Ties That Bind

by Neeny Boucher

  “I’m just worried,” Bonnie said hurriedly. “I want this to work out for them. I really do, but this isn’t our first rodeo with a Dina and Riley reconciliation. If it all goes bad-”

  Jed scoffed. “You make them out to be like Romeo and Juliet,” he laughed, but there was silence from Bonnie and Johnny.

  “My mother used to call them Heathcliff and Cathy,” Johnny said quietly. “She believed they would end in tragedy.” And the bitch made sure that happened.

  That woman had pecked away at him and Christina from start to finish. Ella Martin had finally got her wish from the grave, getting Christina to make her a deathbed promise of going to law school in D.C. in order to get her away from Riley.

  Jed sighed. “I know. I understand this. They have the type of love where you don’t know whether to envy or-”

  “Pity them,” Johnny finished.

  Why couldn’t people mind their own business? Why couldn’t they just keep out of his and Dina’s relationship? He was sick of having to contend with third parties. The two of them could make enough trouble without any interference.

  After listening to that conversation, Riley wasn’t interested in going inside and pretending everything was okay. If he went in, he wouldn’t be able to keep the truth off his face and he wasn’t in the mood for a confrontation. Instead, he turned on his heel and left them to it.

  **********

  Riley got back to the farmhouse late in the afternoon, feeling semi-better after he’d taken Cartman for a run, and then spent time at the gym. To his relief, the house was empty, so he grabbed some food, hitting the shower to get ready for tonight. He was supposed to be meeting Christina for dinner and he needed to shake this mood off.

  The hot water eased his physical aches and pains, but failed to fully clear his head. Riley walked to his bedroom wrapped in a towel and found an outfit on his bed. He was about to throw the clothes in the trash when there was a knock on his bedroom door.

  Johnny stood on the threshold with an apologetic, lop-sided grin. Pointing to the outfit with a shrug, Jonny smiled. “Compliments of Meg. She wasn’t sure if you had something to wear.”

  Meg was Riley’s second in command at R.P.M Productions and his most valuable employee. He wouldn’t be able to do half the things he did without Meg, but sometimes she over-stepped her boundaries. Meg was also one of his ex-girlfriend Bianca’s best friends and had played matchmaker in getting them together.

  “Bullshit,” Riley scoffed. “She wants to make sure we’re all color-coordinated so we don’t embarrass her in public.”

  Johnny laughed, rubbing his thumb over his right eyebrow, and then asked. “Can we talk, man?”

  Riley gave Johnny a hard, long look. “I think you all did enough talking this morning, didn’t you?”

  Johnny grimaced. “Sorry about that, man. It wasn’t my idea, but things came up. Look,” he started and then paused. “I wish this could wait, but it can’t. You’re holding us up. We can’t do what we need to do until you finish your end.”

  Riley remained impassive, but he knew this was coming, and everything Johnny was saying was true. He knew what this must have cost Johnny to be here. Having deep and meaningful conversations wasn’t Johnny’s idea of a good time, nor was confronting an old friend.

  “I have to leave by January because of LiLi and the baby,” Johnny said in a rush. “We need to release this album and then do a mini-tour in Europe. We couldn’t do that this year because of Gabby. It’s critical that we do something for next year or people are going to start talking about us making a ‘come-back’.”

  Fuck. Riley felt guilty, but he was in unfamiliar territory. He’d never had to ‘force’ this before. It came naturally. Usually, he was a lot more professional than this, but his focus was elsewhere. “I have a massive creative block, Johnny,” he started. “You know what I have to do, but I’ve been putting it off.”

  Staring out the window, Riley could feel it pressing at the edges of his mind like the proverbial dark cloud, sucking the life out of everything. It would be so easy to give into it, letting the color leech from the world, and shadows dim his view. For so long, he’d welcomed this time of year as a controlled outlet for the dangerous part of his character, but not now. Now, he resented it.

  Johnny sighed. “You need to tell her, Riley. She’ll understand. I can’t keep doing this. I feel like I’m hiding shit from her and she’s my sister. I’m waiting for you to tell her because it’s your story, not mine, but this is driving me crazy.”

