I Remember (Remembrance Series)

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Melinda was offering to go down to the cemetery and collect the cards from the arrangements so we would know who to send thank you notes too.” Mom explained.

  “I can do it. I need some fresh air.” Before anyone could protest, I had my purse, cell phone and camera and was already out the door.

  I was surprised to find no evidence of a graveside service. Everything had been cleared away. The only reminders were the fresh dirt, the flower arrangements, and a temporary marker.

  I grabbed my camera and took a few pictures of the flowers so I could show mom who sent what arrangements. I started pulling the cards, writing a small description on the back so I could match them up to the pictures.

  The majority of the flowers had been from friends in Clewiston. Others were from our church, neighbors and family members. To my surprise, several of the departments from my clinic had sent flowers, as well as some of the doctors.

  I was down to the last two floral arrangements on display stands, one was in glorious white, with hints of green, with a drawing of angel wings and the words,

  on the card.

  When I touched the card, I felt the familiar presence of my father nearby. I looked up and thought I saw a very handsome man dressed in all white with a white trench coat, standing several graves away, with his golden blonde hair pulled back against his neck. In an instant, he was gone. I shook my head and dismissed the vision as being a product of stress.

  The last arrangement was a beautiful array of peach, pink and yellow roses with green ferns, yellow lilies, and other spring flowers. It smelled heavenly. The card took me by surprise.

  I could not believe his generosity.

  Before leaving, I decided to speak to my father in hopes he could hear me “I miss you, Dad. I wish I could hear your voice one more time. I promise to do my best to look after Mom and to make you proud. I love you, always.”

  Tears began to roll down my checks as I walked away. Then in the quietest whisper I heard, “I will always love you both!”

  Over the next week, our days were busy going through Dad’s paperwork, sending out thank you cards, and trying to catch up on sleep. The whole scene felt surreal, like a dream, and I kept imagining my father would walk through the door at any time.

  The barrage of calls, offering condolences from people unable to attend the services or who just discovered our loss, kept reality in check.

  I often wanted to escape from all of the reminders, but knew I had to be strong for Mom. My anchor was hearing Gregory’s comforting voice every day. He helped me realize that life moves on and I need to move with it in order to survive. We spent hours talking about anything and everything, getting to know one another better. It was in one of those conversations that I finally decided that it was time to meet him and it should be sooner, rather than later.

  I needed to go back to work, but was apprehensive about leaving my mother by herself. I promised I would try to make it home at a decent time that first night back, hoping my task list would not be as bad as I feared. I made her swear to call me if she needed anything.

  To my surprise, between management and administration, most of my duties had been taken care of while I was gone and I was able to continue training with Linda during her last few days, focusing on a couple of special reports the doctors had requested.

  There was no shortage of tasks to keep my mind busy and occupied. When lunch came around, I was hesitant to eat in the break room, wondering if anyone would ask questions about how I was doing or what happened; but my worries were unfounded.

  Everyone went about their business as usual, with the exception of Pamela’s clique. They were extremely friendly, offering to help me with anything I needed. I could sense an ulterior motive with their new found compassion. It did not sit well that it took my father’s death and my compromised emotional state for them to extend a hand in kindness.

  The week continued with a steady amount of work to keep my mind off of my loss. I checked on Mom at various times during the day and would call Gregory after work and before sleeping. He was very patient and understanding as I tried to find balance with my life.

  After a couple of weeks, Mom and I agreed it was time to start packing up my apartment. We both knew it would take several weekends to get everything ready for the movers, so she suggested I spend the weekend there, while one of her cousins came into town to visit with her.

  Alley was ecstatic when I returned. She was having problems and needed someone to talk to. I told her I would be happy to lend an ear in return for some help with packing.

  I changed into some old clothes before I gathered up several things I wanted to take to Mom’s and put them in the living room. Alley and I each grabbed boxes and started packing as we talked.

  The conversation started off cheerfully, how Alley’s life had been near perfect the past couple of weeks, until the merger, at her workplace, was announced and then her boyfriend, Tony, had stopped returning her calls.

  I told her, “Don’t worry about the merger. Your employee record speaks for itself. You’ve had nothing but rave reviews on your evaluations and the customers love you. Someone always starts rumors about people being let go when these things happen, and it is usually to weed out those who are not serious about staying. I wouldn’t worry about anything until you need to.

  “As for Tony, he needs to be the one calling you. If he doesn’t, then you need to move on. There is someone else better out there waiting for you!”

  Alley and I continued talking until I reached the point of exhaustion and decided I could tackle the rest in the morning.

  “Are you headed home, tomorrow?”

  “I’m not sure. Mom has company visiting, so I could easily stay through Sunday. I guess it all depends on how much I get done tomorrow and how she is feeling. Why?”

  “No plans to speak of, just wanted more time to talk. I enjoy having you back.”

  “Alley, you do know we can still talk and be friends after I move, right?”

  “I know, but I’ll miss you.”

  “I’ll miss you, too. Goodnight.”

