Malibu Betrayals

by M. K. Meredith

  “You are nothing like him.” The vehemence in her voice a telling sign of how far she’d fallen.

  Gage chuckled. “I appreciate the vote of confidence, and you’re right. Ethan Evans and I are nothing alike. But I understand searching for ways to feel relevant. It never works. It’s gotta come from within”—he tapped over the area of his heart—“or it’s never enough.”

  Sam rested back, once again losing herself in the steady rhythm of his heart. So calm, steady—like him.

  He was right, but was he talking about Ethan or her? Did she love herself?

  She was certainly trying, damn it.

  But she was fighting an uphill battle. After everything Ethan had done, she was terrified, and the idea she considered putting her heart in the hands of a celebrity seemed ludicrous.

  Gage was supportive and warm, challenging and fun, and most of all, nothing like Ethan, but if she did love herself, would she really risk that kind of position?

  He brushed her hair away from her forehead. “What are you thinking about?”

  “I’m going to file a restraining order tomorrow.”

  “Good. You need to, but what are you really thinking about?”

  “How wonderful you are, and how scared I am.”

  He squeezed her shoulders, and she sat up.

  Dropping his feet to the floor, he held her with his gaze. “Not all celebrities are alike. Being with one is not like being with another.”

  She hesitated. “I’m sorry, but—”

  “Sam.” He lifted her chin with a finger. “I’m not searching for anything to make me whole. I’ve already found it.”

  She tensed.

  “And as much as I love you, it isn’t you, so you can wipe the terrified look off your face. It’s me, my acting, the chance to give back. I won’t be constantly searching for something else. Which leaves me to love you.”

  Something unfurled in her chest. She opened her mouth to speak, but he placed his hand over hers.

  “I know this is hard for you, and it’s hard for me, too. I’m sure you expect me to trust you, too, but it isn’t easy when I know you don’t trust me. I want a partnership, Sam. I don’t want this relationship to be all about whether or not you can trust me, but about trusting each other. Working together.”

  And then it happened: an opening, like a rush of fresh air, or sudden clarity, and her heart turned over in her chest with a firm thub-dub. She loved him. Plain and simple and beautiful.

  Unable to say the words, she studied how his brows drew together over the intense light of his eyes, and turned her hand to link her fingers with his.

  Ethan had never wanted a partnership; he’d wanted an assistant, a house keeper, or a convenient plus one.

  But Gage wanted her and everything she had to give.

  It was time to turn light and easy into bold and brave.

  …

  Gage watched his sister approach with hot coffee and a bag of Blinkie’s donuts. Bless the woman. Coffee and donuts on the beach became their standard meeting place since he’d moved into his waterfront property. Already hitting the gym an hour each afternoon, these little visits required him to either cut down on dinner or add an extra thirty minutes to his cardio.

  He helped her with the loot and then pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you. You’re a life saver.”

  Bel stepped back and looked him over. “You look like hell.”

  “I haven’t had any coffee yet.” He took a sip. The liquid scalded his tongue, and he jerked the cup back with a curse.

  “Yeah, it’s coffee. Supposed to be hot.” She put her arm around his shoulders. “Are you okay?”

  He glanced down at her with derision. “Like you care.”

  She laughed as they settled in the sand. Gage ate his donut in two bites.

  “Slow down.”

  He sipped his coffee, with more care this time. Shoving his hand in the bag, he pulled out another and took a bite. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Bel. I love Sam. The life I want is only possible with her in it. But I’m asking her to deal with it and live with all of the stress my job brings with it.”

  Bel lowered her coffee to her lap. “Well, considering her past, she’s probably scared. Don’t push her.”

  “She’s scared?” He demanded, his mouth full of donut. “Any second she’s going to leave. I’m the one who’s fucking scared.”

  Bel glanced out over the rippling waves. “You left.”

  Gage stilled. “What?”

