“In that case, it will be difficult to convey matters to Sister through our mental connection…”
It worked only for a given range, and only on the condition that both their minds were awake. The limitations of range and willpower were particularly strict when Rem was transmitting to Ram. It was not possible to link to Ram at the present range, and even if range were not an issue, it would soon be late at night.
“…Yes, we should camp.”
Having made that decision, Rem directed the land dragon to come to a stop through the reins. The creature gently halted, breathing through its nostrils as it looked up at Rem. She left Subaru in the driver’s seat, leaping down to the ground to confirm that the area was safe.
Night had already fallen over the Liphas Highway. For illumination, Rem had only the light of the moon and a lagmite crystal attached to the dragon carriage to rely on. Fortunately, there was little cloud cover that night, so the light of the moon was plenty to see by. There was probably little chance of being attacked by some kind of highwaymen.
“Pardon me, Subaru.”
Rem picked up the boy sleeping on the driver’s seat bridal-style, resting him upon a blanket inside the carriage.
After watching Subaru’s relaxed breathing and his sleeping face, Rem exited the carriage and proceeded to stand watch over the campsite. She had little concern about bandits, but more than a few wild-dog and demon-beast packs were known to roam the highway at night. Rem knew that wild animals and demon beasts hungry for the taste of flesh and blood were far more dangerous than human beings.
“But you are here, too, tonight, so perhaps I have little need to worry about that.”
Rem reached out with her hand, stroking the head of the land dragon as it lowered the tip of its snout toward her.
This was the wise and prudent creature that had stuck with her throughout the reckless forced march. Though he and Rem were first-time acquaintances, he had shown no sign of rebelling against her commands. She imagined the duchess’s family ought to be praised for the scrupulous training of its beasts of burden.
It was not unrelated, however, to the fact the land dragon’s instincts told it that a demon occupied a higher place on the food chain.
Among the various species of dragons, land dragons were conspicuous for their friendly relations with the humanoid races. They often occupied crucial roles in the lives of mankind and were beloved for their gentle personalities.
Flying dragons and water dragons required special training, and many of them were ill-tempered. Thanks to that, they had relatively little place in the daily lives of humanoids.
At any rate, land dragons were well known among dragon-kind for their gentleness and intimacy with people, but as a species, they drew the line when it came to all other beasts.
There were virtually no wild animals so ignorant that they would willingly attack a land dragon. Plus, the land dragons themselves possessed an unusually keen nose for any kind of danger.
Nothing short of a sizable band of highwaymen or a particularly large pack of demon beasts would attack them, and land dragons could sniff out such a large gathering before it ever arrived. This was the greatest reason that they were prized treasures for merchants and other travelers.
Rem whispered toward the dragon carriage, “Rest well, Subaru.”
She continued to pet the nearby beast as she sat on the ground. As she did, she leaned against its tough hide, covered herself with a blanket, and she spread her attention to the surrounding area.
If they departed the next morning with the rising sun, they’d surely arrive back at the mansion before noon.
She would return without having fulfilled her objectives. She had to take her scolding without a single word of complaint. Even so, she at least had to work to keep Subaru from being hurt in the process.
“And to get him back to his old self…”
Surely only Emilia could do that. Rem could not help but be irritated by that.
In the first place, Emilia was a very difficult person for Rem to get close to.
Even Roswaal, who had welcomed her as a guest, treated her as a superior now that she was a royal selection candidate.
In fact, he had also ordered both Rem and Ram to get close to her.
Her master, Roswaal, treating Emilia more highly than himself did not particularly bother Rem. Ram seemed displeased with Roswaal’s adherence to hierarchy, but Rem’s regard for such things was not as strong as her older sister’s.
Of course, Ram was not such a fool as to openly air her opinion on the matter. Nonetheless, Rem frequently picked up hints of deep dissatisfaction over their telepathy, whereas normally she would sense very little.
The complicated feelings Rem felt toward Emilia had nothing to do with Roswaal. It was terribly vulgar, but Rem’s conflicted thoughts toward Emilia were the product of the circumstances of her birth—the fact that she was a half-elf. In other words, because she was a half-demon.
In her head, Rem understood that Emilia herself had done nothing wrong. However, the emotional part of herself just couldn’t accept it. Emilia was not in the wrong. However, half-demons had affected Rem’s life, their influence far too large to lightly dismiss.
She still remembered how the Witch Cult had laid waste to her birthplace. That fact pricked terribly at Rem’s heart.
As a result, she had firmly maintained her position of “guest and servant” where Emilia was concerned. Rem disregarded her emotions and responded to Emilia’s instructions like an automaton. If no special occasion demanded it, Rem avoided coming into contact with her so that she would not pick up on her demeanor. Their tacit relationship was to never encounter the other by choice, whether their intentions were fair or foul.
Time passed, and Rem had thought their weak relationship would continue unaffected by the royal selection. Based on her position, she thought it highly unlikely she would be involved with the matter at all. When thinking of her own role to play, she decided that going out of her way to support Emilia went beyond her duties.
