I Remember (Remembrance Series)

by Cynthia P. O'Neill

  “If you want a job done right, you have to do it yourself,” the dark cloak figured announced.

  I tried to move from my spot to get a glimpse of the cloaked person, but found myself unable to move.

  Suddenly the figure turned, snapping her fingers, which woke Angeline and Daniel with a start. They struggled against some unforeseen force, holding them down, yelling out for someone to help them.

  “Scream all you want. No one will ever hear your cries for help. In mere minutes this train will crash over the bridge heading out of town. I have my demon spirits working to destroy the rails, as we speak.”

  Her face was cast in shadows, but the glint of an amulet around her neck, caught my eye. It looked old and magical and began to glow as the shape shifted to a new form, one of the little boy delivering a note.

  Both Angeline and Daniel looked in horror as they saw the cloaked figure continue to change into various forms.

  “You demonic witch,” Daniel screamed, “leave the innocent people on this train alone and deal only with us. Obviously we are your targets.”

  The figure was now in its true form, with long willowy fingers, wrinkled old skin, and an eerie voice. “Nothing would give me more pleasure than to kill the two of you. Sadly, if I take your lives by my own hands, my powers will be subdued, maybe even nullified. I cannot take that chance. I need this to look like an accident and for your demise to be at the hands of my dark spirits. They can rot in hell for all I care.”

  Daniel continued to talk with the witch, attempting to bargain for her to take his life and spare that of Angeline.

  Angeline made the same argument to spare him.

  “True love, one’s willingness to give up one’s life to save the one they adore,” the witch said sweetly. “It repulses me!” Her tone became venomous.

  The witch cackled, “Long live your deaths!” Before disappearing in a cloud of dark smoke.

  Gregory and I held tight to one another, watching our counterparts struggle to free themselves and bracing for the train to crash.

  The train whistle blew and the wheels began to lock and suddenly we were on the banks of the shore, some distance away, watching the events of the crash take place. Train cars began sliding off the tracks along the edge of the river, while others dangled atop of the bridge, threatening to go over at any moment.

  We watched as two people fell into the river from the car we had just been in. Daniel and Angeline stayed below the waterline for what seemed like an eternity before they bobbed up to the surface.

  “Angeline, use your legs to kick hard. Keep your head above water,” Daniel yelled in a panicked voice.

  I watched helplessly as Daniel, his arms bound in front of him and his bound legs were kicking hard to reach Angeline. Both looked exhausted from their struggle with the water.

  Angeline started to go under but Daniel finally reached her, lifting her bound arms with his. “Stay with me, Angeline. We need to put all of our energy into reaching the shore.”

  “I’m too tired, Daniel. I cannot fight anymore.” Her voice was weak and her eyes were barely open, exhausted from trying to stay afloat.

  “I cannot and will not live without you, my love,” he shouted.

  She looked deeply into his eyes and cried out, “I love you too much to let both of us perish. Please, go on without me and know that no one will ever love you as much as I do.”

  His voice screamed, “No! I would rather save your life and give up my own, than to live a day without you. I love you to no end.”

  Gregory and I held tight to one another as we watched them, slowly losing their battle.

  The witch’s cackle and the cheers of her demon spirits could be heard emanating from the other side of the shore.

  Their cries suddenly died as two brilliant white lights surrounded Angeline and Daniel and lifted them out of the water. Their bodies were almost limp, but their hands both reached out to touch the other. When their fingers connected, they took on spirited forms and transcended toward the skies, disappearing into the heavens.

  The air and leaves began to swirl around us and in a flash; we were back at the tree, with a white feather at our feet and a note from Ray.

  Gregory and I walked back to the car, clinging to one another. I felt numb, as we continued our journey to the airport.

  I remember hugging Anderson and thanking him for his driving and the guidance he had given us. I even remember getting onto the jet and Gregory offering me something to eat, which I declined. However, everything after that was a blur.

  I know he tried to talk to me, but I had emotionally checked out as I tried to comprehend everything that had happened up to this point.

  Our destiny was doomed to a fate of death, only to be saved for another time and place, in the final moments. I knew there was a chance that we could potentially beat our fate, but was I willing to take that risk and gamble my life on a possibility? Do I want to leave my mother without anyone to look after her? Could the love that Gregory and I share be enough to finally break this cycle?

  Halfway through the flight, I managed to lean into his shoulder and fall asleep, crying, as he attempted to soothe my fears.

  “It will be alright, Sweetheart. It does not mean our fate will be the same.” Obviously, he was having the same doubts as I.

  He shook my shoulders gently as we prepared for landing in Daytona Beach. Before climbing into his car, he pulled me close, lifting my chin with his hand and tried to kiss me. Sadly, my heart was not in it and I pulled away. I ached for him, and the hurt on his face was evident, but I continued to question the various paths our lives could potentially take.

  I finally spoke during the drive back. “What if we had never met? Could our lives be different if our paths had never crossed?”

  “Don’t do this, Jordan.” His voice was pained.