  His sister took a dainty bite of her glazed donut and chewed. Washing it down with her coffee, she turned toward him. “You left. For school. I was crushed and felt abandoned, again, but I loved you so much. You aren’t Mom; I knew that.”

  Gage sat in stunned silence. He’d never known his leaving affected her like that, or he would never have gone.

  “You seemed half the world away. But I waited and you came back. Because you love me so much.”

  Guilt clogged his throat, and he dropped his donut back in the bag. “Bel, come on. I was at film school.”

  She nodded. “I know. And I was fourteen and had no big brother to help me navigate high school. I didn’t think about what you were doing, but what you weren’t.”

  “Shit, I’m sorry.”

  Bel smiled and took another bite of her donut. “I know, and I survived. I think, in a way, it was good. Gave me and Dad some time to bond. I think how close he and I got is why I set my sights on Pepperdine.”

  Gage stood. “So what you’re saying is that you owe me for your great success.”

  “Spoken like a true Hollywood elitist. No, what I’m saying is give her space, time. Things’ll work out. If you push her, she will bolt, and you will be left alone.”

  He reached out and helped her up.

  “She’s afraid and with good reason. Being married to you means possibly months of being apart, keeping crazy hours. If you have a family, most of the burden will fall on her even though she has a job, too.”

  He opened his mouth to argue.

  Shaking her head, Bel put her hand up. “You film on different continents all the time. She won’t be able to just drop everything and go with you. Not if she is trying to build her career back.”

  They walked shoulder to shoulder, and Gage stared out over the surf. He and Sam would have their challenges, but they’d be able to face each one as a team. The how and the what could be figured out, but there would be no reason to without Sam.

  Pulling in a breath, he settled his arm around Bel’s shoulders. “I like the idea of being responsible for your success better. I’m going to stick with that.”

  Bel shook her head and punched him in the shoulder. “Of course you would.”

  Gage squeezed her hand. “I’m really sorry. I had no idea.”

  “I know. If you had, you wouldn’t have gone. Why do you think I never said anything? You’d always put me first. Before school, your friends, even Dad. I was young, but not stupid. I wanted you to be happy. You’d have never gone, and you needed to. It just sucked, that’s all. I missed you.”

  The more he worked on changing and growing, the more mistakes he discovered he’d made along the way. Maybe he’d been kidding himself from the beginning. He thought he’d changed, but deep down, was he the same selfish guy he’d always been? He wanted a life with Sam, but if their relationship only brought her constant reminders of Ethan, fans intruding into their lives, and an absentee husband, was it fair to ask her to want him back?

  Chapter Twenty

  Gage needed the director and the producer to come to a decision yesterday and release the cast. It had been almost twenty-four hours since he’d last had any time with Sam. The end of their conversation had kept him on edge, and every time he went to go find her to check in, he got called into something else.

  Last night, she’d grabbed a bottle of wine and knocked on his office door, but he’d been on a string of interviews, and by the time he’d finished, she was sound asleep. He’d thrown
himself into a full-blown work out and then dragged himself to bed around two in the morning, only to find a message from his agent calling him into an eight a.m. meeting. There was nothing to be done but have security come and stay until Sam was up and ready to go to the set, which wouldn’t be until closer to ten. A frustrating schedule, and it wasn’t the first time it happened, but today was the worst time for it to happen.

  Finally they’d wrapped up shooting for the day, and he rounded the corner of shelves to find Sam bent over her desk. He loved the curve of her back and the way the little hairs at the nape of her neck escaped the confines of her pencil-secured bun, as if they too were shouting their independence.

  “I can’t believe filming is almost over.” Gage stood behind her as she poured intently over her copy of the screenplay.

  She spared him a quick glance and nodded. “It’s gone fast. You guys have been brilliant.” Flipping a few pages, she settled on one. She pulled her pencil from her hair and tapped it against the edge of the manuscript. “If I can just get this last scene right. Something’s missing.”