  I walked into my bedroom and pulled out the pair of gray sleep shorts and matching t-shirt I had brought with me. My body and eyes were tired, but my mind was still overly active.

  I decided to give Gregory a call before passing out. It was late and I hoped I wouldn’t wake him, but needed to hear his voice.

  “Jordan! Thank goodness you are okay.” His voice was on edge.

  “Sorry I’m calling so late. Why wouldn’t I be okay?”

  “I was about to call you because I was worried and felt something might be wrong.”

  I wondered why he was always so overprotective of me but dismissed it as him having a rough week; besides, I appreciated his concern.

  “My roommate had a lot to talk about; and in the process, we managed to get quite a bit packed. I think I only need one other weekend before getting the movers lined up to put my furniture in storage,” I said proudly.

  “That’s wonderful news. Since you are moving soon, would it be ok to ask where you live?” Gregory asked politely.

  “I guess so. I live on the outskirts of Oviedo and Winter Springs, in an apartment complex close to the Expressway. Why?”

  “I was just curious. You wouldn’t be talking about Terrace Wood Apartments would you?”

  I sucked in a deep breath. “How do you know?”

  “I’m on the other side of the expressway renting a townhome—more toward the Oviedo side.”

  “But, that’s not even a mile away.”

  “How long have you been at your apartment?”

  “The end of June will be a year. Prior to that, I was in an apartment close to the University’s Campus, Cavalry Woods, for two years.”

  “You’re kidding, right?!”

  “What?” I was puzzled by his reaction.

  “We have lived either in the same apartment complex or within close
proximity for the past three years.”

  I was speechless. How could I have lived next to someone so wonderful and never noticed?

  “Jordan?”

  “I am still here. I’m not sure how to respond to that.”

  “What building were you in at Cavalry? I was in building G.”

  “I was in building H, right next door.”

  “Do you ever feel like we are supposed to have met much earlier?” He paused for a moment. “Are you going to be around tomorrow?”

  “Yes, I have had that feeling and no I’m not sure what tomorrow holds. Why?”

  “I think it is time we meet, face to face, if you are up to it.”

  I had wanted to meet many weeks ago, though everything had gone haywire in my life. But, now the pieces were starting to finally fall back together. “I….” I panicked and could not find my words.

  “Jordan, if you are not comfortable with meeting yet, that’s fine; I can wait a while longer.”

  I was finally able to form the words that my heart and mind were trying to convey. “No, you’re right, it’s time we meet.”

  “Would you like to go out for dinner with me tomorrow night? I could pick you up if you’d like.”

  “That would be nice, Gregory. But I would rather just meet you somewhere. I would prefer that for now, just in case we don’t hit it off.”

  “As you know, I already like you as a friend, Jordan, and I am hoping for the possibility of more. I always love talking with you—the way your mind looks at things. You have my word, as a gentleman, that I will return you to your apartment, safely.”

  My inner voice chimed in. You can trust him. I finally relented. “Fine, you can pick me up.”

  He breathed a big sigh of relief. “What food are you in the mood for?”

  “I haven’t eaten at a restaurant in several weeks. The last great food I had was what you had sent up. So anything is fine with me.”

  “I know this great restaurant, the Sharonwood Bistro, in Winter Springs. It has a good variety of food and is a perfect place to get to know one another.”

  “That sounds nice. What time were you thinking and what should I wear?”

  “The restaurant requires traditional dinner dress, men must wear jackets. Would 7:30 be too late for dinner?”

  “It’s actually perfect; I usually eat dinner around that time. I think I may even have a dress or two still in my closet.”

  “I should let you get some rest since it is past midnight. I can’t wait to see you, Jordan. I will give you a call in the morning and we can finalize where I need to pick you up.”

  I glanced over at the clock in disbelief. “How do we always find so much to talk about?”

  “It’s because we share so much in common. It makes talking easy. I will sleep wonderfully tonight, knowing I will finally get to meet you, tomorrow. Sleep well and dream of me, as I will of you.”

  I could feel the blush spread across my cheeks. “You know I will, Gregory. Bye for now.”

  “Bye.”

  My heart felt elated at the idea of finally meeting Gregory. I decided to get some sleep and call Mom in the morning to tell her the news.

  I found myself dreaming of Gregory holding me in his arms as we sat on a park bench looking out over a lake at sunset. As I rested in Gregory’s arms, I saw our clothes begin shifting into those in my Victorian dream—before they turn into nightmares. I soon realized I was Angeline, held tightly in Daniel’s firm arms. These were my most comforting dreams lately, though I couldn’t understand why I was dreaming about the past and the same place over and over, when I had never even been there.

  I awoke to a brightly lit room, realizing I must have slept through most of the morning. The clock said 11:00 AM. I reached for my cell phone to give Mom a call and noticed that I had two missed calls-- one from Mom and one from Gregory.

  I quickly dialed her number and by the second ring she answered, “Jordan?”

  “Sorry I missed your call. I stayed up late packing and talking with Gregory on the phone and overslept this morning. I am just now getting up. How are you and Cousin Beth doing?”