  “I’ll tell her when I’m ready, Johnny,” Riley snarled. “When she doesn’t have so much shit to deal with. She doesn’t need this.”

  “She’s strong,” Johnny protested. “Dina can cope with anything, she just doesn’t like being kept in the dark.”

  Rounding on Johnny, Riley growled. “Oh, she can cope with anything, can she? Did you know she was working hundred hour weeks in D.C. and not eating, so she could take time off to be with Gabby? Andy and her roommate used to take her food because she slept at her office. People thought she was going to have a breakdown or a heart attack. Did you know her job was in danger? Do you really know anything about her life at all, Johnny? Do any of you?”

  Johnny went silent and when Riley turned, he was staring into space. “No,” Johnny admitted. “I didn’t know that, but I promise you, I’ll make sure she’s okay. We all will.”

  Riley turned his back on Johnny. He didn’t want to do this. He did not want to do this.

  Johnny put his hand on Riley’s shoulder. “Muses are fickle beasts,” Johnny said quietly. “You know where mine took me and where Dad’s one takes him. We tap into whatever we have to for our art.”

  Riley laughed, but there was no warmth in it. “None of you can have a relationship with your muse, Johnny. Forgive me, but your Dad’s muse is dead. He has a relationship with his grief. Your muse was heroin and almost killed you. You have a relationship with its memory. My one is a living, breathing human being, and I’m in a relationship with her. You’re asking me to go back to that place and it could destroy what I have with Christina.”

  “Don’t go,” Johnny suggested. “Stay. We’ll work something out.”

  Riley almost snorted in derision. “I’m the lightning in the bottle, remember?”

  He could hear the sadness in Johnny’s voice, but sympathy didn’t change anything. “Yeah. You are, Riley. You’re the magic and if there was another option, I’d exercise it. I realize now we’ve relied too much on you, but it’s unfair.”

  Riley knew Johnny meant it, but it was a false hope. It was too late to get anyone else and it was on him. “I’ve never done this before,” he confessed. “I’ve never gone off-grid when she’s been waiting for me and I’m worried. I’m going to have to force myself into the headspace and I don’t know how I’m going to come back.”

  The two men held eye contact. Johnny’s eyes darkened orbs, just like Christina’s. “We’ll set up some parameters, okay?” Johnny suggested, but Riley had other concerns.

  “Just – just don’t tell her,” Riley insisted. “It’s up to me. I need to tell her. It has to come from me or she’ll never forgive me. I don’t know if that’s going to be enough, but I want to be the one, and I want to do it when this is over.”

  A shadow of pain crossed Johnny’s face, but he agreed. “And one more thing,” Riley stated. “I want one more week with Christina and then I’ll go.”

  He remained silent as Johnny left the farmhouse, lost in his own thoughts. At this time of year, these ones were never far from the surface. Instead of embracing them like he had in the past, he actually wanted to forget.

  Chapter Ten: The Bitter End

  Riley: The Past, Shanwick, July 2007

  “She’s after our money,” Grace Riley hissed. “It’s not good enough for her to drive you away? Oh no. Now she wants to take your money as well.”

  Riley laughed. “She’s not after my money, Mom. I don’t have any. I don’t think she actu
ally wants the divorce.”

  “Stop being obtuse, Nicholas!” Grace snapped. “You’ll have a lot of money when your trust comes due, something Christina knows all too well. It’s not as if the Martins have a lot of money-”

  “I agree with your mother,” Leo Riley interrupted, frowning at his youngest son. “Dina seemed sure of herself when she handed us the divorce papers and told us she’d go after half of everything. She’s got a claim, Nick. Our lawyer said so.”

  Riley groaned. “Dad, Dina doesn’t want the money. She’s not interested in it. She wants to push me into making a decision. Well, I’m making one. I’m going to get her. I want this resolved once and for all.”

  “No,” Grace said adamantly, shaking her head. “Don’t do that. Please, just sign the divorce papers and put this behind you.”