  Her hair fell in a cascade of alternating shades of chocolate, her scent wafting past his nose as the mass settled below her shoulders. Vanilla and citrus made him want to pull her in to ease the pressure in his chest like a pastry might do for an emotional eater. Gage searched the area she worked in, through shelves of equipment, props, lights, and microphones, until he finally discovered a stool under an oversized tarp. Dragging one over, he dropped down next to her. “Thank you for checking in with Martin.”

  She focused her attention on his face. “No-brainer. I don’t want you calling my dad or brother to the set as my bodyguards.”

  Gage chuckled and dipped his head in acknowledgement and then tilted his head, studying her face. “I feel like it’s been ages since I’ve seen you. I had to go in early this morning.”

  She set her pencil down and turned toward him, her gaze roaming over his face and then down to his hands. He released his grip on the table, dropping his hands to his lap, and she lifted them gently into hers. “I know, but at least I finally got to those manuscripts I’d been putting off.” She rubbed her thumb along the top of his hand. “We need to talk.”

  His gut twisted. “Yeah, I figured as much.” He glanced down at where her knees rested against the side of his thigh, always so surprised by how much such a simple sharing of space affected him, and then back to her face.

  She blew out a breath. “I’m terrified,” she whispered. “And pissed.”

  Standing, she paced the small area. “You were right, you know. About me holding on to being a victim. I’ve been hiding, hoping no one would notice me.” She stopped and faced him, her hands clenched in front of her. “All of this has been weighing on me, but I found some clarity when we talked. I just needed some time to process it. I’m done hiding.”

  Gage’s heart dropped in his chest. He turned in his seat, leaning toward her. “What are you saying?”

  She smiled, her lower lip trembling, and stepped between his legs. His arms wrapped around her waist, and he looked up at her, uncertainty snaking up his spine.

  Running her fingers through the fine hairs at the back of his neck, she pulled in a breath. “Like I said, I’m terrified.”

  He stood, keeping her in his arms and sighed, dropping his forehead to hers. “You’re not the only one.”

  “You’re shaking.”

  Raising his head, he stared down into her eyes. “What are you telling me, Sam?” Blood rushed to his head, and he feared he wouldn’t hear her response. His fingers flexed at her waist.

  She tilted her head to the side, her gaze direct. “I think you know.”

  Gage shook his head. “No, I don’t. Say the words.” And please let them be the ones he wanted to hear. He closed his eyes.

  She pressed her mouth to his, a soft caress. “I love you, Gage. I want to try to be with you for the long haul.”

  The air left his lungs, both fear and elation stealing his breath. “You love me?”

  “I love you.”

  “There’re no guarantees.” That was an understatement, but he was so afraid she didn’t know what she was saying. Could they really have a chance to make something real?

  He dropped his face to her shoulder and held on tight. The possibilities raced through his mind on fast forward. He pulled back and looked into her face, her eyes wide and smiling up at him. She was worth it, and it seemed she thought he was worth it, too. A tentative staccato of acceptance beat in his chest. With a “whoop,” he picked her up and spun her around.

  Sam laughed and hugged him in return.

  He wanted the chance to see that smile every morning, to watch her bite her lip when she was concentrating, and tuck her toes up under her when she wanted to relax, and he never wanted to let her go. Now more than ever, he needed to show her the life they could have together, regardless of his work in Hollywood.

  She stepped back to her desk, arms folded across her chest, still smiling but her brows furrowed as well.

  “I know you’re scared, I am too, but we can handle anything they want to throw at us, Sam. Look how far we’ve come already.”

  She nodded. If there was ever a time for her to show her strength, it was now. He hoped she could reach deep and tap into what made her survive the past few years.

  “I’ll let you get back to work. Don’t make any plans for tonight, okay?”

  She nodded. “Okay.”