—And yet, Rem’s feelings toward her had changed since back then.
She wondered if it was herself who had changed or Emilia? It was probably both, set in motion by a common cause—Subaru. Since the moment he wedged himself into her daily life, Rem’s world had undergone great changes. When how you feel about the world changes, everything looks different, like black and white bursting into vivid color.
Her work at the mansion felt more rewarding than before. No longer afraid of standing by her sister’s side, she gained the confidence to approach Roswaal and Beatrice more. In spite of her decision not to lend her support, she’d found herself exchanging words with Emilia more often. After all, she knew that they shared a common interest.
And though she held the boy in her own fleeting thoughts, she knew just who was the apple of his eye.
That was why Emilia remained a source of irritation for Rem.
“I cannot bring myself to love, or hate, Lady Emilia. I am indecisive, aren’t I…?”
It was a quiet night. The only things she heard were the faint sounds of insects and the breathing of the land dragon at her side. Relying only on the light of the moon, the boundary between dream and reality was indistinct. Her thoughts shifted from place to place of their own volition.
Time seemed to flow slowly. She felt like she’d looked up at the moon numerous times, only to find its position unchanged.
The night was long. That time alone was a deep, cold eternity.
Abruptly, Rem was seized by the urge to sneak back inside the carriage behind her, which she was protecting. There, Subaru was sleeping with a gentle expression, too deeply to be dreaming. How good would it feel to slide under the blankets at his side, to share that warmth between them?
“Even though I was touching him so closely until just earlier… It is a luxury I cannot afford.”
Rem rebuked herself for being affected by the urge, but her heart would not stop picturing the
fantasy.
—A temptation arose, the temptation to throw anything and everything to the winds.
At this rate, harsh realities far removed from Subaru’s ideals awaited him upon his return to the mansion. She could still run off with the dragon carriage somewhere, with nothing but her own conscience to chide her. The funds Roswaal had granted her for traveling expenses were considerable. With that, she and Subaru could no doubt head somewhere and live in seclusion together.
With time and continued contact with people, Subaru could move past his present childlike state and regain himself. Even if it was different from before, they might be able to share the same moments together.
Surrounded by people who had no idea that they had fled there, she and a recovered Subaru could begin brand-new lives together. It would be a quiet life with the one she cared about, with no one to get in her way—
“Tee-hee, now that’s a fantasy…”
Rem shook her head and, holding her knees, pressed her forehead against them, smiling weakly at her own imagination.
There was no way that she could choose to turn her back on everything. To even have the thought was a sin. She could never simply abandon Sister, abandon Ram, back at the mansion. Sister and Rem were two halves of a single whole. On top of that, she couldn’t even imagine what burdens Ram would have to carry in her absence.
She was a kind older sister who indulged Rem, so no doubt she would forgive even this. That was why she could never betray Sister.
Roswaal had entrusted Rem with such a fortune precisely because he had faith in her loyalty. Her diligent personality would not permit her to betray such trust, either.
“More than that… I cannot leave Subaru in this state after all.”
To begin with, Rem was well aware of her strong personal desire to have things to herself. If at all possible, she wanted everyone precious to her to be right at her fingertips. Doing her utmost for others helped her feel the worth of her existence deep down. It was no exaggeration to say that she was born predisposed to be a maid.
That was why the effort required to care for Subaru in this state was not really a hardship from her perspective. Indeed, she would feel fulfilled if Subaru was unable to live day to day without her.
But this wasn’t the real Subaru.
The words she had used to reply to Crusch when they parted ways came to mind.
I suppose it is…because Subaru is special?
Yes. That was everything.
She remembered his smile. She remembered his voice. She remembered his words. Rem remembered what he had said to her and the warmth of his hand reaching out to her back when everything in her life was stagnant, when she was drowning in resignation. It was Subaru who had rescued Rem from the mistaken path of despair that she walked. Rem had made an error in judgment and planned to abandon those children, and it was Subaru who had saved them.
Even though he was bathed in demon-beast curses, walking his own tightrope between life and death, Subaru had abandoned no one. Not Ram and not Rem.
It was enough. It was plenty. Nothing more was required.
What more did Rem need than to devote herself to Subaru Natsuki, body and soul?
What more was required than the feelings burning in her chest?
She would do whatever was necessary so that he could regain his true self, so that she might know his company once more.
And why? Because the person known as Subaru Natsuki—
“…Is a bedeviled, incredible person.”
5
Rem stroked her hair back, moist from the foggy morning air, and gently raised her head.
Perhaps it was accurate to call her half awake. Rem felt a little woozy, hovering somewhere between sleep and waking as her internal clock told her it was time to finally rise to her feet.
There had been no changes of note during the night. No demon beast or highwayman had appeared; she hadn’t even sensed any.
