Ties That Bind

by Neeny Boucher

  Christina nodded. “Yep. It is, so we can’t get caught, right?” They all nodded grimly, but she was nervous.

  Surprisingly, Gabby’s idea was a good one. The Martins had boxes of fireworks in the garage for the party tomorrow night and Gabby surmised they wouldn’t miss one. Now, they were going to be put to use in another way, one that was criminal.

  This is why the women found themselves sneaking across Apron Park late at night to go the back way to Carl Beaumont and Shane Palmer’s house to exact revenge. They were carrying fireworks, a half-drunk bottle of Vodka Skittles, and some potatoes. All of them, however, were rapidly sobering up and Christina was having second thoughts.

  “Are you sure about this?” Christina asked for the millionth time, hoping her friends would change their minds, but they wouldn’t. Bonnie and Mandy were determined.

  Apron Park was a horrible place at the best of times, but especially at night. It wasn’t really a park, so much as a wasteland with a few swings and a slide. At this time of year it was too cold for most people and only the desperate or bravest souls ventured out.

  They could see Beaumont and Palmer’s house from the main entrance of the Park. It was five houses to the right and gave the women a good view of the street. Ensuring the coast was clear, they made their approach debating and arguing their course of action.

  None of them knew what quantities of fireworks to use or the technicalities of setting them off. The potatoes, however, were a mystery to Christina, but it had something to do with trucks and tail pipes. Bonnie had had a conversation long ago with one of her brothers about the damage potatoes could do to car engines if they were stuck in a tail pipe.

  Before crossing the road, the women huddled together, putting their right hands on top of one another’s and nodding. “On the count of three,” Bonnie hissed. “One, two, three…”

  At three, each woman said something completely different. “Iron vaginas,” Christina whispered.

  “Charlie’s Angels,” Bonnie hissed.

  Mandy confused, combined the two phrases. “Charlie’s vaginas.” They all stared at each other, shrugged, put their hands back, and whispered in unison, “Charlie’s vaginas.”

  Silently, they crossed the road and stuffed the mailbox full of fireworks. They furtively looked around to see if anyone was near, but to their relief, they were alone. “We use all of them,” Bonnie insisted. “This is war. I want to see that thing go BOOM!” Boom it was then.

  They kept piling the fireworks in until the mailbox was stacked full. Christina volunteered to light the explosives, because these were the guys that had hit her years ago and insulted them on Halloween. In truth, Mandy was too scared and they all knew it, but didn’t want to say anything, and Christina was a faster runner than the other two.

  Christina stood back to admire their handiwork. Everything was in there: skyrockets, cherry bombs, flaming balls, and even party poppers. It was definitely going to be a sight. While she waited to strike the match, Mandy and Bonnie stuffed potatoes in the tail pipe of Shane Palmer’s white truck.

  “Are you sure this is going to work?” whispered Mandy.

  Bonnie shrugged. “I think so. It’s supposed to wreck the engine and if it doesn’t, who cares? They’ll have squishy potatoes stuck in their tail pipe.”

  The women giggled. They wouldn’t be there to see the result, but they hoped to hear about it. Bonnie tipped some vodka over the mailbox. “For good luck,” Bonnie seethed. “You bastard-fucks. Payback’s a bitch and yours has come in three.”

  Nodding her head at Christina, Bonnie said, “Let’s do this thing and remember, when it goes off we run. If we get separated, we meet back at the Martins.”

  Turning her attention to Mandy, Bonnie said pointedly, “And no names. Understand? No names and no evidence.”

  Much to Christina and Mandy’s annoyance, Bonnie was taking her role as Sabrina Duncan way too seriously. Christina thought Bonnie had missed her true calling and should have been in the military. Christina lit the fuse, moving slowly back with her friends, and waiting for the mailbox to explode. Bonnie got her wish. It did go boom and when it did all hell broke loose.

  **********

  Riley

  “Let’s go do this,” Riley nodded at Jed, motioning with his head to a reluctant Dave. As the women were heading off toward Apron Park, so were the men. Dave spent most of the night trying to talk Riley and Jed out of it, but both would not be moved. In fact, Riley and Jed were looking forward to it.

