “Stay.”

  He shook his head. “I can’t. You know that.”

  I nodded and pulled the blanket to my chin and before I knew it…I was out.

  FORTY-THREE

  “Emma?” Mom yelled.

  I forced my eyelids open.

  “Emma?

  “What?” I hollered.

  “It’s time to get up, sleepy head.”

  I rubbed my knuckles with my eyes and squinted at the clock. Crap. It was 11:15. I shoved the covers back and stumbled out of bed checking my phone before heading to the shower. Ali had texted three times.

  8:45—Call me!!

  9:30—Please. I need 2 talk

  10:40—Have u talked 2 Ryan???

  Uh-oh! I walked down the hallway. His door was closed, but I heard soft music through the door so I tapped lightly.

  “What?”

  I opened it and peeked in. “You up?”

  “Yup.” He lay on his bed shooting his Nerf ball at the hoop hanging above the bed. I curled up below his feet and looked at him.

  “What happened?”

  He tossed a pillow across his face. “You chicks suck!”

  I kicked him. “Some chicks suck and so do some of you dudes,” I teased. “Are you gonna tell me what happened?”

  He moved the pillow so I could see his face. “I don’t know Em. I can’t make her happy. No matter what I do. If we go to a movie, I looked at another girl. Tonight at the concert, I talked to another girl. She doesn’t get that I like her and it’s a battle I’m tired of fighting.”

  “Did you break up with her?”

  “No. But I told her I was done trying. Then she cried. I apologized for…something. I don’t even know what.” He scowled as the words came out and tossed the ball into the hoop again.

  “Did you all…you know?”

  He shook his head. “No. We did everything but that. And THAT was an issue too. Why, I wouldn’t do it with her.” He rolled his eyes and I laughed. “What’s so funny?”