All that said, Rem seemed to have been fairly worn out as well. Certain of her comparative safety, her body had strived to recover while she was half-awake.
She rose to her feet, stretching up high as she felt the cool morning breeze.
It was a lazy, unladylike gesture. She would never do such a thing where others could see, but she had no concern about that at the moment. The only one around was Subaru, sleeping soundly beside h—
“S-Subaru?!”
Rem jumped in surprise when she noticed Subaru was right beside her, curled up under a blanket.
Since he’d been leaning on Rem for support, the young man gently flopped onto the grass, scowling as he turned his body a little.
“H-he came out of the carriage while I was sleeping and cuddled up next to me…?”
Rem hastily looked between the boy and the dragon carriage behind him. Even putting the truth into words sent her into quite a panic.
On the one hand, she was shocked that she hadn’t noticed him moving; on the other, she blushed hard as she realized just how tolerant her heart had become where Subaru was concerned.
In other words, even if Subaru had assaulted her in her sleep, she would never have resisted.
“…I have been too careless.”
Even as she made that maidenly lament, Rem thought deep down that Subaru’s action might be a good omen, the next step after he behaved himself so well during the dragon carriage ride.
Subaru made no response except laughing or crying. Yet even in that state, he had performed a voluntary action, getting out of the dragon carriage under his own power. Rem held onto the hope that his broken heart was beginning to mend and his personality beginning to reform.
“—All right. Let us go back, Subaru.”
If a change had been initiated, things would probably head in a good direction thereafter. Such optimistic thoughts were not like her, but this, too, was no doubt the influence of the young man before her eyes. And that internal shift was something Rem considered very dear to her.
She believed that the thoughts rising into her head the night before had been a bad dream caused by her timid mind and tired body. She’d completely forgotten it, a cheerful future having overwritten it as if it had never existed.
She lifted up the still sleeping Subaru, resting him upon the driver’s seat as she roused the land dragon. She brought water for the awakened beast to drink, rewarding him for his long hours standing watch, and prepared for their departure.
With one hand embracing Subaru over her knees and the other holding the reins, they departed once again. The carriage wheels turned, and the scenery moved.
They were about halfway there. It would probably take another seven to eight hours of travel.
Her mental and physical endurance was far stronger than on the day of their departure, with its tragic circumstances. Subaru was deeply asleep, and Rem gazed at the side of his face, conveying her impatient feelings through the reins so as to pick up the pace.
A faint vibration ran through the dragon carriage. Rem adjusted her embrace of the curled-up Subaru, intertwining her own fingers with his.
“It looks so slender…but this is indeed a boy’s hand.”
Resigning herself to her weakness in fleeing to that hand, she hoped her meek desire to touch him could be forgiven. It was a little ritual for forgetting about a bad dream.
“This warmth, having you so close… If I have that, it is enough.”
After all, hoping for more was simply her own selfishness.
Her feelings from sensing that warmth, and the fact he needed her, had been carved into Rem’s heart. She would give him her utmost efforts.
—She would give him everything she had.
6
—There was something amiss in the air.
As the dragon carriage raced onward, Subaru seemed to be sleeping poorly, so Rem had rested him atop her knees, using her supporting arm to stroke his black hair when she finally realized it.
Maybe it was the fact she’d had a lot of time to think things ove
r the night before. Rem, having accepted to a certain extent the complicated feelings within her, was jubilant on the inside when she saw that Subaru had gotten out of the dragon carriage in the dead of night to snuggle up against her.
If that was the reason she had failed to notice the change sooner, she was a great fool indeed.
“It is…too quiet…”
In all that time on the Liphas Highway, Rem had not come across another land dragon even once. This was an offshoot from the main highway, but seeing none at all, even on the distant horizon, was clearly unnatural. Normally, traveling merchants en route to the royal capital and peasants returning with new farm implements were here and there all over the highway.
And yet, the road had been deserted since the day before.
She had not taken any special measures to avoid farms, but she hadn’t seen a single person, man or child. What was particularly wrong was that the cries of birds and insects had vanished from her ears a short while earlier.
A bad feeling rushed into the back of Rem’s mind.
Such silence meant that the creatures of the wild were in hiding. It was a sure omen of something beyond the ken of man. As they cut through the hills and entered the mountain road, drawing closer to the mansion, that malaise had only increased.
With unease, Rem snapped the reins to spur the land dragon, already running at a desperate speed, to hurry even faster. She knew she was pushing it too far, but she had no time to spare to locate the cause of that unease. She didn’t mind if it turned out to be a baseless fear. She would apologize to both Subaru and the land dragon for accompanying her on the reckless journey. She would face them just as she had faced her own anxieties the night before.
And just after she had that thought…
“—Sister?”
Suddenly, thoughts that were not her own threw her mind into chaos. Nearly unbearable levels of anxiety, anger, and fury flooded her, and then it all immediately vanished, leaving Rem on her own.
ReZERO_Starting Life in Another World Vol. 5 Page 16