  They were dressed from head to toe in black and Jed had brought balaclavas. Dave refused to wear his because he thought it made him look like the Gimp from Pulp Fiction. It did, but Jed insisted and that was part of the enjoyment.

  “You either put it on or you’re not coming,” Jed said. “And if you don’t, I’m going to tell everyone you’re a big Nancy, scared of the dark, and your mother-in-law forbade you from coming with the real men.”

  The men spent most of the evening waiting at the Hub & Spoke for Carl Beaumont and Shane Palmer to show up, but they were nowhere to be found. While they were killing time, Riley checked out Christina and Johnny performing on YouTube. He’d seen it before, but he took the opportunity to admire Johnny and Christina singing together.

  Loading the Wild in Shanwick blog, he went through the photos, frowning in concentration. There were new photos of him and Christina kissing passionately by his truck. He raised an eyebrow, shifting in his seat.

  She was right; someone was definitely targeting her and the critical question was why? Surely, the band, supermodel wives and girlfriends, and even Gabby, the radical protestor, were of more interest than Christina? It made no sense that Christina was the ‘star’ of the blog. There was something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but he’d get to the bottom of it.

  When he found the picture of Christina eating the hotdog, he nearly ruptured himself laughing. It was definitely obscene. She had her mouth wrapped around the hotdog and her eyes partially closed.

  She looked like she was performing fellatio and it made Riley put his face in his hands. Christina would hate it and quite frankly, so did he. The last thing he wanted was for other men to fantasize about her oral talents.

  As he was putting his phone away, Jed grabbed it off him. A smile broke over Jed’s face and he tapped Riley on the arm. “You are a lucky, lucky man.”

  The waiting began to wear on the men’s patience and they passed the time drinking beer. Dave and Jed were constantly bickering, which annoyed Riley, so he took the opportunity to canvass a few people in the bar on the whereabouts of their targets. He had no luck until he approached a couple of bikers and they informed him that the two pricks were probably at home.

  It would have been easier to confront them on neutral territory, but that wasn’t going to eventuate, so the men went to Plan B. Plan B was similar to Plan A. It just involved going to Beaumont and Palmer’s house to confront them there, instead of at the bar.

  They made their way across Apron Park without seeing anyone. When they got near to the main entrance of the park, just down from Beaumont and Palmer’s house, they all put their balaclavas on, even Dave. Creeping as silently as they could toward the street, they stopped and stared.

  What the hell? None of them could believe what was unfolding in front of them. Some crazy people were setting Beaumont and Palmer’s mailbox alight.

  The men shrank back into the darkness and then Riley froze. Even before he saw their faces, he knew who it was. He moved forward, but was too late. He could do little, but watch in horror as skyrockets started shooting toward Christina.

  **********

  Christina

  “AAAAAAGH!” The women screamed. “AAAAAGH! AAAAGH!”

  “Run, Jill,” screamed Bree (Bonnie) because Kelly (Mandy) was too busy jumping up and down, running in circles.

  “Go left,” screamed Bree, but Jill (Dina) always got her lefts and rights mixed up. Bree and Kelly watched in a mixture of amusement, an
d horror as Jill sprinted “right” as fast as she could. She was running away from the quickest and safest exit.

  The “boom” really was impressive and so was the explosive destruction of the mailbox, but what came after was karmic. They didn’t have time to appreciate the pretty colors or how cute the party poppers looked exploding before the skyrockets started whistling toward them. Skyrockets flew straight at Christina’s face and she had to duck, roll, and cover on the road to avoid them hitting her in the head.

  One whizzed right past her face before she dropped and she could smell burning. Oh god, her hat was on fire! She jumped up, flinging the beanie off, trying to put it out by clapping it in her hands, but she could still smell it. “AAAAAGH!” Christina screamed. “My hair is on fire!”

  She sprinted down the street, weaving, and slapping herself on the head, trying to put her hair out. She was halfway down the street before she realized her friends weren’t behind her, but she kept on running. Meet at my house, meet at mine. That was the plan. Yep, and as per usual, their plans were really freaking stupid.