  “Think about it, Gregory. If we severed our ties to one another, maybe our days would return to normal and we could have the chance to actually live-- without fear of a predetermined death.” I argued.

  “You don’t know that,” he complained. “Just because Daniel and Angeline’s fate ended does not mean ours will end, too. You’re overwrought with emotion and need time to think. Don’t do this to us, to me. I need you.”

  I was relentless with my idea, until he finally allowed me a trial separation to prove whether my theory was correct and that the spirits would leave us alone.

  We arrived at Mom’s house a short time later. Gregory walked me to the door, carrying my suitcase in one hand and putting his other arm around my waist. “Are you sure about this?” His voice was full of questioning and defeat.

  “Truthfully, I don’t know. I love you more than anything; but if we go our separate ways and life returns back to normal, then maybe we can save ourselves from a painful fate,” I said, solemnly.

  “We can’t know whether this will work or not.”

  “That’s why we have to try. Please stay away from me. Don’t call, don’t encroach on my dreams, just let me have two or three weeks to myself, as a test—to see if my theory works.” I begged, knowing I didn’t want this. But, if it saved his life, my life and rescued our parents from a world of loss, it would be worth it. I loved him enough to try.

  “Here’s your phone and ring back.” I handed him the items.

  He dropped the luggage on the ground and yelled out, “No! The only way I will agree to this ‘test’ is if you keep the phone, because you need it. If we separate permanently, I can have the number switched over to your name and an account created for you.

  “Plus, you have to keep the ring. Wear the ring for now, no one has to know that we are ‘taking a break’ from each other. But, I will only take it back if you can tell me, with absolute certainty, there is no hope for us and we are better off apart. Until you can do that, I refuse to accept the ring back!” Gregory was extremely insistent on the last part.

  “Please don’t do this,” he begged.

  “I can’t hav
e my life end with the same fate as Angeline’s. I won’t do that to my mother, she has already lost so much.” I was almost in tears.

  “I love you more than life, Jordan. I’ll do this, but only if you promise to accept my terms? I hope you understand the kind of pain you will be putting me through. I promise not to touch your dreams, but I will continue to dream of you.” His face looked defeated.

  “Fine, I will agree to your terms. I will tell Mom that we are taking some time to ourselves to think things through.”

  He took my face in his hands and stared into my eyes. “I don’t want to accept this; but since we have come to a compromise, I’ll do it for you, only because I love you! However, should you see any chaos come back into your life before the time is up, call me immediately; the experiment is over at that point.”

  I felt my heart breaking as he still held my face. “Agreed. I will give you a call, soon.”

  He leaned toward me. I thought to kiss my lips one last time, only to feel a peck against my cheek. He released my face and glanced away. “Promise to stay safe?”

  “I promise. Will you do the same?”

  “Yes. I can’t stand this. I need to go.” Gregory’s face looked tortured as he turned and walked away.

  “Bye.”

  He would not respond back. He got into his car and drove off, taking my heart with him.

  I could feel the tears pour down my face. I tried to pull it together, knowing I would have to give mom an explanation as to why we needed time apart.

  My mom was at the door in no time. I tried not to look up so she wouldn’t see the tears, but her arms were already around me. “What’s wrong?”

  “We have decided to take some time off from one another, to reexamine our lives and see if this is where we want to be.” The statement seemed plausible.

  “Did something go wrong on your trip? Why the sudden change of heart?” I knew the questioning had only begun.

  “We had a good time. I got to meet some of Gregory’s cousins and we spent some time sightseeing and checking out some of the local history.

  “I don’t know how to explain why we have taken some time off, other than I got spooked a bit and realized how quickly we have rushed into this. I decided that maybe we should take a break for a few weeks.” I couldn’t tell her the real reason; that I feared for mine and Gregory’s lives.

  “I can see you don’t want to talk about it, just yet. So I won’t pry. When you feel up to it, just let me know.” Mom gave me another hug.

  “Thanks, Mom. I missed you.”

  “I missed you too, Jordan.”

  “Unless you need me for something, I am going to get unpacked and go to bed. I have an early morning meeting and I have several reports to start on at work.” Truthfully, my heart was ripping into a million pieces and I wanted to escape to my bedroom so my mother wouldn’t see me cry.

  “No, I’m fine. You do look tired, so go ahead to bed and I will see you in the morning.”

  “Goodnight, Mom. I love you.”

  “Love you, too. I’m here when you are ready to talk.”

  I unpacked my suitcase, put on my pajamas and grabbed some tissues before going to bed. I knew tonight I would be crying myself to sleep.

  The dreams were nightmares of Daniel and Angeline’s final moments. The witch’s laugh haunted me throughout the night. For the first time, in a long time, I was alone in my mind and restless.

  My days were filled with many new projects and assignments at work. My nights were still filled with nightmares of the past. However, there were some new images of a female in colonial wear, but they never lasted long enough for me to get a name or see who she was. I wondered if spending time in Richmond and being surrounded by so many relics of the Colonial period had triggered my subconscious to use that era to get me past the horrific events I’d experienced there.