  “We spent most of yesterday catching up on what has been going on in our lives. Today we are talking about our relatives and trying to fill each other in with the goings on of everyone.”

  “How much packing did you get done? Are you coming home today or tomorrow?”

  “Since you’re enjoying Beth’s visit, I was wondering if you would mind if I stay another day to get some more packing done, plus Gregory asked me out.”

  “Are you ready to meet him?”

  “I think I am. I found out for the past three years, we have either lived in the same apartment complex or within less than a mile from each other.”

  “What a small world. You two definitely do have a lot in common. Is Gregory picking you up?” I could sense some alarm in her voice.

  “Something tells me I can trust him, Mom, so he will be picking me up around 7:30 tonight to go to a bistro in Winter Springs.”

  “Be sure to take some cash for a cab or have Alley ready to pick you up if things don’t go as planned.” Mom insisted.

  “No need to panic mom. We only agreed to meet as friends and see if anything is there.”

  “Okay. You never did say how your packing went?”

  “I got much further than I had anticipated. Alley was a big help; plus I will be doing some more today. I think I might be able to hire movers, for the big items, in the next couple of weeks.”

  “I need to get off now; Beth wants to go get some lunch at a restaurant she saw downtown, yesterday.”

  “Okay, Mom. You two have fun and give her a hug for me.”

  “Please, be sure to call me when you get back home.”

  “I was already planning on it. Be safe, love you.”

  “Same here, Sweetie; love you, too.”

  I went into the kitchen to find Alley already dressed for work and fixing a sandwich to take with her.

  “Thanks for the help last night.

  “You must have been tired. I cannot believe you slept this late.”

  “Well, I have a confession. After you went to bed, I called Gregory and we talked for a couple of hours.”

  “Did you decide whether you are going home, today?”

  “He helped me make my mind up last night. I am going to stay until tomorrow afternoon.”

  A huge smile crept across her face. “You are finally going out with him, aren’t you?”

  “Yes. I gave in when I found out he lives right down the road from us.”

  Her eyes lit up with excitement. “Where are you going tonight?”

  I gave her the details. “I hope you have a fabulous time and hit it off. I want you to spill everything when you get back tonight. Have fun!” And she was out the door.

  After a quick breakfast, I surveyed what was left to pack. I had already packed most of the things I needed to take back, but there was still quite a bit left to do.

  I decided to look in my closet to see what I could wear tonight, given my limited wardrobe. Thankfully, I had a few dresses left. However, my shoes would be an issue, since most of them were in Deland.

  I decided on a burgundy dress. It was lightweight with the hem hitting just below the knee, a sweetheart neckline, zipper back and a sash that tied around the waist. It was simple, yet flattering. With some costume jewelry and a pair of black heels, it would be stunning.

  Now that I had my outfit ready for tonight, I returned to the kitchen to start packing some of my pots, pans and cooking utensils. I had just started getting into a good rhythm when the cell phone rang.

  “Hi, Gregory,” I answered in a frustrated tone.

  “Is something wrong, you don’t sound like yourself?”

  “I’m not getting much done today, thanks to oversleeping.”

  “I’m sorry, we can postpone tonight if you need to.” His voice was so gentle.

  “No. We can still meet. I am just not movi
ng as fast as I would like.”

  “Well, you know I only live down the road. I could easily come and help you pack.”

  I had to laugh, “You are always looking for an excuse to meet me, aren’t you?”

  “I’m guilty as charged. I cannot wait for tonight. I have already been through my closet. I decided on a pair of black, casual dress pants but was wondering what color you are wearing, so I can wear a tie to match.”

  “Wow, you would do that for me?”

  “Even though we haven’t met yet, I hope you realize that I would do anything for you.” His voice was so sincere and so seductive.

  “I will be in a burgundy dress, though I'm not sure whether I will wear my hair up or down.”

  “I loved how your hair looked in the picture you sent,” he admitted.

  “Then it’s settled, I will wear my hair down. That was one of my dad’s favorite hair styles, too.”

  I quickly gave Gregory my address and building number.

  “I should probably let you go. We have all evening to talk,” he said reluctantly.

  “Yes, we do.”

  “See you soon, Jordan.”

  “See you tonight.” I teased.

  I was feeling a little panicked about tonight. I rationalized that we were just friends going out to talk, but my heart already told me I wanted more. I wanted my dreams.

  I heard an ominous voice scream in my mind, “Stay away from him!” It was quickly countered with sincere declaration, “He is your destiny. Believe and all your dreams will come true.”

  I shook it off, believing it to be nerves and started to work on my makeup, keeping it somewhat natural looking with only a hint of color.

  Mom always commented how my eyes were my best feature, always sparkling, looking like windows to my soul. Normally, I only wore makeup for work and special occasions. I was thankful I had enough foresight to bring it with me.

  I let my hair dry naturally, allowing it to slightly curl, turning on the hair dryer only for a moment, to provide some extra fullness and bounce.