  Bonnie and Mandy stood transfixed watching Christina run down the street slapping herself on the head. The spell was broken when doors started opening and people came out to see what was going on, including the owners of the mailbox. “Quick! Hide!” Snarled Bonnie, dragging a shell-shocked Mandy with her.

  They hid not far from the men who had gone still and were watching events trying not to laugh. “Did-did-you see that?” stuttered Mandy. “Oh my god, Bon-”

  “Code names,” hissed Bonnie.

  “B-B-Bree, did you see that? We destroyed it. It just went boom.”

  “That was the plan,” grinned Bonnie. “Now let’s get back to base.”

  “If anyone finds out, Bree, I’ll get in so much trouble.”

  “Oh-my-god,” growled Bonnie. “How old are you? Do you think Mommy and Daddy won’t let you play Angels with us anymore? Grow a pair, or strap some on, or whatever.”

  “Shut up,” hissed Mandy and pushed Bonnie in a way that no Charlie’s Angel had ever done to one another before.

  “You shut up,” retorted Bonnie.

  “No, seriously, shut up,” said Mandy and then they heard it.

  It wasn’t Carl Beaumont and Shane Palmer challenging them to come out and fight that unnerved them or how the neighborhood had turned feral. No. It was the sound of fire engines and police cars. They stared at one another for a microsecond and then turned tail, running as fast as they could to get away.

  **********

  Riley

  When Christina went sprinting past, slapping her own head, and face, Riley watched in bemusement. He’d been impressed with the drop, rock and roll, nodding his head in respect. The running, screaming, and slapping herself, however, was something else.

  Out of the corner of his eye, Riley saw Dave go to make some derogatory comment, but he put his finger up in warning. “Don’t you say a fucking word,” he hissed, shutting Dave up. Riley knew what she looked like and he didn’t need Dave highlighting it.

  Dave’s smugness didn’t last long when he saw Mandy running around in circles; jumping up and down. She was calling Bonnie “Bree” and squealing like an idiot. Riley turned to look at Dave with a smug look of his own.

  Dave went to step forward to grab Mandy, but Riley and Jed stopped him. She was hysterical and a black clothed, balaclava-wearing man, appearing out of the darkness, would do little to calm her down.

  Jed shook his head, chuckling quietly. “Those women know nothing about blowing stuff up safely. They should have talked to me,” he laughed, pointing to his chest. “I know a thing or two about explosives.”

  The men’s shoulders shook with silent laughter and they moved further back into the shadows waiting for their mad women-folk to leave. They watched as Bonnie grabbed Mandy, heading as fast as they could toward the Park as doors started opening, and people came out to see the damage. When Carl Beaumont and Shane Palmer came out challenging whoever had “fucking done this to come out and fight,” Riley stepped forward, but Jed held him back.

  “Our women have already beaten us to it. It’ll have to wait for another time, brother. Listen,” Jed said quietly in his ear.

  Riley squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted nothing more than to go punch Beaumont and Palmer in the face, but Jed was right. He could hear sirens and Christina was heading in the direction they were coming in. He hoped like hell she had the good sense to hide herself, but she looked panicked, and if he was being really honest, like someone that had escaped from an asylum.

  They waited for Bonnie and Mandy to head away before leaving their hiding spot. “Come on, let’s head back to the Martins,” Jed suggested. “I think we can get some mileage out of this with our women. The stupid mingers!”

  Riley went to follow Christina, but Jed shook his head. “If you’re seen, they’re going to blame you. She’ll be alright and if she’s not back when we get there, we’ll go find her.”

  Women. Riley shook his head. The only thing predictable was that they weren’t.

  **********

  Christina

  Christina was still sprinting down the street, running on adrenaline when she heard the sirens go. Oh no, she thought, I’m dead meat. Her past history with this town and images of prison sprung into her mind. If Shanwick got a chance to incarcerate her, they’d take it.

  She’d never snitch on Bonnie and Mandy, but there was a certain irony that she might end up doing the prison episode from Charlie’s Angels. She put her head down and tried to slow to a walk, but her legs kept jerking because her brain was telling her to run. When a car pulled up beside her, she thought: this is it, but to her relief, it was Gabby.