  The first week showed my theory was proving to be somewhat correct. I was certain that if we kept away from one another and forced ourselves to take alternate paths, then we would be able to avert a catastrophic demise. The only problem was that my heart still yearned for Gregory and I didn’t know how to turn love off. My only hope was that time would help ease the pain.

  It looked like the second week was going to prove to be much of the same except we had several people out at work and I found myself working from before 7:00 AM and not getting home until about 9:00 PM. I was exhausted every day and the nightmares didn’t stop. I wanted to call Gregory and tell him the chaos continued; that my test had failed. However, my mind told me that it could be mere coincidence and to keep pressing forward.

  About a week into this crazy schedule, I walked in the door about 10 PM. Mom was waiting up to fix me dinner. “Just a smoothie, tonight, Mom,” I told her when she asked what I would like.

  “Jordan, I know you are tired, but we need to talk. Please take a seat in the dining room and I will bring it out to you.”

  I did as Mom asked, sitting down in one of the side dining chairs.

  As soon as she placed the smoothie in front of me, I was quick to grab it and start drinking. I was hungry and it hit the spot.

  Mom grabbed the chair closest to me, where she could look me in the eyes. This was not going to be a regular discussion.

  She patted my hand. “I’m concerned about you, Jordan. Since your ‘break time’ with Gregory, you’ve been crying yourself to sleep at nights, pouring yourself into your work, and when you are not sleeping or working, you’re moping around here looking miserable.

  “I think this has gone on long enough. You’re hiding something from me and I want to know what it is.”

  I continued drinking my smoothie as I tried to gather my thoughts. I could not divulge what I had found out in Virginia, but I couldn’t continue down the path I was headed, either.

  Tears started forming at the corners of my eyes. Mom leaned over and gave me a hug “Take your time, but I need to understand why you are going through all this.”

  “What do you want to know?”

  “Why Gregory and you are taking a ‘time out’?”

  “I told you, Mom. I got spooked and felt we needed some time apart to reexamine our lives.”

  “I don’t buy it Jordan. Look me in the eyes and tell me, do you still have feelings for him?”

  I conceded. “Yes.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Yes, with all my heart.”

  “Then help me to understand why you are pushing him away if you love him this much.”

  I was passed the point of exhaustion and just blurted out, “Because I don’t want to hurt you or him.”

  Puzzled by my response, Mom asked, “How are you going to hurt either of us?”

  I knew I couldn’t fight the truth any more. “Could I speak to you about a hypothetical situation?”

  “Certainly.” She gave my hand a squeeze.

  “Let’s say that you discovered your life was part of a great destiny or fate. You and your intended love found out that you were both created for a higher purpose in life. But, at the same time, you discover you’ve lived before, in the past, where things failed miserably. So, you were given chances, in a future life, with the hope that you would one day succeed.

  “You start to discover why and how things failed and the tragedy of it. You realize that this could be your own fate, again. Wouldn’t you try to alter it by changing the current course, hoping that life would change back and you could protect the ones you love? Even if it makes you miserable in the process?” I finished with a deep sigh of relief that I had, in a roundabout way, told Mom what was going on, minus the details.

  Mom got up and gave me the biggest hug I think I had ever received from her and then sat back down. “Are you concerned about possibly leaving me alone?”

  I broke down in tears. “Yes,” I sobbed.

  She handed me some tissue. “Sweetie, your father and I knew you had some destiny to fulfill when you were born. We never said anything, because we thou
ght we had imagined it and were trying to protect you.”

  I looked up at her, puzzled. “What are you talking about?”

  She leaned back in her chair and began to explain. “On the day you were born, a handsome male nurse, with long, tied back blonde hair and a brilliant glow about him, brought you into our room from the nursery, for your father and me to hold.

  “The moment he stepped into our room it seemed like the world around us slowed down to a crawl. We thought we were just awestruck by how beautiful you were, so we didn’t pay much attention to anything else.

  “As I held and gave you a bottle, your father put his hand on top of the hand that was supporting your legs and commented about how you would grow up to do many wonderful things.

  “The nurse, Ray, placed his hand on top of ours and we felt instant peace and love in the room. He told us to take extra special care of you, as you were part of a greater destiny in life that could save many.”

  My eyes dried up and I was awestruck by my mother’s words. “Your father and I looked at each other and turned to ask Ray what he meant, but there was a burst of bright light and standing in his place was a female nurse named Kate.

  “We asked Kate where Ray had gone. She wondered who we meant and we told her the nurse who had brought you in for us to feed you. She looked at us like we were crazy and had stated that she brought you to us, explaining that male nurses were not allowed to work in the nursery.

  “We were more than a little puzzled and concerned at that point. Then, when you were done with your bottle, I held you close and a large, white feather dropped from your blanket. At that point we knew we had a special visitor.”

  “Why didn’t you ever tell me about this?” My voice was filled with hurt. “I needed to know!”

  “We thought we might have been mistaken and maybe dreamed it, until...” She stopped, knowing I would ask for more information.

  “Until what, Mom?”