  …

  The rest of the day had flown on set. They were making great progress on the film and even projected an earlier wrap-up time than expected. Sam and Gage had gone back to his place, and now she stood in his kitchen, wine in hand, watching him add the final touches to dinner.

  She loved that he cooked, and having someone cook dinner for her was a treat she hadn’t experienced often.

  He added two large portions of lasagna to each plate with a drizzle of an olive oil and marinara sauce over the top. Pulling garlic bread from the oven, he looked over his shoulder and sent her a wink. He set the tray on the counter and then cut off thick chunks, adding them to the plates as well. “If you grab our wine, I’ll take these to the table.”

  His phone rang, and they both froze. With his brow furrowed, he checked the number and with a sigh answered it. “Hey, Martin.”

  He lifted a finger asking her to wait a second and spoke quietly into the phone. “Not tonight, Martin. I can’t.” Nodding, he paced the small space in front of the area in front the counter. “And I understand, but I’m not in the scene. You can show me tomorrow. I gotta go.”

  Martin’s annoyance rang out over the phone as Gage disconnected the call.

  “What did you do? He didn’t sound happy.”

  Gage lifted their plates and made his way to the table. “He wanted me to come down and watch a last minute scene change they decided to shoot.”

  “Don’t you think you should go?”

  He shook his head. “No. I’m not in it. Nothing will be lost if he shows me tomorrow.”

  His gesture warmed her but worried her, too. He might get away with it because he and Martin were close, but another director might have been pissed. “Gage, I don’t think—”

  Narrowing his eyes, he nailed her with a look. “And I want to spend time with you, and only you.” She decided to drop it and settled into the wonderful feeling, her mouth watering at the savory aromas, as Gage set their plates on the table and took the chair across from her. The garlic bread was stuffed with whole roasted garlic cloves, and she pulled one out and tossed it into her mouth. “We are going to be fresh tonight.”

  He grinned and tossed one of his own in his mouth. “As long as we both eat it, we won’t even notice.”

  She watched him take his first bite of lasagna. Everything he did was always so big and all in. There was no half-assing anything where he was concerned. “Thank you for making me dinner; this is a nice surprise.”

  He held her gaze. “You’re welcome.
I wanted to do more, and now I can.”

  “You’ve already done more.” She rushed on before he could comment. “Have you always cooked?”

  Shaking his head, he then sipped from his wine. “Since I was a kid, but it was Raquel that got me hooked. Every time I’d go over to their place for dinner, she’d have me help her in the kitchen.”

  “You’re really good.”

  He dipped his head. “I want big family dinners, the kind where everyone helps, where we talk about our day. I know how you feel about the kids of celebrities, but I’m doing things differently. I want to be around, and that’s one reason I’m making the shift with my career.”

  The idea warmed her. She could imagine herself chopping vegetables while drinking a glass of wine, him firing up a grill, the kids setting the table and teasing each other as they went. The vision no longer sent a shot of fear down her spine.

  She tilted her head to the side. “If that’s what you really plan on doing, then you’ll do it.”

  Reaching his hand across the table, he slid his fingers through hers. “Can you see yourself in a situation like that?”

  A month ago, she’d have closed down or run away, but now she could see it clearly, and she loved it—loved him. Nodding, she said, “Yes.”

  He squeezed her fingers gently, then released her hand.

  “How many kids do you want?”

  “At least two. I love Bel. She’s one of my best friends. I want that for my kids, too. But no matter how many I have, they will have the support they need.”

  She loved that he saw that. As crazy as Luca and Addi might make her, she was so thankful to have them. “I think two is a good number. It’ll make supporting them that much easier because you won’t be out numbered.”

  The corners of his lips lifted, and he ran his gaze over her face. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “I’m scared, but I’m more mad right now that I was making decisions based on Ethan. So stupid.”

  “It’s not, it’s normal. Changing the way we think is nearly impossible.”

  She put her hands out, and he touched the tips of his fingers to hers, then let their fingers twine together. “One day at a time?”