  Riley sighed. “Mom, I don’t want to put this behind me. I want her.”

  They had been arguing on and off for days, ever since Dina turned up with divorce papers. She handed them to his parents and threatened to go after half of everything unless Riley signed. At first he’d been pissed off, but now he was wryly amused.

  Riley shook his head and grinned. He should have known she’d do something like this. They knew how to push each other’s buttons and she’d certainly thrown down the gauntlet.

  It was time. They’d punished each other enough and if the last few weeks had taught him anything, life was better with her than without. Turning to Steven, who was sitting impassively observing the exchange, Riley asked, “Do you want to add anything, Steven? You want to tell me what a mistake I’m making? Because if you do, now’s your chance.”

  Steven shook his head. “Go get your girl, Nick, and don’t take no for an answer.”

  Riley grinned, clapping his big brother on the shoulder before walking out of his parents’ house. His mother’s disapproving comments followed him, but he closed the back door loudly on her protestations. Heading to the farmhouse with a smile on his face, he was resolved to do what he should have done in the beginning: gone and got Dina.

  Dina was his and he was hers. She wanted a decision about their relationship? He’d made it and he chose her.

  He was throwing bags in the back of his old pick-up truck when he saw Steven loping towards him. “Nick,” Steven called out. “Wait up.”

  Riley figured Steven had been sent by their parents to try and talk some sense into him, but he was going regardless. “Here,” Steven said smiling and handing him a stack of cash. “This should cover what you need. You’re going to need to book some airline tickets. The truck isn’t going to make it all the way to D.C. and back.”

  Steven was right. The truck needed some work done on it and he didn’t have any spare change. He counted the money and stared at Steven in shock. Three-thousand dollars? Steven had given him three-thousand dollars.

  Riley was genuinely touched. He wouldn’t call him and Steven close, but he knew he could always count on his brother. He hadn’t realized how much, until now. “Thanks, man,” he mumbled. “I appreciate it. I’ll pay you back as soon as I can.”

  Steven shrugged and Riley knew his brother thought he was making empty promises. Until his trust came due, Riley wasn’t the rich one in the family, and he also knew they didn’t have much faith in him. They all thought he was going to squander his trust fund in a year and fulfill his role as the family ‘loser’.

  Riley got it. In comparison to the rest of the Rileys, Mr. Responsible: he was not. He made his way to the Martins’ and got Christina’s address off Gabby, before heading to the airport.

  As far as he was concerned, their ‘push me/pull me’ game had gone on long enough. He was willing to make compromises and he was pretty sure he could talk her into moving to Seattle. If not, he’d wait. It was only a couple of years and he could find himself something to do. If it were so important to her, he would do this for her.

  Riley shook his head. He and Dina: they’d never be over. He just didn’t think it was possible and also, he didn’t want it to be over. He’d tried and all it took was one look. There was no getting over this for either of them and they both needed to accept that.

  He sat in the airport lounge waiting to board his flight, trying to get his head straight about Christina, and what he was going to do. They’d reconnected at Mandy and Dave’s wedding, and the intense love was still there. A part of him had hoped that it would be gone, but as soon as he’d locked eyes with her: that was it.

  They hadn’t parted on very good terms, but he wanted to rectify that. She’d scared his parents half to death with the divorce papers and threats to go for half of everything. The thought made Riley laugh out loud, but he stopped when people started giving him strange looks. He stared at them until they turned away, and when the time came, he boarded his flight to D.C.

  On arrival, Riley hired a car and booked into a cheap hotel, deciding he’d go see Christina early in the morning. He fell asleep, dreaming of Dina. This was going to be the last night without her by his side. He was going to make sure of that.

  **********

  Frowning, Riley sat opposite the address he’d been given. This couldn’t be her place? It was a dump and he couldn’t believe she would live here. The thought made him chuckle. Christina was fastidious and the amount of fights they’d had about their different standards of cleanliness, were too numerous to count.