  “Get in, Dina. Now!” Gabby hissed. Christina jumped in and ducked down, as the fire engine and Police went past. “What happened?” Gabby giggled.

  “Oh god,” Christina moaned. “It went BOOM. The mailbox exploded and skyrockets flew at my face. Is my hair on fire? Is it burnt? Am I bald?” she shrieked.

  “Calm down,” Gabby snickered. “It’s fine. You’re fine. Now let’s get you home.”

  As they were heading into their street, Christina looked at her little sister. “Thanks, G. Seriously. Thank you.”

  Gabby grinned. “Welcome, big sis. I just wish I’d been there.”

  “Next time,” promised Christina and both the Martin sisters giggled. She had no doubt there would be a next time. It wouldn’t be exactly the same as this time, but it would be something else and equally as crazy.

  **********

  Riley

  Riley, Jed, and Dave waited outside the Martins’ house until all the women had gone inside. “Let’s go have some fun, lads,” Jed grinned. The men made their way to the front door, Jed rapping on it three times before a nervous Christina opened it.

  When she realized who it was, she visibly relaxed, opening the door wide and letting them inside. “Hey-hey,” Jed said with a charming smile. “Had a nice evening, ladies?”

  “Hey, baby,” Bonnie purred.

  Jed stood staring at his woman, mesmerized, and then shook his head to clear it. “We stopped in to see if you wanted to go out,” he smiled at Bonnie, but she pouted, shaking her head.

  Looking at the other women, Bonnie said nonchalantly. “We thought we’d just stay here, right?” The women glanced at each other and nodded nervously, all except Gabby. She was cool and in control, giving little away.

  Dina cleared her throat. “Yes,” she nodded, looking from side to side, and then focusing on Bonnie. “We thought we’d just stay in. Would you like a drink?” Nice deflection.

  Looking around the room, Jed sniffed. “There’s a funny smell in here. Did someone light a fire?”

  The women looked at each other and shook their heads without saying a word. Riley and Dave looked at their women, but they refused to make eye contact. Directing his attention to Christina, Riley asked, “So did you do anything interesting tonight, sweetheart?”


  She opened her mouth and closed it, leaving Bonnie to answer for her. “Not really. We just hung out here, you know, just doing girls’ stuff, and… things.”

  Dave smiled at Mandy. “There’s a big fire down by Apron Park. A couple of houses caught on fire. Fire engines, Police, everything. We heard about it at the bar.”

  The women looked horrified and Christina actually blanched. “Is-is anyone hurt?” Her eyes were as large as saucers and for a moment, Riley felt bad, but this was too good an opportunity to put some heat on the women.

  Dave shrugged. “I don’t know. I hope not. There are a lot of kids that live in that part of town. I hope they’re okay. I’m sure the Police will catch whoever did it, though.”

  “Mmmm,” agreed Jed. “Whoever did that were bloody eejit-morons. It looked like the work of complete amateurs.”

  Riley shrugged his shoulders. “I heard the cops picked up some drunk teenagers in the Park. They’re pretty sure they did it.” Keeping his face straight, he stared straight at Christina. “I’m sure they’ll get a prison sentence, if caught. What do you think, Dina? What would they be facing?”

  He watched Christina’s face, curious to see what she would do. Her face turned pale, while Mandy’s mouth opened and closed in horror. Bonnie and Gabby, however, looked relieved.

  Christina gulped. “It depends on what they’re charged with.” She ran her hands through her hair and started pacing, cursing just audibly. She stood stock-still and stared at him. “I-”

  “Shut up, Dina,” Bonnie hissed. “Don’t you say a word! Do you hear me? Not one word.”

  Looking at Riley, Christina said in a determined voice. “I did it. It was me and no one else was involved, okay? Just me. I didn’t mean to set houses on fire, but I can’t let kids be blamed for something I did.”

  “Shut up, Dina,” snarled Bonnie. “This will ruin your career!”

  “I ruined my career, Bonnie, and I’m not letting some kids go to jail for shit I did!” Christina yelled.