  He was about to get out of his car when he noticed a guy running along the street. The guy was skinny, with black, spiky hair, and in running gear, wearing sunglasses. He looked like a poser dick.

  Riley watched in surprised amusement as Poser dude ran up the steps. His smile faded as Dina opened the door in her robe and this douche kissed her on the lips. His knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel, rage building, imagining all the things he wanted to do to this fucking guy.

  And her. She’d been playing him the entire time. She was a fucking, lying, dirty whore.

  Riley didn’t know how long he’d sat there, but he knew one thing: he didn’t want her back. As the door opened and Poser stepped out, Riley decided payback was in order.

  Starting up the car, he followed Poser slowly, until they were further away from the house. Coming up alongside Poser, he wound his window down. “Hey,” Riley called out. “You, in the running gear.”

  Poser turned slowly, pointing at himself. “Yeah, you,” Riley nodded. “We need to talk.”

  **********

  Christina

  Christina had arrived back in D.C. from Shanwick in emotional turmoil. What-had-she-done? Her mind winced over the mess she’d created and what she had to do to put it right.

  She wasn’t proud of herself for involving Riley’s parents in the divorce. It made her feel guilty and sick to her stomach, but she wasn’t backing down either. She needed closure.

  In actuality, Christina needed “closure” in a few facets of her life and avoidance wasn’t an option this time. After discussing her problems with her roommate, Marie, Christina made the call she didn’t want to make. She was about to break a good man’s heart because her heart belonged to another, even though he didn’t want or appreciate it.

  Christina had met Ted Bateman in her second year of college. He’d pursued her, refusing to accept her rebuffs in a good-humored, light-hearted way. After six months, she’d finally agreed to go on a date with him and he’d planned a night so romantic and magical, that it embarrassed her.

  Her reaction had amused him and after that wonderful night, they’d fallen into a relationship: one that was so easy. Ted was the man that helped heal her with his kindness and showed her another world, one that wasn’t filled with grief or pain. She liked his jet-black hair and blue eyes, and his quiet determination.

  Ted never pushed her for more than she was willing to give, accepting her reticence and fear of commitment as something he could overcome with love. Christina wasn’t in love with Ted, but she loved him. He made her laugh and he’d organize dates that would put romantic m
ovie writers to shame.

  She wanted to love Ted so badly, but she couldn’t, and now she realized, she never would. Shanwick had shown her that. Even if her and Riley were toxic and unsalvageable, the heart wanted what the mind did not.

  On her return to D.C., Christina put off calling Ted for three days. She knew he would arrive on her doorstep as soon as he heard she was back and she needed time to prepare herself to do something so cruel that it made her feel physically sick. They’d agreed to meet at 10:00 a.m., but he arrived nearly two hours early, getting her out of bed.

  A sleepy Christina opened the door to find Ted in his running gear and a cheerful smile on his face. “Hey,” Ted grinned, kissing her on the lips. “I’ve missed you. Sorry I know I’m early, but I just couldn’t wait to see you.”

  He asked her a barrage of questions about her time in Shanwick and she answered every one, as politely as she could. When Ted sat down opposite her, she looked him in the eye. “Ted, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to talk to you.”

  Ted’s eyes narrowed and the joy in them was slowly replaced by confusion. “Ted, you deserve better than me,” she said shakily. “You deserve the best person in the world and that’s not me.”

  “Christina,” Ted started, “that’s ridiculous. You’re one of the best people I know.”

  She shook her head. “I’m not, Ted, and there are so many things you don’t know about me. Trust me, you don’t want to know them either. I’m not the person you think I am and I can never be the person you need. We need a clean break because I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I have to.”

  They talked and argued for two hours with Christina refusing to give him her reasons for breaking up beyond her thinking he deserved better. She didn’t want to tell him she’d cheated on him with her ex-husband. She had never even told him she had been married and was separated.

  Christina wanted to spare hurting Ted unnecessarily and she was adamant that she was going to keep all the ugliness from her past away from him. Ted looked at the world through a lens that was clean and clear. She didn’t want to cast shadows over it or taint the way he viewed everything around him.